twisted wishes

[Bbgrizzle]

Granted, but it's Rocky Mountain Oysters.

I wish I could fly to the moon.

 

[Miranda Danda]

Granted, but it's Rocky Mountain Oysters.

I wish I could fly to the moon.

Granted- but the pilot had a bad case of flatulance and your space capsule is 5 feet by 5 feet

I wish I could be a movie star

 

[Taylor]

I wish I could be a movie star

Granted, but your first starring role is in a Britney Spears movie.

I wish I had a new BMW M5.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I wish I had a new BMW M5.

Granted, but you realized too late that BMW stands for Big Marshmallow Wagon.

I wish I had a bag of succulant Hershey Kisses.

 

[Miranda Danda]

Granted, but you realized too late that BMW stands for Big Marshmallow Wagon.

I wish I had a bag of succulant Hershey Kisses.

Granted- but you got a bag of kisses that were produced on the day the kindergarten class with an undiagnosed record breaking case of lice visited on a field trip.

I wish I did not kill every thread I visited.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I wish I did not kill every thread I visited.

Granted--ya didn't kill this one! But now everyone now thinks you are so witty, they constantly bombard you with pleas to post on their threads, and they send you so many PMs that you can't keep up!

I wish I were really crafty.

Edited to at the L in "pleas", before it said "peas".

 

[Miranda Danda]

Granted--ya didn't kill this one! But now everyone now thinks you are so witty, they constantly bombard you with peas to post on their threads, and they send you so many PMs that you can't keep up!

I wish I were really crafty.

Granted- but one day you get so incredibly crafty that you hotglue your fingers together so you have to special order a typing wand to keep up with whats going on here at the Dis.

I wish I had some chicken crunchies sitting right here in front of me.

 

[fabumouse]

Granted. But the large and rather smelly convict who is eating them won't share.

I wish my DH would take my DD to the park.

 

[Miranda Danda]

Granted. But the large and rather smelly convict who is eating them won't share.

I wish my DH would take my DD to the park.

Granted- but he takes you to the park where me and my smelly convict are eating out chicken crunchies

I wish I was finished with school (again)

 

[Steamboat Marti]

Granted--ya didn't kill this one! But now everyone now thinks you are so witty, they constantly bombard you with pleas to post on their threads, and they send you so many PMs that you can't keep up!

I wish I were really crafty.

Edited to at the L in "pleas", before it said "peas".[/QUOTE]


Can we bombard her with peas, can we huh? Can we please?

 

[Steamboat Marti]

Granted- but he takes you to the park where me and my smelly convict are eating out chicken crunchies

I wish I was finished with school (again)

Granted - you are finished with school but then enter the 9-5 work force FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE WITH NOTHING BUT TWO LOUSY DAYS OFF A WEEK!

I wish I could come up with some really witty wishes

 

[CF'er]

Granted.... but the tag fairy finds you and you have alot of 'splainin to do.

I wish DH would come home so we can go to Sam's Club.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I wish DH would come home so we can go to Sam's Club.

Hey! My DH and I are going to Sam's Club today too!

Okay, Granted, but Sam's is out of cereal and Raviolis. . . . What a pity.

I wish I had a drinking fountain that spewed out Diet Coke instead of water.

 

[Miranda Danda]

Granted, but it is recycled Coke that has been collected from the bottom of a soggy garbage bag.

I wish I could live in the mall for just one night.

 

[Gwene65]

Granted, but it is recycled Coke that has been collected from the bottom of a soggy garbage bag.

I wish I could live in the mall for just one night.

Granted, but all the stores are locked and closed and so is the Starbucks! Looks like you will have to sleep on a bench too.

 

[fabumouse]

We need a wish to go with that Twist.

So here it is:

I wish I was in Tahiti in an ocean bungalow.

 

[Steamboat Marti]

We need a wish to go with that Twist.

So here it is:

I wish I was in Tahiti in an ocean bungalow.

Granted -- but the only time your travel agent could get you there and its during typhoon season. "I swear the bungalow was ON the ocean in the brochure, not in it..."


I wish my son would stop harrassing me for a play date.

 

[arkansas mom]

Granted. Now PopDaddy is harrassing you for a real date!

I wish I didn't have to pay bills this afternoon.

 

[fabumouse]

Granted. Now PopDaddy is harrassing you for a real date!

I wish I didn't have to pay bills this afternoon.

Granted. But your MIL, who paid your bills, now knows all the gritty details of your spending habits and wants to discuss them with you.

I wish I didn't have any stretch marks on my body.

 

[Miranda Danda]

Granted- and now you have thick, plasticy skin like Barbie. No bending or moving much anymore!

I wish my tongue was made of bubblegum