Trouble? at school

[Laura66]

She might not have said gifted - but it was certainly implied

 

[kamik86]

Honestly your daughter reminds me of how both myself and my husband were in school. I'm not sure we were truely gifted, not to the level that the term generally implies. But we learned things faster then most of our peers at that age and honestly still can pick things up quickly.

Our parents handled it in two very different ways. My parents stressed that I still had to try at school and get good grades but they got me other things to keep me interested. Work books for higher grades and games that involved higher math. They made sure I always had a book with me at school and the teachers were ok with me reading it whenever I finished stuff. That gave me something to do. I don't know if they could have moved me up a grade but I'm not sure it would have been good I was already one of the youngest in my class as my birthday was just before the cutoff. Going ahead one more would have meant graduating high school and starting college at 16.

In middle school it became easier. I did the homework for my other classes when I had nothing to do for that class. Same in high school which meant I almost never had homework to do at home (only when they were projects that involved stuff or typing the paper I had handwritten in class). By college I was much more on level. I was still on the higher end for grades and picked things up quickly but so did many of the other students and they had gone to schools that actually had AP courses and more tech classes so they were more experienced then me in a small town school. At this point I pretty much fit in.

I did a 5 year college (on purpose not took 5 years for a 4 year program - it was longer due to work study requirements) so I graduated and started work with people that were my own age. Things worked out pretty well.


For my husband. His mother didn't stress the importance of still trying even though he was bored. She let him skip school alot. He stopped trying or caring at all unless the subject interested him. He didn't do most of his homework. He still got B's and no one really pushed him to get more. (Except the one time he was told he could only get a playstation for his birthday if his report card was all A's. It was all A's that quarter for sure!)

Due to this he never really was pushed to keep learning. He still picks things up very quickly but he doesn't have any ambition. Maybe this wasn't just learned from the way his parents handled it. Maybe its a personality thing and I always would have been more ambitious then him. But due to this by the time he was in high school he had no idea what he wanted to do and didn't really want to have to try. So he didn't go to college. He later went back and did a certificate program but it was at a joke of a school and didn't really get him anywhere. So he now works retail. He is a brilliant guy and every bit as smart as me... honestly sometimes I think smarter. I mean I'm the engineer and he can still fix our computer problems faster then I can. In hindsight he would have done amazing in an IT type degree path. He honestly could do my job too, he just doesn't have the degree to get him in the door.

So my point... My advice is to make sure you still stress that learning is important. That she should do her work and do it well even if it is easy. That you should help her find things she can do when she is done that will be more acceptable (she won't always manage this... trust me I got in quite a few verbal battles of will with teachers as a kid) Don't allow her to slack off because she can. You don't want her to get in that habit.

 

[mom2rose&john]

Hey Guys I normally dont post on the community board but with my vacation just about planned I have made my way over here.

Anyhow.. I am having an issue with my DD. I am a single military mother. Because I am gone alot I have done alot to make sure my DD has every advantage I can give her. Which meant pre-school and then lots of time at library, zoo, muesums and such with Mommy when I am home. My house TV stays on Disney JR or PBS...

Well she started Kindergarden this year and she is way tooooo advanced for the class. They are counting to 25, she is counting 200+ (i normally make her stop then lol cause i got the point). She is spelling simple words and reading alot more then her class. Shapes and colors she has got that. She is even doing simple addition and subtraction.... Her class is still baby steps..while is running.... She is also the olderst in class since she has a december birthday

so my problem... she is getting board in class and getting in trouble. She finishes her work and wants to help others or wants to play and talk. She has + marks in everything but listening and following directions...

What can I do for her? I dont want to punish her, but i dont know how to fix this and the teachers keep telling me I should talk to her and work with her on listening and following directions.

If the OP is still reading this thread. Many kindergarten children are very good in class room work but need to develop the listening and following directions skills. It is just a natural process of emotional development. I haven't read many other posts but have you described what getting into trouble means (being sent to the principals vs. a clip move on the behavior chart) and what system is the teacher doing to inform you?

There should be no punishment at home unless she is destructively disruptive. Does the teacher have a system like green, yellow, red and white for behavior. If so, you can reward her with a cotton ball in a jar system for green behavior every day. When my children were in kindergarten they had an agenda book that the teacher bingo marker marked with the color they were on every day. If it was green 4 cotton balls. Yellow would be 1 cotton ball if the teacher stated that the behavior became better throughout the day for the first yellow, zero after that for the week. Red and white none. When the jar is full, we would go out for a treat (ice cream at Dairy Queen was a favorite). This provided them will a goal and they learned that there were consequences (not receiving a cotton ball) for their behavior that couldn't be construed as a punishment.

Does the classroom have any parent volunteer activities. Maybe you could sign up for one and observe the class to get a first hand look at what is happening in the classroom. Working with the teacher and letting the teacher know that this is a team effort will help all parties involved. Good Luck.

 

[msjprincess]

Also in that vain of reading what mom said, mom NEVER used the word gifted to describe her DD. Mom just said that the DD was given Advantages before starting K. Actually in post #11 mom says her DD wasn't ahead because she was gifted, but because mom had worked with her.(sorry started this post without quoting her first)

Sorry that has bothered me since the beginning of the thread. It was the second poster that said the little girl was gifted.

Now I truly think mom was willing to listen to reasonable help for her DD, but like usual around here the she got very little of that and a lot of people telling her all the stuff she is doing wrong.



Now for mom if you are still reading, playing school with her might help. Also I remind my DD to listen to the teacher and sit still in class as we wait for the bus in the mornings, every day.

Another thing the teachers around here send home behavior reports every day, so my DD likes to know hers says GOOD DAY on it. With my sons school they just give each child a color on the behavior chart like blue is best, green is ok, orange you did something to go down a color(like talking in class), yellow was two things, and red was a call home. For us blue and green were ok, orange we talked about and only one in in a month( figure everyone can have a bad day). We never got past that in K. So maybe the teacher could do something like that for her. For my son it helped to see where he was with the colors, and if they went down a color they had the ability to work at bringing the color back up.

Just some ideas.

She may not have used the word gifted, but in her second post she said that hoped that she could get the school on her side about moving her daughter to 1st grade. So it was definitely implied.

 

[olwyngdh]

She may not have used the word gifted, but in her second post she said that hoped that she could get the school on her side about moving her daughter to 1st grade. So it was definitely implied.

Actually, skipping a grade implies academically advanced, not gifted. There is a difference. Due to asynchronous development, grade skipping actually hurts many gifted children more than it helps them. Enrichment programs that allow them to explore new ideas and global thinking are what helps them. Advancing for one or two classes can help--a child doing algebra in 4th grade should not be held to doing 4th grade math, but that doesn't mean that same child is ready for 8th grade writing or science.

 

[mnrose]

Actually, skipping a grade implies academically advanced, not gifted. There is a difference. Due to asynchronous development, grade skipping actually hurts many gifted children more than it helps them. Enrichment programs that allow them to explore new ideas and global thinking are what helps them. Advancing for one or two classes can help--a child doing algebra in 4th grade should not be held to doing 4th grade math, but that doesn't mean that same child is ready for 8th grade writing or science.

Or has the social skills applicable to 8th graders. It is VERY typical for gifted children to LAG their peers in social skills and interactions. Which is another reason that grade advancing can be damaging to them.

 

[scoutie]

Actually, skipping a grade implies academically advanced, not gifted

Yes. Rote memorization (as mentioned with the counting to 200) is not a sign of giftedness, nor is knowing shapes and colors in kindergarten. My three year old can do that. He is definitely not gifted--ha ha! If the child moves up to first grade based on knowing colors, shapes, numbers and starting to read....she will likely be behind once the next quarter starts. I think of my neighbor, who has her daughter taking classes through Sylvan Learning Center. She is diagramming sentences at third grade, knows her parts of speech, etc. She didn't get into the gifted program because she doesn't fit the criteria of seeking out knowledge, being a critical thinker, etc. I teach Honors classes and there are many pieces of the puzzle, but I often refer to this chart to remind paretns and teachers the difference between a high achiever and a truly gifted child.

http://www.bertiekingore.com/high-gt-create.htm

Here is an example from the chart: A high achiever understands humor. A gifted learner creates abstract humor. In others words...A high achiever can count to 200. A gifted learner would manipulate the numbers in a creative way.


The issue seems to be that the child is bored, and I'm sure many others in the kindergarten class are. Most kids who have gone to preschool know letters, numbers, shapes, colors and are reading. Kids who don't have support at home might not. Your daughter sounds on track for kindergarten, but probably needs some enrichment, which the school should offer.

Most schools have AT (academically talented) programs, and if your child is truly gifted, she will likely be identified.

 

[h518may]

2 of my children are considered gifted and the other has always been considered advanced.

First off - I really get rubbed the wrong way by parents of "gifted" or "advanced" children who use the excuse of "they're bored" (which you spelled board) as an excuse for bad behavior - especially when it distracts other children in the classroom. Why on earth should she not be held accountable for that??

Also - Kdg. is way to early to tell if your daughter is truly gifted. As others have mentioned - they all come to the classroom with different experiences and maturity levels.

Talk to the teacher to see if you can send in workbooks, or have her read or if there are extra problems she can do to challenge herself and keep her busy. She absolutely needs to know she cannot bother the teacher and other students just because you feel - or if she is in fact - gifted.

I think what rubbed people the wrong way how the op presented the question. We all love our children and want what's best - so she's no better or different than any other Disers.
She was also insinuating that her daughter should not be punished or corrected for her disruptions like other students in the class because her daughter is gifted. Not giving a thought as to his this affects the other student who are trying to learn.
If she would have had a different attitude or worded her post differently and asked for help or ideas to help keep her daughter occupied or disciplined I believe many of the answers would have come across as more friendly.

Maybe I'm wrong here, but I think mom rubbed you the wrong way with her post. See I wasn't bothered by her posts so there is no anger(that's probably to strong a word) behind my response. Maybe I'm not as bothered because I don't have children that are gifted. See I might have had a different reaction to her post if her child was behind in class, see my DD is special needs.

All I'm trying to get at is that it doesn't really matter if her DD is gifted, the girl is probably a little bored. The DD may need some extra work to keep her busy. I mean if the class had a half hour to do a math paper, if your child finished in 5 minutes would you really want them doing nothing for 25 minutes. I also wonder how many kindergarten students really have that much patients.

I also think mom can work with her daughter about what is allowed in class, set up some rewards and punishments that would help.

I also wonder about how the girl did in preschool. If there were no problems with listening and sitting still then, what worked that might help this years teacher.

 

[BSmithington]

I always try to figure out the purpose of posts like this. Is it to belittle someone, or to make fun of gifted children? There is already so much negativity on these boards and in the general population about intelligent people. Should we all aspire to be average? Should talented people hide who they are so others won't feel bad?

Yes. Because in all likelihood the child is not that gifted. LeBron is gifted. Zuckerberg is gifted. Mila Kunis is gifted.

Counting to 200 is something the child was taught at a young age. We taught my son how to speak english, spanish and italian. Was my son super advanced because he already mastered 3 languages or did we just teach him three languages? It's not what you know or how you learned it...it's how you actually apply that knowledge.

 

[bellebud]

Yes. Rote memorization (as mentioned with the counting to 200) is not a sign of giftedness, nor is knowing shapes and colors in kindergarten. My three year old can do that. He is definitely not gifted--ha ha! If the child moves up to first grade based on knowing colors, shapes, numbers and starting to read....she will likely be behind once the next quarter starts. I think of my neighbor, who has her daughter taking classes through Sylvan Learning Center. She is diagramming sentences at third grade, knows her parts of speech, etc. She didn't get into the gifted program because she doesn't fit the criteria of seeking out knowledge, being a critical thinker, etc. I teach Honors classes and there are many pieces of the puzzle, but I often refer to this chart to remind paretns and teachers the difference between a high achiever and a truly gifted child.

http://www.bertiekingore.com/high-gt-create.htm

Here is an example from the chart: A high achiever understands humor. A gifted learner creates abstract humor. In others words...A high achiever can count to 200. A gifted learner would manipulate the numbers in a creative way.


The issue seems to be that the child is bored, and I'm sure many others in the kindergarten class are. Most kids who have gone to preschool know letters, numbers, shapes, colors and are reading. Kids who don't have support at home might not. Your daughter sounds on track for kindergarten, but probably needs some enrichment, which the school should offer.

Most schools have AT (academically talented) programs, and if your child is truly gifted, she will likely be identified.

The breakdown of high achiever/gifted/creative learners is very interesting. Thank you for posting it.

 

[wilkeliza]

The breakdown of high achiever/gifted/creative learners is very interesting. Thank you for posting it.

The repetitions was a big thing in my g/t courses and what tipped off my speech teachers. I only need to do thing 1 to 2 times maybe 3 max to get it. I remember if it wasn't "clicking" you would quickly downgraded. This carried on through most of my education. Even in my calculus courses my teacher was very clear we stopped for no one because we were suppose to be the gifted kids and of we weren't getting it we should ask to be put back down a level.

 

[okeydokey]

Yes. Because in all likelihood the child is not that gifted. LeBron is gifted. Zuckerberg is gifted. Mila Kunis is gifted.

Counting to 200 is something the child was taught at a young age. We taught my son how to speak english, spanish and italian. Was my son super advanced because he already mastered 3 languages or did we just teach him three languages? It's not what you know or how you learned it...it's how you actually apply that knowledge.

I know what gifted means, thanks. I am just wondering why people are so sure that if a poster uses the word gifted, they should be mocked. There are truly gifted people in the world.

As was stated earlier, the OP didn't refer to her child as gifted and I have no idea if she is or if she isn't. It is just a general observation if a child is tested at a high IQ, it is acceptable to make fun of them and I was wondering why.

I think the OP got some good advise here, and I hope her DD has a very successful year in Kindergarten.

 

[TAX GUY]

I know what gifted means, thanks. I am just wondering why people are so sure that if a poster uses the word gifted, they should be mocked. There are truly gifted people in the world.

As was stated earlier, the OP didn't refer to her child as gifted and I have no idea if she is or if she isn't. It is just a general observation if a child is tested at a high IQ, it is acceptable to make fun of them and I was wondering why.

I think the OP got some good advise here, and I hope her DD has a very successful year in Kindergarten.

Its just my opinion, so take it for what its worth...

but would it be a matter of proving there is a gift (tested by others) and the parent or relative just SAYING their child is gifted?

Either way, I'm not gifted with anything nor is my son. We're all just average so I'm not throwing any stones to either side (gifted or not).

 

[olwyngdh]

Its just my opinion, so take it for what its worth...

but would it be a matter of proving there is a gift (tested by others) and the parent or relative just SAYING their child is gifted?

Either way, I'm not gifted with anything nor is my son. We're all just average so I'm not throwing any stones to either side (gifted or not).

In many school districts parents must advocate for a child in order to have the testing done. In many states gifted education is not mandated and is therefore not provided. It can be ugly out there (and in here) for the parent of a gifted child and for the child. Thankfully for the OP, she is in VA where it is mandated and teachers are trained to look for signs that may indicate giftedness. 16 other kids were tested along with my daughter in Kindergarfen, 6 of them were acceped into theprogram. When the were retested at the end of 2nd grade, only 4 of them continued into the actual gifted program. Had we lived here at tbetime, she would not have been tested, and I was told by a teacher that she needed to be medicated because it was "obvious" that she had adhd and was at least mildly autistic. As a parent, if I hadn't already known what was really going on and hadnt worked with an advocacy group, I would have probably trusted the teacher and done lasting harm to my child.

The chart posted earlier is a really good simple checklist for traits to watch for, and anyone seeing a lot of the gifted thinking showing up intheir child should talk to the school about testing. And then pray that they find the child is academically advanced, not gifted. Life will be much easier for both of them.

 

[mom2rtk]

And then pray that they find the child is academically advanced, not gifted. Life will be much easier for both of them.

Absolutely the truth.

Most who don't see this don't have a truly gifted child, but an academically advanced one. The gifted child has a brain that's wired differently from his or her peers. And it can present so many issues over time.

 

[jerseygal]

i thought about to be honest. They are doing state placement testing last week and this week... i am trying to wait on the results to see ... hopefully it will get the school on my side for moving her to first grade

It was suggested I take her to the doc to see about if she has ADD, but I really think its just cause she is board.

Maddening! Teachers jump on the "lets test the child" too fast!
For God's sake, this is October and your child started school, what the most 2 months ago? Give these children a chance to adjust to new surroundings, new teachers, new peers.

Perhaps she is bored...Through the years, have heard stories of children being bored, talking unnecessarily, etc...I would express to your child that talking will not be tolerated while the teacher is teaching. Once some testing comes back, I would communicate with the teacher that you suspect your child is bored. Perhaps the teacher can give your child additional assignments which are more challenging. In this case, at this EARLY STAGE OF THE SCHOOL YEAR, I would NEVER consider "testing" for ADD! IMO, "easy" outs for teachers that don't want to work with students!

 

[kamik86]

Maddening! Teachers jump on the "lets test the child" too fast!
For God's sake, this is October and your child started school, what the most 2 months ago? Give these children a chance to adjust to new surroundings, new teachers, new peers.

Perhaps she is bored...Through the years, have heard stories of children being bored, talking unnecessarily, etc...I would express to your child that talking will not be tolerated while the teacher is teaching. Once some testing comes back, I would communicate with the teacher that you suspect your child is bored. Perhaps the teacher can give your child additional assignments which are more challenging. In this case, at this EARLY STAGE OF THE SCHOOL YEAR, I would NEVER consider "testing" for ADD! IMO, "easy" outs for teachers that don't want to work with students!

I agree as a child I most definitely would have been tested for ADHD. Or at least my parents would be pushed to test me. I talked ALOT. I was always sitting at the edge of my seat like I was about to jump up and walk around the room. My legs would be swinging. I wasn't allowed pens that click because I would sit there and click it CONSTANTLY. (I still have to watch for that last one). But honestly I don't believe I was ADHD.

I also wasn't gifted. I had 3 much older sisters and a competitive spirit that led me to want to be able to do whatever everyone else was able to do. So since everyone else could read I wanted to read and could read by my 4th birthday. I learned to write very young because everyone else could write. etc.

I started talking because I was done and was looking for something else to do. Talking got much better when mom made me keep a book at all times and the teachers let me read as soon as I was done.

 

[NewRVLady]

Absolutely the truth.

Most who don't see this don't have a truly gifted child, but an academically advanced one. The gifted child has a brain that's wired differently from his or her peers. And it can present so many issues over time.

VERY true

My gifted nephew was an amazing child-his brain was like an adult's

 

[shelly3girls]

I would start by talking to the teacher. What you have described was the standard curriculum in my DS's Kindergarten class (private). My DS had similar behavioral issues so I sent extra books in for him to work on. The teacher ended up using them for several kids in the class and appreciated having them.

I also started a reward system for behavior but ultimately I think he just settled into the classroom after a couple months. The beginning months of school can always be a challenge. There were times when rewards were held back due to behavior but by January it was smooth sailing.

Is there any chance the behavior problems occur at times she sees you less? My son tended to act up more during my busier work schedule.

 

[Vernie822]

I am not a parent - but coming from someone who was 'advanced' at that age, I'm just going to throw in my two cents..

I have an August birthday so my parents struggled with whether to send me as the oldest kid in the grade or the youngest (I am the oldest of five). They sent me so I would be the oldest, so I began kindergarten as a 6 year old. Reading little chapter books. I was SUCHHH a chatty Cathy. I still am, haha.

I was always hanging out with the neighbor girls as I was growing up - their birthdays were 6 months before mine so they were sent a year before me in school. Academically, I was tested in first grade for the gifted program. I was given special books and worksheets to do in my free time after I was finished with my own work. I'm not a teacher, but I think that would maybe keep your daughter from getting anxious and restless in class after she has finished her work. Like others have said, she is probably one of a few that are 'ahead of the game' since grade K is such a wide variety of experience.

I have a brother (Child 4 of 5) who was always a little more restless than the rest of us. He wasn't learning as quickly at a young age. My mom thought he would really struggle in class. So she had me sit down with him when he was in kindergarten. I would find worksheets online and we would practice together. He is a junior in HS now and he's taking college courses all this time she worried he would be behind the other kids, he's actually 2 years ahead of them! He really is such a smart cookie though!! Thankfully the school district is accommodating and allows him to take upper level math and science classes while still doing the other normal classes with his peers.

As far as skipping a grade - My parents considered it with me and with my brother. I feel like it would have been fine academically for me - but socially I don't think it would have worked as well. Just remember that your daughter would be the 'youngest' all the time, graduating early at maybe 16 or 17 may be nice, but will she really be ready for college/the real world at that age? I went to school with a kid who was my brother's age (2 years younger). When I was in 6th grade, he was in 5th (should have been in 4th). By the time we got to high school, he graduated a year ahead of my class!! He had just turned 15. Socially, he was NOT 18 years old, but academically, he was. He now has a computer science degree and is a lead developer for a really popular App.. So it looks like it worked out for him, haha.