Trouble? at school

[wilkeliza]

OP I would suggest talking with the teacher. Seems like the entire class was recently tested for giftedness. If she was deemed gifted then they should provide extra programming for her. I was tested in kindergarden and didn't make it because I had a speech impediment. However, I was never disruptive. I was retested in 3rd grade after I finished my speech therapy in 3 weeks when it was a 12 week program. Retest showed I qualified so I was fast tracked in 4th grade to the GT program which I stayed on until Jr. High where we started on pre-AP and high school courses. I never skipped a grade by my district had special groups for kids who were advanced so we could stay in our age group but take higher courses. No matter how bored I was I was never allowed to be disruptive. My mother would not tolerate it. I was allowed to bring a book and extra math work with me that my mom bought and if I finished before anyone else I was allowed to quietly read or do extra math which she would check when I got home. She okayed this every year with my teachers. However, if I was disruptive by talking to others or getting out of my seat or "helping" I was still disciplined when I got home (time out). My mom was a teacher so she would not stand for disruptive behavior no matter how gifted we were.

 

[tina.tina]

Unfortunately, sometimes there are personality conflicts between a child and teacher. Teachers are only human and there are good and bad just like in every profession. In second grade, over my objections, my DS was allowed to sit in the floor and work. Then, his teacher wanted to know how to motivate him to get his class work done when he had never had a problem with that before in first grade or afterward in third grade.

I live in a high poverty area and the schools don't do enough for kids who are above average for their grade level- particularly at the elementary age. They're just struggling to bring the low achievers as close to the average as possible. That's why we try to challenge the kids' creativity and intelligence at home.

I really like the idea of playing school. Doing role reversals would be good, too, where she is the "boss." Take your DD places where she has to sit and be quiet. Then, reinforce her good behavior and explain that she should behave that way at school, too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hey Guys I normally dont post on the community board but with my vacation just about planned I have made my way over here.

Anyhow.. I am having an issue with my DD. I am a single military mother. Because I am gone alot I have done alot to make sure my DD has every advantage I can give her. Which meant pre-school and then lots of time at library, zoo, muesums and such with Mommy when I am home. My house TV stays on Disney JR or PBS...

Well she started Kindergarden this year and she is way tooooo advanced for the class. They are counting to 25, she is counting 200+ (i normally make her stop then lol cause i got the point). She is spelling simple words and reading alot more then her class. Shapes and colors she has got that. She is even doing simple addition and subtraction.... Her class is still baby steps..while is running.... She is also the olderst in class since she has a december birthday

so my problem... she is getting board in class and getting in trouble. She finishes her work and wants to help others or wants to play and talk. She has + marks in everything but listening and following directions...

What can I do for her? I dont want to punish her, but i dont know how to fix this and the teachers keep telling me I should talk to her and work with her on listening and following directions.

Listening and following directions is an important thing to learn in K. I would try and work with the teacher in tandem to try and solve this.

 

[Coonhound]

Go to a bookstore or half price books and buy a big workbook of first grade math or just all around first grade work.
Ask the teacher if you can keep it in her school desk , so that when she finishes her assignments at school then she can get that workbook out and be engaged in that instead of disrupting the class.
That way she is still busy and her mind is still being challenged with harder work, but, she won't be talking to her neighbors.

 

[Coonhound]

OP, you have come to the right place and should receive excellent advice. After all, most DIS children are gifted and advanced.

 

[rigs32]

I was just like your DD. I went to kindergarten for one week and was then moved to first grade. I never had social issues beyond those faced by typical "smart kids". Even then, I was often extremely bored in class. We'd have a certain amount of time to complete a task and I'd need a small fraction of that time to get it done. It's hard to sit and stare into space for long periods of time every day or multiple times a day.

My parents had the teacher allow me to read when I had down time. I was learning, staying quiet, and no longer bored

I was also lucky enough to have a few elementary teachers that really pushed us. We read The Hobbit in fourth grade. It was a struggle, but a more valuable experience than never having to work to learn/understand something.

 

[breakin2]

By reading these boards, it would appear 90% of the population is "gifted."

 

[Sabeking]

I would definitely look for a balance between academic and emotional maturity.

When I taught first grade I had a young boy test out of kindergarten and come into my first grade class. He was very bright but emotionally not ready! Many times he would get frustrated with following rules. As a result he would crawl under his desk and cry uncontrollably. This was definitely a strain on forming friendships with the other kids. It was a hard year for both of us!

 

[Aladora]

Go to a bookstore or half price books and buy a big workbook of first grade math or just all around first grade work.
Ask the teacher if you can keep it in her school desk , so that when she finishes her assignments at school then she can get that workbook out and be engaged in that instead of disrupting the class.
That way she is still busy and her mind is still being challenged with harder work, but, she won't be talking to her neighbors.

I've done this for my son for every grade since Kindergarten. At the beginning of the school year I have a meeting with his teacher and let her know that I will be sending in a workbook. If he gets his work done early he just pulls out his workbook and does some pages in it.

By reading these boards, it would appear 90% of the population is "gifted."

My son is likely not "gifted" but he has never been tested to see if he is. He is however advanced in some subjects so he gets that work done quickly.

I was tested in grade 4 and I was put into what was then called "enrichment program" but now is called a "gifted program." I was moved into an advanced class for grades 5, 6 and 7 and hated it so much that I left after grade 7 and moved back into a regular stream class. If my son ever qualified for a gifted class, I cannot really see myself allowing him to switch.

 

[dawnball]

I'm going to chime in with the majority here.

K is about learning to follow directions, to work within a group, to stand nicely in line, to entertain yourself quietly without disturbing others, etc. I encourage you to work with her teacher - discuss situations where there have been problems and talk about how to handle them differently next time.

I'd also suggest that you put her in as many situations that require working within a group as you can. Sports classes are great - martial arts, gymnastics, soccer, etc. Not so much swim, because the groups tend to be too small. Story time at the library - help her practice sitting nicely and paying attention.

 

[Art 1]

Hey Guys I normally dont post on the community board but with my vacation just about planned I have made my way over here.

Anyhow.. I am having an issue with my DD. I am a single military mother. Because I am gone alot I have done alot to make sure my DD has every advantage I can give her. Which meant pre-school and then lots of time at library, zoo, muesums and such with Mommy when I am home. My house TV stays on Disney JR or PBS...

Well she started Kindergarden this year and she is way tooooo advanced for the class. They are counting to 25, she is counting 200+ (i normally make her stop then lol cause i got the point). She is spelling simple words and reading alot more then her class. Shapes and colors she has got that. She is even doing simple addition and subtraction.... Her class is still baby steps..while is running.... She is also the olderst in class since she has a december birthday

so my problem... she is getting board in class and getting in trouble. She finishes her work and wants to help others or wants to play and talk. She has + marks in everything but listening and following directions...

What can I do for her? I dont want to punish her, but i dont know how to fix this and the teachers keep telling me I should talk to her and work with her on listening and following directions.

Oh dear, another mother who thinks they have the next Einstein. I can tell you from my personal experience and one who has a very close family member who is a Kindergarten teacher that your child is normal. In fact if she hasn't traveled much of the world by now she would be less than the average Kindergardener that they see.

 

[Laura66]

Hey Guys I normally dont post on the community board but with my vacation just about planned I have made my way over here.

Anyhow.. I am having an issue with my DD. I am a single military mother. Because I am gone alot I have done alot to make sure my DD has every advantage I can give her. Which meant pre-school and then lots of time at library, zoo, muesums and such with Mommy when I am home. My house TV stays on Disney JR or PBS...

Well she started Kindergarden this year and she is way tooooo advanced for the class. They are counting to 25, she is counting 200+ (i normally make her stop then lol cause i got the point). She is spelling simple words and reading alot more then her class. Shapes and colors she has got that. She is even doing simple addition and subtraction.... Her class is still baby steps..while is running.... She is also the olderst in class since she has a december birthday

so my problem... she is getting board in class and getting in trouble. She finishes her work and wants to help others or wants to play and talk. She has + marks in everything but listening and following directions...

What can I do for her? I dont want to punish her, but i dont know how to fix this and the teachers keep telling me I should talk to her and work with her on listening and following directions.

2 of my children are considered gifted and the other has always been considered advanced.

First off - I really get rubbed the wrong way by parents of "gifted" or "advanced" children who use the excuse of "they're bored" (which you spelled board) as an excuse for bad behavior - especially when it distracts other children in the classroom. Why on earth should she not be held accountable for that??

Also - Kdg. is way to early to tell if your daughter is truly gifted. As others have mentioned - they all come to the classroom with different experiences and maturity levels.

Talk to the teacher to see if you can send in workbooks, or have her read or if there are extra problems she can do to challenge herself and keep her busy. She absolutely needs to know she cannot bother the teacher and other students just because you feel - or if she is in fact - gifted.

 

[pigletto]

OP, you have come to the right place and should receive excellent advice. After all, most DIS children are gifted and advanced.

By reading these boards, it would appear 90% of the population is "gifted."

Can I ask what posts like these hope to accomplish in an otherwise helpful and productive discussion? I mean other than the obvious snark and what appears to be amusing yourselves?
I could go into why it would appear that way, the socioeconomic factors and variables that come into play into the particular population that this board attracts, but I don't think you are honestly interested in why it might be.. you just want to make people feel bad.
I worried for a very long time about approaching anyone to help my son. That's a big regret of mine. We didn't want to be *that* family, we didn't want to appear to be bragging, we didn't want to think the teacher was rolling their eyes when we left the room. I feel like I failed him for a good three or four years to be honest, and that sucks. And then it dawned on me that we wouldn't roll our eyes at a child with a learning disability, we'd advocate for them.
My daughter has so much trouble with math that it took hours and hours and hours of extra help to get her to just barely pass. Why is it ok to talk about that but not say "hey, my other child learns differently and isn't thriving in this environment, what can we do?".
I'm sitting here with the test scores. We had the province wide testing, we see where he is. He had additional testing. It doesn't lie.

Do you know that I have actually said to my son "Don't tell the other kids you tested so high. Don't use the word "gifted". They'll think you are bragging."
I think it's sad I have to tell him to hide who he is because other people will take it the wrong way. I'm all about teaching humility, but I didn't feel good saying that.
Maybe the OP's daughter is advanced, maybe she's gifted, maybe it will even out in a few years. Who knows? But why be derisive and rude?
I realize these are rhetorical questions.. I seriously doubt I'll get an answer. I just don't understand.

 

[Colleen27]

Can I ask what posts like these hope to accomplish in an otherwise helpful and productive discussion? I mean other than the obvious snark and what appears to be amusing yourselves?
I could go into why it would appear that way, the socioeconomic factors and variables that come into play into the particular population that this board attracts, but I don't think you are honestly interested in why it might be.. you just want to make people feel bad.

I had a similar response all typed out about the demographics of the DIS, the way the term gifted is used in public schools right now, etc. and I decided why bother? It isn't as those who contribute nothing more than a snide comment are likely to be open-minded enough to reconsider the issue.

 

[surfgirl]

I'm sitting here with the test scores. We had the province wide testing, we see where he is. He had additional testing. It doesn't lie.

Do you know that I have actually said to my son "Don't tell the other kids you tested so high. Don't use the word "gifted". They'll think you are bragging."
I think it's sad I have to tell him to hide who he is because other people will take it the wrong way. I'm all about teaching humility, but I didn't feel good saying that.

I would recommend that you not discuss your son's scores with him. Sometimes there is such a thing as too much information. Just like adults don't typically discuss salaries (at least we don't)... kids shouldn't discuss test scores. And many kids don't quite have that filter yet, so why even give them that responsibility?

When I had my kids tested, they were told it was to determine their learning styles so I could help them learn for their best style individually. I did get that information from the testing process, so it wasn't a lie. Didn't give them stress about the test and they weren't looking for "scores" at the end.

------------------------

OP, I think you've gotten some great advice here. Look forward to hearing how things go.

 

[okeydokey]

By reading these boards, it would appear 90% of the population is "gifted."

I always try to figure out the purpose of posts like this. Is it to belittle someone, or to make fun of gifted children? There is already so much negativity on these boards and in the general population about intelligent people. Should we all aspire to be average? Should talented people hide who they are so others won't feel bad?

 

[okeydokey]

Can I ask what posts like these hope to accomplish in an otherwise helpful and productive discussion? I mean other than the obvious snark and what appears to be amusing yourselves?
I could go into why it would appear that way, the socioeconomic factors and variables that come into play into the particular population that this board attracts, but I don't think you are honestly interested in why it might be.. you just want to make people feel bad.
I worried for a very long time about approaching anyone to help my son. That's a big regret of mine. We didn't want to be *that* family, we didn't want to appear to be bragging, we didn't want to think the teacher was rolling their eyes when we left the room. I feel like I failed him for a good three or four years to be honest, and that sucks. And then it dawned on me that we wouldn't roll our eyes at a child with a learning disability, we'd advocate for them.
My daughter has so much trouble with math that it took hours and hours and hours of extra help to get her to just barely pass. Why is it ok to talk about that but not say "hey, my other child learns differently and isn't thriving in this environment, what can we do?".
I'm sitting here with the test scores. We had the province wide testing, we see where he is. He had additional testing. It doesn't lie.

Do you know that I have actually said to my son "Don't tell the other kids you tested so high. Don't use the word "gifted". They'll think you are bragging."
I think it's sad I have to tell him to hide who he is because other people will take it the wrong way. I'm all about teaching humility, but I didn't feel good saying that.
Maybe the OP's daughter is advanced, maybe she's gifted, maybe it will even out in a few years. Who knows? But why be derisive and rude?
I realize these are rhetorical questions.. I seriously doubt I'll get an answer. I just don't understand.

I posted my response before I read yours, this is exactly what I was trying to say. I don't want my son to hide who he is, but I, too, worry that people might think he is bragging. I told no one what he scored on the EOC for subjects he had never studied at school, and then I think, why? He should be proud that in addition to being lucky to be born with good intelligence, he works hard and enjoys learning. Is it different than being a star football player, or a great beauty queen.

 

[pigletto]

I would recommend that you not discuss your son's scores with him. Sometimes there is such a thing as too much information. Just like adults don't typically discuss salaries (at least we don't)... kids shouldn't discuss test scores. And many kids don't quite have that filter yet, so why even give them that responsibility?

When I had my kids tested, they were told it was to determine their learning styles so I could help them learn for their best style individually. I did get that information from the testing process, so it wasn't a lie. Didn't give them stress about the test and they weren't looking for "scores" at the end.

------------------------

OP, I think you've gotten some great advice here. Look forward to hearing how things go.

I absolutely agree with you and didn't discuss the scores with him. We did have to prepare him somewhat though because he will leave school once a week and be bussed to another city. And once the initial scores that the entire class takes are in, only a few kids were asked for additional testing. He knew something was up and asking questions. Finally they had us sign permission forms for psychological testing which is part of the process. He knew something was up. So we laid it out as casually as possible, used terms like "extra learning opportunities" etc and tried to get him excited.
He came home saying one of the kids was teasing them a bit about "gifted" classes and I explained and that's when I stressed it wasn't something to go around saying. It's tough but I think we managed to keep him in the know without going overboard.

ETA) One other thing I should mention is that the process here is a bit different I think. They test ALL the kids. Then if the scores are in the 98th percentile AND their is a nomination by two staff members there is further academic testing individually and a psychological test. The results from the last test aren't even in yet.

 

[Tinijocaro]

If she doesn't listen in kindergarten she won't listen in1st grade. A lot more than aced emits is taught in kindergarten-listening and following directions is one if the more important skills.

 

[okeydokey]

One of my best friends is a kindergarten teacher. These first months are always a bit rough. Children are learning the rules, and how to behave as part of a group. It is not too unusual for children to still be learning self control at this age. I don't think the OP needs panic about her daughter's behavior yet. She does need to get with the teacher to get some specific strategies that she can employ that will help her daughter adjust to school this year. I am sure that by the end of the year, the class will have made loads of progress and will be humming along nicely. I don't think it is fair to label her child as trouble just yet!