Trouble? at school

[Bellanota]

Hey Guys I normally dont post on the community board but with my vacation just about planned I have made my way over here.

Anyhow.. I am having an issue with my DD. I am a single military mother. Because I am gone alot I have done alot to make sure my DD has every advantage I can give her. Which meant pre-school and then lots of time at library, zoo, muesums and such with Mommy when I am home. My house TV stays on Disney JR or PBS...

Well she started Kindergarden this year and she is way tooooo advanced for the class. They are counting to 25, she is counting 200+ (i normally make her stop then lol cause i got the point). She is spelling simple words and reading alot more then her class. Shapes and colors she has got that. She is even doing simple addition and subtraction.... Her class is still baby steps..while is running.... She is also the olderst in class since she has a december birthday

so my problem... she is getting board in class and getting in trouble. She finishes her work and wants to help others or wants to play and talk. She has + marks in everything but listening and following directions...

What can I do for her? I dont want to punish her, but i dont know how to fix this and the teachers keep telling me I should talk to her and work with her on listening and following directions.

 

[Hrhpd]

Hey Guys I normally dont post on the community board but with my vacation just about planned I have made my way over here.

Anyhow.. I am having an issue with my DD. I am a single military mother. Because I am gone alot I have done alot to make sure my DD has every advantage I can give her. Which meant pre-school and then lots of time at library, zoo, muesums and such with Mommy when I am home. My house TV stays on Disney JR or PBS...

Well she started Kindergarden this year and she is way tooooo advanced for the class. They are counting to 25, she is counting 200+ (i normally make her stop then lol cause i got the point). She is spelling simple words and reading alot more then her class. Shapes and colors she has got that. She is even doing simple addition and subtraction.... Her class is still baby steps..while is running.... She is also the olderst in class since she has a december birthday

so my problem... she is getting board in class and getting in trouble. She finishes her work and wants to help others or wants to play and talk. She has + marks in everything but listening and following directions...

What can I do for her? I dont want to punish her, but i dont know how to fix this and the teachers keep telling me I should talk to her and work with her on listening and following directions.

She sounds very gifted.

Move her to first grade.

 

[mommasita]

She sounds very gifted.

Move her to first grade.

She does sound gifted, but really? Even if she doesn't listen? Seems Mom, here you don't understand the difference between punishing and teaching her to listen to the teacher... In my opinion anyway..

Sending her up won't help that if you don't teach it, to help the teacher.. She may be bored, but she still needs to listen.

 

[Bellanota]

i thought about to be honest. They are doing state placement testing last week and this week... i am trying to wait on the results to see ... hopefully it will get the school on my side for moving her to first grade

It was suggested I take her to the doc to see about if she has ADD, but I really think its just cause she is board.

 

[lisateaches]

We are kind of going through this, without the behavior issues. Our daughter didn't want to go to school. She said it was boring. Talked to teacher and she said my daughter is one of the kids who is already doing advanced work , but didn't realize she was bored. Teacher put some things in place ( " a book of more advanced work etc.) and voila...child is happy. I would ask the teacher to challenger her, and go over some role play situations with your daughter. They are still learning school etiquette.

 

[Bellanota]

She does sound gifted, but really? Even if she doesn't listen? Seems Mom, here you don't understand the difference between punishing and teaching her to listen to the teacher... In my opinion anyway..

Sending her up won't help that if you don't teach it, to help the teacher.. She may be bored, but she still needs to listen.

no your misunderstanding me... i want to teach her to sit and listen, but its hard for me to get that across to her when we are talking about it hours and hours after it happened. She always thinks she is in trouble and starts crying because she doesnt mean to be bad she tells me. She tells me she just want to help the other kids or she was doing it because she was done with her work and it breaks my heart cause I want to teach her without it seeming like a punishment.

I am trying to figure out help for how do i teach her without it seeming like a punishment..

 

[Southernmiss]

Conference with the teacher to discuss in person. What does the teacher think? Is there something else the teacher can do with her--extra assignments, etc? Can she begin to read simple books while others finish their work? Not sure I'd move her to first grade as there's a lot of other maturity development taking place between k and 1 than just learning numbers and shapes. Also moving her this early could affect her in future grades.

I would also have a chat with dd to explain to her that part of learning in kindergarten is to learn how to sit still and behave.

 

[Hrhpd]

never mind. Too Cranky.

 

[Bellanota]

We are kind of going through this, without the behavior issues. Our daughter didn't want to go to school. She said it was boring. Talked to teacher and she said my daughter is one of the kids who is already doing advanced work , but didn't realize she was bored. Teacher put some things in place ( " a book of more advanced work etc.) and voila...child is happy. I would ask the teacher to challenger her, and go over some role play situations with your daughter. They are still learning school etiquette.

oooooo i like that idea i will bring it up at the next conference... this will keep her with her friends and still let her learn that sitting and listening she needs to work on. or maybe just see if they can make sure she isnt sitting there doing nothing... maybe if when she finishs her work they give her something else to do? like another work sheet... i will bring that up. great idea

 

[mommasita]

no your misunderstanding me... i want to teach her to sit and listen, but its hard for me to get that across to her when we are talking about it hours and hours after it happened. She always thinks she is in trouble and starts crying because she doesnt mean to be bad she tells me. She tells me she just want to help the other kids or she was doing it because she was done with her work and it breaks my heart cause I want to teach her without it seeming like a punishment.

I am trying to figure out help for how do i teach her without it seeming like a punishment..

I see, you know your daughter best... She also may be pulling the wool over your eyes

It was suggested to us to have my daughter skip Kinder and then Grade 1.. I thought she was academically ready (no doubt), but not socially... I told the school as much over and over.. She was Miss Chatty Kathy.. ALWAYS.. (STILL IS at 15).... I don't regret the decision one bit.. She is in a private school in Grade 10, on the honor roll, and doing amazing.. I always thought that a lot of these kids are not all socially ready, even though their brains may be.

 

[Bellanota]

We have a supposedly gifted kindergartner.

Mother admits that teachers say she is a discipline problem and have asked Mom to work on discipline.

Mom thinks it is because she is so gifted, not be a discipline problem.

The teachers have told Mom to work on the discipline to no avail. Why would Mom listen to the DISboards.

So, I just posted what I knew the Mom would want to hear. And I was right.

oh wow... i guess i wil go away now. Thanks for nothing. I was looking for ideas. One was given so I took it down.. another one was given I took it down...

My kid is not perfect. She gets in trouble just like every other kid and she gets punished, but three months in and we are banging our head on the wall and the school is suggesting ADD and I was looking for a fresh view. She is ahead not because she is gifted but because I have worked very hard with her from age two to get her where she is... she is not curing cancer she is counting and spelling.. something the rest of them will be doing soon...

But if this is a bitter rude place. I will leave

 

[jackskellington01]

Your little girl reminds me of myself and my little one as well. The school system where I live no longer allows children to be moved to higher grades. I know a previous poster suggested moving her to first grade, not sure if your school system allows that. My little one was the same way. The only problems I had were listening skills/following directions. She is now in 4th grade and has grown out of it. I think in time your little one will do the same. I too was advanced as a young child. I graduated high school when I was 16. Looking back now I don't recommend it. They pushed me ahead because like your dd I was advanced. My parents weren't sure but the teachers said my work was up there. Unfortunately as you get older your maturity level isn't. I noticed a big difference in high school. It was hard when everyone was driving and I felt like I was the only one who wasn't lol. I would just continue doing what your doing with your daughter. You seem to be doing a great job. I used to just stress with my daughter at night how important it was for her to remain focused and listen to what the teacher was saying and what she needed to do. But honestly in all worked out. I think she will do the same.

 

[Southernmiss]

no your misunderstanding me... i want to teach her to sit and listen, but its hard for me to get that across to her when we are talking about it hours and hours after it happened. She always thinks she is in trouble and starts crying because she doesnt mean to be bad she tells me. She tells me she just want to help the other kids or she was doing it because she was done with her work and it breaks my heart cause I want to teach her without it seeming like a punishment.

I am trying to figure out help for how do i teach her without it seeming like a punishment..

Well isn't she in trouble with the teacher for disrupting the teacher? A few tears at this point are ok to me and tells me that she is beginning to understand that her behavior is not acceptable.

I wouldn't have a consequence at home at this point for her school behavior. But i would tell her that she is to behave at school so she doesn't get in trouble with the teacher. And then have a reward at home after a week of good days--go for ice cream or something.

 

[TaylorEar]

I would request a conference with her teacher and talk about the possibility of providing her with enrichment activities that can be completed after her normal work is completed. You could also partner up on some sort of individualized behavior plan that would provide her with incentives to stay on task during class (a new book of her choice, an art kit, etc). The teacher may also look into allowing your daughter to be a "special helper" throughout the day (passing out materials, collecting papers, being the trash monitor) if she is able to stay on task for assignments and not bother her peers. Frankly, any decent teacher should understand the various levels of ability that exist within a kindergarten class and should implement differentiated teaching and classroom management strategies that would allow all students to remain engaged.

 

[StirlingSilver83]

My son has been going through this since he started kindergarten. He is extremely gifted. He taught himself how to multiply and divide when he was in kindergarten. He was also getting bored and getting in trouble. He does have adhd and has a hard time sitting still. We just started him on meds which helps a lot for it. He's in second grade now and his teacher in young and very accommodating and understands what he's going through. She made him a schedule so he knows what's expected of him for the day. She also made him a finished work work book. He always finishes his work a good 10 minutes before his classmates so he has a workbook to work on while he's done or she lets him read a book while they wait for the other kids.

It's very draining on me as a parent to deal with his giftedness bc he always keeps me on my toes lol. But he does have a problem with perfection. He tries to be perfect in everything he does and most things come easy for him. We are having another issue with him bc things to come easy for him that when something is not easy he gets extremely frustrated. Like this weekend we were trying to teach him how to ride a two wheel bike and he was having trouble and got extremely frustrated and now he doesn't want to ride his bike anymore bc he couldn't ride the two wheeler in the first 5 minutes that we took the training wheels off.

Anyways I am getting a little off topic lol. You need to have a conference with your child's teacher, principal, guidance counselor, and bring in the child study team. Everyone needs to be on the same page. Explain your issues and let them know your child needs structure and more work for her to do. The reason I say bring in the child study team is bc with them in your corner they can help advocate for your child. In other words u can talk to your teacher and she may not be agreeable to your solutions (I've had that problem before) the child study team will come in and basically say the teacher has to do it no questions asked. It's good to have other people in your corner then u don't feel like it's u against the whole school district lol

 

[Lolsmum]

Isn't Kindergarten partly about learning how to behave at school, including listening and following directions?

If you think she is mature enough, maybe you could explain to her that listening and following directions is what she needs to be working on, since she knows the other stuff. That depends on the kid though. My son would have been great at taking on that challenge if I presented it as his special work in school. My daughter, not so much.

I think it is easy to assume this kind of behaviour comes from boredom, but that may not be the issue at all. I volunteer with our school's youngest class (we start a year younger, so most of them are still 4). One of the biggest issues for the start of the year is teaching the basic rules of school behaviour. The kids tend to pick them up at different rates, which seem to have little to do with their ability academically.

Like one of the previous posters, I graduated from high school at 16. I don't generally recommend moving children up unless no other accommodations can be made. The maturity gap does actually seem to widen as you get older and not having a learner's permit when everyone else can drive, or being told you can't date until 15 when that means being unable to date until a year or so after your friends is hard.

You said she is the oldest in the class with a December birthday. That surprises me, as so many kids at the younger end seem to be held back before starting K now. If the class above her has many, she could well be even younger compared to those children than she would seem to be. Very few kids were held back when I was a kid, but with a June birthday I did end up 19 months younger than my still best friend. That's a meaningless gap now (well, except when she turned 40 of course) but it was a lot bigger when we were younger.

 

[aprilgail2]

The teacher should be talked to about providing more appropriate work for your child. If your child was special needs they work around what they can do and provide appropriate work for them (as it should be!) but they should also provide work for kids who are working above the "common core".

 

[lauradis]

oh wow... i guess i wil go away now. Thanks for nothing. I was looking for ideas. One was given so I took it down.. another one was given I took it down... My kid is not perfect. She gets in trouble just like every other kid and she gets punished, but three months in and we are banging our head on the wall and the school is suggesting ADD and I was looking for a fresh view. She is ahead not because she is gifted but because I have worked very hard with her from age two to get her where she is... she is not curing cancer she is counting and spelling.. something the rest of them will be doing soon... But if this is a bitter rude place. I will leave

This is the disboard we can be really bratty, bullies, outside of helping with Disney information.

Just ignore them.

Pre-k and kindergarten is the place most children learn to follow simple directs and conform socially to classroom settings.

Plenty of children go to kindergarten advanced.

The teacher needs to set up a positive reward plan.

Have you talked to the school counselor?

Plus most cities have mental health agencies that can point you in the right direction for individual behavior counseling, if the school can't or wouldn't correct her issue.

Now here is some motherly love, she sounds like an only child, which means she would be more advance in the academic area, but less in the social dept. it's not a bad thing she just needs to learn more social conformity.

Good luck isn't school fun!

 

[Shmily1]

I had this issue with my DS too. I talked to the teacher a few times (her excuse was that she had to let the slower kids catch up so he just had to sit and wait for them to get there) and got no where so I went to the principal. He moved DS to a different class where the teacher would challenge him and things were great. He was always put in the challenging classes after that and we had no more issues. He will have finished his masters in a few months. Hang in there and thank you for your service.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

She does sound gifted, but really? Even if she doesn't listen? Seems Mom, here you don't understand the difference between punishing and teaching her to listen to the teacher... In my opinion anyway..

Sending her up won't help that if you don't teach it, to help the teacher.. She may be bored, but she still needs to listen.

Exactly!!!