Tree's for "needy" kids

[Cindy B]

Also look to the ARC for a great place to give. The limit is $25. They handle mentally challenged people of all ages living in homes. On year we had a 30ish male ask for black sweatpants and a 70ish women ask for a house coat.

My church does an angel tree for adult Latino males that work in local farming areas. The criteria for the tree was not unreasonable-- an adult sweatshirt (we bought a hoodie), a note pad, a pen, a pair of socks, a pair of gloves and for a treat- a small bag of M and M's candy.

The females in the group asked for gift certificates for two local grocery stores any denomination.

I know these adults work outside regardless of the weather, so we got the hoodie and gloves for them.

I found this angel tree to be great because I knew it was going to good use if that makes any sense.

 

[barkley]

not to burst anyone's bubble or discourage you from participating but-by and large the names on these trees are made up and the 'wishes' are those items the organization feels will be most likely requested by children. now this does not apply to all of the 'giving trees' out there (and i doubt any of the organizations i am familiar with would list ipods, designer bags or other high ticket items) but those that work with social services agencies are prohibited by law to use the real names of recipients, and often though the applications for these programs go out in october, the selection process for families takes place long after the 'wish tags' have to be prepared for the trees. also-realisticly, if the groups used real info. on the tags and someone bought something for 1 child in a family but the other's tags were not selected it would result in a very difficult situation, so they create tags for the usual ages/sexes of children they serve-all go into a 'pot' and the volunteer group creates christmas packages that meet the needs of the families. actual request forms for these programs do not generaly even have an area for 'wishes' from the kids-they don't want to set up a situation where a child sees that 'santa' provided his siblings 'wish' but not his own. about the only info. the forms take (beyond income) is ages, sex, sizes of kids.

personaly i would steer away from any 'giving tree' that lists high end 'wishes' it does'nt sound like they are working in the kids best interest (our volunteer groups discouraged any donations of electronics because batteries, cds, music downloads, video games and the like were not in the budgets for the recipient's parents-so they had very limited usability).

 

[chyam]

I have to agree with you.........we have one at work, and the requests have become so expensive that I have noticed that not many tags have been taken off of it this year, requests for gold chains, ipods, playstations and even bikes. What ever happened to girl or boy age so and so? Some of them want video games and I am thinking these kids are needy and they have video games. Last year the one I got asked for a Barbie playhouse, $90.00 worth! Had to turn hers back in and get another one.

 

[dustysky]

I've worked one of those trees.

They tell the children to write down what they want from Santa Claus. Since Santa can do anything, the kids honestly write down what they want.

Are you saying that there are THAT MANY 15, 16 and 17 year old kids that still believe in santa?? Those are some of the ages I saw.

 

[dustysky]

My dh and I have been adopting a Christmas family for years but we have certain criteria that the family must have in order for us to "sponsor them".

First off, one of the parents must work or be a single parent of pre-school age children.

When we sponsor a family we pay for not only their Christmas but for the entire years worth of expenses, including clothes, books and toys with the understanding that they help another family as soon as they are able.

We find that the families that are truly willing to help themselves out of their situation do not ask for 300.00 to 400.00 dollar gifts/toys but ask for help in regards to their education or other bills.

You clearly have more cash then the average person if you can afford to do that and I think it is great that you are so willing to help. But I do have to ask you, do you get involved in these familys lives, do you follow the progress and or the end result?

 

[lewdyan1]

Another nice place to give is the local Veterans Hospital. My daughters girl scout troop made fleece blankets and wrapped them with toiletries for the patients. This is a group I hate to forget at this time of the year.

As for kids, a friend of my mom's runs a foster care program and asked for $25.00 GC for Target or Walmart and gives these to the older teens. My husbands office has a tree and he pulled one young child and one teenager for me to shop for. I believe it is child specific as I have gotten the same teenager for two years (my DH picks her because she requests scrapbooking supplies, my favorite thing!).

 

[jipsy]

I would like to know what the opinion is here on the Dis about the Christmas tree's that you see in most stores and restaurants. They have a lots of tags on them with ages of kids and there request for gifts.
We do not have much for money but often the years that I could I have taken a tag and gotten gift for a child off those tree's.
This year every tree I have looked at has requests for HUGE gifts. Just an example, one tree alone had requests for Ipods, PS3's, $60.00 video games, etc.
I guess maybe its me but I think those gifts are a bit much to ask from perfect strangers.

Don't get me wrong, I understand NEED, we have been in many different situations in our life. I still can not imagine asking for that type gift in that way (needy family application).

What's your take on this? Do you think its no big deal to ask for such gifts??

I guess I think differently. Christmas is a time of hope. Don't your own children put down things on their Christmas list that they want, but you don't get them? I used to put a pony on my list for years, but I never got one. Hell, I'm 44 and I still want a horse LOL.

I just don't see anything wrong with it. Most of the ones that list IPODS, etc. also have other items on them that the child wants. It's Christmas! Pull the name off the tree, get the kid what you want to get him or her and enjoy the feeling of giving. Quit worrying about kids not understanding that they are "needy". Just because they are "needy" doesn't mean they can't ask for the same things other kids ask for. Kids are kids; they don't think like adults do, even at 15 or 17.

 

[golfgal]

I was on the board for our local toy drive in our old town and we saw plenty of abuse of the system but MOST of the people were really needy. We did not take high priced items. If someone donated something like an IPOD we would return it to the store and use the money to buy a lot of smaller gifts. I do have to say that it is somewhat disheartening to see people pick up gifts with their kids in tow and then as soon as you put them in the car the kids are ripping the paper off and saying things like "this is stupid". It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen.

Our church here had a giving tree and I was thinking "great, I can get involved in that" until they said to include a gift receipt with your donation. I know what is going to happen to a good number of those gifts, they will go back to the store before the kid ever sees them and mom or dad will take the money for whatever else. It is really sad to say, but it DOES happen. We would X out the UPC codes on all our gifts so they couldn't be returned. Sad that we had to do that, but that is how it goes.

Also, if you have more then one toy drive type thing, angel tree, etc. in your area, chances are they are the same people who are getting from each, just an FYI. Again, there are plenty of needy people out there and those asking for blankets, simple clothing etc are probably truly needy but the kids asking for IPODS wouldn't be asking for those if they didn't have clothes to wear to school, etc.

 

[dustysky]

I guess I think differently. Christmas is a time of hope. Don't your own children put down things on their Christmas list that they want, but you don't get them? I used to put a pony on my list for years, but I never got one. Hell, I'm 44 and I still want a horse LOL.

I just don't see anything wrong with it. Most of the ones that list IPODS, etc. also have other items on them that the child wants. It's Christmas! Pull the name off the tree, get the kid what you want to get him or her and enjoy the feeling of giving. Quit worrying about kids not understanding that they are "needy". Just because they are "needy" doesn't mean they can't ask for the same things other kids ask for. Kids are kids; they don't think like adults do, even at 15 or 17.

I know for a fact that those forms are filled out BY the PARENTS not the children. Yes my kids ask for things they will not get, my son wants a PS3 as much as the kids / "parent" on those trees and he will not get one. That still does not mean it is justified to be asking for the kind of gift that most adults can not even buy for themselves. (i do not have an ipod)

 

[ducklite]

This year we didn't pick off a tree, instead we're just donating cash and some toys to our local fire department's "Toys-For-Tots" drive.

Last year we took some names off a tree:

An infant girl who needed warm clothes, especially fleece sleepers. We also included some sort of stuffed toy.

A six year old boy who needed jeans (no brand specified) with the extra tough knees. We also bought him a couple of toys, I can't recall what, I think a small Lego's set and some Matchbox cars.

A 23 year old mom who needed warm gloves and would like "some nice smelling body lotion." We bought a set that had lotions and bath gels in half a dozen different scents from Target or Kohls, and a pair of lined polar fleece gloves.

An elderly man who needed a non-stick fry pan. We bought a set of three plus threw in a set of silicone spatulas and a hot mitt.

To me, those were items that people NEED. (OK, the body lotion wasn't a need, but because no specific expensive brand name was specified, we didn't have a problem with it--it is Christmas after all.) IMHO, people asking for clothes like fleece sleepers, gloves, and no-name jeans, or something as basic as a non-stick fry pan are people who are obviously truly in need.

But video games? iPods? I don't think so.

Anne

 

[Hedy]

I guess I think differently. Christmas is a time of hope. Don't your own children put down things on their Christmas list that they want, but you don't get them? I used to put a pony on my list for years, but I never got one. Hell, I'm 44 and I still want a horse LOL.

I just don't see anything wrong with it. Most of the ones that list IPODS, etc. also have other items on them that the child wants. It's Christmas! Pull the name off the tree, get the kid what you want to get him or her and enjoy the feeling of giving. Quit worrying about kids not understanding that they are "needy". Just because they are "needy" doesn't mean they can't ask for the same things other kids ask for. Kids are kids; they don't think like adults do, even at 15 or 17.

Agreed. They're kids. Why not put down a DS? Somebody *might* get it for you.

 

[Missy Mouse]

We had a tree at work that had names on it. A total of about 10 families or 50 tags (small workplace). Our Dept took and entire family to do. Mom, Dad and 2 sons. Each tag has a spot for sizes and wants:

Shirt
Pants
Shoes
Jacket
Toy

Our family was very frugal with what they asked for, but the fathers tag was really odd. His pant size was listed as 36x34. His shoe size was listed as 6.5 and he requested warm work boot type of shoe. We thought a 6.5 size was very small for a grown man so we had our HR dept call to verfiy since we did not know who they were.

When HR called, the man got very quiet then started to cry. He said he lied on his tag and were they going to not donate to his family? and he was very sorry.

HR asked why he lied and just asked for his correct size and that we would still donate and not to be upset.

He lied because his oldest son needed sneakers for gym and asked for those on his tag so he was asking for warm boots for his son to wear to walk to school. He asked for a size anda half bigger than the child took so he could wear extra socks this year and get 2 years out of them with any luck and maybe the other son could grown into them too.

Needless to say, the kid got sneakers, snow boots(for play) and work boots (to walk to school) and we got dad his own sneakers and boots. We made sure that family had a very good Christmas.

It brings tears to my eyes even now thinking of how the dad was more worried about his sons feet than his own.

Brought tears to my eyes too

 

[Stitchfans]

Wow. the tree at our church had a list with items like mittens, hats, scarves, puzzles, books. Much more affordable items. The child I chose wanted warm clothes and matching mittens, hat, scarf. I added a cute doll in there since she was so practical. Some kids -

 

[EthansMom]

I'm another person who enjoys buying for the "Angel Tree". DS's school is sponsoring a family this year, a mom and her two young children. All of the requests were quite reasonable (clothes, toiletries, simple toys). We bought a set of wooden blocks and an electronic learning toy (with extra batteries) for the 18 month old girl. I'll check back closer to the "need-by date" to see if there are any gaps that need to be filled in.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I guess I think differently. Christmas is a time of hope. Don't your own children put down things on their Christmas list that they want, but you don't get them? I used to put a pony on my list for years, but I never got one. Hell, I'm 44 and I still want a horse LOL.

I just don't see anything wrong with it. Most of the ones that list IPODS, etc. also have other items on them that the child wants. It's Christmas! Pull the name off the tree, get the kid what you want to get him or her and enjoy the feeling of giving. Quit worrying about kids not understanding that they are "needy". Just because they are "needy" doesn't mean they can't ask for the same things other kids ask for. Kids are kids; they don't think like adults do, even at 15 or 17.

Hope does not equal expensive gifts. Hope is spiritual not materialistic.

You can put on an IPOD but when every other gift listed included - expensive brand name clothes, laptops, ps3s, wiis etc than that is not hope that is greed. The IPOD is cheap compared to the other things that you need for it - computer, CDs and ITUNEs. When you need help the gift needs to be able to be used now and in the future with no added costs (batteries come to mind here). I love to give to those who appreciate what they get but the greedy get exactly what they deserve - nothing. This has nothing to do with being poor or rich.

 

[dustysky]

Hope does not equal expensive gifts. Hope is spiritual not materialistic.

You can put on an IPOD but when every other gift listed included - expensive brand name clothes, laptops, ps3s, wiis etc than that is not hope that is greed. The IPOD is cheap compared to the other things that you need for it - computer, CDs and ITUNEs. When you need help the gift needs to be able to be used now and in the future with no added costs (batteries come to mind here). I love to give to those who appreciate what they get but the greedy get exactly what they deserve - nothing. This has nothing to do with being poor or rich.

Well put

 

[chobie]

Hope does not equal expensive gifts. Hope is spiritual not materialistic.

You can put on an IPOD but when every other gift listed included - expensive brand name clothes, laptops, ps3s, wiis etc than that is not hope that is greed. The IPOD is cheap compared to the other things that you need for it - computer, CDs and ITUNEs. When you need help the gift needs to be able to be used now and in the future with no added costs (batteries come to mind here). I love to give to those who appreciate what they get but the greedy get exactly what they deserve - nothing. This has nothing to do with being poor or rich.

Greedy seems a bit strong to me. Most of these teens have had horrible lives -in an out of foster care, untold abuse, parents in prison etc. I can't blame them for asking. It seems a bit Dickensian to say because they are poor they should only be asking for a bowl of gruel.

However, to be fair, I'm not going to go out an buy a more expensive gift for someone else's kid then I will for my own. But if I could afford to get that , and I knew the source for the Angel tree was repuditable and not a scam, I would do it.

I have seen some of these teens who have had rotten lives and I'm willing to bet that a random act of kindness of someone buying them an expensive gift might help some of them to be motivated to give back to society some day and return that act of kindness. Yes, it is also kind to give anything, be it second helping of gruel or an IPOD, I'm not belittling those (including myself) who choose to give the lesser expensive asked for gifts, but I think greedy is a bit harsh. JMHO.

I just have a problem with lableing kids as greedy because maybe just once in their life they want something nice.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Greedy seems a bit strong to me. Most of these teens have had horrible lives -in an out of foster care, untold abuse, parents in prison etc. I can't blame them for asking. It seems a bit Dickensian to say because they are poor they should only be asking for a bowl of gruel.

However, to be fair, I'm not going to go out an buy a more expensive gift for someone else's kid then I will for my own. But if I could afford to get that , and I knew the source for the Angel tree was repuditable and not a scam, I would do it.

I have seen some of these teens who have had rotten lives and I'm willing to bet that a random act of kindness of someone buying them an expensive gift might help some of them to be motivated to give back to society some day and return that act of kindness. Yes, it is also kind to give anything, be it second helping of gruel or an IPOD, I'm not belittling those (including myself) who choose to give the lesser expensive asked for gifts, but I think greedy is a bit harsh. JMHO.

I just have a problem with lableing kids as greedy because maybe just once in their life they want something nice.

Sorry it is GREED when there are only expensive gifts listed.

 

[chobie]

Sorry it is GREED when there are only expensive gifts listed.

Not in my eyes. Sorry is what many of these teens lives have been.

 

[MushyMushy]

Sorry it is GREED when there are only expensive gifts listed.

But they're still just KIDS.

All they want is to be like everybody else in their classes and fit in. Granted, everybody might not have an iPod, but it can sure seem like it to a kid with very little.

I don't see a problem with them asking for something out of reach, but there should be an adult there helping them so they can put something they're really hoping for and something more reasonable. That's what I do with my own kids. I would never dream of calling them greedy if they ask for something out of reach.