Tree's for "needy" kids

[xyzabc33]

not to burst anyone's bubble or discourage you from participating but-by and large the names on these trees are made up and the 'wishes' are those items the organization feels will be most likely requested by children. now this does not apply to all of the 'giving trees' out there (and i doubt any of the organizations i am familiar with would list ipods, designer bags or other high ticket items) but those that work with social services agencies are prohibited by law to use the real names of recipients, and often though the applications for these programs go out in october, the selection process for families takes place long after the 'wish tags' have to be prepared for the trees. also-realisticly, if the groups used real info. on the tags and someone bought something for 1 child in a family but the other's tags were not selected it would result in a very difficult situation, so they create tags for the usual ages/sexes of children they serve-all go into a 'pot' and the volunteer group creates christmas packages that meet the needs of the families. actual request forms for these programs do not generaly even have an area for 'wishes' from the kids-they don't want to set up a situation where a child sees that 'santa' provided his siblings 'wish' but not his own. about the only info. the forms take (beyond income) is ages, sex, sizes of kids.

personaly i would steer away from any 'giving tree' that lists high end 'wishes' it does'nt sound like they are working in the kids best interest (our volunteer groups discouraged any donations of electronics because batteries, cds, music downloads, video games and the like were not in the budgets for the recipient's parents-so they had very limited usability).

I have to disagree with you on the fact that you are not discouraging anyone from donating....that is EXACTLY what you are doing by telling ppl the kids listed on the tree are made up. Each organization does things differently, yes, but in all the times I have had to ask for help in different areas, I have never seen ONE organization make them up just to get gifts for the kids. That makes it sound like the organization is just out to get money and gifts. NOT TRUE....any legitimate and smart agency will not make up names. True I have heard of them taking back higher end items to have enuf funds to cover those children who were not picked, so they will at least get some sort of gift, but never have I heard them making up false names.

Also true that they are not allowed (at least in PA) to actually list the last names on the tickets on the tree. They usually have written on the tag -gender and age, sizes and wants. I have seen just the childs first name on tags also if the giver wishes to get something personalized. This does differ in some places and with different organizations, so it not a cut and dried answer.

Yes they do sometimes create gift packages for the children but this also differs according to how many volunteers and funding the agency has, but they do not just "create" tags based on what they think they have that year. The applications, you spoke about are usually done on an income basis and the person signing up knows immediately whether they will be eligible or not, so they agency can have an actual count at the end of the day and not just make a guess ---"lets see I think we will have 6 girls age 8 1/2 this year" It just doesnt work like that. What happens if they get 6 boys age 4 that year instead. This is exactly why the agency has a sign up so they know how many they will have in that year.

AGAIN, each agency differs in what they ask for on the apps. The smarter ones will put the gift request on so they are not wasting their funding, but they do tell the parents WHO DO THE SIGNING UP_NOT THE CHILD (or have a guardian there to help them-a 10 year old does not just walk in off the street and say " hey I want my name on a tree") that there is no guarantee that is exactly what they will get. It is a request and nothing more. Those tickets that have $2000 purses and fancy electronics are those that the volunteers either do not understand what those items are(locally they are seniors) and do not tell the parents that it is highly unlikely that the child will get that item or the parents are just greedy and want something unobtainable for their kid, or the kid has asked the parent for that item and the parent is not even aware that it cost that much(yes some ppl are just dense in that aspect) Please do not assume that everyone is greedy
We were eligible to sign up this year and chose not to because we felt our DD would have enuf and that there were kids who needed it more. Nor would I ever ask a stranger to buy something that high end and frivolous for my family.

NOW BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL THREAD..........
I do have say that I was going to pick a name off the tree in our local Walmart but couldnt afford what those kids wanted. Instead I will donate some nice stuffed animals and books that they can suppliment the gifts with.(all new looking of course) I am going to try to go help at the SA to help bag if my DD will let me have a day to myself

 

[mickeyfan2]

Greedy seems a bit strong to me. Most of these teens have had horrible lives -in an out of foster care, untold abuse, parents in prison etc. I can't blame them for asking. It seems a bit Dickensian to say because they are poor they should only be asking for a bowl of gruel.

So you equate new winter coats with gruel?

However, to be fair, I'm not going to go out an buy a more expensive gift for someone else's kid then I will for my own. But if I could afford to get that , and I knew the source for the Angel tree was repuditable and not a scam, I would do it.

Why not just spend all of your Christmas money on these kids, since they deserve it so much more than the ones the money is slated for?

I have seen some of these teens who have had rotten lives and I'm willing to bet that a random act of kindness of someone buying them an expensive gift might help some of them to be motivated to give back to society some day and return that act of kindness. Yes, it is also kind to give anything, be it second helping of gruel or an IPOD, I'm not belittling those (including myself) who choose to give the lesser expensive asked for gifts, but I think greedy is a bit harsh. JMHO.

You seem to know more about the unknown name on a tree than the rest of us.

I just have a problem with lableing kids as greedy because maybe just once in their life they want something nice.

How do you know it is once in a lifetime? Maybe they do this every year and on multiple trees each year.

See the kid with 6 new winter coats above and you will see greed. They could careless about the other 5 kids who did not get a coat that they took but did not need.

 

[mickeyfan2]

But they're still just KIDS.

All they want is to be like everybody else in their classes and fit in. Granted, everybody might not have an iPod, but it can sure seem like it to a kid with very little.

I don't see a problem with them asking for something out of reach, but there should be an adult there helping them so they can put something they're really hoping for and something more reasonable. That's what I do with my own kids. I would never dream of calling them greedy if they ask for something out of reach.

The problem is that everything listed was out of reach. Nothing was reasonable. This is greed and nothing less. Sorry but a 17 year old is not a kid. I had a job by then and was buying all of my clothes since I started to babysit at 13. My name never appeared on an angel tree so I could have what others had and I didnot.

I have no problem if they said IPOD, winter coat, backpack, CD etc. The problem is that list was so over the top we got her nothing. Back on the tree she went.

 

[shortbun]

I guess I think differently. Christmas is a time of hope. Don't your own children put down things on their Christmas list that they want, but you don't get them? I used to put a pony on my list for years, but I never got one. Hell, I'm 44 and I still want a horse LOL.

I just don't see anything wrong with it. Most of the ones that list IPODS, etc. also have other items on them that the child wants. It's Christmas! Pull the name off the tree, get the kid what you want to get him or her and enjoy the feeling of giving. Quit worrying about kids not understanding that they are "needy". Just because they are "needy" doesn't mean they can't ask for the same things other kids ask for. Kids are kids; they don't think like adults do, even at 15 or 17.

Exactly! They are children and why do some people want them to feel depressed and down and out with the reality of their circumstances? How awful!!! If they can't have hope for something big as children, when can they?

 

[xyzabc33]

Hope is fine, but like I said most organizations will tell the ADULT signing up that the request is not guaranteed.

 

[chobie]

So you equate new winter coats with gruel?


Why not just spend all of your Christmas money on these kids, since they deserve it so much more than the ones the money is slated for?


You seem to know more about the unknown name on a tree than the rest of us.


How do you know it is once in a lifetime? Maybe they do this every year and on multiple trees each year.

See the kid with 6 new winter coats above and you will see greed. They could careless about the other 5 kids who did not get a coat that they took but did not need.

Actaully you are the one who said these kids were greedy period so you are the one who seems to know more about all these kids then I am proclaiming to know.

I'm merely giving them the benefit of the doubt.

And I'll make a deal with you. I'll give all my Christmas money to the kids who you have decided are greedy and you give all your money to the kids you have decided are worthy of a gift because they only asked for cheap stuff.

 

[chobie]

Exactly! They are children and why do some people want them to feel depressed and down and out with the reality of their circumstances? How awful!!! If they can't have hope for something big as children, when can they?

They can have gruel. But no second helping on that gruel!

 

[Tim Gunn]

I noticed a while back that the requests on those angel trees had gotten outrageous - XBox Video Games, Computers, etc. I used to always pick out one or two angels and buy them some clothes and a toy but could never afford what all these kids requested. I asked the Salvation Army volunteer manning the tree booth what was up with these high dollar requests. She told me that they TELL the children to do that.. even ENCOURAGE the children to ask for these high dollar gifts because she said the people donating were too cheap.

Well, I can tell you that at least 2 kids a year stopped being picked by me to receive their clothes and cheap $40 toy. I just give it to Toys for Tots now.

 

[shortbun]

The problem is that everything listed was out of reach. Nothing was reasonable. This is greed and nothing less. Sorry but a 17 year old is not a kid. I had a job by then and was buying all of my clothes since I started to babysit at 13. My name never appeared on an angel tree so I could have what others had and I didnot.

I have no problem if they said IPOD, winter coat, backpack, CD etc. The problem is that list was so over the top we got her nothing. Back on the tree she went.

I'm sorry your name never appeared on an angel tree. Do you want to put it on one now and get a gift? How about asking for hope and unconditional love for humanity? That's what I ask for every year. Oh, and I include peace too! BTW, I've pulled a family from one tree and individual gifts from two others. NONE of the request I got or saw were over the top or even close to it. Our shopping is done and the gifts are wrapped and labled. Our school sponsored another family. We bought them all coats and linenes, the kids each got a few toys and books. We are taking them several bags of groceries. These are the things they asked for. Greedy? More like basic needs.

 

[shortbun]

They can have gruel. But no second helping on that gruel!

LOl! I WAS thinking Dickens while I read this thread. Holiday joy abounds!

 

[chobie]

And oh yeah, I had my poverty years as a child too. Lived in a camper with 5 other family members in a campground as a child. Food stamps and free luch. BTDT. No I was never on an angel tree either and I started babysitting at 12 and had to buy all my own school clothes from that money.

So, I am allowed to have the opinon that those kids are not being greedy, just hopefule just as others are allowed to have the opposite opinion.

 

[chobie]

LOl! I WAS thinking Dickens while I read this thread. Holiday joy abounds!

Yeah, maybe we should just throw these greedy children into the debtors prison.

Sheesh, if you don't want to or can't buy an ipod for a poor child then don't. nobody will think ill of you. But you don't have to project nefarious intentions on these children.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I'm sorry your name never appeared on an angel tree. Do you want to put it on one now and get a gift?

Exaggerate much?

How about asking for hope and unconditional love for humanity? That's what I ask for every year. Oh, and I include peace too!

So now you know exactly what I would ask for and it was obviously selfish.

BTW, I've pulled a family from one tree and individual gifts from two others. NONE of the request I got or saw were over the top or even close to it. Our shopping is done and the gifts are wrapped and labled. Our school sponsored another family. We bought them all coats and linenes, the kids each got a few toys and books. We are taking them several bags of groceries. These are the things they asked for. Greedy? More like basic needs.

So you only want them to get gruel just like Chobie was suggesting. BTW you are agreeing with me here. They can ask for expensive items and needs, but only greedy wants is way over the top.

I am so glad that you did this. BTW Did you miss our AAF, CI daughter etc that we do each year? I will be getting our CI daughter her IPOD but first she needs a computer and other things. She does get CDs from us, so when she gets it she will have everything that she needs to use it first.


What a great Christmas it would be for the needy to all get the IPOD they wanted but then find out they could not actually use it, since they have no computer, CDs or internet connection. Now that would really take away the hope.

 

[snowwite]

We adopt a family through Dept Social Services each year. The social worker gets a list from the parent and from speaking with kids. The kids dont know we "adopt" them or where the gifts come from. We make every effort to get what they want. We also get them two pair warm pajamas,jacket,heat,mittens,slippers,2 outfits and if the kids are older boeard games etc.Larger gifts are split. For ex we had a family several yrs ago with 3 teen boys who wanted video games. The social worker told me they dont have a tv so dont get them. we ended up getting a used tv,Playstation and games donated. We bought controllers and new games as well as DVD's for family. we also collect non perishable food and gift certs to local grocery and movies. This yr the mom is a student.She asked for nothing but we are getting her a lap top because she needs one for school. People give what they can. We have always chosen two kids roughly same age as my own so they can help. We also donate clothing and toys they clean out of rooms before holidays.

 

[Hillbeans]

This was a huge pet peeve of mine also when our work started the "Angel Tree". There were requests for $75-$100 gifts. At least this year they seemed to get the message and they now have tailored the gifts to needy families who need things like sheets, pots and pans, blankets, gloves and mittens, etc.

I'm all for giving children presents at christmas, but what's wrong with a $15 board game? I think it's wrong of these places to ask people to give Ipod's and $60 video games.

 

[snowwite]

Hope does not equal expensive gifts. Hope is spiritual not materialistic.

You can put on an IPOD but when every other gift listed included - expensive brand name clothes, laptops, ps3s, wiis etc than that is not hope that is greed. The IPOD is cheap compared to the other things that you need for it - computer, CDs and ITUNEs. When you need help the gift needs to be able to be used now and in the future with no added costs (batteries come to mind here). I love to give to those who appreciate what they get but the greedy get exactly what they deserve - nothing. This has nothing to do with being poor or rich.

W ehave Angel tree in church.It is for kids who have a parent in jail. The kids are asked to list what they want MOST. For many kids that would be a high ticket item.If you cant afford it dont sign up to buy it.Maybe 3-4 people chip in and get it. All I am saying is these kids didnt do anything wrong and yet you want to punish them. We send a baked good,bible and a gift the parent can give the children. I usually add more than they asked for just to be nice. I dont think of kids being greedy because they dream of having something they know mom and dad cannot afford. You are also making a lot of assumptions and judging people. It is very possible someone has a PC fro before they lost thier job, thier spouse, thier health or thier home. In this economy most folks are only 2-3 paychecks away from serious trouble. I know if we went a month without pay we would be considered "needy" and if my kids still asked for what they want for Christmas you would call them greedy. I would call you mean.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would call you mean.

Personal attacks are not allowed.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Got a 3 year old little girl from an angel tree this year. She asked for a baby doll that you can change the diaper, doll stroller, play tent (had Dora with a ?), and some warm PJ's. We got it all for her plus extra doll diapers, diaper bag, and a baby doll outfit. I did not think the list was too much and DD had fun choosing things for her.

I started buying for angels in HS when an ex-boyfriends Mom was doing it. I used my own money and my sister would pitch in too. I do it in the spirit of the season. If someone takes my gifts and returns them or is taking advantage of others generosity it is on them.

 

[dementia412]

I think kids asing for Ipods and PSP's are too old to be on those trees... they are meant for little kids who need something from Santa! One year a church bought my kids toys, they asked what the kids would like, we said clothes for the baby, a football for my son, and a barbie doll for my older girl. I would never have thought to ask for large ticket items. Last year we bought for someone else. I was shocked by some of the things people asked for, but I kept looking until I found angels with more acceptable request... then bought them more than they asked for! A kid asking for mittens deserves more IMO.

One thing though.. computer does not equal no need... there is a program here that gives needy kids a computer to do homework on... lots of kids in the most have computers

 

[KerriSue]

My dh and I have been adopting a Christmas family for years but we have certain criteria that the family must have in order for us to "sponsor them".

First off, one of the parents must work or be a single parent of pre-school age children.

When we sponsor a family we pay for not only their Christmas but for the entire years worth of expenses, including clothes, books and toys with the understanding that they help another family as soon as they are able.

We find that the families that are truly willing to help themselves out of their situation do not ask for 300.00 to 400.00 dollar gifts/toys but ask for help in regards to their education or other bills.

WOW