Tonight's 20/20

[Social Worker Sue]

All that is fine, but don't go on TV and pretend you are Mother of the Year. Don't keep a blog about your terrific mothering skills and make disparaging remarks about your child with disabilities. No doubt you suck as a mother and human being if you choose to do these things and no doubt you will wind up being the topic of discussion on many messages boards.

Well said.

 

[Acklander]

All that is fine, but don't go on TV and pretend you are Mother of the Year. Don't keep a blog about your terrific mothering skills and make disparaging remarks about your child with disabilities. No doubt you suck as a mother and human being if you choose to do these things and no doubt you will wind up being the topic of discussion on many messages boards.

And don't confuse the ramblings of a mentally disturbed delusional person who thinks she's mother of the year as some type of reality beyond her own. In my town we used to have a man who would wander around with his pet rabbit talking about alternative universes with anyone who would listen. After the war in Iraq started he swapped over to wearing fatigues and talking about how he was a war hero. The town folks didn't call him out on it, or argue with each other over if he was really a war hero, or blame his delusions on the fact that every kid got a trophy. The TV station didn't do a story on how he thought he was a war hero and exploit his mental illness. No one got sucked into his stories, we just smiled and asked how the rabbit was doing.
This woman may think she's mother of the year, but I haven't heard anyone agreeing with her on that, just agreeing that it's probably a good think that she's not involved in her kids life.

 

[LSmith]

And don't confuse the ramblings of a mentally disturbed delusional person who thinks she's mother of the year as some type of reality beyond her own. In my town we used to have a man who would wander around with his pet rabbit talking about alternative universes with anyone who would listen. After the war in Iraq started he swapped over to wearing fatigues and talking about how he was a war hero. The town folks didn't call him out on it, or argue with each other over if he was really a war hero, or blame his delusions on the fact that every kid got a trophy. The TV station didn't do a story on how he thought he was a war hero and exploit his mental illness. No one got sucked into his stories, we just smiled and asked how the rabbit was doing.
This woman may think she's mother of the year, but I haven't heard anyone agreeing with her on that, just agreeing that it's probably a good think that she's not involved in her kids life.

Exactly. How else would one expect a mentally disturbed person to behave?

 

[JamesMom]

I haven't read all the posts beyond the first one, but my mother could have been on the show. I am her 5th child and my fathers (her 3rd husband) only child. She abandoned all of her first 4 kids at various times. Her 3rd child had mild autism and she flat out left her 2nd husband and other daughter when husband refused to have son institutionalized while her first 2 kids were living with her mother practically since birth. I did not learn of these half-siblings until my father died when I was 15. I grew up knowing my mom did not want me and how I interrupted her life. She even told me that being my fathers only was what saved me from being an abortion. Some women should have never had children. My eldest half brother and I definitely agree on that score. Growing up with that woman gives me stories that would make interesting reading. But years of therapy have enabled me to be a very different mom to my 2 sons. Thank God.

 

[LisaR]

And don't confuse the ramblings of a mentally disturbed delusional person who thinks she's mother of the year as some type of reality beyond her own. In my town we used to have a man who would wander around with his pet rabbit talking about alternative universes with anyone who would listen. After the war in Iraq started he swapped over to wearing fatigues and talking about how he was a war hero. The town folks didn't call him out on it, or argue with each other over if he was really a war hero, or blame his delusions on the fact that every kid got a trophy. The TV station didn't do a story on how he thought he was a war hero and exploit his mental illness. No one got sucked into his stories, we just smiled and asked how the rabbit was doing.
This woman may think she's mother of the year, but I haven't heard anyone agreeing with her on that, just agreeing that it's probably a good think that she's not involved in her kids life.

Well, we do have one poster on here who believes this woman is "courageous." There are others out there who are donating money to her which tells me they must support her. Maybe they are all mentally ill? Or maybe there are mothers out there who only wish they could be as "courageous" as this woman.

 

[Acklander]

Well, we do have one poster on here who believes this woman is "courageous." There are others out there who are donating money to her which tells me they must support her. Maybe they are all mentally ill? Or maybe there are mothers out there who only wish they could be as "courageous" as this woman.

People have their own motivations. I know a women who works for hours on end with the street people making sure they have blankets when it's cold and giving out a gazillion sandwiches. It's not that she thinks that the homeless are courageous or wishes she was living on the streets. It's because her mentally ill older brother disappeared after going off his meds. She hasn't seen him in years but hope he's safe somewhere being taken care of, just like she takes care of the people in her city. I don't think she will be able to make enough sandwiches to fill the void, but she tries anyway. Everyone has their issues, every one fights their demons in their own way.

 

[carissa1970]

I just went online to watch that episode. Craziness.

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[LSmith]

Mental illness is as real as cancer.

 

[ronandannette]

Mental illness is as real as cancer.

No question. But none of the people in the interviews admit to suffering from it nor did they discuss seeking any treatment. They all described making lifestyle choices based on what was best for THEM. Their children are left with the emotional wounds (did you hear that little girl talking about the future "fantasy family" that she will have to compensate for her childhood?? What are her chances of ending up emotionally healthy?).

 

[Acklander]

No question. But none of the people in the interviews admit to suffering from it nor did they discuss seeking any treatment. They all described making lifestyle choices based on what was best for THEM. Their children are left with the emotional wounds (did you hear that little girl talking about the future "fantasy family" that she will have to compensate for her childhood?? What are her chances of ending up emotionally healthy?).

Given the hand she was dealt I don't think she ever had a chance of ending up emotionally healthy. Like I said previously, if it was a perfect world, the only children who would be born are those who are wanted and loved. We don't live in a perfect world.

 

[happygirl]

Well, we do have one poster on here who believes this woman is "courageous." There are others out there who are donating money to her which tells me they must support her. Maybe they are all mentally ill? Or maybe there are mothers out there who only wish they could be as "courageous" as this woman.

Why be so judgemental, you don't agree with this ladies choices. Ok so be it. You don't agree with my choice of words so be it. Move on to the next thread

 

[happygirl]

Well, we do have one poster on here who believes this woman is "courageous." There are others out there who are donating money to her which tells me they must support her. Maybe they are all mentally ill? Or maybe there are mothers out there who only wish they could be as "courageous" as this woman.

Please don't assume that if I don't agree with your view, that I'm mentally ill or wanting to run away from my kids.

 

[crashbb]

Well, we do have one poster on here who believes this woman is "courageous." There are others out there who are donating money to her which tells me they must support her. Maybe they are all mentally ill? Or maybe there are mothers out there who only wish they could be as "courageous" as this woman.

Perhaps the poster on here (I know which post you mean) didn't see the show? That's the only way I can make sense of her "courageous" comment or the idea that the choice was working for the families.

I didn't know about people donating money. What, exactly, are donating it for? Just for her living expenses?

Sadly, I'm sure that there are women out there who wish that they could drop responsibility for their children.

 

[okeydokey]

Not everyone who is selfish is mentally ill. Some are just awful people.

 

[carissa1970]

After discussing this with my husband, I've discovered that he believes it is okay for dads to leave the family after a divorce, but not moms. I'm trying to be patient and understand his double standard...

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[DVCJones]

Perhaps the poster on here (I know which post you mean) didn't see the show? That's the only way I can make sense of her "courageous" comment or the idea that the choice was working for the families.

I didn't know about people donating money. What, exactly, are donating it for? Just for her living expenses?

Sadly, I'm sure that there are women out there who wish that they could drop responsibility for their children.

They are donating money so she can go on a vacation with her 'soulmate'. In her blog, she also says she has stage 4 melanoma and needs this trip to find the cure.... It sound like some alternative spiritual type healing camp...

 

[mom2rtk]

I didn't see the show, but someone commented that the special needs child was being mostly taken care of now by his 13 year old sibling.

Surely nobody believes things are working out well for that 13 year old....... I don't need to watch the show to know that child's life is forever changed for the worse.

And don't give me a link to watch it online anywhere. It would make me too angry.

 

[mom2rtk]

They are donating money so she can go on a vacation with her 'soulmate'. In her blog, she also says she has stage 4 melanoma and needs this trip to find the cure.... It sound like some alternative spiritual type healing camp...

Well, that's awesome. When she finds the cure for stage 4 Melanoma, she'll be wealthy enough to support her kids again.

 

[carissa1970]

I didn't see the show, but someone commented that the special needs child was being mostly taken care of now by his 13 year old sibling.

Surely nobody believes things are working out well for that 13 year old....... I don't need to watch the show to know that child's life is forever changed for the worse.

And don't give me a link to watch it online anywhere. It would make me too angry.

After reading all these posts, I watched it, and I feel it wasn't nearly as bad as people are making it sound. I was surprised, but I wasn't as upset as I expected to be. Some of these posts are taking things out of context.

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[mom2rtk]

After reading all these posts, I watched it, and I feel it wasn't nearly as bad as people are making it sound. I was surprised, but I wasn't as upset as I expected to be. Some of these posts are taking things out of context.

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I'll still pass. I have pretty strong feelings about situations like this.