Tonight's 20/20

[LisaR]

Just finished watching and plan on saving it on the DVR. When the kids complain about our parenting, I'll make them watch that show. We are parents of the year compared to all of those idiots featured tonight. I truly can't decide which moron irritated me more.

 

[BlovesC]

Yes. She should have stayed nearby. That is what loving parents do.

But women who abandon their children aren't loving parents and don't wish to be. I'm scratching my head here; as a social worker, you should know the most dangerous person in a child's life is the parent who resents their existence. I didn't see the episode, but I can only assume (hope?) that these children are in better hands than they would have been being raised by a mother who didn't want them.

 

[LisaR]

But women who abandon their children aren't loving parents and don't wish to be. I'm scratching my head here; as a social worker, you should know the most dangerous person in a child's life is the parent who resents their existence. I didn't see the episode, but I can only assume (hope?) that these children are in better hands than they would have been being raised by a mother who didn't want them.

You're right, some people could be a danger to their children and it is certainly better if they aren't in their lives. My problem was the mom who left her children not because she was a danger to her kids, but simply because she wanted a better life for herself. She puts herself first every single time. As a SAHM, I know it is easier to lose ones identity sometimes. Most people in that situation get a job or a hobby instead of moving across the country so they can have more me time. She didn't move for a job. She didn't move because she would hurt her children. She moved because she was tired of the life she has created and decided to create a new one sans kids.

 

[S. C.]

And if the dad decides he has had enough and wants to move to the other side of the country to be with his soulmate and paint, then what do the kids do? Or is it now all his responsibility alone to raise these kids? Would that make him brave too?

 

[S. C.]

Wow...the DIS being judgemental. Who woulda thunk it??

First of all, they didn't abandon their kids. They realized that they wouldn't be the best parent/guardian for them and that their dads would. I find that brave. They still have contact with their kids and parent the best way they can. The kids are happy. They are happy.

If they were still with their spouses, bet you a million they would all be miserable! If they had gotten custody full or partial they would all be miserable. Who does that help??

One mom skypes all the time, good for her. SHould she see them more, maybe, but she has to do what works for her and them. The other mom sees her kids a few times a week. What is wrong with that??

Now my ex abandoned his kids. We split, I had the kids and I never saw him again, or received a dime or anything else. Now that is abandonment.

I do not find these moms disgusting, and letting other women know it is ok not to be perfect and that dads can take care of the kids isn't a bad thing. There are many women out there like them. Shame on those that judge then for their choices or anyones choices. Just because it isn't what you would choose for yourself doesn't make it wrong for someone else.

I do find them VERY disgusting and selfish to leave a child/ren for two years so she can be happy is disgusting. These children hurt bad when either parent leaves them.

 

[horseshowmom]

Here is the link to her excerpt about this beautiful little boy:

http://wildgoddesslife.com/support-groups-suck/

I read the blog and was amazed at the depth of her self-absorption and callousness.

I have a secret.

Well, it’s not really a secret. Anybody with half a brain can see that my son has Down syndrome. Of course, anybody with Down syndrome only has half a brain. Ba dum bum.

(I can tell those tasteless jokes because believe me, I have earned the right to.)



“He has Down syndrome.” ...
Not my baby. He was fine. A little small, but so what? I didn’t eat during the pregnancy, didn’t want to gain weight (didn’t want to be pregnant, but we’ll ignore that a moment). I wore my regular jeans buttoned below my baby-belly and everyone was so admiring of my svelte pregnant body. So he was fine. He looked just fine. He was fine.



He’s a boy who has given up. He can’t be more. He can only be Eric. And I wish I knew who Eric was. I think he incised it on my heart once, and sometimes I still feel the scars.

The longest she has gone without seeing her child with Down Syndrome is TWO YEARS And then she blogs things like "his blank stare" and "his short bus". She didn't see this child for 2 years. She has no right to exploit him on her blog.

I agree with this totally.

I do find them VERY disgusting and selfish to leave a child/ren for two years so she can be happy is disgusting. These children hurt bad when either parent leaves them.

If you read her blog, you'll see very quickly that she doesn't consider her child to be human as far as I can tell. I'm not sure what she thinks about the older two. Actually, I don't think she thinks about them much at all.


Oh, but wait, YOU can help her! As she says on her blog, Please help us through the Paypal button below or read other ways you can contribute here: Help Continue The Grand Love Story of Kahuna & Akua. Every amount helps. Thank you! Grrrr....

 

[luvwinnie]

I missed the show. Curious if her cancer was mentioned? Sorry, can't help but wonder if it's real. Always skeptical when people are that self centered and asking for money.

 

[DVCJones]

I saw the show and just read her blog. I do think the kids are better off without her. Can you imagine living with a woman so self-absorbed and selfish? ...as your MOTHER!!!? In her blog she mentions not eating during her pregnancy because she didn't want to gain weight. She talks about wearing he regular jeans under her belly and all the complement she received for looking good. This is clearly an early indication that she never put her kids first. Not even in pregnancy!!!

To the PP who thinks there is nothing wrong with her leaving her kids to be happy.... I think it is great she decided to leave her kids with their responsible father. BUT, not for one minute do I believe she did in the best interest of her children. (She is incapable) she did it in the best interest if herself!!! THAT is what is so disturbing!!!

 

[Social Worker Sue]

But women who abandon their children aren't loving parents and don't wish to be. I'm scratching my head here; as a social worker, you should know the most dangerous person in a child's life is the parent who resents their existence. I didn't see the episode, but I can only assume (hope?) that these children are in better hands than they would have been being raised by a mother who didn't want them.

As a social worker (and foster parent), I see first hand what selfish parents do to children. This woman had not one, but three children before she decided she wanted to spend her days doing "fun things". Simply, her children were holding her back from painting and hanging out with her boyfriend.

Yet, she went on TV saying that she loves her children. Just not as much as she loves herself

Adding: She claims this is good for the children. They should see her following her dreams. In the meanwhile, her 13 year old daughter has taken over the mothering role for the child with Down Syndrome.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

I missed the show. Curious if her cancer was mentioned? Sorry, can't help but wonder if it's real. Always skeptical when people are that self centered and asking for money.

The cancer was dx'd last year after the taping of the show. I though the same thing as you. She says it is melanoma and Stage 4 and she has had it for a year. But now she is "getting better".

She is taking Paypal donations via her blog. It is to help her get through her "rough time" with cancer.

If you read the latest blog, she thanks people for giving her money. She says she is going to take that money and go on vacation to Palm Springs She even says she is excited to see her boyfriend in vacation mode

 

[luvwinnie]

To my knowledge, stage 4 melanoma is not curable. I may have to keep an on this....

 

[luvwinnie]

I'd love to spend my day doing fun things too, but who would pay my mortgage, feed my pets, pay my medical insurance, wow.

 

[DVCJones]

I read more of her blog... Yikes!!!

She also said that she has FOUR children!!!

I read her blog entry about her decision to leave and the one she talks about being on 20/20 and how she thinks it will bring more people to her blog, book deals, etc. Really!!!?

 

[Social Worker Sue]

I read more of her blog... Yikes!!!

She also said that she has FOUR children!!!

I read her blog entry about her decision to leave and the one she talks about being on 20/20 and how she thinks it will bring more people to her blog, book deals, etc. Really!!!?

I read on the 20/20 comments page that her 4th child refused to be on the show. That she is severly depressed and troubled. So sad.

 

[Poohforyou]

But, I think most people think it is awful for a dad to abandon his family as well No parent (mom or dad) should ever go a year without seeing his or her child.

People get divorced every day. Moms and dads (good ones) stay close to their children. They spend time with them. They continue to be excellent parents in the face of divorce.

These women were saying "We don't want to see our children very often. We need to be happy and being with our kids does not make us happy"

I agree with you that it's awful. I can't fathom a mother doing that with the exception of her being unable to care for her children, not unwilling.

The point I was trying to make is that fathers do this kind of thing all the time so it isn't surprising that there are mothers who don't want to be with their children either. Very, very sad but sadly not surprising.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

My mother did this to me and one of my little brothers. I was an adult who had pretty much already written her off at the time, so it really didn't phase me, but it has really hurt my little brother(14).

She is a drug abuser and has been my whole life. I have a few years scattered through out my life where she was an okay mother. (She's very young and selfish. She had me 15) My bother loved and adored her no matter what she has done to him.

She had a drug induced stroke...Recovered almost fully from that, and then up and moved out of state taking my youngest brother, but not my other. Just dropped him off with his dad and left. She has only seen him once since and stopped calling all together about two years ago. Last time I talked to her she said the youngest brother(7) is "just too bad and too much to handle so she might come back to FL and leave him with___________"(the father).

She tried to call middle brother last year but he told her off and said he wants nothing to do with her. Can't blame him one bit.

It's nothing but selfish. I don't care what the reason is. If she didn't want kids she should have stopped having them. I really have no empathy for these women.

 

[mombrontrent]

My husbands parents divorced when he was 8 and his sister was 5. His mother left to be with her new boyfriend who already had 10 kids of his own (who he never saw or supported). She moved 5 min away. She went on to have 3 more children with this new guy. My FIL raised my Dh and his sister alone while their mother made no contact with them. My DH saw her a few times as a teenager but that's it. His sister is very resentful. His mother has made no attempt or has any interest in having any sort of relationship with either of them. I believe it has effected both of them a great deal but his sister much more. This woman never called them or sent any type of card on birthdays, Christmas ect. and when my husband asked about it as a teenager she responded with "well you never called me on mother's day".

 

[dicar123]

I don't know about the rest of you, but up until about 10 or 12, unless my mom was slamming doors or yelling I didn't give a single thought to whether she was happy. I don't think I was particularly selfish, it's just the way kids are.

So, I think all this talk about "The kids will be better off if they see that I'm happy" is utter nonsense. Unless you've gone from a screaming, slapping monster to Happy Stepford Mommy they aren't going to notice your contentment, they're going to be focused on "Where the heck is my mom and why isn't she making sure I have cheerios and showing up to talent night at school?" Certainly they aren't going to say, "My needs are not being met, but as long as mom is happy..."

And they shouldn't. For a time, having children means sacrifice and sometimes you just have to do your duty and get through it. Then they get older.

 

[powellrj]

These women are delusional. We have one is our family. She hasn't had custody of her kids for years, but she lets everyone know she is mommy. She is all over facebook going on and on about how much she loves her kids, but she just never sees them. She is lucky that other family member and friends have stepped up and taken over raising them.

 

[marcyinPA]

I don't know about the rest of you, but up until about 10 or 12, unless my mom was slamming doors or yelling I didn't give a single thought to whether she was happy. I don't think I was particularly selfish, it's just the way kids are.

So, I think all this talk about "The kids will be better off if they see that I'm happy" is utter nonsense. Unless you've gone from a screaming, slapping monster to Happy Stepford Mommy they aren't going to notice your contentment, they're going to be focused on "Where the heck is my mom and why isn't she making sure I have cheerios and showing up to talent night at school?" Certainly they aren't going to say, "My needs are not being met, but as long as mom is happy..."

And they shouldn't. For a time, having children means sacrifice and sometimes you just have to do your duty and get through it. Then they get older.

(I was probably older than 10 or 12. I was a bit self-absorbed as a teenager. I knew my mother wasn't particularly happy- she and my father were going through a divorce and she had to work two jobs to support the two of us. As an adult, I totally know the sacrifices that she made over those years until I graduated from college. )