Tonight's 20/20

[Social Worker Sue]

Did anyone see this? Mothers that just up and leave their children and have no shame. The one mother left Pennsylvania and moved to Washington (state). She sees her 3 children only once a year. Oh, and her youngest has Down Syndrome.

She spends her days painting and singing and hanging out with her boyfriend. She says it is very important for her to be happy.

The other mother just came right out and admitted she never wanted to be a mom.

Even the reporter had a look of repulsion on her face when speaking to one of the "mothers".

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I missed the first story. The one with the mom with the huge chest was pretty repulsive.

 

[Poohforyou]

I didn't see it and don't condone any parent shirking his/her responsibility but there are dads that do this kind of thing every day.

 

[plutotek]

Did anyone see this? Mothers that just up and leave their children and have no shame. The one mother left Pennsylvania and moved to Washington (state). She sees her 3 children only once a year. Oh, and her youngest has Down Syndrome.

She spends her days painting and singing and hanging out with her boyfriend. She says it is very important for her to be happy.

The other mother just came right out and admitted she never wanted to be a mom.

Even the reporter had a look of repulsion on her face when speaking to one of the "mothers".

We saw the preview on the news this evening and neither of us could believe it. Even as a dad, I can't imagine moving that far away just to do that. I'm sorry, I don't care how bad it was between the one in Seattle and her ex, you just don't make the children suffer for that.

 

[low-key]

When a mom dont have an undying love for there children, nature has gone wrong

 

[Cantw8]

When a mom dont have an undying love for there children, nature has gone wrong

I agree, they can break your heart in a second with one word or one look but a Mother's love is unconditional

 

[Social Worker Sue]

I didn't see it and don't condone any parent shirking his/her responsibility but there are dads that do this kind of thing every day.

But, I think most people think it is awful for a dad to abandon his family as well No parent (mom or dad) should ever go a year without seeing his or her child.

People get divorced every day. Moms and dads (good ones) stay close to their children. They spend time with them. They continue to be excellent parents in the face of divorce.

These women were saying "We don't want to see our children very often. We need to be happy and being with our kids does not make us happy"

 

[Social Worker Sue]

The woman that abandon her son with Down Syndrome is just not a good person, IMO. She sees him once a year.

The reporter asked her if she thought this particular child needs his mother. She was like: Meh. People are interchangeable to him. You know. He has Down Syndrome. He doesn’t even understand that I am his mom. He’ll be just fine

On her blog, she actually says that kids with Down Syndrome have “half a brain”. She is making jokes about this. Using terms like “short bus” and his “empty Down Syndrome eyes”.

I don't think anyone should talk about their child like this, let alone a mother that only sees him once a year. She has no idea what this boy is capable of doing. He seemed pretty good at giving her kisses on the ipad. You know, because she is across the country and all.

Sorry, Lady, maybe your son can't relate to you very well via Skype

Just awful.

Here is the link to her excerpt about this beautiful little boy:

http://wildgoddesslife.com/support-groups-suck/

 

[Colleen27]

I didn't see it but the whole idea of the show just rubs me the wrong way. Men do this each and every day by the thousands, but when women do it its newsworthy? Personally I don't have a lot of patience for that sort of gender-based double standard - parents who abandon their kids suck, but women who do it don't suck more than men who do the same. And they certainly shouldn't be given 15 minutes in the spotlight for it.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

I didn't see it but the whole idea of the show just rubs me the wrong way. Men do this each and every day by the thousands, but when women do it its newsworthy? Personally I don't have a lot of patience for that sort of gender-based double standard - parents who abandon their kids suck, but women who do it don't suck more than men who do the same. And they certainly shouldn't be given 15 minutes in the spotlight for it.

I believe men get more than their fair share of publicity when they abandon their children. They even have a name: Dead Beat Dads.

I think dads are just as rotten when they abandon. I would be just as disgusted if I heard a dad on 20/20 say he didn't want to be with his children.

I have to admit, it does sound weird for a mom to say: "I never wanted kids" or "I have a child with Down Syndrome, but my happiness is more important to me. I don't want to take care of him." I think these moms took it to a whole new level.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Wow...the DIS being judgemental. Who woulda thunk it??

First of all, they didn't abandon their kids. They realized that they wouldn't be the best parent/guardian for them and that their dads would. I find that brave. They still have contact with their kids and parent the best way they can. The kids are happy. They are happy.

If they were still with their spouses, bet you a million they would all be miserable! If they had gotten custody full or partial they would all be miserable. Who does that help??

One mom skypes all the time, good for her. SHould she see them more, maybe, but she has to do what works for her and them. The other mom sees her kids a few times a week. What is wrong with that??

Now my ex abandoned his kids. We split, I had the kids and I never saw him again, or received a dime or anything else. Now that is abandonment.

I do not find these moms disgusting, and letting other women know it is ok not to be perfect and that dads can take care of the kids isn't a bad thing. There are many women out there like them. Shame on those that judge then for their choices or anyones choices. Just because it isn't what you would choose for yourself doesn't make it wrong for someone else.

 

[low-key]

I Men do this each and every day by the thousands, but when women do it its newsworthy? P.

so true, but many men thru out the ages walk away or could careless about there kids, mom have always been the rock, and thats starting to crumble. Not saying it ok for men, but praising women for there undying love for there kids

 

[ashley0139]

I didn't see the story, but from the comments here it reminds me of the book The Glass Castle.

 

[krcit]

I didn't see that story but I saw the big ****ed one..so gross. I also saw the one with the underage drinking. Those parents seemed like idiots to me.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

Wow...the DIS being judgemental. Who woulda thunk it??

First of all, they didn't abandon their kids. They realized that they wouldn't be the best parent/guardian for them and that their dads would. I find that brave. They still have contact with their kids and parent the best way they can. The kids are happy. They are happy.

If they were still with their spouses, bet you a million they would all be miserable! If they had gotten custody full or partial they would all be miserable. Who does that help??

One mom skypes all the time, good for her. SHould she see them more, maybe, but she has to do what works for her and them. The other mom sees her kids a few times a week. What is wrong with that??

Now my ex abandoned his kids. We split, I had the kids and I never saw him again, or received a dime or anything else. Now that is abandonment.

I do not find these moms disgusting, and letting other women know it is ok not to be perfect and that dads can take care of the kids isn't a bad thing. There are many women out there like them. Shame on those that judge then for their choices or anyones choices. Just because it isn't what you would choose for yourself doesn't make it wrong for someone else.

Actually, it is disgusting. While the mom is living her dream with her new boyfriend, the 13 year old daughter is taking care of the little boy with Down Syndrome. The father has to work and this awesome teenager is not living a teenage life. She (the daughter) said she also struggles with the fact that her mom left her and moved so far away.


So, yes. It is disgusting for a mother to pick up and move across the country. Away from her children. How nice that she is able to travel, and paint, and live her dreams while her children get to pick up her pieces. She contributes nothing to the family as far as helping it run smoothly. Wait. She did email a recipe so the son could make himself pancakes. How utterly convenient for the "mother".

 

[goofyintoronto]

Actually, it is disgusting. While the mom is living her dream with her new boyfriend, the 13 year old daughter is taking care of the little boy with Down Syndrome. The father has to work and this awesome teenager is not living a teenage life. She (the daughter) said she also struggles with the fact that her mom left her and moved so far away.

So, yes. It is disgusting for a mother to pick up and move across the country. Away from her children. How nice that she is able to travel, and paint, and live her dreams while her children get to pick up her pieces. She contributes nothing to the family as far as helping it run smoothly. Wait. She did email a recipe so the son could make himself pancakes. How utterly convenient for the "mother".

I agree. Its very disgusting and selfish behaviour. These are HER kids. Theyre not her step kids. Sorry but frankly thats cold and heartless.

 

[Buckalew11]

Wow...the DIS being judgemental. Who woulda thunk it??

First of all, they didn't abandon their kids. They realized that they wouldn't be the best parent/guardian for them and that their dads would. I find that brave. They still have contact with their kids and parent the best way they can. The kids are happy. They are happy.

If they were still with their spouses, bet you a million they would all be miserable! If they had gotten custody full or partial they would all be miserable. Who does that help??

One mom skypes all the time, good for her. SHould she see them more, maybe, but she has to do what works for her and them. The other mom sees her kids a few times a week. What is wrong with that??

Now my ex abandoned his kids. We split, I had the kids and I never saw him again, or received a dime or anything else. Now that is abandonment.

I do not find these moms disgusting, and letting other women know it is ok not to be perfect and that dads can take care of the kids isn't a bad thing. There are many women out there like them. Shame on those that judge then for their choices or anyones choices. Just because it isn't what you would choose for yourself doesn't make it wrong for someone else.

Leaving your kids is never right, unless you are an abuser or something horrible like that. But to just decide you do not want them, to decide you want another life, a new BF/GF, no responsibilities, and to "follow your dreams" after having children is just plain ol' SELFISHNESS.

I know a mother who did this. Had 3 daughters and then just left. Sees them rarely and does some sporting competitions now (she does competitions, not that she attends her kids competitions). Luckily the dad is not equally as selfish.

The pain that kids go through is terrible and they carry it through their lives.

I believe any parent who does wrong by their kids will ultimately be answering for those actions.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Actually, it is disgusting. While the mom is living her dream with her new boyfriend, the 13 year old daughter is taking care of the little boy with Down Syndrome. The father has to work and this awesome teenager is not living a teenage life. She (the daughter) said she also struggles with the fact that her mom left her and moved so far away.


So, yes. It is disgusting for a mother to pick up and move across the country. Away from her children. How nice that she is able to travel, and paint, and live her dreams while her children get to pick up her pieces. She contributes nothing to the family as far as helping it run smoothly. Wait. She did email a recipe so the son could make himself pancakes. How utterly convenient for the "mother".

So instead, she should have stayed near by, or gotten custody and been miserable and depressed and not doing anything. And even divorced staying in town, she would be working and her teenage DD would still be helping out with her baby brother. And like I said, everyone would be miserable.

Yes, the DD and kids miss mom. Just like they would have missed dad if he had been the one to leave. I think she is brave, she knew she didn't have it to give her kids what they needed and she had to go away.

I think her choice was better then the moms that out of frustration and anger and misery beat and kill their kids. She knew she couldn't do it, she left them with their loving dad. Good for her. By doing what was best for herself, she also did what was best for her kids. Again, brave, not disgusting at all.

Have you ever been in an unhappy marriage? Or had a disabled child? If you haven't been in her shoes, then nope, you can't judge. She is happy, her kids her happy, hell, her ex is happy, not a bad ending.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

So instead, she should have stayed near by, or gotten custody and been miserable and depressed and not doing anything.

Yes. She should have stayed nearby. That is what loving parents do. They spend time with their children. They are THERE for their children.

Miserable? Depressed? Because she has to be with her children instead of painting and hanging out with her boyfriend? Time to grow up.

The longest she has gone without seeing her child with Down Syndrome is TWO YEARS And then she blogs things like "his blank stare" and "his short bus". She didn't see this child for 2 years. She has no right to exploit him on her blog.

 

[Luv'sTink]

So instead, she should have stayed near by, or gotten custody and been miserable and depressed and not doing anything. And even divorced staying in town, she would be working and her teenage DD would still be helping out with her baby brother. And like I said, everyone would be miserable.

Yes, the DD and kids miss mom. Just like they would have missed dad if he had been the one to leave. I think she is brave, she knew she didn't have it to give her kids what they needed and she had to go away.

I think her choice was better then the moms that out of frustration and anger and misery beat and kill their kids. She knew she couldn't do it, she left them with their loving dad. Good for her. By doing what was best for herself, she also did what was best for her kids. Again, brave, not disgusting at all.

Have you ever been in an unhappy marriage? Or had a disabled child? If you haven't been in her shoes, then nope, you can't judge. She is happy, her kids her happy, hell, her ex is happy, not a bad ending.

And if the dad decides he has had enough and wants to move to the other side of the country to be with his soulmate and paint, then what do the kids do? Or is it now all his responsibility alone to raise these kids? Would that make him brave too?