Toddler harness?

[missbrooke06]

That's not ridiculous at all. Our society judges bad parents all the time. We take kids away. We put bad parents in jail. Now of course putting your kid on a leash doesn't rise to that level - it's just silly and degrading to leash your kiddo like a dog - but we absolutely can and should judge bad parenting.

I actually find the term kiddo silly and degrading and it would make me cringe to hear you call your child that. Still wouldn't judge you as a bad parent.

 

[mirak]

This is also an uprovoked and unjustified personal attack.
For the record, I never lost my 3 little kids, but I don't think that the parent who ever lost track of one is a bad parent. The same way that I don't think that the parent who did not have opportunity or choose not to work with their toddler to develop skill of walking with their family is a bad parent. There are as many ways to be a parent as there are parents, and no perfect way to be a parent. But I believe that developing this skill is very beneficial to toddler development for the reasons stated. If you disagree, I will be happy to listen to your arguments.

Also Nata, I appreciate you sticking up for me - of maybe just sticking up for civility on this Board. I'll admit that I'm having a little more fun ruffling the pro-leash'ers feather because I know that nothing I say will really convince them otherwise.

If someone wants to attack me for admitting that I've had a few panicky instances when a child wonders off - fine. I'm not ashamed of that. I think this happens to every parent once in a while. It's not a reason to put them on a leash. It's always a little risky introducing children into the bigger world, but it's our job as parents to do that in a reasonably safe manner. Parents set rules, hold hands, don't run, timeouts, etc. A leash is a lazy aid that doesn't set a good message. Just because you're taking your kid to a busy place doesn't mean they need to be tethered like they're servicing the Hubble.

Could there be exceptions? Sure! The poor one-armed dad with twins comes to mind - yikes! - and I'll also concede that I've never handled twins even with two arms but I can see how that would be really hard. But sadly, most of the parents I see walking their kids on leashes don't have twins, and they're just preoccupied with other stuff. It's just one more lazy convenience, like plopping your kid in front of the ipad at every opportunity (oooh, now I've done it!).

 

[mirak]

I actually find the term kiddo silly and degrading and it would make me cringe to hear you call your child that. Still wouldn't judge you as a bad parent.

I really appreciate you not judging me for referring to kids as kiddos. That's very gracious of you.

 

[Magpie]

Also Nata, I appreciate you sticking up for me - of maybe just sticking up for civility on this Board. I'll admit that I'm having a little more fun ruffling the pro-leash'ers feather because I know that nothing I say will really convince them otherwise.

If someone wants to attack me for admitting that I've had a few panicky instances when a child wonders off - fine. I'm not ashamed of that. I think this happens to every parent once in a while. It's not a reason to put them on a leash. It's always a little risky introducing children into the bigger world, but it's our job as parents to do that in a reasonably safe manner. Parents set rules, hold hands, don't run, timeouts, etc. A leash is a lazy aid that doesn't set a good message.

Could there be exceptions? Sure! The poor one-armed dad with twins comes to mind - yikes! - and I'll also concede that I've never handled twins even with two arms but I can see how that would be really hard. But sadly, most of the parents I see walking their kids on leashes don't have twins, and they're just preoccupied with other stuff. It's just one more lazy convenience, like plopping your kid in front of the ipad at every opportunity (oooh, now I've done it!).

Yes, because calling people "lazy" is the height of civility.

 

[plutoloversmom]

Everyone parents differently

 

[Dis703]

Also Nata, I appreciate you sticking up for me - of maybe just sticking up for civility on this Board. I'll admit that I'm having a little more fun ruffling the pro-leash'ers feather because I know that nothing I say will really convince them otherwise.

If someone wants to attack me for admitting that I've had a few panicky instances when a child wonders off - fine. I'm not ashamed of that. I think this happens to every parent once in a while. It's not a reason to put them on a leash. It's always a little risky introducing children into the bigger world, but it's our job as parents to do that in a reasonably safe manner. Parents set rules, hold hands, don't run, timeouts, etc. A leash is a lazy aid that doesn't set a good message.

Could there be exceptions? Sure! The poor one-armed dad with twins comes to mind - yikes! - and I'll also concede that I've never handled twins even with two arms but I can see how that would be really hard. But sadly, most of the parents I see walking their kids on leashes don't have twins, and they're just preoccupied with other stuff. It's just one more lazy convenience, like plopping your kid in front of the ipad at every opportunity (oooh, now I've done it!).

Lol at civility. You call parents who use harnesses (which btw is what they are called) lazy, bad parents who are degrading their children by treating them like dogs. Yes, indeed that seems very civilized.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

I'm waiting for the debate on how old is too old for a leash! Let's see...8, 9, 10 is still okay in a stroller. So I'm guessing the cutoff for leashes is probably somewhere around 13!

After all, the older they get, the faster they are and harder to keep up with. And we all know pre-teens don't want to listen to anything we say or be seen in public with a parent, so they're definitely prone to wandering off...

 

[mjkacmom]

I have to say we saw tons of them in our recent trips. But I also find that now that we have twins we notice twins.

ETA: It's also likely twin moms open a thread like this because most of us need to use harnesses for our kids to some degree.

This is true. I didn't use or need a harness for my first 3. However, once my twins started walking, I wanted to take them for short neighborhood walks in our neighborhood during the day. But I couldn't safely do it! Children do need to learn how to walk along' without running ahead across driveways, or running in the street, or even on others lawns.

These harnesses let me teach them, without putting them in danger. Plus, I was tired of the cumbersome triple stroller (I also had a 3 year old home full time). I loved being able to ditch the stroller, and let them explore.

 

[MsPoppinsTX]

Also Nata, I appreciate you sticking up for me - of maybe just sticking up for civility on this Board. I'll admit that I'm having a little more fun ruffling the pro-leash'ers feather because I know that nothing I say will really convince them otherwise.

If someone wants to attack me for admitting that I've had a few panicky instances when a child wonders off - fine. I'm not ashamed of that. I think this happens to every parent once in a while. It's not a reason to put them on a leash. It's always a little risky introducing children into the bigger world, but it's our job as parents to do that in a reasonably safe manner. Parents set rules, hold hands, don't run, timeouts, etc. A leash is a lazy aid that doesn't set a good message.

Could there be exceptions? Sure! The poor one-armed dad with twins comes to mind - yikes! - and I'll also concede that I've never handled twins even with two arms but I can see how that would be really hard. But sadly, most of the parents I see walking their kids on leashes don't have twins, and they're just preoccupied with other stuff. It's just one more lazy convenience, like plopping your kid in front of the ipad at every opportunity (oooh, now I've done it!).

Okay, so now I'm a little confused: (1) if you have twins then it's not a leash and the parent isn't lazy for using one and the twin knows to ignore "the bad message" that the use of the leash generally sends but (2) if you are using it on only one child then it is a leash, the parent is lazy and the child now is being bombarded with "a bad message"?

 

[HollieS]

I don't think any one is debating whether or not lazy parents exist. The problem is the argument that parents use harnesses because they're lazy. Sure some lazy parents use harnesses but some lazy parents use strollers and worse yet some lazy parents don't use anything at all and let their children run the show. It's not the harness itself that is degrading or bad. The harness is *just* one tool available to parents.

 

[cakebaker]

.... I'll admit that I'm having a little more fun ruffling the pro-leash'ers feather....

Otherwise known as trolling...

I find that it's quite often the case that parents who feel the need to attack other parents methods feel a little insecure about their own parenting skills and bolster themselves by running other parents down.

"Look what a bad parent you are" somehow translates into what a great parent they are. Sad, really.

 

[mco65]

WHEW!!!
Glad to hear that because I am a one armed single parent with twins, i am off the bad parent list! YIPPEE..

BTW, i actually have 2 arms but one is always occupied holding a cig or beer! go figure!

 

[HollieS]

WHEW!!!
Glad to hear that because I am a one armed single parent with twins, i am off the bad parent list! YIPPEE..

BTW, i actually have 2 arms but one is always occupied holding a cig or beer! go figure!

See with a harness you can be one-armed and STILL hold your beer!

 

[IrishNYC]

WHEW!!!
Glad to hear that because I am a one armed single parent with twins, i am off the bad parent list! YIPPEE..

BTW, i actually have 2 arms but one is always occupied holding a cig or beer! go figure!

The only reason I don't leash is because I have one kid, and two arms...one hand for the kid, one hand for the beer - I don't bother taking the cigarette out of my mouth. I also wear a blue tooth 24/7 so I can hands-free the phone while not paying attention to my kid.

 

[Dis703]

I'm waiting for the debate on how old is too old for a leash! Let's see...8, 9, 10 is still okay in a stroller. So I'm guessing the cutoff for leashes is probably somewhere around 13!

After all, the older they get, the faster they are and harder to keep up with. And we all know pre-teens don't want to listen to anything we say or be seen in public with a parent, so they're definitely prone to wandering off...

Well my 6 year old actually wants one pretty badly. He's quite jealous that my twins have them and he doesn't. I guess he didn't get the memo about how degrading they are.

But they really don't make them to fit older kids so he's out of luck. In the meantime he wears his brothers without clipping it around the house to play. I can think of a few teens this might be useful for though, lol.

 

[mirak]

Otherwise known as trolling...

I find that it's quite often the case that parents who feel the need to attack other parents methods feel a little insecure about their own parenting skills and bolster themselves by running other parents down.

"Look what a bad parent you are" somehow translates into what a great parent they are. Sad, really.

I'm not trolling - I totally believe what I'm saying. I just don't care that what I'm saying is ruffling the feathers of the pro-leash crowd. If it's true, it's true.

 

[mirak]

See with a harness you can be one-armed and STILL hold your beer!

Even better, we could invent a kids harness that is leashed to an adult harness. The leash could attach to the kid right at the navel, kind of like an umbilical cord! Hands free and brilliant!

 

[mirak]

Lol at civility. You call parents who use harnesses (which btw is what they are called) lazy, bad parents who are degrading their children by treating them like dogs. Yes, indeed that seems very civilized.

I was giving Nata credit for being more civil than me. I call it like I see it.

And go ahead and call that thing a "harness" if it makes you feel better. It's a harness connected to a leash.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

The whole harness versus leash thing is simply a product of marketing. The people who create these things know that parents are going to feel better about something called a harness. No one wants to say they put their kid on a leash. So to make sales, they come up with a more attractive name. And then throw the word "safety" in there, too, and you've got a winning product! Since it's now called a "safety harness," anyone would be a bad parent for NOT using them! If it's called safety, it's something I MUST have. Nothing more than marketing.

 

[HollieS]

I was giving Nata credit for being more civil than me. I call it like I see it.

And go ahead and call that thing a "harness" if it makes you feel better. It's a harness connected to a leash.

You're blessed to see harnesses through the lens of a person without physical limitations, through the lens of someone with neurotypical children, through the lens of someone without multiples. For people who have to adapt to those situations your "harnesses are leashes and leashes are bad" stance seems ignorant and overly simple.