Toddler harness?

[evilqueenmindy]

This thread is amazing. I don't have kids, I'm 34, and have never personally been on a leash. But I have siblings, and several nephews/nieces that were, and several that weren't. We all somehow turned out okay. ( a couple of the little ones are still up for debate, but seem pretty well adjusted) not a serial killer in the bunch. If putting the monkey backpack on your child in a place full of strangers does nothing but give you peace of mind that you won't lose your kid today, it is totally worth it. Your vacation is about you and your family, and if it saves you from ANY difficulty from having one wander off (even with the occasional leash, I've witnessed a sibling wander off situation. Was left with nothing but resentment when she returned that I WASNT getting my own room yet.) then it is worth it. Don't worry about what other people think.

 

[IrishNYC]

That's not ridiculous at all. Our society judges bad parents all the time. We take kids away. We put bad parents in jail. Now of course putting your kid on a leash doesn't rise to that level - it's just silly and degrading to leash your kiddo like a dog - but we absolutely can and should judge bad parenting.

I do judge BAD parenting. Keeping one's child safe and comfortable isn't bad parenting. My child would not be comfortable in a stroller all day, nor do I want her to sit in one all day. It may not be YOUR choice to harness (and it isn't mine), but don't judge someone who does choose it.

I'm sure your speedy little angels never run off and cause trouble, right? :little angel: Someone doth protest a little too much here.

 

[Emca11]

That's not ridiculous at all. Our society judges bad parents all the time. We take kids away. We put bad parents in jail. Now of course putting your kid on a leash doesn't rise to that level - it's just silly and degrading to leash your kiddo like a dog - but we absolutely can and should judge bad parenting.

This is interesting, coming from someone who said;

And I would rather have a few occassional moments of panic rather than leash my kids like dogs.

And from your post on another thread;

"As a parent of three active little boys, we've had a few brief "lost child" moments of panic. For those who say "there's no excuse for a child wondering off" - give me a break!"

By all means Mira, please explain how a GOOD parent such as yourself has had A FEW "lost child" moments.

Any one of those 'few occasional moments of panic' and 'few lost child moments' could be the moment one of your children gets kidnapped, hit by a car, etc. but those are the chances you're more than willing to take right? So long as you don't 'look ridiculous.' And you are calling other people bad parents? I feel sorry for your kids. I can't imagine my mother caring more about appearances than about my safety.

 

[smidgy]

I wish they had had those things when my boys were little!

 

[Nata]

This is interesting, coming from someone who said;


And from your post on another thread;

"As a parent of three active little boys, we've had a few brief "lost child" moments of panic. For those who say "there's no excuse for a child wondering off" - give me a break!"

By all means Mira, please explain how a GOOD parent such as yourself has had A FEW "lost child" moments.

Any one of those 'few occasional moments of panic' and 'few lost child moments' could be the moment one of your children gets kidnapped, hit by a car, etc. but those are the chances you're more than willing to take right? So long as you don't 'look ridiculous.' And you are calling other people bad parents? I feel sorry for your kids. I can't imagine my mother caring more about appearances than about my safety.

This is just not fair. It is an unprovoked and unjustified personal attack.

 

[TLSnell1981]

If you don't use on at the grocery store or mall in your hometown I dont see the need for one.

Not the same at all. IMHO

If you are going to use one, I recommend one of the wrist strap tethers vs. The backpack. No so hot, and is closer to holding their hand. Plus it looks less like a dog leash.

Safety is my priority. I don't care, what it "looks" like.

 

[Nata]

I think that the reason that leashes are popular here and not in other countries is our car centric culture. If you think about it, our toddlers often don't really have opportunity to practice walking with their families. They are shuttled from car, to grocery cart, to stroller etc.

 

[smidgy]

http://www.scarymommy.com/that-time-i-cried-over-a-formula-commercial/

an interesting video about parenting "wars"

 

[Dis703]

Was there a rash of kids disappearring at WDW that we're unaware of?
WDW is one of the safest places on the planet for kids.


What about teaching your kids some personal responsability?
Explain what to do if they get seperated.
Explain the consiquences of their actions to them.

Seriously? First of all, disappearance isn't the top of my concern. It's more about injury to them or even someone else should they dart in front of a vehicle, run into a body of water, fall down a set of stairs, etc.

Secondly, what toddler 18 months to 3 years give or take, is capable of learning personal responsibility to the extent they wouldn't run off if something exciting caught their eye? Have you ever met an 18 month old?

As someone else already stated you can still teach these things while using a harness. Our kids weren't on them 24/7 at Disney but we used them when needed.

 

[Angel Ariel]

for all the parents that are pro-leash; if you are secure in your decision to use them, maybe try not be so defensive about it. if you think they are the right choice for you, just own it. when you argue about it, you sound like you're self conscious and trying to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing because you certainly aren't going to convince the anti-leash crowd.

i mean, i guess this can apply to a lot of parenting decisions people argue about. i get that it's hard to not take things personally when people don't agree with the things you do with your children, but if you're doing the right thing you should feel good enough about it to not feel the need to get up in arms about it when somebody disagrees.

It can be similarly said to those who are anti-leash. If you're secure in the decision NOT to use them, there is no reason to be nasty to and judgmental of those who do.

(FWIW, I have no opinion either way at this point. One thing I have learned since having DD, though, is that it's generally best to keep your options open).

 

[Dis703]

So if a harness is treating your kid like a dog and can be considered no different than putting a shock collar on your kid (Yes ridiculous) I suppose using cribs and playpens or maybe even gates can also be considered caging kids like dogs. Providing them teethers "chew toys" may also be treating them like dogs. Oh and those obnoxious squeaky stuffed animals are like dog toys.

I guess we've pretty much all been degrading our kids.

 

[tina.tina]

Two problems with that comparison. (1) Dogs don't walk on 2 legs. (2) They're dogs - not children.

If you've got a wanderer, hold their hand. If they don't want to hold your hand, they go back in the stroller. they can whine and fuss as much as they want - that's the rules. Sooner or later, they'll figure out that it's better to hold a hand than be cooped up in the stroller.

Modern Family nailed it. Putting a kid on a leash not only looks absolutely ridiculous, it's a PITA for everyone else in the crowd trying not to get tangled up in your bad parenting.

Have any of you guys tried shock collars to keep your kids in the yard? I hate it when people get all judgmental about putting a shock collar on our kids. I'm putting it on them for their safety. As a parent who's afraid of my kids running out into the street, it seems negligent to me to not put a shock collar on them. I mean, we do it for dogs, so why not do it for kids? The shock doesn't actually hurt - I've tested it on myself. It gives me peace of mind and makes it easier for me to keep track of them, and that's the important thing.

Calling this a "false equivalence" is just a lazy tapout. I just took every argument given in favor of leashes and showed how ridiculous those arguments are by placing them in a slightly different context. Shock collars are perfectly safe to humans. They are no more dangerous or cruel than a leash. Let's go back over the arguments:

1. We put leashes on dogs, so why not kids? We do lots of things for dogs we would never dream of doing for kids, like shock collars.

2. We put leashes on dogs to protect them, so why not give our kids the same or better protection? So doesn't that also apply to shock collars?

3. I'm just doing it for my kids' safety. So wouldn't you also want to prevent them from running into the street, which is actually more dangerous than becoming separated at a well-monitored amusement park?

4. The leash gives me peace of mind and makes things less stressful. A shock collar would make it easier to keep the kids in the yard with less supervision.

But by all means, keep putting your kids in leashes. You and your poor kids look ridiculous.

Yes, the "I like to walk my children around on leashes like dogs because it makes my job easier" crowd really got defensive about it!

This is just not fair. It is an unprovoked and unjustified personal attack.

I am actually shocked that nobody said this pages and pages ago. That poster has been calling people who use harnesses bad parents. Nobody called her a bad parent for losing her children because they understand that everyone has their own issues.

If I understand the rules, don't you get points for sarcasm? This thread should have ended pages ago. I am sure the OP didn't understand what she was getting into here.

 

[Nata]

I think that we need to reframe the debate. It is not about looking ridiculous, what other people think or even safety.
If you think about it, walking with family is a skill that needs to be taught to toddlers. Like any skill, it comes easier to some, and requires much more time and effort for others. But it can be taught to any toddler within normal range of development. It is a very beneficial and complex skill and is a huge development milestone for a toddler. It requires toddler to be able to
1. Understand complex rules and follow them
2. Be aware of his surroundings
3. Be aware of his family position in relation to his position
4. Huge impulse control
5. Understand that his actions will have consequences
I understand that many parents don't have time and opportunity to work on this skill, but I applaud those who understand its importance and choose to work with their toddlers on this skill development. I noticed few people on this thread who consciously made this choice

I think that leash is not helpful in developing of this skill, in fact, it is detrimental.

 

[aaarcher86]

Not a fan of kid leashes, but if someone else needs to use them I won't judge them for it. I'd agree with a PP, Disney is very different, IMO, than the mall or grocery store when it comes to using one. Hell, my next one may be a runner and I'll end up requiring one myself!

I will admit though, if you use an actual retractable dog leash attached to your kids belt loop (saw it in MK parking lot), I will judge you without shame!

 

[MsPoppinsTX]

Hey OP - you have to do what you think is right and forget about the judgmental people. There is always going to be someone who thinks their way is better than yours. My family is heading to the parks in a week and we'll be using them for the first time. Yes - I'm going to be that mom...so bring on the evil looks. I also have stretch marks from carrying them to full term, so they can judge me for that too. We have a 5 year old (no harness for her) and twin 21 month olds. We really just need them for standing in lines or when you just can't hold a 30+ lb kid anymore. We will have the stroller for getting around but you can't take the stroller into the lines and the twins just can't hold hands like that for long.

Hope you have a great trip.

 

[mco65]

Well, don't listen to all the anti leash folks. Let 'em eat cake! If you want to use a leash, do so. If you don't want to, then don't.

We used leashes on our twins specifically when we visited WDW while they were ages 2 and 3. We never used them or needed to outside of our trips to WDW. I could have cared less what others thought or didn't think. The ones we used were the backpack type and were very short and wouldn't allow them more than 2 feet from us.

 

[HollieS]

I think that we need to reframe the debate. It is not about looking ridiculous, what other people think or even safety.
If you think about it, walking with family is a skill that needs to be taught to toddlers. Like any skill, it comes easier to some, and requires much more time and effort for others. But it can be taught to any toddler within normal range of development. It is a very beneficial and complex skill and is a huge development milestone for a toddler. It requires toddler to be able to
1. Understand complex rules and follow them
2. Be aware of his surroundings
3. Be aware of his family position in relation to his position
4. Huge impulse control
5. Understand that his actions will have consequences
I understand that many parents don't have time and opportunity to work on this skill, but I applaud those who understand its importance and choose to work with their toddlers on this skill development. I noticed few people on this thread who consciously made this choice

I think that leash is not helpful in developing of this skill, in fact, it is detrimental.

You're missing the point. While children are learning this skill, which can be taught with a harness unlike a stroller, there will be set backs and slip ups. If you are going to Disney before your child has mastered the skills required to keep them safe a harness is a great back up. For most families Disney is an untested zone, you don't know how your child will react when they see a REAL LIFE OMG MICKEY MOUSE!!!!!

 

[Dis703]

I think that we need to reframe the debate. It is not about looking ridiculous, what other people think or even safety.
If you think about it, walking with family is a skill that needs to be taught to toddlers. Like any skill, it comes easier to some, and requires much more time and effort for others. But it can be taught to any toddler within normal range of development. It is a very beneficial and complex skill and is a huge development milestone for a toddler. It requires toddler to be able to
1. Understand complex rules and follow them
2. Be aware of his surroundings
3. Be aware of his family position in relation to his position
4. Huge impulse control
5. Understand that his actions will have consequences
I understand that many parents don't have time and opportunity to work on this skill, but I applaud those who understand its importance and choose to work with their toddlers on this skill development. I noticed few people on this thread who consciously made this choice

I think that leash is not helpful in developing of this skill, in fact, it is detrimental.

I'm pretty sure the occasional use during a trip to Disney once a year, or random park/zoo trip will have very little impact on whether or not my kid's learn this skill. And for this OP's interest in using it just on a trip again not going to effect their kids ability to learn to walk with their family in the long run. It seems like there is an assumption people who use a harness are using it 24/7 or something.

And FWIW one of my 3 year olds has zero care for rewards or discipline, absolutely no fear, no concept of danger, and no impulse control so it takes him 100x longer it seems to be able to learn just about anything. I don't really care to avoid all scenarios like amusement parks until he's capable so we use a harness.

 

[StormyCA]

I used a tether with both my sons (now 30 and 26). Let me assure you they both turned out just fine, neither thinks he's a dog nor do they lack a sense of personal responsibility.

The other thing about a tether is comfort. Think about it, when you hold a child's hand they're walking around with their arm hanging up in the air, usually at or above shoulder height. With a tether, their arm is in a normal down-at-their-side position. Much more comfortable.


People need to get off their high horses.

 

[cakebaker]

I think that we need to reframe the debate. It is not about looking ridiculous, what other people think or even safety.
If you think about it, walking with family is a skill that needs to be taught to toddlers. Like any skill, it comes easier to some, and requires much more time and effort for others. But it can be taught to any toddler within normal range of development. It is a very beneficial and complex skill and is a huge development milestone for a toddler. It requires toddler to be able to
1. Understand complex rules and follow them
2. Be aware of his surroundings
3. Be aware of his family position in relation to his position
4. Huge impulse control
5. Understand that his actions will have consequences
I understand that many parents don't have time and opportunity to work on this skill, but I applaud those who understand its importance and choose to work with their toddlers on this skill development. I noticed few people on this thread who consciously made this choice

I think that leash is not helpful in developing of this skill, in fact, it is detrimental.

Being strapped into a stroller most definitely doesn't teach those skills you mentioned.

However, being in a harness allows him to make choices while still being safe and under our control. As far as being helpful or harmful to learning those skills- the harness wins over the stroller hands down in my book.

But again- It's up to us as parents ( and grandparents ) to decide what we think is best without being constantly critiqued by other parents who think they know what's best for our children.

This is a definite case of myob for all of us.