Tips for taking someone post-treatment

[MHSweb79]

Hi all-

My mother-in-law just asked us if she could come along on our trip to Disney next month. We said "Of course, we'd love to have you!" but the truth is, it will radically change our vacation- we typically hit the parks hard, all day/ every day. It's me (50) , DH (49- and he lets me know it!) and DD, 20 years old.

MIL is currently undergoing radiation after having a lumpectomy late last year. Her treatments end two weeks before the trip. She's 76 years old and has never had any mobility issues.

So my question is, how long does it take to bounce back from radiation treatment? She's pretty tired right now, four weeks in. She's got two more weeks and then she's done with everything. My DH says no way will she ever consider getting an ECV or wheelchair. My feeling is that we should keep those options open, as well as having someone stay back at the hotel with her for at least part of every day.

Any tips or advice?

 

[Piper]

I have challenges that tire me out quickly. I do use an ECV (because of different challenges) but I don't like it when someone who would normally stay at the park comes back to the room with me! I don't want to feel like I am affecting the person's enjoyment. I'd rather go back by myself and then meet up with them later.

Your MIL may not feel that way--but then again, she may!

 

[MHSweb79]

My MIL is one of nine children (7 girls) and they all travel in packs. She HATES to be alone and even if she tells us to go along without her, I know for sure she won't be comfortable staying at the hotel by herself. We're also staying off-site, for a change, so transportation is also an issue.

One plan is to let MIL & DD sleep late while DH and I hit a park at rope drop. Then we'll head back to pick them up at lunch time. But this won't work every day since DD will want to get up early to hit Soarin' on Epcot Day and TSM on Studios day.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Hi and to disABILITIES!

The majority of attraction lines in WDW are "mainstreamed". This means that a wheelchair or ECV will use the regular entrance and line all the way to either a show seating or ride load area. If a line is not mainstreamed there will be signs and/or Cast Members to direct you where to go.

If a show, normally there will be spaces to park a chair or ECV and there will be seats next to the space for other members of the group.

If a ride, usually you will have to transfer to a ride vehicle, although some rides will allow a person in a wheelchair to remain in their chair. If you have to transfer to a ride, and unload is not at the same location as load, your chair or ECV will magically appear at the unload area.

If you click on where it says "disABILTIES" at the top of this page it will take you to the Index. One of the top items is the "disABILTIES FAQ" which will gives lots of useful information. Note that Post #2 discusses mobility and equipment. Post #3 had a wide variety of information and links; it might be a good idea to look at the various park "Guidebook For Persons With Disabilities" for more detailed information.

Or, if you want an easier route to the FAQs, click on the link in my signature.

First of all, pick a place about a mile from where your mother lives and ask her how difficult it would be to walk there. After a short pause, add "and back". The after she answers, say "four times in a row".

Then she will give you a look as only a mother can do to a child which implies "Are you out of your mind". Explain to her than most people tend to walk 8-12 miles per day at WDW. Once around the Epcot World Showcase Lagoon Promenade, is about 1½ miles. And that is without actually entering any of the pavilion areas.

 

[brat]

the Rad bounce back issue, that varies from person to person. My last Rad treatment was about 20 years ago. I went tired to Disneyland two weeks after a long course of Rad and chemo. I felt horrable about friends staying with me instead of enjoying the park.Another person at the park told me she went to the first aide station to lay down so her friends could stay at the park.I did that the rest of the week and had a blast.I could do a slow tour with my friends then one would take me to first aide and rejoin the others, I would rest and talk with others doing the same thing. My friends would come see if I was up to rejoining them and we would be off again.

I am still friends with the person who told me to just nap at the first aide station.We e-mail each other many times a week and she plans to drive down to WDW while I am there so we can have fun together.

 

[MHSweb79]

That's a great idea about resting at the first aid station- never occurred to me. I have seen many posts here on the DIS about how great they are there. Thankfully, her treatment did not include chemo so I'm optimistic that she'll feel pretty good by the time we go.

My MIL does take walks around her neighborhood but I'm certain she's never walked as far as a day of Disney requires! And we're going for 8 days! I still don't know if she realizes we typically hit the parks every day.

I'm hoping that with a bit of advance preparation, we can have a list of alternatives ready for when she gets tired. If we have to, we can plan a day or two of down time and just hit the parks for evening parades/ fireworks/ etc.

 

[KPeveler]

I would definitely bring a list of off-site wheelchair and scooter rental places. My wife's grandmother flatly refused to use a wheelchair until halfway through the first day in MK! Then we rented one everyday for her.

First Aid is also a good idea for a quick rest, but if she really needs to sleep, those beds are not exactly comfortable. Just a heads up.

I find it more comfortable and fun to prevent getting that tired, rather than wearing myself out to avoid using a wheelchair. People walk 8-10 miles a day in WDW. Even if she just wants to walk to Soarin from the bus and then walk back out, she will be walking nearly 2 miles. There is more walking than people realize! And to do it for 8 days is going to be very difficult.

I would bring some info on ECVs and wheelchairs, just in case she changes her mind.

 

[brat]

Do you think she might be willing to use a rollator(4 wheeled walker with a seat) Think balance aide, mobile seat so she can sit when needed, a place to lean.Many have a storage basket as well.

My Mom bucked at a rollator at first but it has really helped her. She had a hard time learning to drive an ECV, so remember some folks are safer without power, Mom does fine with an ECV now if not stressed or distracted.

Oh, and remember sunscreen for her.Watch for signs she is overheating.

 

[Kay1]

I took my elderly MIL to Disney and she started out on foot and then seemed to drag. I offered to rent a wheelchair while she and my family went on a ride and she agreed.

Maybe your MIL will do the same, no matter what your husband believes right now. If she gets there and sees all the people who use the wheelchairs, she may change her mind as mine did. She wouldn't need to stay in the chair every minute, just use it as needed and stash bags, etc. when she's up to walking.

I hope it's a magical trip for all of you.

 

[SueM in MN]

I would definitely bring a list of off-site wheelchair and scooter rental places. My wife's grandmother flatly refused to use a wheelchair until halfway through the first day in MK! Then we rented one everyday for her.

First Aid is also a good idea for a quick rest, but if she really needs to sleep, those beds are not exactly comfortable. Just a heads up.

I find it more comfortable and fun to prevent getting that tired, rather than wearing myself out to avoid using a wheelchair. People walk 8-10 miles a day in WDW. Even if she just wants to walk to Soarin from the bus and then walk back out, she will be walking nearly 2 miles. There is more walking than people realize! And to do it for 8 days is going to be very difficult.

I would bring some info on ECVs and wheelchairs, just in case she changes her mind.

This is a picture of Studio First Aid room with a higher cot/table for changing

The cots that people would lie on for a rest are similar, just lower to the ground.
As KPeveler mentioned, good for a lie down rest, but not if someone needs a sleep.

As was already pointed out, some people do not do well with power and are more comfortable with a wheelchair that someone else is pushing. You do need to keep in mind that someone driving an ECV may be less physically tired, but will be more mentally tired. Driving an ECV requires concentration and alertness because you need to be aware of what is going on around you at all times. People do tend to step out in front of the ECV or wheelchair and there are things to be aware of that stick out - I have seen people hit into handrails, chairs, door handles, etc because they were looking ahead and not noticing those items.

Since you are used to kind of morning to night touring and she is not likely to be able to do that, both of you are going to need to make some compromises. Some of the things like a wheelchair or rollator may help her to conserve energy, but she probably still won’t be able to go morning to night.

 

[chaoslobster]

Wow, this is a tough one.

My first thought is: Is there anybody else your MIL would be comfortable with who could come along and stay with her when she needs a break? I assume there is no FIL in the picture or you'd have mentioned it. Does she have any friends her age, or are there any other members of your family who might like to come?

It sounds to me like your family is not going to be able to do your usual hard hitting Disney vacation with MIL tagging along. Period. I honestly can't tell from your post how big a problem that's going to be. You do not want a situation where somebody in the group is rarin' to go and being "held back" by MIL - because MIL will know it, and she'll feel awful, and that in turn will make everyone else feel bad, and before you know it MIL will be regretting she ever "imposed" herself onto your vacation and feel that she's just a burden. It's very very likely that she's going to feel that way no matter WHAT you do in this situation. She doesn't realize just how much her presence will change your vacation, and when she does realize it, she's going to feel badly about it. Even if you assure her fifty times that you love having her there (I assume you do!) it won't sound genuine to her if she's feeling like a troublesome third wheel. Things like that can alter an entire family relationship on a permanent level. Trust me.

My advice would be for the whole family to sit down and discuss this. Get it out in the open. Tell your MIL that you're concerned she won't be able to handle 12 hour days in the Florida sun, and suggest some ways to handle it. See what her feelings are. Make sure everybody knows what the plan is and what compromises each of you is willing to make.

Good luck with it!

 

[MHSweb79]

It sounds to me like your family is not going to be able to do your usual hard hitting Disney vacation with MIL tagging along. Period.

Oh, we knew that the instant she asked if she could come!!! Interestingly, the one hardest hit with disappointment is my DH - her son! He's already decided to upgrade our 2 tix to AP's so we can go again within the year, alone. My DD is excited to have Grandma along, and will enjoy sleeping in for a few mornings, a luxury she doesn't often get at Disney!

She doesn't realize just how much her presence will change your vacation.

No, she doesn't. And I'm afraid if I lay it out for her how hard we typically hit the parks every day, she'll think I'm telling her I don't want her to come. Which is not the case at all! She's been through a lot in the last two years- sudden death of her daughter (who left 4 children under 10 years old) and three months later, losing her husband to a stroke. While still reeling from that, she's undergone breast cancer surgery and is just now finishing radiation. So scaling back our vacation is such a small sacrifice, right? I'm just trying to find a middle ground where it will still be "enough" for the able-bodied without being "too much" for MIL. She lives in NJ (we're in RI) so we haven't been able to be there for her as much as other family members. This is a perfect time for us to step up to the plate.

The suggestion to take along a list of off-site wheelchair rental companies is a great one. I'm off to compile that info now. I really don't feel comfortable plopping her on an ECV.

Thanks to all who have contributed - I feel that the more I prepare, the better off we'll all be.