I was up before the alarm clock went off, I wanted to be at rope drop. I had only one thing on my mind. Expedition Everest and Mickey. (I know that's really 2 things) I went in to take my shower, as I was turning on the water I caught some movement from the corner of my eye. It was a lizard, we don't see many lizards in our part of the world. I tried to shoo it away but that thing stood it's ground. He looked at me like he knew me, I kid you not, he did that head turn to the side thing and squinted his eyes, I swear he said "I know you from somewhere." It was just a voice in my head, (and I refuse to get help for that, those voices keep me company.) The more I stared at him the more familiar he became. Yup, I did know him, his name is Lamier Griswold, I shared a room with him when I was 16 and living in Cocoa Brach Fl. I didn't want to share a room with him, not at first anyway. We first met one morning when he fell from the ceiling onto my head, then he scurried away, i tried to scream, nothing came out. He was MIA for the next few days, then he showed up in my underwear drawer, (cheeky monkey) I managed to scream then, my uncle came running in "what? what?"
"There's a lizard in my....(I couldn't say underwear in front of my uncle)...closet." My uncle searched, but no lizard. (of course, because he was hiding out in my delicates) months went by and I came to terms with having a room mate, he showed up alot, I named him Lamier Griswold, he was French/American, cutest little accent, he was a great listener as well, and always kept my secrets. I wanted to create a safer environment for him (we had 2 cats) so I bought a cute little lizard setup for him, I just knew he would love it, the next time he came around I tried to pick him up, he ran so I grabbed the tail and that sucker came clean off. I couldn't catch Lamier, he was a fast little devil, I called to him to come back, he never did, and I missed him, I saved his tail but my aunt thought it was gross and made me get rid of it.
So here I am looking at this lizard (he had a tail again)
"Lamiere? is that you?"
Of corze eet eeze moi, oo else woot I be eh?"
"Hey little dude, I am really sorry about your tail."
he turned his back on me "Aypologee... note eggcepteed"
"I just wanted to keep you some place safe."
He snorted "you wanteed to old me capteeve, like some aneemul."
"Nah man, we were friends, I cared for you."
"Do you reep ze tellz off o everee one you care for eh?"
"not on purpose, but hey your tail looks great now."
"Humpgh. no sanks to ayou." then he scurried away behind the shower curtain, I looked for him, he was gone.
I guess having your tail ripped off leaves you bitter, I think I'd be mad too,
I took my shower giving much thought to my old friend, I thought what an *ss
I finished up in the shower and then woke Reese, she got up and showered, we were out the door on time. There wasn't anyone at the bus stop, and we were first in line, when our bus showed up, the driver waited for more people to come, he gave up after 10 minutes, it was just a handful of us. We got to AK, there weren't any lines to get searched or scanned, I'm thinking oh yeah, the park is mine. we start walking and come to a whole herd of people, just an ocean full of people, alot alot alot of people.
Reese and I had made it to rope drop, we were just at the very tail end of it. Apparently people must have been camping outside the gate since sun up. I heard a cheer from the front and in a matter of seconds we were being swept along with the crowd, I tried to grab on to Reese, it was too late, she got caught up in the rapids of the crowd. She's screaming "mommy." I'm yelling back, "swim Reese." I swear, right hand up to God she yelled back, "If I don't make it you can have all my lipgloss." She denys ever saying that.
I was almost frantic, how was I gonna explain this to Kent when I came back to the resort with out her. "she was swallowed up in the current, it was too strong for her, I think the piranahs ate her." Then a ray of light shown and directed me to her. Reese had managed to pull herself up onto a garbage can, she was across the walk way from me. "Hold on baby, Mommy is coming."
After our extremely dramatic reunion, we grabbed tight onto eachother and tried to make our way to Asia.
Now I have nothing against strollers, how else are you gonna keep your babies from being trampled by the wilderbeasts? But on a crowded day like that it should be manadatory that the parent pushing the stroller wear break lights on the buttocks. and furthermore, they should have to say Beep beep beep when they back up. The man infront of me stopped dead in his tracks several times and reached down into the basket under the stroller to get something then put it away or to just look at it for no apparent reason. I had to take evasive action to keep from plowing into him, I eventually suggested he move to the side if he is going to keep stopping, cause next time he stops I won't and he might end up with a knee to his backside. He stared at me like I was the one who was nuts. I think stopping every 10 feet to bend over is nuts, he apparently makes it a daily practice.
We finally get around the guy, and find a place to the side, out of peoples way, cause that's the right thing to do, and we looked at our map. I can read maps, honestly, but this park had me so confused I didn't know if I should scratch my watch or wind my butt. we somehow found the secret road to Asia, we set our eyes on EE and followed them, the mountain was getting bigger which meant we were on the right path. The line for EE was long so we grabbed a fastpass and headed away towards the least crowded road. We ended up in DinoLand, I wanted to try primevil whirl, man was that ever a violent ride, Reese said all the grunts and groans coming from me sounded like I was in a fight.
We then stumbled upon Dinosour, I had no idea what it would be like, we just got in the tiny 3 person line, in minutes we were past the show and onto the ride itself, I was loving it, until a huge Dinosour tried to kill me, he went for the jugular, thank God the jeep took off when it did.
Can you find me there? I'm the one saying don't eat me.
After that we got the picture for proof of my most frightening adventure. I also got my badge that says I am a paleontologist, I can get a job at most museums now.
We still had an hour to kill before we could go on EE, so we hit up a few shops, Reese wanted to buy a very realistic looking snake, I knew her sole purpose for wanting it was to scare Jim, so I said, "yeah, let's get it." we waited in line for so long and it never moved once, so we said we'd come back later. Outside the shop we took time to pose with the friendliest Dinosour.
We went back to DinoLand and Reese wanted to play some games, I thought sure, let's just throw good money away. we sat down to play the squirt gun game, Reese beat me and 2 other teen boys. (you think being boys and all they would of had better aim with their squirt guns)
Then we played that whack a mole game Reese beat me and those same boys. They didn't like that and yelled some crude things to Reese. I said "Do you speak those words to your mother?" one answered back, "My mother taught me these words." I yelled back "Did she also teach you how to get your *ss beat down by a girl?" He was speechless, no comeback from him, Reese yelled "BURN!" I love those mother daughter moments.
We headed back to Asia for a victory ride on EE. We walked right on, past all the people who didn't grab a FP. We get on the train and put her stuffed Dinosour trophies in the net provided. I was so excited my knees were shaking, Reese called it fear, but no, it was excitement. I had watched the travel channel special on this ride, I knew what was to come. The ride made it's way up the steep hill, clickety clack clickety clack, my favorite part of any roller coaster is when you reach the top and all earth stands still for a second, then you inch your way over the crest of the hill and down you go, loving the the feeling you get in your stomach and praying the breaks work when they need to. To come up onto the broken track is heart stopping, you know it's just part of the ride, but for a splint second you worry that it's not, then flying backwards is so different from what you are used to on coasters, it creates an illusion that you are going up side down. I was expecting the Yeti, I just didn't know when he would pop out, there wasn't even time to guess, just all of a sudden he was there screaming my name "Ty"
Listen next time you go, he really yells my name. He hates me, and I never did anything to bring that on.
The ride was over way too soon, we went to look at our picture, the people who sat behinde us were upset that Reeses hair was covering the view of their face. I felt really bad while I was laughing at the situation. We ended up not buying it. (I could be arrested by the scrapbook police if they knew, Haha, "you'll never get me coppers") We said we would come back again and try for a better picture later. While in the store I went ahead and purchased my permit to climb Mt. Everest, you never know when you might need one. Reese and I were parched, or as Jim would say at the tender age of 3 "starvin thirsty" so we decided to use a snack credit and got ourselves the best frozen mango drink to have ever been. we grabbed a table by the river and just indulged in our little cup of frozen heaven. Then this extremely loud family sat across from us, mom, dad and the 2 most obnoxious teen girls I ever had the displeasure of being around.
Next installment
A candid conversation between Reese and Ty about the eating habits of nasty teen girls across from us or
what's the difference between My ex chewing gum and a cow chewing cod?
