This is just so sad,,and makes me ask WHY would someone do this?? I don't call it 'playing'??

HopperFan

"It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, princess."
Joined
Sep 6, 2003
Be very careful about donating to GoFundMe or other fundraising accounts. I have set up accounts for a company that was raising funds for several employees (floods) and the concept is much more complicated than you think. In my constant discussions with GoFundMe they explained WHOEVER's name is the collector ... in this case it appears a friend/family for bench and another police officer with FOP for the big fundraiser .... they are ultimately the receiver of the funds, the decider for how they spend the money and any taxes that may be due on the money. It then gets tricky. A donor has no reassurance the money will go where you expect it to unless the name on the account is the exact name of the person/entity you want to receive the money.


Wow! the one for the bench is 3500 OVER the target amount and the other one is at 14.000. I don't give to these kind of things because there is no way of knowing who the organizer is or where the money is going to .
Now $5500. So after a bench is bought the rest is handed to family.

I know this sounds insensitive but I don't get asking for 50K and then any funds left will go to the other children's college expenses? I can see when a parent dies unexpectedly, a family is losing someone who provides but for a toddler? It just seems excessive and makes me think that the people who set it up are shady. No way would I donate, if I knew the family personally there are other ways to help even if it's financially.
From a non-emotional point of view I agree with you that the funds asked for are excessive ...

- Travel expenses. I can't imagine they booked a cruise starting in PR that didn't include travel insurance for all. Their expenses with insurance and likely RCI help were likely completely covered.
- Unpaid medical bills ... ? Maybe fees to a local department?
- Funeral expenses. I agree many are usually unprepared for this expense and I could maybe understand a fund for that ... but that would likely be 1/5 of what they are asking (I just paid for a couple so that would be sufficient).
- Siblings college fund. This is inappropriate in this situation.

I'm going to hope some kind person in the local community steps forward to help carefully set some goals that are reasonable.
And also gently explain why ( when the goal is met) it can be better to end the go fund me.
You can hope but the fact that the bench has not been capped and the FOP are asking for an extremely high amount ... makes me question the ultimate motive by organizers.

And I expect there to be a lawsuit of some kind against RCI with a monetary pay out ... because that is just what happens in cases like this.
 

PrincessShmoo

DIS veteran
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Thought I'd provide the Fundly link for anyone who wishes to donate. The fundraising goal is 50K.

....

There's also a gofundme for a bench.

....
From the DISboards guidelines:
3. POSTS REQUESTING "DONATIONS"​
From time to time our members ask to post information about a fund raiser or other support event for charity. If you are participating in or wish to promote a charitable event, please email the webmaster at corey@disneyinfo.com for permission first. We only allow posts that are in support of registered non-profit organizations and donations must be made directly to the organization in question via the internet. No requests for cash, money orders, checks or items to an individual, or personal address will be permitted. All such requests must be approved by the webmaster PRIOR to being posted. We're sorry, but requests for school/sports fund raisers are not permitted.
 

LongLiveRafiki

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 8, 2017
Be very careful about donating to GoFundMe or other fundraising accounts. I have set up accounts for a company that was raising funds for several employees (floods) and the concept is much more complicated than you think. In my constant discussions with GoFundMe they explained WHOEVER's name is the collector ... in this case it appears a friend/family for bench and another police officer with FOP for the big fundraiser .... they are ultimately the receiver of the funds, the decider for how they spend the money and any taxes that may be due on the money. It then gets tricky. A donor has no reassurance the money will go where you expect it to unless the name on the account is the exact name of the person/entity you want to receive the money.




Now $5500. So after a bench is bought the rest is handed to family.



From a non-emotional point of view I agree with you that the funds asked for are excessive ...

- Travel expenses. I can't imagine they booked a cruise starting in PR that didn't include travel insurance for all. Their expenses with insurance and likely RCI help were likely completely covered.
- Unpaid medical bills ... ? Maybe fees to a local department?
- Funeral expenses. I agree many are usually unprepared for this expense and I could maybe understand a fund for that ... but that would likely be 1/5 of what they are asking (I just paid for a couple so that would be sufficient).
- Siblings college fund. This is inappropriate in this situation.



You can hope but the fact that the bench has not been capped and the FOP are asking for an extremely high amount ... makes me question the ultimate motive by organizers.

And I expect there to be a lawsuit of some kind against RCI with a monetary pay out ... because that is just what happens in cases like this.
I agree with all of this.

I just personally don't really get the point of Go Fund Me's (and similar sites as I know the main one is not actually GFM) in cases like this where it doesn't seem to be actually established (or at least spelled out in the posting) that there even is a financial NEED and where the amount asked for seems so arbitrary. I don't know a whole lot about medical insurance and travel insurance coverage in cases of death, but it does seem like most expenses, excepting the actual funeral, should be covered. Maybe I'm wrong. :confused3 I agree that providing for siblings' college funds seems inappropriate here. My overall impression is that in cases like this, people want to do something to help the family, but they really don't know what to do, so they start a fund to raise money without the slightest idea of whether or not there is even a financial need, then strangers donate because they want to show their support of the family, but don't live close enough to offer support by other means. I just personally don't see the overall effectiveness in giving money to someone when there isn't a clearly defined need and therefore a very plausible chance that it won't be used for the purposes outlined... especially when there's no cap to the ask, since it's likely the amount raised will surpass any actual need even if there is one.
 
  • lifesavacation

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 24, 2016
    From the DISboards guidelines:
    3. POSTS REQUESTING "DONATIONS"​
    From time to time our members ask to post information about a fund raiser or other support event for charity. If you are participating in or wish to promote a charitable event, please email the webmaster at corey@disneyinfo.com for permission first. We only allow posts that are in support of registered non-profit organizations and donations must be made directly to the organization in question via the internet. No requests for cash, money orders, checks or items to an individual, or personal address will be permitted. All such requests must be approved by the webmaster PRIOR to being posted. We're sorry, but requests for school/sports fund raisers are not permitted.
    I’ll go back and edit to remove the links. I am not participating in nor promoting the fundraisers, though I can see that is how it may have been interpreted.
     
    Last edited:

    mummabear

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 2, 2012
    I know this sounds insensitive but I don't get asking for 50K and then any funds left will go to the other children's college expenses? I can see when a parent dies unexpectedly, a family is losing someone who provides but for a toddler? It just seems excessive and makes me think that the people who set it up are shady. No way would I donate, if I knew the family personally there are other ways to help even if it's financially.
    I thought the same but didnt want to sound like an ***.
    I could understand the parents needing some time away from work, and would need financial help to do that.
    I would have thought the travel costs and medical expenses were being paid by travel insurance and to be honest I have little sympathy for people who dont buy travel insurance (for the financial position they find themselves in)
    Funeral costs I dont have a clear view on how much that would be but I can understand not being prepared for this cost, savings wise.
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    I don't have an issue with a small amount of fundraising for the family. The same issue came up with the alligator incident. Of course there's no need for an income to be replaced when you lose a toddler. But family members will need counseling and perhaps will need a leave of unpaid absence from work to deal with their grief. The public can't do much to ease their grief, but if money can help lessen some day to day stresses while they deal with it, then I don't think it's a bad thing.

    That said, there's no need for a massive payout of some sort.
     
  • Hikergirl

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 28, 2016
    I don't have an issue with a small amount of fundraising for the family. The same issue came up with the alligator incident. Of course there's no need for an income to be replaced when you lose a toddler. But family members will need counseling and perhaps will need a leave of unpaid absence from work to deal with their grief. The public can't do much to ease their grief, but if money can help lessen some day to day stresses while they deal with it, then I don't think it's a bad thing.

    That said, there's no need for a massive payout of some sort.
    I can agree with that and I have no problem with fundraisers. I've donated to a few of them myself. Not online one, actual ones where someone does something and "sells" tickets and I've donated to families directly who we know who were faced with a tragedy.
    It's the whole "we have a goal of $50K and will use some it to pay for the other kid's college fund" stuff that just turns me off. I understand helping the family in time of their grief, but 15 years later? I'm sorry but to me that just seems like too much to ask of people. I know it isn't the family asking, but I also know that the family can speak up to the organizers and say something about it too.
     

    DisneyHardin

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 20, 2010
    Not sure if the mother is employed right now, but benefits from his job should certainly cover much of the father's pay.
    My husband is a police officer and unless he had plenty of sick/vacation time saved up, he doesn't have benefits that would give him a pay check after a catastrophic event. Only if he was hurt in the line of duty, would he be able to be off without using his earned time.
     

    ronandannette

    I gave myself this tag and I "Like" myself too!
    Joined
    May 4, 2006
    My husband is a police officer and unless he had plenty of sick/vacation time saved up, he doesn't have benefits that would give him a pay check after a catastrophic event. Only if he was hurt in the line of duty, would he be able to be off without using his earned time.
    :scratchin Would there not at least be some type of paid bereavement leave? I’d suspect in such a terrible case a short-term medical leave (stress) wouldn’t be out of the question either. Hard to know what actually applies to this family though because benefit plans differ. Aren't LEOs usually unionized?
     

    laceltris3

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2013
    Regarding the lawyers, let's remember that there is the US based maritime lawyer who is basically solely focused on suing RCCL or obtaining cash damages, and they have also retained Puerto Rican criminal counsel. It is the PR attorney who has likely been offered to see the video. The guy that is changing the story on TV here may only get to see it if he decides to file or specifically threaten a lawsuit (either through the process of discovery or otherwise).

    Based on what I have seen, the PR criminal counsel has not made any statements.
     
  • msjprincess

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 6, 2010
    Not sure if the mother is employed right now, but benefits from his job should certainly cover much of the father's pay.
    Do many people get unlimited paid time off?

    My husband and I both have/had pretty good benefits with a very strong union. But for a death we only got 3 paid days off. If we wanted more time we would have to use personal/vacation days or take time off unpaid.

    My husband gets 5 weeks vacation plus 5 personal days a year. We had a busy first half of the year.He only has 6 days left for the year.
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    My husband is a police officer and unless he had plenty of sick/vacation time saved up, he doesn't have benefits that would give him a pay check after a catastrophic event. Only if he was hurt in the line of duty, would he be able to be off without using his earned time.
    Do many people get unlimited paid time off?

    My husband and I both have/had pretty good benefits. But for a death we only got 3 paid days off. If we wanted more time we would have to use personal/vacation days or take time off unpaid.

    My husband gets 5 weeks vacation plus 5 personal days a year. We had a busy first half of the year.He only has 6 days left for the year.
    I don't think this is unusual.
     

    CdnCarrie

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 17, 2009
    Do many people get unlimited paid time off?

    My husband and I both have/had pretty good benefits with a very strong union. But for a death we only got 3 paid days off. If we wanted more time we would have to use personal/vacation days or take time off unpaid.

    My husband gets 5 weeks vacation plus 5 personal days a year. We had a busy first half of the year.He only has 6 days left for the year.
    Often people get paid sick time and could be put on paid stress leave for a month or two. Depends on the employer.
     

    luvsJack

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Apr 3, 2007
    Often people get paid sick time and could be put on paid stress leave for a month or two. Depends on the employer.
    Have never heard of "paid stress leave". I do know some have used Family Leave for different situations but I don't think they actually get paid for it.


    We earn quite a few personal and medical leave days each month and they add up over the year. For funerals we are allowed to use our medical leave days rather than personal for two or three days. Past that we use personal days. When my mom died I was off two weeks. They let me use half and half. But its not unlimited.
     

    fly girl

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 20, 2012
    I had a coworker lose her ex husband and her 3 children in a private airplane crash about 7 years ago. Obviously, all of us wanted to help, and we got our company to allow us to donate our own vacation time to her. She had over a year off after three days of word getting out. We also started a donation at our company’s credit union. I do not know how much was finally raised, but I do know it covered all the funeral expenses for the ex and the kids and more.

    I hope their coworkers will come together to help them get the time off they need.
     

    SC Minnie

    <font color=purple>Are we there yet???<br><font co
    Joined
    May 18, 2001
    Have never heard of "paid stress leave". I do know some have used Family Leave for different situations but I don't think they actually get paid for it.
    The only time I've heard of 'stress leave' was with my Canadian counterparts. We had people off for months for 'stress leave'.
     

    Pea-n-Me

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 18, 2004
    I don't have an issue with a small amount of fundraising for the family. The same issue came up with the alligator incident. Of course there's no need for an income to be replaced when you lose a toddler. But family members will need counseling and perhaps will need a leave of unpaid absence from work to deal with their grief. The public can't do much to ease their grief, but if money can help lessen some day to day stresses while they deal with it, then I don't think it's a bad thing.

    That said, there's no need for a massive payout of some sort.
    Like college funding for the sister? That, I don't really get. (The sister is still young, and presumably they will have settled a lawsuit by then - sister could potentially even get her own money/college funding for her pain and suffering, etc.)

    My husband is a police officer and unless he had plenty of sick/vacation time saved up, he doesn't have benefits that would give him a pay check after a catastrophic event. Only if he was hurt in the line of duty, would he be able to be off without using his earned time.
    Sometimes coworkers will donate time, too.
     
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2015
    I had a coworker lose her ex husband and her 3 children in a private airplane crash about 7 years ago. Obviously, all of us wanted to help, and we got our company to allow us to donate our own vacation time to her. She had over a year off after three days of word getting out. We also started a donation at our company’s credit union. I do not know how much was finally raised, but I do know it covered all the funeral expenses for the ex and the kids and more.

    I hope their coworkers will come together to help them get the time off they need.
    I think more companies are doing things internally for lack of a better word.

    The insurance company I worked for ended up maybe 2 or so years after I started there developed an Employee Fund where you could opt to donate money from your paycheck into the fund. The fund was then used for a variety of things but being an insurance company I would hazard and say a lot was used for things like that like you had a house fire or a bad car accident or tornado damage, etc. As an employee you were simply donating into the fund not to a particular person.

    Your PTO thing wasn't allowed though. You couldn't donate any PTO time.
     

    msjprincess

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 6, 2010
    I don't know about other places but where DH and I work if we use FMLA because we're sick, we get paid. If we take FMLA time for any other reason it is unpaid.



    I think the sibling college fund is over the top. There's no connection.
     

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