Things that make you shake your head!

[Leajess99]

Here in Michigan the Bridge Card (EBT) will pay for the deposit on your pop. I do think that is wrong.

A long time ago (back in the 80s) you could not even buy pop on Food stamps in Michigan. Amazing how things change. Also very wrong that it pays for the deposit as then it is cash back to the recipient when they turn the bottles/cans back in.

 

[Leajess99]

I am not proud to admit that we have received food benefits from our state since the end of August. We have probably technically qualified for longer, but it wasn't until I was scrounging for a few dollars for bread and milk (literally) that I decided I had to take a drastic step. Our current income is $720 a month for a family of 3 and we receive $396 per month in food assistance. If anyone thinks I live high on the hog with my assistance, they are sadly mistaken.

I have a job, but am working only minimal hours because I'm spending 40+ hours a week on my education - I go to work every morning but I don't get paid for it. DH also works full time and the vast majority of our income is his. I don't know why I feel the need to justify this, but alas I do. Our current income places us well below the current federal poverty level (about $1500 a month for a family of 3).

I struggled with even posting this - I am ASAHMED to be receiving these benefits, but I would rather swallow my pride and have food in my refrigerator than have my pride and a bare cupboard. I try to hide my card when I make purchases because I feel like EVERYONE is analyzing what I have in my cart and whether or not I'm using THEIR money wisely. I remind myself that this is only temporary - at the latest I'll be more gainfully employed in May and hopefully in March - and that I paid my fair share of taxes during the 10 years I worked between college and my return to school. But, it doesn't make me feel any better about it. As I told DH the day I got our approval letter - I'm not happy but I am thankful. I still budget and shop sales and I use coupons just as I would if this were "my" money - but I also buy a package of cookies (I take 4 a day in my lunch) every other week and a couple of bags of chips, among a few frozen items as well. But, I can honestly say I've NEVER purchased something with my assistance that I would not have purchased with my own funds.

FWIW, we make too much money to qualify for cash assistance (the cut-off in our state is $400/month income) - so I agree with many of the PP's - I'm just thankful for what we have and I'm looking forward to the day that I won't have to rely on help to feed my family.

Please don't feel ashamed as you seem to be doing the right thing. I was once on food stamps but I also treated it as if it were my own money and budgeted. We had steak (not ribeyes just the cheap stuff that was no more than $2 a pound at the time), hamburger, chicken, and if pork was cheap pork. I have a problem with the fraud and abuse but those using it as a hand up I have no issues with. I would not say anything to anyone but I do get upset about the fraud and waste. I also knew a single mother (former friend) who was getting $6500 a month in alimony (first and second husbands both paying this) as well as child support and lying so she would get food stamps. She was getting $800 a month in food stamps and always blowing it on junk. Her kids were drinking 7 to 8 cans of soda a day and just eating straight junkfood. Her one child was sickly looking because she was not getting anything nutritious. It was very sad and yes I made the call because they needed to investigate it. Our area is now investigating more and more cases of welfare fraud and you better believe you will be reading these people's names in the paper if they are charged or convicted.

I can also understand looking forward to the day you no longer need them. That was a very happy day for me as well.

 

[Leajess99]

Everyone participating in this thread should take a moment, click on this link, and look at the income requirements to be eligible for food stamps.

In NY, for a family of 4 with no elderly or disabled members the MAXIMUM gross annual income to be eligible for food stamps is $28,668. I would not want to be trying to support my family on that income. I have friends who are on WIC/food stamps due to job loss, and they are still struggling to pay their bills even with food assistance.

I agree that there are people who abuse the system, and there could be changes made to make it better. But I honestly would NOT want to be in a position that made me eligible for public assistance.

The saddest thing is that the Maximum level for unearned income is much less than that. As a disabled veteran I couldn't qualify for food stamps even at that level because my income is considered unearned. There are many people in my same situation that may make that a year but it is unearned so they can't get help.

 

[Leajess99]

I am a retired Home Economics teacher and not by choice. This program has been basically removed from all school systems and is usually called Family and Consumer Science where it does exist. We do not teach our children about budgets and shopping and real life experiences they need to know about because of budget cuts. Many of the households the children come from do not have the knowledge themselves to teach these things so the kids have no way of knowing without guidance.

My older kids have both had or have FACS and they have both been taught about grocery shopping, reading labels, budgets, etc. I do think it is a great class. I dropped Home Ec or whatever the name of it was in high school as I could not stand the teacher's voice (grated my nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard) so I had issues with budgeting for a short while. I do think FACS should be required at all schools as someone has to teach these children about budgets and finances and even how to write checks/balance a check book.

 

[Leajess99]

I had a friend whose kids went to private school, in otherwords, she paid tuition and her kids got free lunch. How does that work? If you can pay tuition why can't you send your kid to public school and pay for their lunch??
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I would love to do something like that. Do you know if that type of program exists pretty much everywhere?

Are you sure she was in fact paying the tuition?? I ask this because I know of a private school here in which they have sponsors for kids who cannot afford the tuition. My mother's neighbor was telling me that is how his child was going to the private school and that I should go and tell them I need a sponsor and send my kids to school there. Thanks but no thanks on that one as I don't want my kids in a private school that has as many kids in the classroom as she has in her public school classroom.

If she is paying tuition herself, than I have to say she had to figure out what she really needed to do for her child. There are a few parents around here who have their kids in the one Christian school that does not have scholarships and are on food stamps. Some I don't see how but I can't fault them for wanting the best they can get school wise.

 

[Michigan_Minnie]

I just want to say that $175 of candy does not seem like a relatively normal Halloween party.

I grew up poor too so I can relate. Those programs should be used as a stepping stone. My mom never did use food stamps, although I know we qualified. Not saying there is anything wrong with it, I agree when it is needed and used properly. Just, $175 in candy seems very out of line.

I would bet we dont spend $175 in candy for the whole year!

 

[marie1203]

In reference to the bolded, you do realize that soldiers/servicemembers and the Disabled veterans getting disability compensation as well as probably some others are also living off what "taxpayers contribute" right?? I do live off of taxpayers' money but I also paid into the system for many years before my medical issues caused by my military service. Just so it is known that not all getting taxpayers money are on welfare.

Really? Service members are the same as people that get welfare? I am very offended by this. My husband WORKS very hard not only that but as a military family we make many sacrifices. And on top of that they take a pay cut for being in the military vs the private sector. Usually about 3 times military pay. Oh yeah and we also pay taxes.

 

[Ava]

Agreed, my husband thinks that people who purchase organic foods on EBT should not be allowed too, we had this debate the other night. I told him that it should not matter that they are allowed to purchase organic foods. People want to be healthy and should not be limited to foods that will eventually cause them future medical problems. If they stay with-in the amount that they have been provided with for a month, then really it should not matter what they buy.

Ditto. I would much rather see people using their food stamp money wisely to buy healthy foods than buying a bunch of junk with it. A lot of the farmer's markets in my area are now set up to accept EBT, which I think is great.

I also belong to a CSA (community supported agriculture, basically a group who buys produce directly from a farmer) that charges on a sliding scale based on income. The higher two income levels pay up front for the whole season, but the lower income level is allowed to pay weekly throughout the season and also use food stamps to pay if they receive them. The group's "mission" so to speak is to make fresh local produce available to everyone, regardless of their economic status.

Are you sure she was in fact paying the tuition?? I ask this because I know of a private school here in which they have sponsors for kids who cannot afford the tuition. My mother's neighbor was telling me that is how his child was going to the private school and that I should go and tell them I need a sponsor and send my kids to school there. Thanks but no thanks on that one as I don't want my kids in a private school that has as many kids in the classroom as she has in her public school classroom.

I went to a private high school and I know my school offered scholarships. I know many private schools around here that do also, so it's probably common all over for private schools to have programs in place for students who can't afford the tuition.

If she is paying tuition herself, than I have to say she had to figure out what she really needed to do for her child. There are a few parents around here who have their kids in the one Christian school that does not have scholarships and are on food stamps. Some I don't see how but I can't fault them for wanting the best they can get school wise.

My mom's parents sent all 5 of their children to Catholic schools from elementary through high school. (This was in the 1950s-60s.) I don't know that they ever received any type of government assistance, but they sacrificed a lot (lived in a small home, never went on vacation except to a local beach) to send their children to Catholic school because it was important to them. In your example, I'm not quite sure how someone can afford to pay for private school & still qualify for food stamps, but I am guessing that a LOT of their income goes to pay for their child's schooling, which is obviously their choice to make.

 

[Anjelica]

I guess I don't understand the stance that people take "don't be judgemental" when folks relate an experience they had. It is there experience and sure they are judgemental but when did that become an absolute no-no?

I find it hard to believe that every experience someone writes about regarding what they have viewed to be abuse of the food-stamp programs as a misguided judgement of apparently some poor soul who is an Angel in every other aspect. Seriously - do we really have that many people viewing an incident 100% wrong - are people's perspective that messed up?

The system is obviously broke - I think the basic foundation of why it was created is truely a good one and there are folks who absolutely need it. But do I believe a good portion of folks on food stamps are able-bodied folks who choose to work the system - ABSOLUTELY. But again, that is my "perspective".

 

[Anjelica]

In reference to the bolded, you do realize that soldiers/servicemembers and the Disabled veterans getting disability compensation as well as probably some others are also living off what "taxpayers contribute" right?? I do live off of taxpayers' money but I also paid into the system for many years before my medical issues caused by my military service. Just so it is known that not all getting taxpayers money are on welfare.

I view military as either providing a service or at one time had provided a service for "our" taxpaying dollars. Even then they still pay taxes.

 

[MissBritt]

All I can say is that it infuriates me to see sooo many people abusing the system, when there are people out there like my good friend who needs food stamps to survive but can't get them. She lost her job this year right after having her first baby, husband's pay was cut, and she's denied because her stepson is already recieving benefits as a dependent on his mom, who only has custody of him 20% of the time. She finally realized they had to have government support, broke down and got in line, and was rejected. The real reason is not that her husband makes too much or that she has too few kids... it's that there are thousands out there taking money they don't need.

 

[Leajess99]

How could you tell who was getting for themselves and who was picking up for others. I can't tell, and I'm handing the food to them.

Because in the early 80s, privacy was not as much of a concern nor was making people feel good about getting help, at least not where I lived. The people were separated at the front for those getting it for themselves and those getting if for someone else as those getting it for someone else had to have more documentation and took more time than those getting it for themselves.

As for donating the stuff, that's great that you donate the name brand items but I highly doubt that that many people donate name brand clothes and shoes.
I also know how my cousins dressed and they were not given those clothes as their mom went out and bought them.

 

[Leajess99]

Really? Service members are the same as people that get welfare? I am very offended by this. My husband WORKS very hard not only that but as a military family we make many sacrifices. And on top of that they take a pay cut for being in the military vs the private sector. Usually about 3 times military pay. Oh yeah and we also pay taxes.

No that is not what I said!!!!!!! I said that they are paid off of what "taxpayers contribute". It was in reference to the statement about having no right to judge or whatever because they are paid, or whatever was said, by "taxpayers' contributions". Soldier's incomes as well as the money for disabled Veterans are also from taxes paid by the taxpayers. I know all about the military as I served but thank you for all your family has also given up.

Oh and the military has every reason to complain about not getting paid enough as they don't.

 

[DMRick]

I guess I don't understand the stance that people take "don't be judgemental" when folks relate an experience they had. It is there experience and sure they are judgemental but when did that become an absolute no-no?.

My remarks are based just on the OP's story. Since she later said that there might also have been food in the cart (she didn't really look), she really had nothing to base her judgement, since she really didn't know how much was spent on candy. And yet, the person she saw paying with her food stamps was made out to be a bad person, IMO in her original post. Of course there are some people taking advantage, and everyone knows someone like that..but it's the judging when you don't know someone and their story, that bothers me. There are many good people on food stamps, so why paint most with the same brush? Such as the many times I was judged when using food stamps for my dad who had cancer. Certainly the items I bought him were judged (and the people behind me would rather talk loudly to others, about what I was buying (having no idea that everything in that cart was what the doctor ordered..my dad was already getting great food from meals on wheels), because judging is what some busy bodies do), as were the items I paid for with cash, which were my own groceries.
Some of the stories told on this thread also made assumptions, such as the person sending their children to private school. The state sets the amounts of income you can earn to get food stamps. As long as that person is buying food with the stamps, the money she earns at her job can be used however she wishes. But even that said, who knows if the child got a scholarship. That kind of judging I can do without.

All I can say is that it infuriates me to see sooo many people abusing the system, when there are people out there like my good friend who needs food stamps to survive but can't get them. She lost her job this year right after having her first baby, husband's pay was cut, and she's denied because her stepson is already recieving benefits as a dependent on his mom, who only has custody of him 20% of the time. She finally realized they had to have government support, broke down and got in line, and was rejected. The real reason is not that her husband makes too much or that she has too few kids... it's that there are thousands out there taking money they don't need.

Food stamps are given based on inclome, family size, etc...one person doesn't get less because someone else less deserving is getting them. However, if your friend is making the amount that would qualify them for food stamps, but can't get them because they are one child shy (even though they have the child most of the time), the problem is with family court, not others on food stamps. Your friends husband should go for full custody, and then perhaps he'll be able to get food stamps. If the system is already paying for this child to the mother, I can't imagine you think they should also be paying the father also. That would be double dipping.

 

[Leajess99]

All I can say is that it infuriates me to see sooo many people abusing the system, when there are people out there like my good friend who needs food stamps to survive but can't get them. She lost her job this year right after having her first baby, husband's pay was cut, and she's denied because her stepson is already recieving benefits as a dependent on his mom, who only has custody of him 20% of the time. She finally realized they had to have government support, broke down and got in line, and was rejected. The real reason is not that her husband makes too much or that she has too few kids... it's that there are thousands out there taking money they don't need.

Your friend really needs to call and report the mother as she is committing fraud. If she does not have the child very often she should NOT be getting food stamps on him. I know here there was a mother who was convicted and fined and placed on probation for doing that as it is considered fraud. Pretty much now that woman is out of luck for a very long time on getting food stamps.

 

[DMRick]

I didn't realize you were talking 20-30 years ago. I'm talking now..where we hope to not make people seem like beggers when they come in for help. Believe me, they don't feel good when they come in to get a coat for junior. I've never had anyone not thank me, and they seem very appreciative. I thank them, for how good I feel being able to help a bit. If just one child's live is changed, because they remember how they were treated, I'm thankful.

As for name brands being donated..God bless Lands Ends. They donate a lot of clothes. As do other companies and people. I often shop myself at the Salvation army, because I love getting Lee jeans (donated) for $5.00 (which employs the down and out so I'm helping myself and others). That said, it's not against the rules to buy name brand clothes with your earnings and still get food stamps.

I'm thankful my income is above what it would need to be to get foodstamps. I would not want to be in some of these people's shoes. I hear the stories each time I serve at the mission, and it's not all about not wanting to work, or drugs, or welfare.

Because in the early 80s, privacy was not as much of a concern nor was making people feel good about getting help, at least not where I lived. The people were separated at the front for those getting it for themselves and those getting if for someone else as those getting it for someone else had to have more documentation and took more time than those getting it for themselves.

As for donating the stuff, that's great that you donate the name brand items but I highly doubt that that many people donate name brand clothes and shoes.
I also know how my cousins dressed and they were not given those clothes as their mom went out and bought them.

 

[BoogasMom]

Your experience does not mean that everyone else has had - or will have - the same experiences.. My dear friend spent years battling cancer - on and off chemo.. The longest period of time she wasn't having chemo was probably 3 to 4 months at a time.. There were many "healthy" foods she couldn't tolerate at all.. There were times that all she could eat was pudding and cream pies.. Other times she lived off of soda.. For 8 months straight all she could eat was Chinese take-out.. Shortly before she died she was living off of Twinkies and ice cream.. On the other hand, my cousin - who just died from cancer a few weeks ago - was living on Pepsi - until she could no longer tolerate anything at all and required IV feedings..

People always tend to generalize when subjects like this come up.. Paint everyone with the same broad brush..

If we allow the government to dictate what types of food people on food stamps can purchase, you're starting down a very slippery slope.. The other reasons were listed in my previous post, so I won't bother to repeat them again.. I am not God - nor do I want to "play" God.. If others do, I pray they never find themselves in any of the situations I mentioned previously..

On a happier note, I hope your chemo is over and you are well now.. It's a tough road for anyone to walk..

I'm sorry to hear about your friend and your cousin and am saddened by their experiences.

On the other hand, we will have to agree to disagree on the government control thing. I believe that if you agree to accept the help from them in the form of food stamps, then the government should have EVERY right to tell you how to spend them. They already do that with the WIC program. I think that with health concerns such as those you mentioned above, there should be an exception.

Besides, most all of the people I have seen paying for their food stamps almost always have a separate pile of stuff such as beer and cigarettes that they pay for with their own cash. If you can afford to buy those items, then you can choose to continue buying those items or you can buy the sugary foods that you want to. That's just my opinion and it's not worth that much anyway.

 

[MissBritt]

Food stamps are given based on inclome, family size, etc...one person doesn't get less because someone else less deserving is getting them. However, if your friend is making the amount that would qualify them for food stamps, but can't get them because they are one child shy (even though they have the child most of the time), the problem is with family court, not others on food stamps. Your friends husband should go for full custody, and then perhaps he'll be able to get food stamps. If the system is already paying for this child to the mother, I can't imagine you think they should also be paying the father also. That would be double dipping.

I understand your points, but I still believe that the system is broken and abused, and there is less money going out to those who need it because of the ones who don't. In this situation, the mother has another child as well, and works only enough to stay under the cutoff. The money that is spent on her kids is not her own; her parents pay for their food and clothing, and she's not ashamed to tell anyone that.

Your friend really needs to call and report the mother as she is committing fraud. If she does not have the child very often she should NOT be getting food stamps on him. I know here there was a mother who was convicted and fined and placed on probation for doing that as it is considered fraud. Pretty much now that woman is out of luck for a very long time on getting food stamps.

The mother's grandfather is a very well-known, well-respected lawyer in this area... they have tried and tried to get full custody for 4 years, especially when she had a second kid with a convicted child molester and the first kid was to be kept 300 yards from the guy at all times and the family knew that the kid was kept in the house with him many times. She has a new boyfriend all the time, the kid comes home to dad and stepmom saying mom moved again this month because he's always waking up in a new house. Most of the time her parents pick him up and drop him off, and sometimes he never even sees his mom. But because of the name mom's grandpa has made for himself, no judge will deny him.

 

[Colleen27]

I am less inclinded to want to help those who are not willing to help themselves. A prior posted used examples of a woman left with a child when the father abandons her, a grandmother raising her grandchild etc. While these are sad situations that may not always be the fault of the person needing help, they are the fault of someone. Somewhere along the line a woman had a baby with a man that was not a good choice and a man/woman/both chose to not step up to responsibilities If we can figure out a way to correct some parts of the system, we would have alot more help available as a safety net for those that just get unlucky.

And that gets into a whole 'nother can of worms... I know enough women who ended up abandoned by what everyone thought were good men, my mother included among them, to believe it is possible to be sure you're making a good choice. We do the best we can in life with the information available to us, but that information doesn't come from a crystal ball and we can't know what changes the future will bring.

Our child support system does need serious reform, and study after study shows how effective that alone would be in reducing welfare caseloads (particularly in regard to cash assistance), but no one seems to have any idea how to enforce parents' responsibility to their children.

 

[Colleen27]

I would love to do something like that. Do you know if that type of program exists pretty much everywhere?

Contact your county's university extension service to find out. In our area, 4H is very active in urban school gardens and nutrition outreach/education at the elementary school level.

Also you could try churches that host food pantries. There is one here that has a huge garden that supplies fresh produce for the food bank, and they provide recipes using the in-season vegetables and host basic cooking classes in the church kitchen as well.