marivaid
My mother is a Pluto molester.
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2006
- Messages
- 3,649
"I've HAD IT with you !!!"
That's how it started and then it got a lot less, let's say, family friendly. I'm going to replace two specific words with flower and butterfly. Because butterflies and flowers are pretty.
"It's Alex's flower birthday! You have a flower blister not gangrene! If you don't pop that flower thing yourself I swear to God I will find the biggest sharpest needle in the world and jam it in there so hard you'll really have reason to butterfly ! We all worked so hard to put this trip together and all you do is butterfly and moan. I'm so flower sick of you already."
She yells back !!
"You're the one who's flower ruining everything ! It's a vacation, people like to relax on vacation you know!"
Oh give me a flower break !
"Yeah ? Well THOSE people usually have a JOB at home, instead of sitting on their butts all day watching TV and living off other people. What do you need to relax for ? The toughest thing you have to do is walk your dog, and you don't even do it!"
That's true, too. I can't tell you how many times that poor dog did her business on the floor in our house (back when they all lived with us) because Jess was too lazy to walk her. And guess who cleaned it ?
I was going to yell some more when we heard a big knock on the wall. Oh, flower. I mean, darn. I'd forgotten we were at POP, home of the paper-thin walls. Good thing we'd been yelling in French and our neighbours couldn't understand what we were saying or we could have gotten in trouble.
So I just slammed the connecting door on my way out, grabbed my MP3 and told Grumpy I needed a walk. There are things even some Jovi can't cure.
Who says they can't go home ???
I'm sitting on a bench in front of the lake when Grumpy joins me. Come on, she says, they're getting dressed. We can go.
What am I supposed to say, thank you ? Oh yeah thank you for agreeing to come with us to dinner tonight. How gracious of you.
Whatever. Let's make the best of it.
We all get dressed. But there's a problem with the shirts. Only Grumpy looks okay in hers, and she's not thrilled about it because it's a tank top and since the sun is down, it's a bit chilly outside.
Alex's tank is too short to even cover the top of her pants. Mine is so big (I always buy the biggest size available, guess it didn't work this time) it goes past my knees and the elbows are on my wrists. Jess's is see through.
But mostly, the biggest problem is that not a single one of us is in party mood.
Grumpy & I decide we'll wear our tie-dye Mickey shirts instead. Hey!!! I've seen those shirts in the POP store. Why don't we run to the store and get some for Jess & Alex ? This way we'll still match !
Since Grumpy & I are ready and the girls aren't, we go. I grab my camera bag on the way.
The shop is mobbed and I can't find the tie dye shirts anywhere. I ask a cashier and she says they only have them in child sizes. Darn. We find a cute light blue one, but they don't have Jess's size in this one. A dark blue ? Not in Alex's size. It's getting late so we end up buying two grey ones, they don't match ours at all, too bad. Grumpy charges them on her room key.
Just as we're leaving the store, I turn around to look at some mugs and what do I see up there ? The tie dye shirts !!!! We find the sizes we need, go back to the same cashier, and exchange them.
Jess & Alex are just arriving when we come out. It's 9.10, our reservation is for 9.20. No time to change now,they'll change in the restrooms at the Contemporary. We grab a cab.
We're on our way when I decide to put away the receipt in my wallet. I always put it - it's a coin purse, really - in the front pocket of my camera bag. There's a strap thing that goes over it, so it's secure and easy to get in a hurry.
The pocket is open all the way, and my wallet is gone.
That's how it started and then it got a lot less, let's say, family friendly. I'm going to replace two specific words with flower and butterfly. Because butterflies and flowers are pretty.
"It's Alex's flower birthday! You have a flower blister not gangrene! If you don't pop that flower thing yourself I swear to God I will find the biggest sharpest needle in the world and jam it in there so hard you'll really have reason to butterfly ! We all worked so hard to put this trip together and all you do is butterfly and moan. I'm so flower sick of you already."
She yells back !!
"You're the one who's flower ruining everything ! It's a vacation, people like to relax on vacation you know!"
Oh give me a flower break !
"Yeah ? Well THOSE people usually have a JOB at home, instead of sitting on their butts all day watching TV and living off other people. What do you need to relax for ? The toughest thing you have to do is walk your dog, and you don't even do it!"
That's true, too. I can't tell you how many times that poor dog did her business on the floor in our house (back when they all lived with us) because Jess was too lazy to walk her. And guess who cleaned it ?
I was going to yell some more when we heard a big knock on the wall. Oh, flower. I mean, darn. I'd forgotten we were at POP, home of the paper-thin walls. Good thing we'd been yelling in French and our neighbours couldn't understand what we were saying or we could have gotten in trouble.
So I just slammed the connecting door on my way out, grabbed my MP3 and told Grumpy I needed a walk. There are things even some Jovi can't cure.
Who says they can't go home ???
I'm sitting on a bench in front of the lake when Grumpy joins me. Come on, she says, they're getting dressed. We can go.
What am I supposed to say, thank you ? Oh yeah thank you for agreeing to come with us to dinner tonight. How gracious of you.
Whatever. Let's make the best of it.
We all get dressed. But there's a problem with the shirts. Only Grumpy looks okay in hers, and she's not thrilled about it because it's a tank top and since the sun is down, it's a bit chilly outside.
Alex's tank is too short to even cover the top of her pants. Mine is so big (I always buy the biggest size available, guess it didn't work this time) it goes past my knees and the elbows are on my wrists. Jess's is see through.
But mostly, the biggest problem is that not a single one of us is in party mood.
Grumpy & I decide we'll wear our tie-dye Mickey shirts instead. Hey!!! I've seen those shirts in the POP store. Why don't we run to the store and get some for Jess & Alex ? This way we'll still match !
Since Grumpy & I are ready and the girls aren't, we go. I grab my camera bag on the way.
The shop is mobbed and I can't find the tie dye shirts anywhere. I ask a cashier and she says they only have them in child sizes. Darn. We find a cute light blue one, but they don't have Jess's size in this one. A dark blue ? Not in Alex's size. It's getting late so we end up buying two grey ones, they don't match ours at all, too bad. Grumpy charges them on her room key.
Just as we're leaving the store, I turn around to look at some mugs and what do I see up there ? The tie dye shirts !!!! We find the sizes we need, go back to the same cashier, and exchange them.
Jess & Alex are just arriving when we come out. It's 9.10, our reservation is for 9.20. No time to change now,they'll change in the restrooms at the Contemporary. We grab a cab.
We're on our way when I decide to put away the receipt in my wallet. I always put it - it's a coin purse, really - in the front pocket of my camera bag. There's a strap thing that goes over it, so it's secure and easy to get in a hurry.
The pocket is open all the way, and my wallet is gone.
(flower)ing butt moving long ago, but she's not my sister so I can say that. If she's going to be an unappreciative 
(butterfly) then the heck with her!
) but he doesn't know about that! 
this is great!!..you're writing that is...
