ftwildernessguy
<font color=green>I have a linen closet at home fu
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2003
- Messages
- 6,586
This year I have decided to discuss The Polar Express.
First of all, let me say I really like Tom Hanks as an actor. Especially his early, comedic work. His later dramatic stuff - not so much. In this case, I think Tom has overdone it with the multiple role business. No matter how he attempts to disguise his voice, it is pretty obvious that Tom plays the Dad, the Conductor, the Hobo and Santa. I realize he was probably pretty expensive to hire, but come on, guys - spring for a couple cheap actors to play the secondary roles.
Now, on to the story. Our hero, obviously upset in his suspicion that Santa is a myth, is lured onto a passing passenger train by an innocent looking conductor who seems to be collecting children for some child slavery ring. Despite his reluctance to go on, he succombs to temptation and gets on board. Obviously, the conductor has been having a successful night since the train is full of gullible children, although we focus only on the precocious and obnoxious boy with glasses, the African american girl with pigtails and the reclusive boy banished to the rear car (what's the story with that?). While onboard, they are served hot chocolate, apparently spiked with some halluciongenic substance, by dancing waiters (not going into the sexual innuendos here). Under the influence of this kiddie cocktail, the kid goes on what can only be considered a bad acid trip, meeting a vanishing hobo who resides on the roof of the train and is of questionable importance to the overall story. In fact, he seems to only serve as a means to aid the author in getting out of a corner he seems to have backed himself into in the front of the train. Anyway, we follow the conductor, the kid, the pigtailed girl and some mentally incompetent employees of the railroad on a cocoa induced trip(keep in mind, cocaine is derived from cocoa leaves) over a frozen lake, through a caribou traffic jam, down a roller coaster ride and into a village inhabited by some rather scarey little people. I mean, these guys are creepier than the munchkins on the Wizard of Oz. As the conductor herds the drugged out kids towards the center of town (think Nazi's, concentration camp victims, see the connection?), the pig tailed girl devises an escape plan for her two male cohorts. During this escape attempt, they manage to hijack a car in a pneumatic tube, steal some presents and get recaptured by the creepy little men. The commandant of this prison camp apparently grants clemency to the abducted children, gives the boy a crappy bell which excites everybody for some reason, and ships em all home on the train. Now I get Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown, those things, but what the heck is this all about except it's a really creepy tale meant to frighten the bejeebers out of little kids? Oh, and for her attempt at escape, the girl gets proclaimed a leader and given a ticket with a bunch of holes in it. Hello - the escape attempt failed, guys, and everybody involved nearly got killed!
What really makes this story creepy is the animation. If I remember correctly, Sony developed this animation technique that used computers to overlay animation on live actors. Man, am I glad this never took off. The characters have all the facial expression of a block of wood. Apparently it is impossible to produce a smile with this technique since the only thing close to one looked like the Clown on that Stephen King movie. Well, I do like the book, but the movie just creeps me out. I still like Tom Hanks, though. Hey - did you know he has a vintage Airstream?
So - The Polar Express - a tale of child abduction, human slavery and drug abuse.
First of all, let me say I really like Tom Hanks as an actor. Especially his early, comedic work. His later dramatic stuff - not so much. In this case, I think Tom has overdone it with the multiple role business. No matter how he attempts to disguise his voice, it is pretty obvious that Tom plays the Dad, the Conductor, the Hobo and Santa. I realize he was probably pretty expensive to hire, but come on, guys - spring for a couple cheap actors to play the secondary roles.
Now, on to the story. Our hero, obviously upset in his suspicion that Santa is a myth, is lured onto a passing passenger train by an innocent looking conductor who seems to be collecting children for some child slavery ring. Despite his reluctance to go on, he succombs to temptation and gets on board. Obviously, the conductor has been having a successful night since the train is full of gullible children, although we focus only on the precocious and obnoxious boy with glasses, the African american girl with pigtails and the reclusive boy banished to the rear car (what's the story with that?). While onboard, they are served hot chocolate, apparently spiked with some halluciongenic substance, by dancing waiters (not going into the sexual innuendos here). Under the influence of this kiddie cocktail, the kid goes on what can only be considered a bad acid trip, meeting a vanishing hobo who resides on the roof of the train and is of questionable importance to the overall story. In fact, he seems to only serve as a means to aid the author in getting out of a corner he seems to have backed himself into in the front of the train. Anyway, we follow the conductor, the kid, the pigtailed girl and some mentally incompetent employees of the railroad on a cocoa induced trip(keep in mind, cocaine is derived from cocoa leaves) over a frozen lake, through a caribou traffic jam, down a roller coaster ride and into a village inhabited by some rather scarey little people. I mean, these guys are creepier than the munchkins on the Wizard of Oz. As the conductor herds the drugged out kids towards the center of town (think Nazi's, concentration camp victims, see the connection?), the pig tailed girl devises an escape plan for her two male cohorts. During this escape attempt, they manage to hijack a car in a pneumatic tube, steal some presents and get recaptured by the creepy little men. The commandant of this prison camp apparently grants clemency to the abducted children, gives the boy a crappy bell which excites everybody for some reason, and ships em all home on the train. Now I get Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown, those things, but what the heck is this all about except it's a really creepy tale meant to frighten the bejeebers out of little kids? Oh, and for her attempt at escape, the girl gets proclaimed a leader and given a ticket with a bunch of holes in it. Hello - the escape attempt failed, guys, and everybody involved nearly got killed!
What really makes this story creepy is the animation. If I remember correctly, Sony developed this animation technique that used computers to overlay animation on live actors. Man, am I glad this never took off. The characters have all the facial expression of a block of wood. Apparently it is impossible to produce a smile with this technique since the only thing close to one looked like the Clown on that Stephen King movie. Well, I do like the book, but the movie just creeps me out. I still like Tom Hanks, though. Hey - did you know he has a vintage Airstream?
So - The Polar Express - a tale of child abduction, human slavery and drug abuse.
I was wondering if I was the only one freaked out by this movie. 
Just figured it wasn't my cup of tea so to speak.
Good to know, it's the TEA and not me! Or..is it that hot chocolate?...
