The happyhaunts go South... the endless trip report!

[mommic32]

Love, Love, Love... These reports!!!
You are so talented... I truly feel as if I am there with you and your family!

 

[Bonnie40]

Your worded description of your family just isn't going to cut it! We've just gotta see pictures!

You definitely have the gift of words!

 

[TEXASPRINCESSES]

I agree--though your description was lovely--I'd love to see some pictures!

pictures, pictures, pictures, pictures!!!!!!

 

[DisneyNutMary]

turned around to make sure the kids were behaving.... and practically PMP. Calvin had grabbed a plate from the luncheon buffet table that was set up for the meeting and was helping himself to the food.

What does PMP mean?

Calvin sobs harder, "I CAN'T! I'm on a really hard level and Tommy draws fire!"

That's one smart child you have there, Mel- he has a strategy, and uses poor unsuspecting Tommy to make it work.


More please- I am addicted to your TR now.

PS- I said Johnny Depp, I've loved him since 21 Jump Street

 

[Barbi]

I've got this mental image of your husband running down a dirt road with your sweatpants on and nothing but a coat hanger... I need to see a picture of him. You are a talented woman, keep writing!

 

[zachnlucy]

I was reading today's installment with glee when I heard whispering behind my back. Turning around, I see 3 kids (9, 9 and 11) trying to read over my shoulder. They scared the heck outta me and I jumped. Sam said "you've been giggling at the computer, and we just wanted to see what's so funny." Then he pointed at the monitor and said "what's so funny about that?"

 

[Tink 232]

I've really enjoyed your trip report, but where can I find the dining report? I' m new to the site and planning my first trip. I did a search but got nowhere.


Thanks!!

 

[zachnlucy]

I've really enjoyed your trip report, but where can I find the dining report? I' m new to the site and planning my first trip. I did a search but got nowhere.


Thanks!!

Here ya go:
http://disboards.com/showthread.php?t=982578

 

[honeybee213]

I have to laugh after reading the first installment. You realize now that chili's was less than a mile from your hotel on the same side as the Applebee's you went to Men and their insistance that they're always right

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

I have to laugh after reading the first installment. You realize now that chili's was less than a mile from your hotel on the same side as the Applebee's you went to Men and their insistance that they're always right

Son of a...!!!!! NO! I DIDN'T realize that! I pretty much gave up and we just headed to Applebee's!!!!!! Well! DH is getting a Fairy Timeout for that one. Just as soon as he gets back from hockey today with all his buddies.

 

[Tinkbellfan]

My family wants to know why I have been neglecting them and hiding in the den all day today. Quick someone give me a good excuse other than "I'm reading a great Disney Trip Report". That would push DH over the edge.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 28

Day 5, Dec 15: We have to backtrack here for a second. Because I forgot one part. About the lip whistles. Calvin had blasted DH in the ear with his red lip whistle as we were heading OFF PROPERTY to find the Walmart. It caused DH to confiscate ALL of the lip whistles for the rest of the ride. All of us. We lost 'em. Calvin, Beth and me. Don't feel sorry for poor whistleless Tommy. He was happy as a... as a... as a...? Well, as happy as Calvin in a tippy canoe. Enough said. He was pleased as punch to still be gnawing on that eyeball. I think that, by now, there was only about half of the eyeball left. That's the retina for all you eyeball buffs. But... I'm sure it's all fine. Disney wouldn't give the kids anything that they couldn't safely injest. Oh. Nevermind. Forgot about those snickerdoodles at MVMCP. He's eaten worse though. At my Mom's. Love her. But she's no Chef Mickey. So... now as we head back Disney way after our shopping adventure, Calvin decides he must have one of his "conversations" with me. It goes like this:

Calvin: Mom? You hate spiders, right?
Me: Yep.
Calvin: What if it was a talking spider and it could make you laugh? Would you still hate it?
Me: Yep.
Calvin: Well, what if it was really nice and could cook? Would you still squish it?
Me: Yep.
Calvin: What if I was the spider? And you borned me out but I was the spider, anyway, would you still love me?
Me: Am I a spider too?
Calvin: Yep.
Me: Then, no. I would like spiders then. If I was one and so were you.
Calvin: Good. So do you like spiders now?
Me: Nope.
Calvin: What about skunks and snakes? If they talked...

Right at about this point in the conversation DH grabbed the lip whistles from between the seat and handed them all back to us. He said he prefered to lose an eardrum than listen to any more of this. Ok. Good. Toot. Toot. Toot. And, since I keep score of such things: Calvin WON. Yeah. He won like Wolfe. 'Cause in two minutes we were all bleeding from the ears, again. Oh well. The kids and DH are hungry so we find our way, directly, to the McDonald's in the Crossroads Plaza(?), I believe. It's McDonald's. Yuk. Well, it's not that bad. It serves a purpose. It's the world's greatest hangover cure and laxative. We eat. If you can call it that. And head back towards DISNEY PROPERTY. Finally. We can SEE it, now. We're closer than Canucks to the border. Ha, ha, ha! Nevermind. It's a saying that's funny to Canadians, though. We head to the BCV and take all our stuff up to our Disney home. Stash it away and take the vote on what we should now do for the rest of the day. It's easy. The kids want to swim. Badly. They've seen the swimming pool area here for a couple of days, now, and haven't had the chance to explore it yet. It's call is literally pulling them into its shores. Like Canadians to Tim Hortons. Ha. Oh... nevermind. All I'm getting at is THAT THEY BADLY WANT TO SWIM. DH is in. I'm not gettin' wet, though. I'm gonna get good and drunk, instead.

To be continued. Yes. The next part will be ugly. Very. Because... I break my 1st rule of Disney. The "Don't-drink-too-much-at-Disney" rule. And I pull a Bukowski. But without the violence. And the hookers.

 

[stich626]

More, more more. Just can't get enough of ths report!!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 29

Day 5, Dec 15:

Disclaimer: This Part 29 will be offensive to anyone with a problem with the use of drinking terms in Disney Trip Reports. Like: wrecked, blitzed, buttered, bombed, ripped, plowed, loaded, juiced, hammered, giddy and twisted. Just to name a few. Of my favourites. So there. Oh. And people from New Jersey, too.

And, yes, this "Disclaimer" is also a tip of the hat to ZZUB's trip report. In fact, I tried a more subtle and "sly" reference to it in Part 27 but it seems that it was missed. Sadly. I thought it was pretty good.

Onwards, then:

Alrighty. So when I said that I broke my number one rule of not drinking too much in "The Magic", I may have exaggerated a teensy bit. Because when I said drunk, I meant a little "happy" or "tipsy" ish. But still with a sense of myself, right and wrong and what the heck I'm doing. I'm at a POOL for God sake, and I have three little children. But DH is there, too. Hum? Anyway, I don't want you to think I got crazy-drunk or anything. I wasn't so hooched-up that I called an old boyfriend to apologize for ruining his life and his last two years of grad school, or anything like that. Not that I've ever done that before. I think. No matter. What I'm saying is that I was giddy... not blotto. Anyone offended yet? Just wait. So the happyhaunts get into their bathing suits and cover-ups and head down to SAB. SAB is very cool by the way. Nice pool. I'm not wearing my bikini, though. It has to be
REALLY hot for me to swim. Or else I have to be really dirty. 'Cause I get cold easily when I get out of the water. So it has to be "Gary Sinise Hot" before I'll go in. It's pretty warm out. But not that warm. I'm happy in a tank, capris and my CROCS. You heard me. I have a confession. This shoe girl is... a CROC lover. There it's out. I love my CROCS. I'm a light blue CROC girl. But, usually, I wear boots. Of any sort. Love boots. With heels. DH HATES the CROCS. He hates when I wear them. Apparently, CROCS are not "HOT" but... frumpy. That's what he says. I don't give a half of a crap, though. I love them. That's all that matters. So comfy. And the best thing about CROCS is that they make me feel like I'm a human cartoon character. Kinda like our former Prime Minister, the honourable Jean Cretien. Come ON! Even you Americans get THAT one! So... we rent big floaty tubes and set up a home base place by the bottom of the Pirate Ship ARRRRGGGHHHH! slide. Then Beth goes a-tube-in' and DH and the boys hit the slide. They'll be gone for eons, I know. I'm armed with my trusty camera. To capture our fun moments. And my Disney charge card. It's all I need. Except for a little drink. The drinking was not planned. By the way. It just happened. The best ones always do. Just happen. So I head over the bridge and to Hurricane Hanna's. It's not very busy at the pool and there's no one at the bar. But me. So... I haven't decided what to order and I get talking to the Bartender. Surprise. For a while. He even shows me a picture of his son. Cute kid. Looked just like him. Now. Since this trip report seems to have spiralled south into a bit of a "Mel's Drinkin' Tips" report... I'll give you another. It's obvious, though. MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR BARTENDER. Remember that he calls all the shots in your temporary relationship. And he pours them, as well. So be nice. Be polite. Tip generously. And if you do all these things properly, he will pour you a drink like he poured for me. I ordered the "Shipwreck" which is a combination of vodka, sweet and sour mix, coconut, pineapple and soda. Sounds good. What I got, in reality, was basically a large vodka martini on the rocks with a wedge of pineapple garnish. I had two. Back to back. The bartender is now my best friend and we're making plans to go to Key West next year. So I drink and follow Beth around taking pictures of her. Even into the bathroom. I take pictures of the drink, itself. And of the boys coming down the slide. Which did NOT turn out by the way. DH takes Tommy off swimming and Calvin makes a friend for himself. A bigger boy but they're suddenly attached at the hip. It was nice. Calvin is a "people person". They're having a great old time. I meet and talk to anyone in range of our home base. Nice family from Texas. A woman from right there in Orlando who's husband is a CM. Yada, yada, yada. I'm having a pretty good time at the 'ol SAB. Then Calvin's friend's father comes looking for him. Don't know, for sure, where he was before. But, he looks like he's had a Shipwreck or two, himself. Ah ha! I attract fully loaded seagulls and people, too. In my list of the types of people I attract... I forgot to mention drunk men. I'm popular with drunk guys. Lucky me. But I was kinda pickled, too, so what the heck. We chat. We get to know one another. We laugh. I make my new drinkin' buddy laugh very hard. And he rewards me by teaching me to talk like he does. He's from New Jersey. He gets me talking just like him. It was fun. My kinda fun. The best word he taught me was "TERLET" which is, apparently, "TOILET". Good word. Funny. And what made it even better was that the part of SAB we were standing beside is a whirlpool. And it reminds you of a toilet. Kinda. So we were amused. And had fun. Until he had to go. Bye, drunk guy! I'll miss you. Then DH comes back and makes fun of me and decides to get himself a drink. Beth, Tommy and Calvin decide to make sandcastles and play out of the water. I watch them while DH goes to the bar. He comes back with a drink. Different than mine. It was a Mai Tai. DH tried it and HATED it. Ha, ha, ha. Somewhere during the afternoon DH had FORGOTTEN that he hates rum. Ha, ha, ha! That was funny. To me. So I now get to say stuff like this: "Mai tai have a sip of your drink?", "Mai Tai tell you that it's not as bad as you think." and, even, "Mai Tai ask why you ordered this particular drink when you hate rum?" It was all good. Then we finished swimming and headed back up to our room. To get ready for dinner. In Italy. The land of pasta and red wine. Goody gumdrops.

To be continued.

 

[Shelby5514]

Mai Tai say you are a hoot!

 

[TastefullyChris]

Okay....the "Mai Tai" comments made me do the "snort/laugh"!!! Too funny!

BTW...to the OP who asked what PMP means....I think it is Pee My Pants.

Thanks for the daily dose of laughs, Mel!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Part 30 (Ha,ha,ha! Sorry. I'm a loser)

Day 5, Dec 15: The happyhaunts, with their polluted mother in tow, head back up to their WDW home on the fifth floor of the BCV. Calvin Koala-ed down the hall. As usual. He's really fast now. He could probably beat me now... with me in a regular sprint. Practice makes perfect. So when we get into the room DH immediately opens a beer. He's grumpy. That his drink sucked. Mai Tai suggest you have a shower before dinner, honey? Hee, hee. He hits the bathroom. Good thing all of our towels are in a big, damp, smelly heap on the floor. He gets to dry himself with a washcloth. Or two. I was SURE we were supposed to have Trash and Towel service this day? But we didn't. No matter. I'm in Disney and all is well. Plus... we're going to dinner in Italy. Now. There are a lot of negative comments on these boards about Italy and the quality of the food therein. So I say. Bite me. Because I love Italy. So much that I even love everything about it in Disney, too. I was fortunate enough to travel to Italy when I was young and full of adventure and beans. I was 18 and my parents were NOT along for the ride. And, I have a passion for both history and literature. Hence my English and History degrees. So... to me, Italy WAS both of those passions intertwined. Heaven on earth. With pasta. Italy was a bit like Disney is for me, too. But with filth, madness, stray cats and drivers who are really just closet serial killers. No offense to all you Italians out there. Maybe this should have had a "Disclaimer", too. Too late. But... I learned several life lessons while in Rome. 1.) Not to travel on public transit systems. 2.) To weep in public when faced with such vivid beauty as the Sistine Chapel holds. 3.) Not to have long, long, very blond hair. 4.) Points 1. and 3. relate. 4.) That Michelangelo ROCKS! And, not in a Journey/Air Supply way... but in an Aerosmith/Rolling Stones way. Oh. I have an Aerosmith story, too. Remind me. 5.) That the little passageways and side alleys in Rome are worth shooting with a couple of rolls of film. And... 6.) Let's get back to Disney 'cause what the heck are we doing in Rome? Sorry. So. I'm gonna like Italy in World Showcase no matter what. But, really, the food is great. We have no complaints. Everyone gets showered, spiffy and dressed in fresh clean clothes. I get kinda dolled up and wander out to get my other purse to fill. DH tells me that I'm "so hot it hurts!" but he's laughing, as well. It's because I've forgotten to put on pants. Drink some water. Several glasses. Head out to dinner. We take our time walking to Italy. Tommy is loose. Calvin is steering the stroller. He's chasing Beth. Through World Showcase. We have dinner and a carafe of Chianti. I have a lovely dinner. And drink more water. I somewhat sober up by the end. And we all head out to enjoy Illuminations. I love it. Great, powerful show. As we watch, I see Calvin move over close to Tommy and put his arm around him. He starts whispering to his little brother. Tommy is nodding and whispering back. Beth comes over tight to me and puts her arms around my waist. And hugs me. We hold on to each other. DH is behind us with his hand wrapped around something he loves, too. It's a glass of draft beer. I don't care. We're all happy. It's all good. In fact... it's better than good. It's Disney.

To be continued.

 

[Grammyof2]

First ZZub's report with the south crack and then you picking on our terlets. I gotta get a life. Good Night to all!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Excellent Report. I think.

Honestly, the good ones always seem to rise to the top!

 

[Maleficent13]

I couldn't wait to get to work this morning...so I could check for updates on the happyhaunts!

This is GREAT!