The Duggar's

[NTDreams]

I was in no way bashing them, just calling a duck, a duck. I think their lifestyle is extreme and that they are that extreme to get publicity and free items. There is something mentally wrong with that woman, and Jim Bob is not quite right himself. With the market the way it is there is no way you can tell me that a Real Estate Agent is able to afford to take care of 20 people.
As for homeschooling, I just don't get it. maybe it's because I live in a community with great schools and I think no matter how bad a school might be, students can learn if they want to learn. A parent can't be a better educator than someone who has spent years in school studying the best and most accurate ways of teaching. This is of course unless that parent was a former teacher themselves. Even then though, why would you want to? There needs to be a separation. As a parent you can't be the only source of opinion.

 

[Ember]

IMHO physical chemistry is one of them! I was married at age 20 and we have made it to 11 years in June. If we had not even kissed or hugged normally, let alone anything else, how would I have known that we were physically compatible? I heard of many marriages that break up or least end up in counseling because they are not sexually compatible. I am not saying the should have sex before marriage, that is a personal choice, although I think the Druggers brainwash their kids a least to a degree, but no kissing and side hugging? To met set up an unabtainable expectation of marriage.

Ah, yes, but you're talking of a situation where women have some say in how often and when sex will take place, not to mention get physical satisfaction from it. Do you really believe any man in that "I am the master of my woman" belief system would tolerate a mere woman putting up an opinion with regards to sex in any way?

The sex talk Jim Bob gave his son was ridiculous. It centered around the fact the the man needs/wants a physical relationship, and in return must take the time to listen to his wife, even when her talk is small and petty with no substance and he doesn't understand what she's prattling on about, because then she'll feel valued. Yep, that's the basis for a healthy marriage right there.

In the book on Elizabeth the First I'm reading right now they talk about the "marriage debt" that you have to pay to be married and taken care of, because the sex for a woman is so uncomfortable. I couldn't get that phrase out of my head while watching the joyous Duggar wedding. That poor girl.

 

[tzolkin]

The sex talk Jim Bob gave his son was ridiculous. It centered around the fact the the man needs/wants a physical relationship, and in return must take the time to listen to his wife, even when her talk is small and petty with no substance and he doesn't understand what she's prattling on about, because then she'll feel valued. Yep, that's the basis for a healthy marriage right there.

That was my biggest issue with the show. Obviously this was going to be on TV for both their wives to see. I know I certainly wouldn't feel valued if I knew that my husband didn't care about anything I had to say. It wasn't just during the talk. They mentioned numerous times that since only the women care about the wedding the men have to just pretend to be interested.

There were several comments made about what men care about, how they feel, what they want, etc. that bothered me. The entire show was just gender stereotyping on both ends.

that scene where the helper woman had her hands in the crab salad - eww! put some gloves on, already!

I thought she did have a glove on.

 

[NAB]

I was in no way bashing them, just calling a duck, a duck. I think their lifestyle is extreme and that they are that extreme to get publicity and free items. There is something mentally wrong with that woman, and Jim Bob is not quite right himself. With the market the way it is there is no way you can tell me that a Real Estate Agent is able to afford to take care of 20 people.

They own commercial property that they rent out. He did very will for himself when he was younger with real estate. They have no debt at all.

They were doing fine before the show, not sure why they decided to do the show Maybe it was a good investment for the family. I am sure they thought it out. Everything else is orderly.

 

[Chicago526]

Ah, yes, but you're talking of a situation where women have some say in how often and when sex will take place, not to mention get physical satisfaction from it. Do you really believe any man in that "I am the master of my woman" belief system would tolerate a mere woman putting up an opinion with regards to sex in any way?

The sex talk Jim Bob gave his son was ridiculous. It centered around the fact the the man needs/wants a physical relationship, and in return must take the time to listen to his wife, even when her talk is small and petty with no substance and he doesn't understand what she's prattling on about, because then she'll feel valued. Yep, that's the basis for a healthy marriage right there.

In the book on Elizabeth the First I'm reading right now they talk about the "marriage debt" that you have to pay to be married and taken care of, because the sex for a woman is so uncomfortable. I couldn't get that phrase out of my head while watching the joyous Duggar wedding. That poor girl.

I could be wrong, but I'm willing to bet that their faith says that sex is for reproduction only, not for pleasure anyway. It doesn't matter if you're compatable, your goal is to make babies, not have a good time!

As for home schooling, I have no problem with it, I'd do it myself except my DH thinks it's "weird". It can be done in a way that a child has a well rounded education and is even taught by adults other than their parents (many take art/music/sports outside the home, and some areas have groups of homeschooling parents that get together when one parent has a background in a more complicated area, say science, and they do group lessons).

In their case, I think it's an issue because as far as we can see, they are getting ALL of their education from the mother with no outside influance at all (and I think that's the whole point, really). As for socialization, the few times I've seen them with other kids is when they get together with other families that share the same values. They ARE meeting other kids, but those other kids have the exact same background and life experiences.

In the end though, it's their choice to raise their kids how they like. They have food, clothing, shelter, and love and that's all that's required in the long run. There are plenty of kids in this world that don't even have that much!

 

[pweyl36]

I was in no way bashing them, just calling a duck, a duck. I think their lifestyle is extreme and that they are that extreme to get publicity and free items. There is something mentally wrong with that woman, and Jim Bob is not quite right himself. With the market the way it is there is no way you can tell me that a Real Estate Agent is able to afford to take care of 20 people.
As for homeschooling, I just don't get it. maybe it's because I live in a community with great schools and I think no matter how bad a school might be, students can learn if they want to learn. A parent can't be a better educator than someone who has spent years in school studying the best and most accurate ways of teaching. This is of course unless that parent was a former teacher themselves. Even then though, why would you want to? There needs to be a separation. As a parent you can't be the only source of opinion.

Did you even watch the show? They owen several rental prop. plus a cell phone tower is on there land. please watch the show from beginning to end
then come back and make comments.

 

[CLEVERGIRL]

OK. Did anybody else notice how Jim-Bob commented on Michelle having boyfriends before and the baggage she brought into the marriage? I didn't hear him air his previous relationships! I found that to be odd.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

Acutally I think I remember the show when they first were going through the house and mentioned that TLC had bought the appliances? does that ring a bell for anyone?
And for the father making enough money. Doesn't the Mom have a business selling clothing? So it's not all the FATHER. Although they certainly like to build up the men in that religion.

And I was giggling when he ripped the train off her dress. In my wedding that would have been a disaster. In that wedding- no problem there are like 20 people capable of fixing it! That I could use!

They have also had their home declared as a "church" so they pay no taxes. Take away your taxes and see how much more $$ you have.

I understand their desire to follow God's will, but I can't watch the show. God's will for us was that we were not to be blessed with children. It's just too much to watch them do something so easily that was impossible for us.

 

[korzmom]

I dont watch the show but i am curious and want to know,if the children are home schooled will any of them plan on going to college ? 20 years old snd only dated for 3 months and then getting married? seems like the parents tell them what to do and they do it..thats just odd.how will he make a living now? or will they just live off their parents..

 

[lisadr]

They have also had their home declared as a "church" so they pay no taxes. Take away your taxes and see how much more $$ you have.

I understand their desire to follow God's will, but I can't watch the show. God's will for us was that we were not to be blessed with children. It's just too much to watch them do something so easily that was impossible for us.

Do they hold services for others besides themselves? Or is it just them and they declared themselves a church?? How does this work?

 

[Stucas]

I am not saying the should have sex before marriage, that is a personal choice, although I think the Druggers brainwash their kids a least to a degree, but no kissing and side hugging? To met set up an unabtainable expectation of marriage.

They actually said the kids will get to make their own choice about dating or courtship. A few of the girls already said they want a courtship, but they made it clear they get to choose.


-Lauren

 

[pweyl36]

Do they hold services for others besides themselves? Or is it just them and they declared themselves a church?? How does this work?

Yes, in earlier shows back before the moved the would have church with other families.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

I just read their book. They have about 50 people over to their house on Sundays for church. Then they feed them lunch.
If you have the oppurtunity, read the book. It explains a lot of what they do. They have some very good ideas in the book on organizing and teaching children.

 

[ckoncurat]

I admire the duggars. They have a clear set of values and goals and are raising their family according to those values. I wouldn't make the same choices, but I respect their integrity.

 

[islandmum]

It doesnt bother me that they keep popping out the babies - they are obviously very well fed, cared for, loved and looked after.

The 'problem', or rather the differing view, I have is that the kids are waaaay too sheltered, they are totally home-living - not just homeschooled. They seem to have no other relationships outside either their family or those within the same religion. Looking at the religion they live by - Quiverfull - they live to the full their belief to have as many children as the lord gives them ..... yet they make their homes in rural, out the way areas, distancing themselves from any local community or people.

Did you see how out of place that kid looked when they went to a nice resturant to eat .... 'hey look at the glasses and napkins an alll ..'

by all means knock yourself out and have a hundred kids but give them a CHOICE! they have no choice because they are not shown the alternatives. If they believe they raise children the right way they wouldnt feel the need to have them shadowed by a guardian and they should let them experience the outside world in its totality and their children will make their decisions.

but I dont think they want that ..... I think they want them all in this religion, to behave how they as the parents say, even long after they're married.

 

[Janet Hill]

It wasn't just during the talk. They mentioned numerous times that since only the women care about the wedding the men have to just pretend to be interested.

Wow my husband didn't even pretend to be interested in the wedding. He just told me to make sure he knew the day and time to show up and he'd be there. His only requirement was that we get married in a church. Other than that he didn't care, and I must say he's proven to be quite a good husband. In fact, much better than the first one who helped plan every detail of the wedding.

 

[pigletgirl]

Didnt you have rules at your house? If so you survived didnt ya?

Yes, of course I did. For the most part, the rules were fine. But we were not brainwashed either. I feel as though the Duggar kids are brainwashed.

 

[ilovejack02]

Wow my husband didn't even pretend to be interested in the wedding. He just told me to make sure he knew the day and time to show up and he'd be there. His only requirement was that we get married in a church. Other than that he didn't care, and I must say he's proven to be quite a good husband. In fact, much better than the first one who helped plan every detail of the wedding.

LOL i was going to say the same thing. How many men can say they were really really interested in the flowers, music , food ( well maybe LOL ) etc etc. My hubby didnt care, but listened, smiled and nodded and occasionally offered an opinion. He is a wonderful hubby .. and just like Jim Bob said, I really cant believe he loves listening to me rattle on about my friends, clothes, gossip, etc everyday but he does and I appreciate it.
I really really hate listening to him talk about hunting fishing and golf. But I do listen, I smile , and try to participate and learn a thing or two to make him happy, might even ask a question or two if its a good day ; )

And yes I do think that is part of a good marriage, Jim Bob might have sounded bad saying it outloud, but we all know that is kinda how it works lol.
Im pretty sure he doesnt think everything Michelle has to say isnt interesting.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

In the book, they talk about things the kids are involved in - they volunteer at soup kitchens, give music lessons to other kids, and some other things I can't remember. They need to show more of that on the show.

 

[Piglet]

I too admire that they have values and are teaching their children how to be good people. I do think some things are pretty extreme, like the dancing and hugging rules that they have, but I guess who am I to judge, I am sure I have some weird things in my life that some people don't understand.

Someone else mentioned that they weren't exposed to other people, but I do think that they are. Their cousin is always around (and she is very different than them) and they have a car dealership. Like most reality shows, I am sure that we aren't seeing everything that goes on in their life.

I just wish that I could live my life debt free and have such a simple and non complicated life.

I say to each his own!!!!

Melinda