The Duggar's

[ilovejack02]

I too admire that they have values and are teaching their children how to be good people. I do think some things are pretty extreme, like the dancing and hugging rules that they have, but I guess who am I to judge, I am sure I have some weird things in my life that some people don't understand.

I say to each his own!!!!

Melinda

The dancing thing I dont find odd. I attended a large Baptist school and it did not hold school dances and still doesnt to this day. My mother grew up pentecostal and was not allowed to attend her school dances. LOL she got busted sneaking out to one ; ) her date and she's pic ended up on the front page of the newspaper. Needless to say Granddaddy was not happy.
Lots of Baptist wedding I have attended do not have dancing.
Im so glad I was raised in the Episcopal church .. I do enjoy to boogie lol.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

If they did a show on me, viewers would probably think it was weird that I am dising all the time and I'm obsessive about planning Disney trips.

 

[hucifer]

I understand their desire to follow God's will, but I can't watch the show. God's will for us was that we were not to be blessed with children. It's just too much to watch them do something so easily that was impossible for us.

 

[Aisling]

.
Im so glad I was raised in the Episcopal church .. I do enjoy to boogie lol.

I'm glad I'm Catholic! We get to dance AND drink!


Seriously, I used to think this family was nuts, but I think being on TV has changed them into being more "normal" in my judgemental eyes. The girls wearing makeup, the smartbutt comments from the kids, yeah they seem normal now.

I think Josh is a fine young man. I LOVED the part when Jim-Bob did the birds and bees talk with him, and Josh didn't seem embarrassed about it. In fact, he kept joking about how he can't wait until the wedding night and that he knows what to do!

And his sisters saying that Josh and Anna will be covered with "love marks" after the wedding night, I love it.

 

[Aisling]

I understand your point. My point is their are a multitude of things that will determine if a young couple can make it their whole lifetime together. IMHO physical chemistry is one of them! I was married at age 20 and we have made it to 11 years in June. If we had not even kissed or hugged normally, let alone anything else, how would I have known that we were physically compatible? I heard of many marriages that break up or least end up in counseling because they are not sexually compatible. I am not saying the should have sex before marriage, that is a personal choice, although I think the Druggers brainwash their kids a least to a degree, but no kissing and side hugging? To met set up an unabtainable expectation of marriage.

I agree. I know some devout Mormons who don't engage in pre-marital sex, but they "date" as many people as they want, kissing included, to make sure there's physical compatability as well as moral. The parents trust them not to go "all the way", and from the few I know, they didn't.

My point is that you can be religious, sticking to the Bible, without taking to extremes.

But imagine their wedding night, they probably ripped each others clothes off from the long-held desires! On my wedding night, my DH was more interested in opening all the gift envelopes!

 

[Buckalew11]

I dont watch the show but i am curious and want to know,if the children are home schooled will any of them plan on going to college ? 20 years old snd only dated for 3 months and then getting married? seems like the parents tell them what to do and they do it..thats just odd.how will he make a living now? or will they just live off their parents..

Homeschooled kids go to college every day.

Did you see how out of place that kid looked when they went to a nice resturant to eat .... 'hey look at the glasses and napkins an alll ..'

Well, some families don't go out to eat a lot. My sister had 4 kids and whe they were younger all they knew was McDonald's. I took the oldest out to eat at a nice restuarant for the first time and she didn't even want to go--"let's just go to McDonald's, Aunt Bren." And when we sat down at the table she says, "Real cloth napkins!!!" I'll never forget that! BTW, she had a great time and that night was the beginning of nice places to eat and no more MickeyD's.

 

[NTDreams]

It doesnt bother me that they keep popping out the babies - they are obviously very well fed, cared for, loved and looked after.

The 'problem', or rather the differing view, I have is that the kids are waaaay too sheltered, they are totally home-living - not just homeschooled. They seem to have no other relationships outside either their family or those within the same religion. Looking at the religion they live by - Quiverfull - they live to the full their belief to have as many children as the lord gives them ..... yet they make their homes in rural, out the way areas, distancing themselves from any local community or people.

Did you see how out of place that kid looked when they went to a nice resturant to eat .... 'hey look at the glasses and napkins an alll ..'

by all means knock yourself out and have a hundred kids but give them a CHOICE! they have no choice because they are not shown the alternatives. If they believe they raise children the right way they wouldnt feel the need to have them shadowed by a guardian and they should let them experience the outside world in its totality and their children will make their decisions.

but I dont think they want that ..... I think they want them all in this religion, to behave how they as the parents say, even long after they're married.

 

[serinlea]

but I dont think they want that ..... I think they want them all in this religion, to behave how they as the parents say, even long after they're married.

Exactly. I feel for the Duggar kids who are gay...'cause statistically, with that many kids, you know there's at least 1 or 2. Hopefully those cousins are accepting enough to make their home a potential safe place to go when JimBob starts trying to exorcise the gayness.

I have no problem with the number of kids they have, but the extreme sheltering and the unbelievably rigid gender roles they teach...well, those just leave me .

 

[Nancy]

Wow my husband didn't even pretend to be interested in the wedding. He just told me to make sure he knew the day and time to show up and he'd be there. His only requirement was that we get married in a church. Other than that he didn't care, and I must say he's proven to be quite a good husband. In fact, much better than the first one who helped plan every detail of the wedding.

My husband wasn't interested at all in the wedding planning. He would have been happy to go out for wings and beer afterwards with the gang. Yeah, an mine does ok in the husband department, we've lasted almost 24 years so we both must be doing something right.

I'm glad I'm Catholic! We get to dance AND drink!


Seriously, I used to think this family was nuts, but I think being on TV has changed them into being more "normal" in my judgemental eyes. The girls wearing makeup, the smartbutt comments from the kids, yeah they seem normal now.

I think Josh is a fine young man. I LOVED the part when Jim-Bob did the birds and bees talk with him, and Josh didn't seem embarrassed about it. In fact, he kept joking about how he can't wait until the wedding night and that he knows what to do!

And his sisters saying that Josh and Anna will be covered with "love marks" after the wedding night, I love it.

I used to think the family was nuts too, but the more I watch the more I like them. Yes, I still think their ways are strange, but since I'm not related to them I don't care and they don't go around telling everyone they should live the way they do either.

As for college, none of them will be going off to a normal college. Their college courses have to be approved and are done at home ( I think they do them at home). Check out their website it gives the links to the approved curriculum and teachings.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

I just feel as though they promote women to be subservient to the men. The girls are raised to serve the men. I have watched the show on many occassions and the women are serving the men and boys, while they play or go off to work.
I know that the 2 older boys run a Family owned used car dealership, and that now that the older boy is married, he is living in the old house that was given to the family by the grandparents. They were renting it out, but now Josh and Anna will live there.
I was bothered by what the brides father kept saying about how he had authority over Anna and now Josh does. YIKES!!!! Authority!!! Not for me, just a little too over the top, then in the vows they both committed to those strange vows to allow as many children as God sees fit to bring them. She is condemned to a life of being pregnant or lots of kids and her husband telling her when and how to do it. Women have way more rights than that today. Just kind of like back in the dark ages.

To each his own, just not for me.

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

I have watched this familiy with fascination since they hit the airwaves. Part of my curiosity was to see how Michelle managed that many kids. I only have 2, but some days that feels like 2 too many! Overall, I have had no issues with the family and the way the kids are raised. Just because it is not my cup of tea does not mean it is bad. However, the last few shows (birth of #18, wedding planning and wedding itself) have had some very telling signs to me.

Birth of #18: despite his earlier proclamations of making sure the wife is cherished during childbirth, Jim Bob is taking a shower, blow drying his hair, and getting a "hearty breakfast" from Grandma while Michelle deals with labor on her own before they leave the house. Granted, they have been through this 15 other times, but so much for the attentive husband. And he had no qualms showing his post-section wife on TV despite the fact that she looked like she needed serious recovery time.

Wedding Planning episode: Jim Bob was complaining about how tough it was when the older girls were in FL with Josh and Anna planning the wedding: "it was like when Michelle and I were younger and didn't have any help, and things were out of control." I hate to break it to him, you don't have any "help" now. He and Michelle have created indentured servants out of the older girls. It only took the older girls 2 days to whip the household back into shape and get everyone ready to leave for FL for the wedding. Hmmmmm.

Wedding Episode: the birds and bees talk was hilarious, especially the bleeped out parts. But the future FIL talking about how suthority switches from father to husband made me turn to my DDs (10 and 7) and say, "You know that is not true. Marriage is a partnership that has to be worked at everyday." I'm sure that it comes from the way I was raised, but my husband and I are partners. Are we 100% equal on everything? No! But we are definitely partners in our life together with neither of us being the authority across the board.

Of course this is just my opinion based on what the editors show us.

 

[MAH4546]

I'm waiting for the day one of the daughters says "I want to go to college and be a doctor" or any of the kids says "I'm gay."

I'd love to see the reaction of the parents.

 

[Kycha]

I can't understand this family, the mother mainly. Is she on something? She seems so flaky. And I love the pop ups that tell you little facts like she has been pg for 13 years and in labor for 2 weeks. 18 kids? OMG I have a problem with them calling themselves Christian. They really aren't that Christian if they are putting their lives on TV in this manner.

How are they not really Christians because they are on tv??? Maybe in God's eyes they are more Christian because they can spread his gospel to millions of people at once rather than just a couple. And what I don't understand, is why people watch a tv show like this just to criticize it. If I don't like the subject of a tv show, I don't watch it. But the Duggars(and Jon & Kate Plus 8) just bring out the haters. I don't get it.

Wow...this shows that you don't really watch the show. Truthfully, their cousin Amy, who they are VERY close to, is about as opposite of them as you could imagine. She openly admits to kissing boys and not having the same lifestyle as her cousins. They all know that they are the minority in their beliefs and lifestyle. I've never heard them say bad things about people who live differently.

It doesnt bother me that they keep popping out the babies - they are obviously very well fed, cared for, loved and looked after.

The 'problem', or rather the differing view, I have is that the kids are waaaay too sheltered, they are totally home-living - not just homeschooled. They seem to have no other relationships outside either their family or those within the same religion. Looking at the religion they live by - Quiverfull - they live to the full their belief to have as many children as the lord gives them ..... yet they make their homes in rural, out the way areas, distancing themselves from any local community or people.

Did you see how out of place that kid looked when they went to a nice resturant to eat .... 'hey look at the glasses and napkins an alll ..'

by all means knock yourself out and have a hundred kids but give them a CHOICE! they have no choice because they are not shown the alternatives. If they believe they raise children the right way they wouldnt feel the need to have them shadowed by a guardian and they should let them experience the outside world in its totality and their children will make their decisions.

but I dont think they want that ..... I think they want them all in this religion, to behave how they as the parents say, even long after they're married.

As the pp pointed out, they are around family(not just cousin Amy) all the time. And I don't think any of them share the same beliefs that this family does. In fact, one of their fathers(I think it was Jim Bob's) pretty much said he thought they were crazy for having so many children. They are also out in the community. As someone else posted, Josh and some of the older boys manage a used car lot. So, they are not as sheltered as you think they may be. And as far as the restaurant, how often do you think a family of that size gets to go out to a nice restaurant like that? I wouldn't imagine too often.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I really wish there would be some kind of consequence of more than a certain amount of live pregnancies.

You don't really get a choice with multiples but after someone had say... 3 pregnancies, instead of getting ANOTHER tax credit, they should have to pay a tax.

Over population is killing the planet, our resources and our economy. These people should have to pay for the eventual hundreds of people that will come of them.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I'm waiting for the day one of the daughters says "I want to go to college and be a doctor" or any of the kids says "I'm gay."

I'd love to see the reaction of the parents.

The daughter would become a blasfomus (sp?) liberal in their eyes... and the gay child will be disowned.

 

[aprilgail2]

I just feel as though they promote women to be subservient to the men. The girls are raised to serve the men. I have watched the show on many occassions and the women are serving the men and boys, while they play or go off to work.
I know that the 2 older boys run a Family owned used car dealership, and that now that the older boy is married, he is living in the old house that was given to the family by the grandparents. They were renting it out, but now Josh and Anna will live there.
I was bothered by what the brides father kept saying about how he had authority over Anna and now Josh does. YIKES!!!! Authority!!! Not for me, just a little too over the top, then in the vows they both committed to those strange vows to allow as many children as God sees fit to bring them. She is condemned to a life of being pregnant or lots of kids and her husband telling her when and how to do it. Women have way more rights than that today. Just kind of like back in the dark ages.

To each his own, just not for me.

Thats the part that really bothers me- the poor girls are brought up to be slaves in every way to the males.

But imagine their wedding night, they probably ripped each others clothes off from the long-held desires! !

we were joking about this the other day at work- how their wedding night will be all of 8 seconds of bliss if he even makes it that long LOL!

 

[Kimberle]

Neither Jim-Bob nor Michelle were raised in Quiverfull households. In fact, they were married 4 year, using birth control, before they became "Quiverfull-ers". Jim-Bob has said over & over how Michelle had many boyfriends. What about his "past"? He never dated or looked at any girls? Was he the boy no girl would "look at"? Wonder what the story is. Seems like a piece missing....

 

[DVCisME]

Just curious if anyone knows. What happens if a wife has a fertility problem? Do they accept that as God's will? Will they try other options? I think it is very interesting. It must be great for all of them to grow up with a built in support system. I think if things didn't go as they planned they would just pray for acceptance.

 

[anniemae]

OMG I am so fascinated by this family!!!

How on earch does Michelle homeschool all of the kids? They are all at different levels, ages and in different grades so it isn't like she can have one lesson plan and do one subject as it would not pertain to most of the kids at one time.

Also, I thought I read how they feel the girls do not need much education as they feel the girls will be housewives and not need more than a high school education. Is that what they believe? Just curious because I thought I read that on another thread but I can't remember.

 

[ireland_nicole]

We are not part of the same demonimation as the Duggars, in fact, I live in my jeans, we drink occasionally and we love to dance; but I think the idea of the husband being the final authority is shared by most Christian denominations. At the end of the day, someone needs to be the head. I share the belief that God created men to be the spiritual head of the household. However, I was also created as an intelligent, worthy, valued woman. My husband would never do something that would hurt me, or I felt strongly against. And there is a lot of freedom in knowing that my opinion is valued, but I don't have to be up at night worrying about it. I know that my husband will make the right decision in the end. I used to be bothered by the idea, but my marraige has been much happier and harmonious since I came to accept this truth. We don't fight about things any more because I don't feel like I have to protect my turf or control everything. (Trust me, I'm definitely type A).

As far as "brainwashing" goes, every family raises their children with their own set of rules and values. Children, when grown, will do what seems right to them. These kids are not exactly locked into a secluded compound. They see the world, they know what's going on around them, and when they leave the nest, they will make their own lifestyle choices, just like everyone else.

I do believe, long before I heard it on the Duggar's show, that everyone that you date you give a piece of your heart to. My husband and I both regret seeing so many people before we got married. And would do it differently if we could. As far as sex goes, learning together is part of the fun. Christianity teaches that sex is a gift of God, intended for marraige, but is intended for mutual enjoyment and to promote intimacy; if anyone has doubts, just check out song of solomon. As far as number of children, we wanted more, but due to extreme complications with my pregnancies, were only able to have 2. I know that the Duggars have offered their children a choice, and have been open about their previous use of birth control. Even the other Duggar daughters remarked how that part of the vows was unusual, even in their experience. But if that is a value that Josh and Anna share, why shouldn't they express it in their vows?