The dreaded family vacation

[PalVal]

Has anyone ever planned a large family vacation (12 members - all types of personallities) and have it work out? I'm excited and dreading it at the same time! What is the key to making everyone happy? Do you have an agreement/plan ahead of time?

 

[Disney_Lunatic]

I'm in the midst of planning this myself right now. I don't see that everybody will ever be 100% happy but am mostly concerned with the happiness of the immediate family members (the ones I live with 24/7). We are planning a trip for spring break 2010 for 12 (maybe 14) which will include three or four distinct families. The main advantage to this planning process is that we have more than one year to get all of this hashed out. As we are going to be hosting the other 8 to 10 individuals on our vacation points we will set some guidelines as to what are non-negotiable elements of the vacation (dining plans, types of rooms, which families in which rooms, etc.). I'll wish you luck in your planning and am hoping for some luck on my side as well

 

[bonybroad]

I have already planned one "grand gathering," and now I am working on the second.
What I learned from the first trip...
Everyone needs time away from the others. Period. I don't care how well you get along.
Some people just won't see the magic. They won't feel the magic. They won't even believe in the magic <gasp> That's ok. That means more for me.
Everyone else's kids will get on your nerves. Your kids will get on everyone else's nerves. Don't expect your kids to try to please a bunch of other people.

I love my family, but I also know that we are each individuals, and I believe making the statement up front that we need time to ourselves is imperative to everyone. It's a relief to go back to the room and SHUT THE DOOR.

And don't think I am being negative - I love planning trips. I just know what ground rules MUST be stated before we get on that plane!

 

[lisaviolet]

Has anyone ever planned a large family vacation (12 members - all types of personallities) and have it work out? I'm excited and dreading it at the same time! What is the key to making everyone happy? Do you have an agreement/plan ahead of time?

Yes, I have. 13.

The secret to making everyone happy is not to even try.

Go with the flow. Some don't want to go here or there. "Okay"

We had no plans ahead of time. But that's just me - I'm a no plan girl on my own vacations.

Have a wonderful time. I still smile at our time together. It was lovely.

 

[jpeka65844]

We did a trip for 10 this past summer.

I would give the following tips:

1. Inform your party. I did weekly e-mails to all who were going about tips, not-to-miss rides, restaurants, etc...a condensed version of the DIS if you will. With the exception of DH and I, everyone was a first-timer so we boiled it down to the necessities.

2. Get separate spaces. Don't try to break the occupancy rules and squeeze 12 people in a studio. If your points allow, spread out and give everyone their own space.

3. Take some for the team. As the host, be prepared to be flexible with YOUR plans so you can accommodate others. Give and take.

4. Take LOTS of pictures! For us, it's not often that we're all together so pictures of people were super important. I went back later and made collages on Snapfish that turned out as AWESOME souvenirs of our trip.

Maybe we were just blessed, or maybe we just all get along but our GG went great! Other than one morning where everyone wanted to sleep in and commando me was chomping at the bit to get going, we did great!

In fact, except for our first trip in March, 2005, we've always had family or friends with us on a trip. DH says it's nice to have someone else to talk to then DS3.

 

[kikiq]

We had a family trip this summer with 12 people. We had a 2 bdrm and a studio. Originally I had wanted to reserve a GV, but now looking back, it was better to have two rooms. We had food available in the 2 bdrm for everyone.
Cooked dinner several nights, just said the time and if you were late, you reheated dinner. The only other planning we did was the spa day for the ladies and 3 TS reservations. Other than that I let the newbies decide where they wanted to go, and we did our own thing. We might go to the park together, but usually split up and met up later.

I would do it again only this time i would get a lockoff 2 bdrm so that my brother's family can come and go without disturbing the folks sleeping in the living room. Plus they would have their own frig.

Have fun planning and making family memories. One of the best for us is having my 7 yr old niece run off the ME toward me and say, "Are you feelin' it?"

 

[wdwnut]

Hi: We've done several- last October we had 19 people - a gv, 2 br, and a 1 br. We've also done 20+ people in several 1 and 2 br units. Plan for time apart. You can make some dining ressies and let people make others on their own. Sometimes it is nice to do a FEW things in one of the parks together. Get each family a guide book and give them links to the disboards, allears, etc. and let them plan. You can compare plans and see if overlapping ideas can be combined or not. Remember, you will not be able to please everyone and shouldn't even try. Enjoy!

 

[tea pot]

One of the best for us is having my 7 yr old niece run off the ME toward me and say, "Are you feelin' it?"

Thanks a bunch...
I think I read your story on another thread about the little girl who go off the Magical Express bus and asked someone in her family "do you feel it" and they asked what? and she said "the Magic"!!!
Well... we had a family trip over this past Thanksgiving and I told that story to my 3 Adult DDs and that became the tag line all vacation it even made it into the scrapbook
If this is you... Thanks for helping us... "Feel the Magic"

 

[Inkmahm]

We did a trip for 10 this past summer.

I would give the following tips:

1. Inform your party. I did weekly e-mails to all who were going about tips, not-to-miss rides, restaurants, etc...a condensed version of the DIS if you will. With the exception of DH and I, everyone was a first-timer so we boiled it down to the necessities.

2. Get separate spaces. Don't try to break the occupancy rules and squeeze 12 people in a studio. If your points allow, spread out and give everyone their own space.

3. Take some for the team. As the host, be prepared to be flexible with YOUR plans so you can accommodate others. Give and take.

4. Take LOTS of pictures! For us, it's not often that we're all together so pictures of people were super important. I went back later and made collages on Snapfish that turned out as AWESOME souvenirs of our trip.

Maybe we were just blessed, or maybe we just all get along but our GG went great! Other than one morning where everyone wanted to sleep in and commando me was chomping at the bit to get going, we did great!

In fact, except for our first trip in March, 2005, we've always had family or friends with us on a trip. DH says it's nice to have someone else to talk to then DS3.

I did 12 of us (my husband's parents, siblings and their kids) in December of 2007. We had two 2 bedroom villas. I planned 5 or 6 meals as a group (which we paid for) at Signature restaurants and Cindy's castle for breakfast. We also treated everyone to MVMCP. Otherwise, everyone was on their own to do what they wanted, when they wanted.

Before the trip, I sent each family a copy of "the unofficial guide to WDW." I know one family read it and used all the tips. Another probably never opened it, they never even went to the parks other than for the Christmas party and Cindy's breakfast.

I quoted you because of your comment about taking pictures. The breakfast in the castle was important to be because I knew we'd get a group picture taken before we ate. That picture of all of us with Cinderella is the only picture ever of the 12 of us together. We came from 3 different states and both ends of the country to get there but we now have exactly 1 family picture that is complete. That was worth the trip alone.

 

[kikiq]

Thanks a bunch...
I think I read your story on another thread about the little girl who go off the Magical Express bus and asked someone in her family "do you feel it" and they asked what? and she said "the Magic"!!!
Well... we had a family trip over this past Thanksgiving and I told that story to my 3 Adult DDs and that became the tag line all vacation it even made it into the scrapbook
If this is you... Thanks for helping us... "Feel the Magic"

You're Welcome. It was my niece that said that. I know there are other DISers out there that have the same feeling, in fact, I just read another post about seeing the sign and the whole family feeling the magic.

 

[DisneyHumbug]

Twelve of us went for Christmas 2002. We stayed at VWL, and they occupied 4 rooms at WL. (I'm stingy with my points!). My s-i-l (no "D" there anymore) and I collaborated and made TS for dinner every night. At the time the kids were 16-20 and and they were on their own all day. They had to meet us for dinner every night. Several group shots some of the kids were not there, and we just photo-shopped them in later. We did a grab bag on Christmas morning in the lobby of the Villas. Everyone still says it was their best vacation. But the key is to give everyone their space and drink lots of alcohol!!

 

[minster22]

One little tidbit of advice from me....do not let your DH sit in the hot tub at BWV community pool and rant about his sisters's choice not to buy their children park passes while they(sisters) are on the balcony right above the hot tub! We had a great time in spite of a couple of these bumps!

 

[bobbiwoz]

We had 14, and only planned one thing all together each day. Not everyone had park hoppers, but THAT couple took the initiative to be sure they were in the necessary park when we all needed to be together. The party was for DM's 85th birthday, at it was for family and friends, and one DF told me the nicest thing afterwards...she was solo in the group and said that she felt so welcome to join whichever of the little groups was going the way she wanted to on any day. We had a 2 bedroom and 4 studios. It was one of the nicest vacations we ever had.

I had given everyone a "schedule" of sorts....Disney helped us out, one glitch was that we had a Mama Melrose meal, that I thought was a Fantasmic dinner, but when we got there I was told we only had the meal. One of the servers overheard and truly magically, there was a cancellation and our group did get the Fantasmic seating!

Bobbi

 

[MdmMim]

We had a large group of 12 once for a week, with some people who had very strong personalities.

Our trip was a success IMHO because:

We booked studios only, except for DH and me. Everyone had their own space. (This allowed them to pout in their own rooms.) I booked rooms at the BW and BC, so the younger ones (20s-30s) had access to SAB.

We met only for a few planned dinners and one gathering at the pool bar. DH did cook dinner one night, which was appreciated by all.

Everyone was free to do as they pleased, breaking off into their own groups. (This was stressed at the beginning of the planning stages--"do what you want, when you want.")

We did have tea at the GF for the ladies and the steam train tour for the gentlemen. This worked very well.

I let them all know how DVC works re: housekeeping, etc. No surprises.

I sent out newsletters every so often with WDW, hotel, ticket, DVC info. Gave them reminders about packing coffee, filters, etc.

Would I do it again? Yes, I would. Most people had fun. There were a few incidents , but overall, we enjoyed the trip.

 

[photobob]

We've done several trips with family and friends. We've always had good trips but they have moments of dysfunction. I think you just have to be more patient and flexible when traveling with larger groups. Personally I have better luck traveling with friends than with family. You can pick your friends, you can't pick your family!

 

[wulfekamp]

We did a large group once and it was a train wreck. Everyone else on the trip was at least 20 we had a 5 year old. 5 year olds don't want to stand ALL day in front of rides they are to small to ride waiting on the others. We decided to go do what our DD wanted to do Dumbo. Its a small world and so on. We were ask later in front of the whole group what are problem was. We just wanted our DD to have a great time and not spend the whole trip sitting on a bench in 90 degree heat. My advice find out were the bar is as soon as you arrive. make sure if one buys for one they buy for everyone. My inlaws bought dinner every night for everyone except US. We had just bought a house and we have a 5 year old. There eating Prime rib were eating Chicken planks. NEVER NEVER AGAIN. My husband still to this day has not forgiven them for the way we were treated. We didn't creat memorys we created hard feelings.

 

[mtmbyck]

We have been doing this for years - between 9 and 12 of us each time. We usually rent a 5 bedroom or 7 bedroom home - try staying all under one roof!!

You should create an agenda....I have always created an agenda of day by day activities based on park hours, fireworks and show times.....there are even evenings I had set aside for surrey bikes at BW or ice cream at Poly or BC.

I then send out the agenda to the 3 families travelling with us about 2 months before the trip and ask for opinions....ideas....other areas of interest.....

I take that input and develop a final itinerary....I try to break it down by AM, AFT, PM.....and in some cases there can be more than one option (ie. mini putt or explore AKL or Electrical Pageant from Poly Beach...etc)

AN agenda is ESSENTIAL - otherwise you will be standing around trying to make decisions all day every day. We would post the agenda on the fridge of the house and know to prepare night before for a day in the park. There would be a time in the moring each day that we had to be ready...

Many times a family member or an entire family would pass on the planned activitiy which was fine. I actually added free time for pool, shopping, golf, etc into the schedule so that families could do their own thing.

It is a busy vacation but the kids have a better time with friends I find and so do we. Enjoy your planning.

 

[mtmbyck]

oh, and I forgot to mention that we actually would decide our first 5 attractions at each park the night before we went to the parks - this way you don't arrive and stand there deciding which way to go....our whole group are Disney veterans so we let the kids decide and made sure we hit these rides and fast passes first!

 

[DisneyWalker44]

What is the key to making everyone happy? Do you have an agreement/plan ahead of time?

You can't make everyone happy. Don't try. You are responsible for your happiness. Other people are responsible for their happiness.

Book the rooms, send everyone good information and suggestions, then wash your hand of it. Plan a few (and I mean a few!) group events, but otherwise tell people they are on their own. If you can't let go, if you have to organize everything, if you feel you must make everyone happy, cancel the trip now. You'll just drive yourself crazy.

Oh, and if it's me (with all proper respect to folks who don't want to partake) having a lot of very good wine around is a must at family gatherings.

 

[Goofy's apprentice]

We are trying it for the first time this March. Our family has done the group vacation thing before but never this kind. It was always more relaxed and never 'activity-laden'. A few of our coping mechanisms...
Our kids are the oldest and have done Disney many times. They know and understand that this trip is about their cousins.
I have a general itinerary for the trip. Although 10 days I only have 4 - 5 days as park days. Rest times are already booked in. if one group wants to commando the whole day, they can. If one wants to cut out early they can.
Due to different arrival dates, our kids will have some days to themselves. They can plan those.
We have four days in a GV, the rest are in a 2-bed and studio. The studio is allocated to my kids so they have a place to go and don't have to be sleeping on the pull out. I won't have to bark at them to clean up their stuff.

We'll see what happens....