The dreaded family vacation

[russellp]

We have a group of 14 and our next trip is 40 days away. This is our 3rd trip with this group. I do most of the planning as I'm the only one willing to think 4-5 months ahead. We have some sort of dinner reservation for the whole group 6 out of the 9 nights we are there. The adults try to get together each afternoon for cocktails. The kids ages range from 12 to 16 (8 of them) and usually go with us in the morning and end up on thier own before noon.

We wife and sister-in-law have just decided it's time to start planning and want me to "tweak" a couple of things. WHERE WERE THEY IN SEPTEMBER???

 

[eliza61]

Has anyone ever planned a large family vacation (12 members - all types of personallities) and have it work out? I'm excited and dreading it at the same time! What is the key to making everyone happy? Do you have an agreement/plan ahead of time?

Well that depends,
There were no homicides so you can consider that a successful vacation.

Are you doing all the planning?
Has your family been before?
I would stick with scheduling some meal times together and then making every one responsible for their own happiness.

 

[jbrowna]

We just concluded a trip in early December that, at its peak, included 14 people. We had different arrival days and were spread at various resorts, although 12 of us did share a GV at OKW for four nights. While there we did an early Christmas celebration (had a tree, decorations, etc.), and cooked one meal there as well (our traditional Christmas prime rib).

For the most part, people went their own way during the day. A couple of times we met up for meals (all of us at Tusker house one day, and breakfast at Ohana another day). We had one person who was on his first trip to WDW, and another couple from CA who are Disney fans, but had only been to WDW for a short trip before. That worked out well, since more experienced folks served as "tour guides". DW and I pretty much served as coordinators, making sure people knew which parks had EMH, what times the fireworks shows were, and so on. When the time came to move into the GV, we took care of all the luggage transfers, and also did some airport running for later arrivals and early departures.

I will say, however, that our most fun evening was one where we were all together at DHS. Our CM daughter had, the year before at a cm closeout sale, bought a bunch of Mickey Ear hats that had reindeer antlers on them. We had enough so that 10 were wearing those, and 4 others were wearing Goofy or Mickey Santa hats. We took some great photopass pictures, took in the Osborn lights, went on TSM -- just had a blast enjoying the Christmas atmoshpere and being silly. We even overheard other guests, upon seeing our hats and such, saying things like, "They must be drunk!" We weren't, but we did kind of feel a bit of a natural "high" just being together and enjoying the whole atmosphere.

For next year we plan on an AKV GV in early December.

 

[Chuck S]

I think the key to a happy large group trip is NOT to overplan. Let all the subgroups do their own thing. Don't pick the park of the day for the entire group, some may want to spend more time exploring Animal Kingdom, while others want to wait in line for Dumbo or Soarin'.

Plan a few group meals, whether it be at a restaurant or cooked in the villa, but again, don't overplan those either. Some folks may love going to different restaurants while other enjoy a cozy in room meal...let them do what they want, it is their vacation as well as yours.

If someone decides not to "follow the plan," don't let it ruin your trip, just deal with it and move on. Don't expect everyone to be thrilled with Disney, not everyone is a Disney junkie like we DISers. Some folks will never "get it."

 

[jbrowna]

I think the key to a happy large group trip is NOT to overplan. Let all the subgroups do their own thing. Don't pick the park of the day for the entire group, some may want to spend more time exploring Animal Kingdom, while others want to wait in line for Dumbo or Soarin'.

Plan a few group meals, whether it be at a restaurant or cooked in the villa, but again, don't overplan those either. Some folks may love going to different restaurants while other enjoy a cozy in room meal...let them do what they want, it is their vacation as well as yours.

If someone decides not to "follow the plan," don't let it ruin your trip, just deal with it and move on. Don't expect everyone to be thrilled with Disney, not everyone is a Disney junkie like we DISers. Some folks will never "get it."

Right on!

I know with our large group, on some nights one couple or another made a dinner reservation just for the two of them. Allowing for that kind of time away from the larger group can keep everybody happier! (Especially with newlyweds, of which we had three sets in our group)

Then again, even us "oldyweds" like some private time as well!

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Working on one right now. We're going September 2010. We gave everyone a little vacation binder that has some pictures of the resort, layout of the resort, layouts of the bedrooms and an invitation for the family.

We are covering all the room costs with the DVC by renting 2 - 2 bedrooms. My partner's mom is picking up the food, airfare and park ticket costs. There will be 15 going all together.

We've started to season everyone into Disney and how things work and plan to keep adding to their binder of things. In the end we also got everyone to agree that besides a few meals, everyone is allowed to go off on there own and do whatever they want.

 

[mamatojon]

We did last year for 15. We had one family of four (us) and my MIL/FIL stay in a 2BR. My BIL and his family (5) stayed in a 1BR and my SIL and her family (4) stayed in a studio. My advice is to:

1. ensure separate spaces for everyone to decompress.
2. don't expect to stick together at the parks, plan some special together times (we had a few meals planned as a group) and then do your own thing for the majority of the time.
3. make sure your guests don't have unrealistic expectations, especially if you are going during a crowded time. Some people treat WDW like a bridezilla on her wedding day and expect everything to be "perfect" and "magical" - try to reinforce that they don't expect that type of thing.
4. explain all the rules/regs ahead of time - the no smoking stuff, the housekeeping differences, people have less to complain about if they know ahead of time what they should expect.

We had a great time, but we are all disney nuts. If you are going with people who have little interest in Disney or have never been, just go with the flow. If they don't like theme parks, suggest some of the other things to do in WDW for them but don't try to convert them. We are going early next month with my other BIL, and the last time we went with him he spent the whole time in the arcade. I don't expect that he will be up at the crack of dawn waiting for the rope drop or oohing and aahing at everything like I do - therefore I am not dissapointed and he doesn't feel like I am pushing anything on him.

Happy Planning!

 

[Tink-n-Belle]

Has anyone ever planned a large family vacation (12 members - all types of personallities) and have it work out? I'm excited and dreading it at the same time! What is the key to making everyone happy? Do you have an agreement/plan ahead of time?

We went with another family and we stayed at different resorts. We were there 7 days and I made up a schedule for each day we were together. We spent 5 days together and 2 separated. I told them to be at the parks at opening and if they weren't there that we would meet up with them later. Well they never made it to opening so we didn't get to go on alot of rides together, because the FP were for different times and the crowds got quite heavy the last 3 days we were there.

If you want to spend time together but know some don't like roller coaster etc, you need to be realistic. Don't drag everyone to the same show or attraction that you know they won't like. If you all like the same thing, make up a schedule and agree to meet at a certain time. But allow for flexibility. My friends and I separated a few times during the day to pursue what they wanted to do and we met back again for dinner. However, One time we lost my friends DH and she had to travel back to her hotel alone with the kids.


Have a nice vacation!! But remember its everyones vacation so make sure that you don't get too stressed out about not sticking with your schedule.

 

[PalVal]

Thanks for all your suggestions. Two of our children and spouses love Disney, the third son has told us that they aren't "Disney people" but enjoy watching me get so excited over everything Disney. We have a 2 bedroom and 2 studios reserved, so everyone will have their own bedroom/space.

I'm worried about the son who isn't a Disney person getting upset with my "planning gene". I'm going to tell everyone they can do their own thing, but you still kind of need to have a plan for the day or you will miss a lot. I'm not sure they even want to go, they may have said yes, just to please us. Yesterday they said they will be going home 2 days before the scheduled time. Of course this will mess up our points. Part of me was sad and part of me was glad!!

I've just decided that I will enjoy this time with my other two kids and hope for the best with the other one. This ought to be fun...

 

[pilgrimr]

We did one as a family with 12 people. I had planned it and asked the all the time if they wanted to do something special like a fireworks or character meal. By the time they could agree it was too late. We were able to get a meal when we there at O'Hana Breakfast. The things that worked well for us was that we would do the same park together. We generally started out together and then went our separate ways. We did have problems but to be honest, we had the same problems we would have at home. We are planning a trip in June 2010, and since they have been there before I will plan for my family and if they want to come along that is fine and if they want to do there thing that is fine too. I also think it will be easier as they have been there and know what to expect or what to do.

 

[cman]

I think it depends on the family. I'm blessed to have a very easy going family all of who don't like to plan. We've taken 4 trips in the last 8 years and have learned more and more each time. There's been 16 in all so I get 3 - 2 bedroom units at BWV.

The first thing that everyone knows is that the planning I do in no way is meant to force anyone to do something they would rather not do. Right up front I've always stated that the plan was for me my DW, DD, and DS. If they want to come along for the day then by all means come along.

I tend to get an ADR for the whole group every night so that there's a place and time for all of us to meet at the end of the day. There are times when it works out and times were it doesn't - no big deal.

One of the big things to remember has to do with you. Don't get insulted if people don't follow your plans. It's not an insult.

There is something I've noticed over the 4 trips. On the first trip together people followed my plan maybe 50% of the time. By the 4th trip last December I would say it was 99% - they've learned over time that I know what I'm doing

 

[chrisw127]

We did and it worked out fine. We were particularly challenged in this respect in that our group included my SIL, an avowed Disney-hater Seattle hipster type, and her then five-year-old, who is more used to yoga retreats than he is to an environment like Disney.

Things actually went really well and there wasn't one moment where anyone got their feelings hurt. The key is to just respect what others in your party want to do. If they're park commandos and you're not, let them go. If they want to hang out at the resort all day (which is what my SIL did, mostly), then that's fine too. As long as you don't get your feelings hurt or feel that you need to stick to a specific agenda, you'll be fine.

At the end of the day, we all usually met up and did something together. Otherwise, we didn't spend every day together.

I should mention that we stayed at Ft. Wilderness cabins. It was great having them nearby (they were in a cabin next door) without having them right there all the time. Other times, we've rented a big house and made sure there was a lot of room for everyone.

By the way, everything, and I do mean everything, that we planned in advance fell apart. We mostly ended up winging it, but we had a great time--even the SIL.

 

[kristytru]

We did a trip for 10 for my parents' 50th. All families involved are very different in terms of our ideas of fun. I agree with those who posted earlier to not try to force togetherness. I made some dinner and lunch reservations each day, but told everyone that it was optional. Whoever showed up didn't have to wait for anyone and the "leftover seats" on the reservation would help the line move along for those without ressies. We planned one "required" event which was Fantasmic. We got the dinner package, ate together, enjoyed the show and had a great time. We all arrived and departed on different days, so my parents were able to spend a good deal of time with each family.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

I planned a family trip for 12 and it worked out great because I did exactly the opposite of what my personality would usually have me do; I stayed cool.

Instead of worrying about keeping everyone together, I just concentrated on making sure everyone made hotel reservations, arrangements for a disabled scooter and park tickets. I made dinner reservations for one meal in a 4 day period for everyone who was interested. Once we arrived I just let things flow out. I wasn't under pressure to be the tour leader and no one felt pushed around.

The best thing was that I didn't try to work my immediate family's schedule around anyone else's. I just told everyone what we would be doing, and was happy to meet anyone who was interested when they called on a cell phone. Since I didn't expect to herd 12 people around at any one time, the pressure was off. Groups of people formed and re-formed spontaneously, most meals were eaten on the spur of the moment by whoever happened to be hungry, and everyone stayed relaxed and happy.

I think if we had been at WDW instead of DL, and on a longer trip, I might have been tempted to make a few more dinner reservations, but that's it. I've heard nothing but good comments since we all got home, and I would repeat that trip in a heartbeat! So my advice would be: do less, not more.

 

[crisi]

We did ten this year. We did not tie an anchor to my BIL and drop him into Bay Lake, which means it was successful.

We also did the "this is what we are doing" type of planning with a few shared meals. I HIGHLY recommend families having their own space when it comes to booking rooms. Even with lots of your own time and space, you are going to need to be willing to go with the flow and overlook at lot - people who are late, people who complain, people who change plans.

The year before we took friends - our family is four and their family was four. They attached themselves to our hips - and although they were troopers, it wasn't the best trip because I tried to keep them happy, even though their children had wildly different taste than mine.

 

[MinnieGi]

We almost always travel with a group of family or friends or both!! We've had upwards of 20+ in our group. We always have a good time b/c we set up the plan as loose and easy. I plan a few fun meals for the entire group, but the rest of the time is on your own of sub-groups such as any of the kids who want to do a pirate cruise etc. or a fishing excursion for the guys or a spa morning for the ladies. I encourage everyone to make their own park plans but coordinate with anyone who wants to and we often hook up with parts of our group during the day. Resort time is also great to gather and reconnect with the group either by the swimming pool or in the lobby or in your villa. For instance the past two T-days I invited the whole gang back to our villa for some more together time and light fare and drinks.

Have fun planning! It will be a memorable trip!

 

[ACDSNY]

We almost always travel with a group of family or friends or both!! We've had upwards of 20+ in our group. We always have a good time b/c we set up the plan as loose and easy. I plan a few fun meals for the entire group, but the rest of the time is on your own of sub-groups such as any of the kids who want to do a pirate cruise etc. or a fishing excursion for the guys or a spa morning for the ladies.

This is how we travel too! We've never gone to WDW with just the two of us, I'm not sure we'd know how to act. Even our wonderful trip to Kauai included our DD, DSIL and DH's cousin and his wife.

We've had up to 25 family members at DLR and we currently have 18 of us scheduled for a WDW/Disney Cruise in November.

 

[mikesmom]

Rule#1 - You cannot make everyone happy
Rule #2 - If you can make it all the way through the vacation with your temper and your sanity intact, you will have succeeded

 

[sportsmom3279]

I just posted this on another thread. This past summer we had 23 in our group. My family of 5 plus 2 friends of my teenagers, my sisters family of 4, my brothers family of 5, parents (divorced and remarried to others), uncle, aunt and teenage cousin. We had ages from 3-65. We had a great time. Everyone was content to let me plan and to follow my lead since we have been there and done that although no one was forced to. If you decided to go on your own for awhile, that was fine. We had ADRs for most nights so we could all meet up and eat together. Every family had there own room so that you could have your own space when you wanted it. We did alot of the planning together and I made sure everyone knew beforehand about times of reservations, DVC housekeeping, etc. We all had such a wonderful time that we are planning our next big trip for this July.

 

[Mamiamjo]

Last year we had 13 in our group. In the past we have had as many as 17. This year we will be doing a land/sea/land trip with 18 in our group.

As many have stated....
1) You will not please everyone all the time.
2) Do not try to force everyone to do things your way (even when it is definitely the best way).

What I do is make a plan that our immediate family (myself, DW, DD, DS) will follow. I'm a TGMer so I make a pretty extensive plan. I share the plan with the family and explain why I made the plan the way it is. If anyone chooses to do their own thing, they're free to follow their own desires.

Ultimately you will have groups break off and do their own thing at times.
In the past, families didn't want to go to the parks we did on certain days or didn't want to go to the parks at the time we did etc. We have always been able to see and do more things with less wait than the ones that do their own thing.
But you know what some people don't care that they wait more in line or get to see and do less (they want to sleep in when they want and go where they want when they want to go without planning). If they'r Ok with it, I'm OK with it. Just don't expect me to change my plans.