The DDA Trouble Free Zone Part 4

[bethbuchall]

Jennifer here is my take on the whole bonding with your kid crap:

both of my kids spent the first night of their lives in the nursery - I had c-sections which is why they took Julia and then I asked them to with Nick -

I did not breast feed (I can't)

and I am about as bonded with my kids as a mom can be -

so I never buy into those arguments!!!!!!!

My recovery so that I could take care of them far outweighed a need to bond - have you ever heard someone say - I hate my mom b/c she put me in the nursery at the hospital!!

I totally agree with Kate. My mom was knocked out for my birth and she barely saw me when we were in the hospital. We certainly were able to "bond." My kids are just a little older than Kate's, though, and I had to fight to have them with me all the time and to not be given any sort of bottle in the nursery. There are different experiences and each mom/baby has slightly different needs. I think that they say full rooming in is for "bonding," but I really think it has more to do with their bottom line. If the babies are totally in their mothers' care, there is a smaller need for nursery staffing.

Beth

 

[Tammi67]

Actually - if anyone wants to send me their contact info - I will tuck it away in case we need to get in touch with you!

I am praying that Glynis is having computer issues - I did not leave my phone number with her - maybe I should have - I just really wanted her to know we are all worried about her - the longer she is off - the more concerned I am becoming

DH said maybe she is just sick of us - I guess that never occured to us!! Although there are some people that I might buy that with - definately not Glynis!!

Hopefully she will be able to check in soon!!!

I think this is a great idea.

I am worried about Glynis too. I can't imagine what could be keeping her away. Let's keep our fingers crossed that she went out of town for the week or something.

Love the addition to your sig, Kate. Now you shouldn't have any trouble telling ours apart.

 

[bethbuchall]

ok I'm way back on page 947 and only here for 5 minutes so I've not read a post since yesterday tea time.

I just wanted to let you all know - if you don't already - that Glynis is safe and well! She took an unexpected trip to her mom's house to look after her while her dad went overseas. She said to tell you all that she misses you and will be back bright and early on Monday morning to catch up :

Now I'm back to bed as I still have the "lurgy"

I'm so happy to hear that everything is ok with Glynis!!!

Clare, I hope that you are feeling much better soon.

Beth

 

[marcij]

Julie, if you don't mind my asking, about how much is airbrushing? I've heard it advertised here, and have been curious as to cost. It's about time to start going bare-legged in Texas - and that is SCARY for me!

Lindsey -- a good friend recommended Trigger Tan Salon here in Dallas -- off of Walnut Hill and Inwood. I never did it, because Mystic Tan always works well for me (and I don't have a perfect body, Julie, but you are correct that it seems to work better for some people than others!!) and I also like to use a product called Fake Bake. I read in US Weekly that Kelly Ripa used it (and her "tan" always looks good) so I used it. It's the best self tanner that I've found for me that goes on evenly and stays on a while. I've not put it on myself -- my DH is a real sweetie and does it for me so it doesn't streak. I also like it because when it fades I have it with me and can put more on.

You should see the people look at me strangely at WDW or on the Disney Magic when I ask if they have a Mystic Tan! Crazy woman from Texas is what they think......

 

[Tammi67]

I would call around to the different salons in your area and see if they have it. It is totally different, I have heard stories about mystic tans, they say that if you don't have a perfect body it will come off streaky and blotchy and won't cover all over. Airbrushed is hand sprayed by someone all over your body. You can either go completely naked (f.y.i. I didn't ) or you can wear a bathing suit or bra and underwear (sorry to go so personal), it is very even!!! I am very modest when it comes to these things and they make you feel very relaxed and comfortable, it only takes 20 minutes or so!!! I am very pale and I have gotten it the last 3 Disney trip and LOVED it!!! It will last the whole week or more!!! Try to search it online, they may list places to go to!!!

I'll make some calls tomorrow!!

How expensive is this? Sounds like it would be quite high.

ETA: Nevermind. I should have kept reading, knowing someone would ask. Now I feel like Elin.

 

[weluvdisney]

How expensive is this? Sounds like it would be quite high.

It really isn't that bad!!! I pay between 25 & 30$ (I think it went up the last time to 30$) + tip. I love it , being fair skinned I have never had such a nice even tan w/out working hard at it and burning first!!! It is really good for weddings, the last 2 weddings I have been in I have had it done!!! I wish it had of been around when I got married!!!

As I said before anything that can hide my freckles I love !!!!

 

[Tammi67]

Hey Tammi -

I know you are in bed but you have been a slacker this week!!!

Are you trying to tell my that you finally passed my post count? I'll have to go check.

I wish I could stay up all hours and post with you all. I feel like such an outsider reading everything in the AM. And then why post any replies when it is hours later?? Maybe you all should get up early in the AM and post while I can join in???

Just know that I am with you all in spirit.

You certainly have me intrigued with this airbrush tan. I'm going to have to look for it in my area. Of course, it's probably twice as much here!

ENABLERS!

 

[Tammi67]

I just bought some really cute bathing suits!!!

Where? What brand? I hate bathing suit shopping so I'll take any recommendations. Do they make you look 20lbs thinner by any chance???

 

[Tammi67]

Jennifer here is my take on the whole bonding with your kid crap:

both of my kids spent the first night of their lives in the nursery - I had c-sections which is why they took Julia and then I asked them to with Nick -

I did not breast feed (I can't)

and I am about as bonded with my kids as a mom can be -

so I never buy into those arguments!!!!!!!

My recovery so that I could take care of them far outweighed a need to bond - have you ever heard someone say - I hate my mom b/c she put me in the nursery at the hospital!!

I have to chime in on this subject as well.

I planned on breast feeding when I had my first. Tried for about a week. Poor Nicholas was starving and wanted to eat about every 2 hours. He was born 9.6 lbs, c-section, thank goodness. Anyway, after I got home he was so fussy and not sleeping well and always wanting to eat. So after DH and DM prodding to give him the bottle, I broke down and did. It was like a had a new child. He gulped that thing down and was so satisfied. The point here is that I was so hesitant to NOT breast feed because of the whole "better health, better bonding" issues and felt like I was being a horrible mother. But after going through that and knowing what I know now, I went straight to the bottle with Alyssa.

I agree with Kate, it has nothing to do with bonding. Bonding has to do with being a quality parent.

 

[UP Disney]

so speaking of my West Chester princess who could work at WDW - I told her this last week (she knows that Belle can be at WDW ALL the time - b/c sometimes she and Beast want to go out to dinner )

I said she would be a good helper for snow white - here was our conversation:

J: I am NOT going to work at WDW when I am older - I am going to just go every day and ride the rides and see the shows

Me: How are you going to pay for that?

J: you and daddy can just give me money each day before I go

Me: No - you will have to get a job and make your own money

J: (with tears welling up in her eyes) I don't ever want to work mommy - I always want to be with you!!

Me: everyone has to work -if you don't want a job - you better marry someone who will be able to support you to be a SAHM

J: I don't want to get married - I just want to stay with you - I KNOW - I will just work on the computer like you do

Me: You do know I don't get paid for that

J: YOU DON'T?!?!?! That's okay - we can always make t-shirt designs together!!! I love you Mommy!!

and now she has decided working on the computer will be her job - just like mommy!!!

The things that kids think & say! How cute.

My DD20 told me when she was 3 (in front of my mother) that she wanted to have a baby but she wasn't getting married because she wanted to live with Daddy & I forever. I immediately turned to my mother and told her that I had not taught her that!!!! Her little sister was a baby at the time and she loved her.

 

[weluvdisney]

Where? What brand? I hate bathing suit shopping so I'll take any recommendations. Do they make you look 20lbs thinner by any chance???

I ordered them online at JC Penney & Kohls (That way I figured I could return them to the stores if I didn't like them), right now Kohls has 5$ shipping and 10% of w/ this code NEW9626.

I mixed and matched the suits at JC Penney's, I love the two-piece tanks and board/boy short, (not quite sure of the name)or skirts. I am all about the shorts/skirts because I hate my upper legs. I think everyone of the ones I got are two pieces (but not bikini ), all but one of them is a halter, which I like alot too. The other one that I got from Kohls is a tank and shorts bathing suit it is really cute and comfortable. If I could figure out how to link pics. I would -sorry !!! I never have gotten this many bathing suits in one year, I am lucky if I can find one per season that I like!!!

 

[Tammi67]

believe me = when you have a baby - everyone knows more than you do!!!

Especially when it's your first!

 

[weluvdisney]

I agree with Kate, it has nothing to do with bonding. Bonding has to do with being a quality parent.

That is SO true!!!

 

[Tammi67]

ok I'm way back on page 947 and only here for 5 minutes so I've not read a post since yesterday tea time.

I just wanted to let you all know - if you don't already - that Glynis is safe and well! She took an unexpected trip to her mom's house to look after her while her dad went overseas. She said to tell you all that she misses you and will be back bright and early on Monday morning to catch up :

Now I'm back to bed as I still have the "lurgy"

Thank goodness!! Now Glynis, you need to let us know these things!!!

How did you find this out? Did she PM you or something?

Feel better, Clare.

 

[Tammi67]

It really isn't that bad!!! I pay between 25 & 30$ (I think it went up the last time to 30$) + tip. I love it , being fair skinned I have never had such a nice even tan w/out working hard at it and burning first!!! It is really good for weddings, the last 2 weddings I have been in I have had it done!!! I wish it had of been around when I got married!!!

As I said before anything that can hide my freckles I love !!!!

How is it when it starts to fade? Does it start looking bad?

BTW....did you ever go to bed last night???? Or should I say this morning?

 

[UP Disney]

Well, they test different things (and in different manners). But it is similar in that they are both crucial parts of the initial newborn assessment.

Apgar is a different set of criteria that test overall well-being of the baby (especially if resuscitation measures need to be started, etc).

The Ballard score confirms gestational age in babies when they are born, as a sonogram, menstural cycles, etc can only be so accurate. It's important information in cases like Kate mentioned, where they really suspect a pre-term birth, but it's also important just to track what needs they might have developmentally.

How long have they been doing this Ballard test? I disagreed with the doctor on when my DD20 was due. I thought September and he told me October. When she was born 5 weeks early from his date, I just thought I'd been right. Her lungs weren't fully developed so she had to be in an isolet with oxygen for almost a week. He was sure that he was right because of the white stuff in the crease under her arm. She was 6 lbs. 1 oz. but my DD17 who was only 10 days early was 6 lb. 5 oz. I've always wondered if there was a test that they had done or whether it was just guess work.

She was born in Holland, Michigan. We were never worried because one of the best infant hospitals in the country was in Grand Rapids (30 miles away) and we were told if they suspected any life threatening problems at all in infants in Holland, they were immediately transported to Grand Rapids. The hospital has a link to Gerber.

 

[weluvdisney]

How is it when it starts to fade? Does it start looking bad?

BTW....did you ever go to bed last night???? Or should I say this morning?

It doesn't look bad when it starts to fade, the trick is to MOISTURIZE as much as possible and it will definetly last longer. It just gradually starts to get lighter but not blotchy. If you want to get it all the way off when it starts to fade you can ta a loofah or an exfolliater and rub it off.


I fell asleep at about 3 or so and I woke up around 6:45 !! I haven't been able to sleep well lately, so I keep staying up later and later. I'm fine now that I am up and about, in fact my body is getting used to it. I did debate briefly just staying up and getting some things done---I'm glad I didn't though.

I started a new baby a couple of weeks ago and I swear when I met w/ them about watching their ababy they said that they would probably be dropping her off between 7:50 & 8:15 a.m.. Anyway, everyday she has been getting dropped of at around 7:10-7:15 a.m., I am up but still this is SO early. Today they got here at 7:05 A.M. , I was still in my jammies!!! I feel bad saying anything, and I don't want to offend them, or have them think I am an idiot because they they thought I agreed to this time. I know it's only a few minutes difference but those few minutes are key in the morning for getting my kids ready for school, especially when they are dropping off a little babyl!!! Oh well I guess I just need to suck it up!!!

 

[UP Disney]

Well, and some people know more than you even if you aren't having a baby! There are just people like that period. Maybe THAT should have been my 'characteristic' that I don't like! It drives me NUTS!

When I had one of my kids, one of the guys at work told me I was wrong about something I said you experienced when you were having a baby. He knew better than me because his wife had just had a baby too! Needless to say, the guy was a know-it-all jerk that I couldn't stand. This was just one more example.

 

[Tammi67]

I can imagine how hectic it could be!

 

[UP Disney]

I know you weren't saying it was your opinion - it just irritated me when people told me I would have trouble bonding with my kids b/c I didn't breast feed them or b/c I put them in the nursery!!

I had the same issues with people. I wanted to breastfeed Katrina but we had to bottlefeed her when she was first born so we could measure how much she was drinking. By the time she was strong enough, I was too worried that I wouldn't know if she didn't get enough that I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding. By the time Becky was born, I had decided that since it hadn't affected Kate negatively that I wasn't going to breastfeed Becky either. One of those, "I don't want to give one kid more than the other" idosyncracies that I have!!! Boy did I hear it from the pro-breastfeed crowd.

We didn't have a choice about the nursery when my girls were born. However, I needed that time to rest. I hardly slept when Katrina came home because I was so worried about her. I slept with her beside my bed in a cradle and I had my hand in the cradle beside her mouth (you propped them on their side to sleep at that time) so I could feel her breath on my hand. I was a little more relaxed with Becky but she was quite strong when she was born - she lifted her head off my chest when they laid her there right after birth.

What I learned is that the mother has to learn to trust her own instincts with her kids. As long as you are a good mother and pay attention to your kids, you will know what is best for them.