The Battle For My Wallet IV: Return of the ZZUBs (Addendum, p.85; 07/12)

[lexmelinda]

Laugh out loud funny. Again.

 

[Kala]

We were there, too!!!!

My husband and I took our 2 oldest grandkids, ages 3&4 at the time, for a "Grammi and Gramps" trip. We were sitting right across the street from you and your family, not smart enough to find the DVC shelter, we instead chose Micky Panchos. What a joke! The kids thought it was fun, and we would have too if it was an actual parade.... but all that for a flashing necklace cart!

Who knew???? We never watch the parade from that location, usually go for Main Street or Town Square, but we were strangely drawn this location. If only we had known... right across from, and in full view of, the ZZubs. I figured out early on in this report that we were all there the same week, but never made a connection to time/place til now.

We also watched Wishes from Main Street then walked back to the Contemporary pushing 2 strollers full of sleepy kids... the boat would have been much more fun!

 

[LaLa]

If he has, I wouldn't know it because I don't even know what that means. I just thought it sounded cool.

Boy, you're really dragging this puppy out!

Just curious. Do you think you'll have the next one posted before State whups up on Bama again this year? Or before Paris is freed, then locked up, then freed again? Twice.

Kidding.

Take your time. I'm not looking forward to the ending, my friend. But then again, I am. Because I know it'll rock.

Or will it?

 

[nicolemarie]

I thought ZZUB might have a new installment up and just transposed the date.

Instead of totally getting it wrong like he did last time.

Chop, chop, ZZUB. Your fans are waiting.

 

[DJR]

I believe he's out taking a class in making lame towel animals. There's a test at the end.

Either that or he's fallen asleep in the lobby of the WL again. Not sure which.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

The shark called.


He wants his fin back.


So deficiency of catching air. Dude.



Your chum, Melly.

 

[ncseric]

From urbandictionary.com:

jump the shark: a term to describe a moment when somethin that was once great has reached a point where it will now decline in quality and popularity. Origin of this phrase comes from a Happy Days episode where the Fonz jumped a shark on waterskis. Thus was labeled the lowest point of the show.

http://www.jumptheshark.com

Generally, when Ted McGinley shows up on the show, it's doomed. Cousin Oliver, Scrappy-Doo, and the Wonder Twins are also sources of shark-jumping.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

We were there, too!!!!

My husband and I took our 2 oldest grandkids, ages 3&4 at the time, for a "Grammi and Gramps" trip. We were sitting right across the street from you and your family, not smart enough to find the DVC shelter, we instead chose Micky Panchos. What a joke! The kids thought it was fun, and we would have too if it was an actual parade.... but all that for a flashing necklace cart!

Who knew???? We never watch the parade from that location, usually go for Main Street or Town Square, but we were strangely drawn this location. If only we had known... right across from, and in full view of, the ZZubs. I figured out early on in this report that we were all there the same week, but never made a connection to time/place til now.

We also watched Wishes from Main Street then walked back to the Contemporary pushing 2 strollers full of sleepy kids... the boat would have been much more fun!

no one is going to comment on how cool this is? Kala actually saw ZZub

 

[Kala]

You're right, I probably did see them as I usually love to look around and do lots of people watching... if only I knew what I was looking for! I guess if I had been paying attention I would have recognized that arm...

or would I???

 

[Snow_White]

Apparently I have been living under a rock for the past several years, because I didn't discover the joy of reading Zzub's trip reports until last night! Here I am 24 hours later and I've read every last letter of all 4 reports. I've laughed, I've cried, and I've yelled out "Wishes!" to my husband at random times throughout the day. Thanks for the read, Zzub!! Here's to hoping the Zzub family returns to the World sooner rather than later!!

BTW, after years of trying, I am currently 10 weeks pregnant (and quite a bit paranoid), which explains most of the tears. I was so happy to read about the birth of your youngest daughter!!!!! I will also be making the voyage to WDW while pregnant this coming September (I should be 22 weeks) so I was especially interested to read about how your wife managed to cope with the parks.

I can't wait to read the rest of your trip report!

 

[Frickles]

It's Monday morning. Chop chop.

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Twenty Six: My American Adventure

Now that I think about it, it occurs to me that part of the reason I always disdained EPCOT was because we never got to spend any real time there. EPCOT, like a good meal, takes time to savor. If you race through it on an afternoon, you’ll miss the essence of the park. But race through it was what we had done so many times before. Because our time in Disney World was limited. We chose to spend it at the Magic Kingdom and MGM. EPCOT became the park we’d go to as a last choice. And then, we’d just meander through it, hitting Test Track and maybe Honey I Shrunk the Audience. We’d dash through Innoventions and the whole thing left us perpetually under whelmed.

We hated EPCOT because we never took time to get to know it. Hating EPCOT had become a Disney thing for us. But I had read enough and know enough people who love it to make me wonder over the last few years what it was we were missing. There had to be something more to the park that we just didn’t get. Getting EPCOT had become a Disney Goal of mine. Like having a resort day. Or waking up in the morning and deciding on the fly which park to go to.

This year, with our upended plans, and thrown out itinerary, we got to enjoy Disney World at a somewhat relaxed pace. We had two full days in EPCOT. And we became enamored of it.

We got it.

So when my little girl said she wanted to go back, both my wife and I were happy.

But we weren’t going to rush around. We were going to take our time, and purposefully see the things we wanted to see. We had a lunch reservation at Garden Grill and there were a few other rides/attractions that we wanted to catch.

And ZZUB wanted to see the American Adventure.

I’m all about our country. I love it. The good and the bad parts of it. I love that men and women of faith and purpose sacrificed everything to travel the ocean to seek a new life here. I love Plymouth Rock and Jamestown. I love that the colonists had enough of King George’s madness and threw off the yoke of British rule and declared their independence. I love Lexington and Concord. Paul Revere. George Washington. Ben Franklin. Thomas J. I love the Constitution and the rights it articulates. I love Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. FDR and JFK. I love President Reagan. I love that we beat the Russians to the moon. I love NASA and football and driving my car. I love rock and roll and country music. I love McDonalds and Arbys and Burger King and KFC. I love that we’re too fat and listen to our music too loud. I love that we march and celebrate our country. I even love those people who seemingly have nothing better to do but take to the streets and burn the flag of the very country that allows them the freedom to vilify it. If dissent is patriotic, then assent is as well.

I’m not blind or stupid. I know America is imperfect. I understand our country is an experiment and we are unique and fortunate. We are free because the hand of Providence has allowed us to be.

So I love America and have wanted to see the American Adventure. I hadn’t seen it since I was a kid, since right after EPCOT opened. My wife had never seen it. I remembered it was pretty good and I’d been trying to get back to see it for a while. We missed getting to see it in 2005 because my plan to have no plan backfired. We missed it earlier in this trip because my plan got upended by a $12 box of Children’s Tylenol which required a return to our hotel room. I had written it off for another year. Now that we had a second shot at EPCOT, it was one of the things we purposed to see that day.

I had a rental car to return and I was supposed to return it to the Magic Kingdom Car Care Center but since we were headed to EPCOT, I decided to return it to the Dolphin. Which was easier said than done.

I won’t belabor the point, but after 30 minutes on the phone, I finally confirmed that I could switch the drop off location. That cleared, we took the car to the Dolphin. I’d never been there before but from a distance I’ve been enamored of the architecture. Up close, it’s pretty impressive.

But we were in a rush. Of course we were. We were in Disney World. I pulled up to the front but the valets had no clue where I needed to go to return the car. So I parked it and walked through the lobby to the National desk. Eventually I was told that I needed to give the keys to a valet and tell them it was a rental return. And they would give me a receipt. So we walked back to the front, did as we were told and walked back through the lobby and down the escalators towards the boat launch.

Where we arrived in time to watch a boat pull away.

The worst thing that can happen in Disney World is to lose a child.

The second worst thing that can happen is to walk up to either a bus depot or boat launch as the bus or boat pulls out. Because you know you’re in for a very long 20 minutes.

If you’re lucky.

My wife couldn’t walk so we had no choice. We pulled up some sidewalk and enjoyed the view. And I took pictures.

And watched my watch and worried about missing our reservation.

And felt sweat pour down my side.

Eventually a boat pulled into the launch. It moved slower than the blood through Barbara Bush’s varicose veins.

We ambled on, took our seats and the boat begin its slow, meandering course to EPCOT. But it first stopped at the Beach Club and then the Boardwalk.

Later that same day, we docked at the International Gate. I told my wife I’d go on ahead, take the bag through “security” and get her wheelchair. Thus, by the time she got through the turnstile, I’d have her chair ready to go.

The boat stopped and I charged off and headed at full gallop to the turnstiles. I was about half way there when I heard,

“ZZUB!! Wait! ZZUBY wants to come with you.”
I turned around to see my daughter struggling to get free from my wife. I yelled back, “C’mon ZZUBY!”

She pumped her little legs as fast as she could. I ran back her direction, scooped her up and then turned around and headed back to “security.” I hit the check point at almost full speed. But Stanley Slowtoes was in no rush. And he had no clue that we were. Because the man running with his daughter in his arms wasn’t a clue. After he finished his exhaustive search of our bag, I threw it on my shoulder, picked up my daughter and left the area like a limo at Rock’n Rollercoaster. Slowtoes yells out, “Hang on. I’ve got some stickers for you.”

As I’m running away from him, I yell back, “We’ve got no time, man. We’re late for lunch.”

We got to the chair rental and I produced our ticket and the CM gave us a chair. As I was standing there writing Fonzarelli on it, Stanely Slowtoes walks up and hands my daughter the stickers her jerkstore father wouldn’t let her have.

That was the look on his face. My daughter was polite and thanked him. As soon as he was gone she gave them to me, “here Daddy.” Translation, “please lose these.”
By this point my wife met up with us and got in the chair. My daughter hopped up into her lap and we headed towards the Garden Grill.

I was literally running through EPCOT, pushing the chair in front of me. My wife was screaming, “ZZUB! Slow down!!!”

“No way, woman! We’re late!!!”

I got stymied by a bottleneck in England. But I have mad driving skills. I maneuvered around, over and through them with deft ease and only a modicum of shouting.

We ran past Canada and I yelled out, "Man! That smells!" Because it did. I almost lost my wife and daughter when I took the turn onto the Land’s sidewalk too quickly but my massive upper body strength kept the chair upright. Barely.

Through the doors, we checked into the Garden Grill. Turns out our table was ready. The place was empty. We were one of about 6 tables. No sooner had we sat down then our waitress came over to explain the menu to us.

By the way, you can order sweet tea at the Garden Grill.

I inquired why we weren’t moving. You see, Garden Grill is supposed to rotate. But someone had knocked down a piece of glass and there was some issue with getting it repaired and words, words, words. I asked for my first refill of tea and more lemon.

Then the characters started coming by. Lots of them. Mickey, Pluto, Chip and Dale. They came and stayed. Not unlike my in-laws.

In between, the food came and it was pretty fantastic. I hate to write that because I don’t want Garden Grill to become like Chef Mickey’s and impossible to get into. But we really enjoyed our meal. And dessert. At the same time, the character interaction was the best we’d had anywhere. They were all over my daughter. Pluto came and read the menu and Mickey and Pluto played catch for a while with my daughter’s Bambi. Then Chip came and sat down and played Tic Tac Toe with her.

During dessert, when Dale came back to the table, my daughter looked up and said, “You again?” I laughed so hard I nearly choked on a lemon seed. I asked for another refill.

When we were all done and walking out, the hostess told my daughter she could pick one of the little plastic animals as a souvenir. My daughter picked a little penguin which she promptly named Pengy. She said, “look, Daddy! It’s a penguin. I’m gonna take him on Soarin’ just like on the commercial.”

Clutching her new favorite toy in her little chubby hand, we headed down to ride Soarin’ for the last two times this trip. Once she got in her seat, she put Pengy in the little chest pocket of her overall shorts. She made sure Pengy’s head was poking above the pocket so he could see. And as we took off, I heard her say in Pengy/Schpupin’s voice, “Woo Hoo! I’m fwying! I’m fwying!”

I didn’t know whether to be proud of her creative mind or sad that we’d warped her. Maybe a little of both. Bof.

After two hops on Soren Lorenson, we took Mommy to talk with Crush and then rode Spaceship Earth and ate some ice-cream. For some reason I had a lot of snack credits left. We still had a good chunk of time and I had noted well when American Adventure was showing. So we knocked around in Innoventions. They were giving free rides on the Segways then so I got in line and waited through a silly demonstration before I got to ride. There were two lines and the guy running the second line wasn’t letting go of the Segway. Throughout the entire ride, he was standing in front, holding the handle bar. Which not only defeated the purpose of testing it yourself, but also, I think, made it harder to control the machine. So as I waited my turn I hoped I wouldn’t get stuck with that dude. Fortunately, I got the other guy who wasn’t so grabby.

The Segway was a blast. Ba-Last! I don’t know if they’re still doing the free rides. If they’re not, pay whatever they’re charging to take a tour. If only Maelstrom was that much fun. I'd wait in line for it.

We moved over to the Disney Visa character picture deal. It certainly wasn’t worth getting a Disney Visa for, but if you have the Disney Visa, remember to bring it with you to EPCOT and if you happen to be in Future World during the time they’re doing pictures, go have it done.

It’s free.

And worth every penny.

Actually, the picture is cute. Pluto was actually acting like a dog, not a Disney character.

Also, it was free.

On our way out of Innoventions, we stumbled upon this fire house deal. It looked vaguely interesting but not so much. Then I heard hooting and hollering and some general taunting coming from inside. I asked the CM what the story was and she told me there are two teams, the Findmores and the Searchwells, who move through the house identifying fire hazards.

”Teams?” I asked. I’m all about competition.

So we went inside and got into the next game. My wife sat to the side and watched and my daughter and I were matched up with two other people. A Mom and her kid. They rode our coattails. We were the Findmores. The Searchwells were some lame as all get out family.

They give you these little scan guns that look like the ones you get at Target or Macy’s when you’re registering for your wedding or baby shower. The Searchwells and Findmores are sent into two identical houses and you’re on a timer. In that time, you have to move from room to room identifying fire hazards. Once you spot them, you aim your scan gun at the hazard and once you’ve lit it up, you move on. But everyone in the room has to get their scanner on the same hazard. My daughter and I started on one side of the house and the other people on our team, the dead weight, started in the other. I have no clue how the Searchwells were divided.

The game started and I was kicking butt and taking names. Also calling names. Shouting at the rest of my good-for-nothing team and hurling invective at the Crapwells.

My daughter lost interest in the game pretty quickly. So I had her gun and mine and it was no easy feat to aim them both and pull the little triggers but I managed to do it. About half way through, they announce our mid point scores and the Stupidwells had a slight lead on us. So I stepped it up. I had figured out how to maneuver both guns more quickly and I was shouting at the lazy butts in the other room to go faster.

“Move! Move! Move!” I yelled. “Hit your targets and move on!”

By this point, my daughter went to sit with her Momma. I didn’t even notice she was gone. I was in full on fire-fighting mode. I was spotting hazards left and right, knocking them out one by one. By the time the buzzer sounded, I was completely juiced. And fully sweaty. They called us over to the front to announce our scores and tell us who won.

I knew we were underdogs. Basically our entire team was me. The other team was a family. With both a dad and a pre-teen son. Who looked like they could handle a gun. And they were leading at the mid-way point.

But when the winning team was announced it was the Findmores! That’s right, baby. We won! No lie, I was jumping up and down and led my “team” in a taunting chant of “Findmore’s Rule! Searchwell’s drool!”

Yeah. I’m a lousy winner.

A shining moment it was not. But I won.

After the thrill of victory, we headed towards World Showcase. We arrived at the American pavilion about 45 minutes before the next show time. Having additional snack credits burning a hole in my pocket and being me, I was craving a funnel cake. I love those things. One time in Chicago, I walked to the end of the Navy Pier for a funnel cake. That right there is true love. I knew there was a funnel cake kiosk right near the American pavilion. When we got to that area, I sought it out. I spotted it in the distance and I was so giddy with anticipation I was lactating. Too much? It’s hard to know where the line is anymore.

I walked up to the window and placed my order. And as I was ordering, I noticed this sign in the window. This hateful, nasty, cruel and mean-spirited sign.

It was bad enough I couldn’t use one of my remaining snack credits but I couldn’t even charge this to my room? This is Disney World! Can’t you charge EVERYTHING to your room? Apparently not.

Although I mostly charge everything back to our room, I always carry a $20 bill with me. Which I almost never have to use. But it’s there. Just in case. Like the Tide-To-Go stain stick in my desk. But on this day, I didn’t have a $20 bill with me. For some reason, when I was grabbing my stuff that morning, I only took a five spot. I had my Key to the World (but Not a Funnel Cake), my Disney Visa (for my free picture) and $5.

I could sense my funnel cake slipping through my fingers. I was sure it was more than the $5 I had in my pocket. But I was the new world champion Findmore. Things were going my way. My funnel cake totaled $4.95. I had just enough.

But let this be a lesson to you: your Key to the World won’t unlock the entire World. Better carry some cash. Especially if you’ve got a hankering for some funnel cake.

Which you should.

Funnel cake in hand, we moseyed over to the plaza in front of the American Adventure. It was late afternoon and it was actually fairly comfortable out. No oppressive heat or suffocating humidity. Once we finished off the funnel cake and I stopped licking the powdered sugar off the plate, we cleaned up our hands and then headed inside.

The American Adventure was like a Dole Whip or Peter Pan or Tonga Toast or Le Cellier or any of the other elusive Disney Things that you have read about or dreamt about. For so many years it has evaded me. Now here it was. I was surprisingly excited as I waited for the show to begin. I wondered if it was going to turn out like Tonga Toast and be better than I anticipated or would it be like Le Cellier, a great disappointment?

It’s not the best show I’ve ever seen. Not as emotionally powerful as other such shows. It was good. It was worth the wait. I would go there again.

Tonga Toast it was not.

But what is?

The thing about the show, the thing that made it worth the wait and worth the trek across the absurdly large World Showcase Lagoon, was the Golden Dream montage. I first heard the music on Live365.com while sitting in my office one hot afternoon a hundred Saturdays ago. I stopped what I was doing and listened to it and wondered what part of the show took place to that music. Later, I read about it on some website or another. I respond to music. And I was intrigued by Golden Dream.

The photo montage they run is dated. Horribly so. But it’s an interesting slice of time. The so-called modern Americans that were showcased revealed a lot about the producers of the video. And the times in which they lived. For how do you compare Magic Johnson with FDR and Neil Armstrong? It all seemed so reflective of the silicon ‘90s. Shallow. Superficial. Selfish.

There’s a shot of the New York City skyline. A rather pedestrian view which only now seems significant. Significant for what was still standing.

It dated the movie. That glimpse of the Twin Towers took me out of the moment so to speak. Instead of appreciating the tapestry of American history, I considered how much had changed since that movie was made. Both in my life and in my country. I also realized how much was so awfully the same.

It’s a rare moment when the veil of fantasy gets pierced at Disney World. But the sight of those Towers made me stop focusing on the gloss of history being presented as a Golden Dream. Instead of being spoon fed some pabulum about American ideals, I was instead thinking about the world outside the World. I wondered if there was a conscious decision to leave the Towers in the photo montage of was it the result of Disney’s recent lack of attention to detail.

I walked out of the theater humming the tune and thinking about those things. But like my fellow citizens, I moved on to more pressing issues. I had snack credits to use up.

We were done with EPCOT. We had dinner plans to attend to. As silly as this sounds, seeing the American Adventure, finally crossing that off my list, felt good. I had a bit of a spring in my step. Whatever that means.

My wife was feeling good also. Better than she’d felt all week. So we took our time walking around World Showcase. Somewhere near Mexico we found a kiosk and burned off our remaining snack credits. Dusk in EPCOT is pretty. Serene. Or maybe it was the feeling of so much weight being let off our shoulders.

As we moved through Future World, I suggested we stop in MouseGear. There was something I wanted to get my daughter and we hadn’t found it yet. And while we were there, we picked up just a few more things. MouseGear is huge and impressive. Like Aretha Franklin. But with a wild assortment of Disney stuff.

As we looped around the Potato Head display scooping up more pieces, I saw on the wall the thing I wanted to get my little girl. I spotted a Peter Pan ornament. Our Christmas tree is something of a scrapbook. Each ornament is from a time or place that is special to one or all of us. We have Disney ornaments from every year we’ve been. And each year when we get them out of the attic and start decorating the tree, each ornament sparks a memory and sometimes a story, sometimes several. My daughter loves her some Peter Pan. Even if she can’t stand to actually talk to him. I wanted her to have a Pan ornament to remember the time he waved at her and she got to ride the ride two times in a row and the time she refused to look at him.

Because the good and bad go together like an Oreo. You can’t have the cookies without the cream. It’s all part of the same cookie. If you’ll forgive the overly simplistic simile. The point is we don’t allow the bitter to tarnish the sweet. And we don’t ignore it either. We appreciate that our lives have a healthy mixture of both.

The final assault on my wallet now in the books, we left MouseGear and headed towards the Monorail platform. We were headed back to the Lodge for showers, for dinner at Whispering Canyon and some packing.

We were leaving for home in the morning.



___________

Click Here for The Final Chapter

 

[EEyorelover22]

Thanks for a great report. I wondered all week if you were going back for free dining again. I hope you have a wonderful summer.

 

[Tinkershell]

I have loved LOVED reading all 4 of your trip reports! I am sad to finally be on the very last page of your last report. I think I have Zzubfreude. Is there such a thing? great reports!

 

[Mickey_Maniac]

I've been lurking on your trip reports for some time now. I have read all 4 end to end to end to end, but this is my first time adding a post.

Or as they say in talk radio land, First Time, Long Time.

This can't actually be the end, can it?

I mean, we are talking about the ZZUB's here. They have one more whole night (including a dinner (free) at one of the best and most fun places to eat dinner (free) in all of the World) and a morning left to go through.

Something interesting had to happen, right? I mean, we are talking about the ZZUB's here. Wait a minute, didn't I already say that?

Whoa, deja vu...

If in fact, this is the end, the bitter end my friend (sounds familiar, doesn't it?), thanks much for some absolutely fantastic reading. I feel like I've been on each and every one of your trips right along with you.

But then again, this is not the end, is it? Or is it? Only ZZUB knows for sure...

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

ZZUB

Another excellent installment. I, too, have great appreciation for this country. Golden Dreams makes me tear up and I swell with patriotism...I am glad you captured the magic of Epcot

--Christamae (newly tagged)

 

[New England Eeyore]

Loved, Loved, Loved this installment. I love it when you get all Sorkin-esque. And your fire hazard frenzy had me laughing out loud.

The Golden Dream song from American Adventure always makes me cry. I think in and of itself it would move me because there's something about that music, but even more so it brings me right back to being a little girl, dancing around my living room to the Epcot Soundtrack 33 rpm record on my Fisher Price record player. I had a particularly interesting choreography for that song. "Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit" also sparks memories but doesn't move me to tears.

I also have Zzubfreude and I don't know what I'll do when you finish.

 

[luvmyboys]

It moved slower than the blood through Barbara Bush’s varicose veins.

Amazing how your metaphors are often both stomach-churning and spot-on. But yuck!

By the time the buzzer sounded, I was completely juiced. And fully sweaty. I yelled out, "Man! That smells!"

Ok, so I did "rearrange" this a bit. But it makes so much more sense out of context, no?

Fortunately, I got the other guy who wasn’t so grabby.

Hmmm. Again, out of context, SO much funnier!

I walked out of the theater humming the tune and thinking about those things. But like my fellow citizens, I moved on to more pressing issues. I had snack credits to use up.

I have that problem too. So hard to dwell on the state of the world when there are carbs to be had!

 

[kmebee]

AWESOME as always ZZUB!

You were spot on about The Golden Dream song and all that is "American". I, too, am extremely patriotic and things like this make me weepy.

And, can it really be the end? Say it isn't so . . . How long til the next trip?

 

[LaLa]

Cause I'm pretty sure that's what I'm hearing. Reading. Whatever.

All kidding aside, I'm glad you and your family finally took the time to fully appreciate the second best park on property. And that you got it. That's very cool. I still think you felt differently about it this time because you knew the LaLas were there with yall. Ensconced in granite. Right up front. Forever. And ever. Or at least until they decide to do a little refurbishment.

The boat stopped and I charged off and headed at full gallop to the turnstiles. I was about half way there when I heard, “ZZUB!! Wait! ZZUBY wants to come with you.” I turned around to see my daughter struggling to get free from my wife. I yelled back, “C’mon ZZUBY!”

Lemme get this straight. You named your daughter ZZUBY ZZUB?! It should serve her well, I suppose. As long as she grows up to be a female rapper, that is. I guess it could be worse though. You could've named her 4Real.

Slowtoes yells out, “Hang on. I’ve got some stickers for you.”

As I’m running away from him, I yell back, “We’ve got no time, man. We’re late for lunch.”

We got to the chair rental and I produced our ticket and the CM gave us a chair. As I was standing there writing Fonzarelli on it, Stanely Slowtoes walks up and hands my daughter the stickers her jerkstore father wouldn’t let her have.

That was the look on his face.

DED. I can completely picture this whole thing in my head. And you weren't kidding about the sweat rolling down the side thing. Dude. So perspiration.

I almost my wife and daughter when I took the turn onto the Land’s sidewalk too quickly but my massive upper body strength kept the chair upright. Barely.

Just wondering why you left out the verb here with this one. Is that one of the things you're keeping for yourself? Unlike the Ode to Cows? I'm gonna go with you almost farted on your wife and daughter. Cause I've got a feeling just the threat of it would be enough to knock a chair sideways. Fo shizzle my ZZizzle.

During dessert, when Dale came back to the table, my daughter looked up and said, “You again?” I laughed so hard I nearly choked on a lemon seed.

Those pesky lemon seeds'll getcha every time. Try taking the straw out next time. That's what I do.

On our way out of Illuminations, we stumbled upon this fire house deal.

Well, at least you spelled the beginning and the ending right. The rest is up for debate.

I love this picture. Puts me right there. And we're so completely borg on the funnel cake stuff. I've never walked out on a pier for one though. But I guess I would if I had to. Looks like somebody up in the distance there was feeling a little blue. He must've only had four bucks instead of five.

But let this be a lesson to you: your Key to the World won’t unlock the entire World. Better carry some cash.

Now you tell me. This info would've been valuable eight months ago. And you call yourself an imaginary friend.

Because the good and bad go together like an Oreo. You can’t have the cookies without the cream. It’s all part of the same cookie. If you’ll forgive the overly simplistic simile. The point is we don’t allow the bitter to tarnish the sweet. And we don’t ignore it either. We appreciate that our lives have a healthy mixture of both.

Simplistic simile or not, I loved this. Because it's so true. And I think to some degree, the bad serves to help us all appreciate and recognize the good when it comes along. Because without the valleys, maybe the peaks wouldn't seem so high.

The final assault on my wallet now in the books, we left MouseGear and headed towards the Monorail platform. We were headed back to the Lodge for showers, for dinner at Whispering Canyon and some packing.

We were leaving for home in the morning.

ZZUBenfreude indeed.

Z: This was an awesome chapter, just like all the others. There were so many quote worthy things in this one that I had a hard time picking which sections to comment on. We are completely borg on so many things. One of which is the Garden Grill. We loved our time there. The characters were on and we thought the food was really good. Borg with the patriotism for our country as well. That part was very well written. Every time we go to Epicot, DH wants to see the American Adventure. It doesn't always work out in regards to the timing and it may not be his Dole Whip, but he really enjoys history and air conditioning, so he really enjoys the show. We all do as a matter of fact. Although we agree that it's good. But not quite Tonga Toast good.

Whatever that means.

I'm sad your trip report is winding down, Z. But I'm hopeful there will be a Battle For My Wallet V on the horizon before too much longer.

In the meantime, bring on the Whispering Canyon episode. Please tell me they didn't make you ride a horse around the place. They did, didn't they?