The Battle For My Wallet III: The Smell of Free Dining (Addendum, pg 34)

[DisneyNutMary]

But back in our world, where a week in Disney World lasts six months on the Disboards

This trip report rocks! I am looking forward to Chapter 9.

 

[Camp Rd. Lady]

You're wasting your time in front of "the bench". I will be the first in line to buy your book!

 

[SRUAlmn]

You're wasting your time in front of "the bench". I will be the first in line to buy your book!

I told my fiance the same thing. He loves to read and always teases me because I don't really like it. I can't ever find much that interests me. I told him to get ZZUB to write a book and that would be one thing I would definitely read!

 

[MazdaUK]

OK, tell us about Le cellier! My friend is going in March and I've told her it has rave reviews although I didn't get there myself. She has BEEN to Canada - will it be a downer?

(I'm sure you've seen through my feeble ploy to get you writing the next part SOON!!!! )

 

[jcat2312]

Subscribing!!!

 

[Diz-Mommy]

I too am glad I found your trip report...I've read through these while juggling three children the last two days. You are a hoot!

Forget the book deal, go straight for a movie! I'm thinking there needs to be a comical review of the goings on of a Disney Vacation. Hi-lighting all the stuff that makes people laugh because they too, have experienced the same.

Things that get me nodding my head and laughing my butt off:
The stinky person, the line jumping teenagers (makes me grumpy at the time, but make me laugh in a trip report), crazy CM's at gift store cash registers, Hoochy-Mama characters (poor Ariel), and a grown man riding the Buzz Light-year ride over and over and over and over (and alone I might add). Ohh the list goes on and on!

I'm disappointed for you that the Living Seas wasn't open while you were there(even if you're not), because I was dying to read what you thought of the Turtle Talk w/ Crush attraction.

You've been a comedic breath of fresh air in what otherwise has been a very stressful work week.

Thanks for the laughs and cries! (I'm touched by your enchantment with your daughter) I truly love the Wishes! tale

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

We got in line for Living with the Land and one of the CMs hands me a little white card and asked me to give it to the CM at the front of the line. What?! Now I’m working for Disney? It’s not enough I pay through the nose to be in their parks, now when I’m there, I’m punching a clock, too? So this was the catch to the so-called Free Dinning promotion. It’s just like a time share sale spiel. I knew they’d get me eventually.

This happened to us at least four times on our trip (also for free dining, we went in late September). As virtual Disney novices, the first time it happened I was quite excited about what it meant when they handed us what looked like castmember passcards - were we going to be special and allowed into a private, super-secret, you randomly got picked for something fabulous area? Would we get to help pilot the Jungle Cruise? Get a personal meet and greet with the big guy? No, just trying to estimate the wait time so that the big signs out front can be updated. Sigh. At least we looked trustworthy? Isn't that a little something?

And from one member of the "Bill in 6 minute intervals" club to another - If I were you I'd give up my membership and instead become a member of the "Bill in one page intervals" club instead! Wonderful trip reports!

 

[javamom]

subbing

 

[ZZUB]

Chapter Nine:

DISCLAIMER: This chapter may be offensive to: Canadians, Mexicans, Norwegians, Germans, New Yorkers, people of size named “Tina,” people who don’t like Napoleon Dynamite, rednecks, planning fanatics, people who pay rack rate and don't know any better, people afraid to end a sentence with a preposition, people who love Epcot, and the boozy crowd which hangs out on Vettechick’s thread sharing cyber drinks.

Properly warned ye be.

After we finished Living with the Land, we headed towards Spaceship Earth. We’d been inside the Land Pavilion for several hours, long enough to forget how unbearably hot it was outside. I mean it was HOT!

On the way to Spaceship Earth, I got several more odd stares at my shirt. One guy told me he loved that movie. I responded, “what movie?” He looked confused and I left him that way.

We took a moment to digest some ice-cream before we rode SE. The ice-cream eating was a largely unremarkable event for me, except my daughter mentioned this just the other day. We were listening to some Disney music (oddly enough) and she asked me what one of the songs was. I told her it was the entrance music to Epcot. She said, “Epcot! That’s where we had ice-cream, remember, we sat on the bench and ate ice-cream?” Why she picked this one ice-cream eating moment out of literally dozens of ice-cream eating moments is beyond me, but the point is, she associated Epcot with ice-cream (which I suppose it better than associating it with lame-as-all-get-out rides). And since I write these trip reports to help her remember our trips, I thought I’d mention the ice-cream.

She remembers eating ice-cream with her cousins sitting on a bench.

I remember that it was free.

Well, not so much free. I did have to carry that white card in line at the Land. Dang time share tricksters!

Spaceship Earth would have been a good ride but for the sound that didn’t work in our car. It worked some of the time, kind of like a former associate in my firm. But more often than not, we were stealing sound from the cars on either side of us. Other than that, I enjoyed the ride. But here’s what made me sad, when I told the CM at the bottom that our sound didn’t work, she acted like I just told her it was hot outside. Her reaction wasn’t, “OK, I’ll get someone on that,” or even, “that’s happening a lot.” Rather it was more along the lines of, “yeah, and it’s hot outside, what do you want me to do about it?!” For half a minute I thought about being annoyed and asking for her supervisor but then we hit the outside and although we were in the shade, the heat slapped us violently in the face. I stopped caring about the lame sound system in SE and started wondering what air-conditioned venue we could get into quickly. I think Disney is screwing with the weather. It was never that hot when I lived in the south. Not in September.

My brother-in-law and 3 nephews and I went to ride Test Track while our wives and daughters went to shop.

We’re stereotypes. So sue me.

We haven’t been to Epcot since 1999. I had forgotten how great a ride Test Track is. It's much faster than I remember it being. Because we know how to manipulate the fastpass system, all five of us were able to ride it twice in a row. It occurs to me that the second time through we spent the entire ride shouting out lines from Napoleon Dynamite. My whole family loves ND and there’s no end of lines from that very quotable movie. Except, I wonder if it’s appropriate to yell out, “Tina you fat lard, eat your dinner!”

Am I getting old or is anyone else a little nauseous after riding Test Track?

From there, we met up with our wives and started our tour of World Showcase. In Mexico, my daughter wondered why the dolls weren’t singing “It’s a Small World After All.” The food from the restaurant smelled really good. Good enough to make me think about canceling our PS at Le Celllier and having dinner there. But Mexican food you can have every day. How often do you get to eat at a steak house?

Oh the humanity.

Neither my wife nor I had ever ridden Maelstrom and since it was a fastpass attraction, we foolishly assumed it was worth riding. WRONG! Don’t be fooled by the fastpass. It means nothing, NOTHING!!! We headed back to Norway and got on line for Maelstrom. The queue was not disinteresting and the ride itself wasn’t totally sucky. It was just not worthy of a fastpass. Or even a second ride.

And what is with the movie at the end? And why were people sitting there waiting to watch it? We walked on through and so did the dozen or so people ahead of us. Unless they were handing out coupons for free dessert after the movie, I wasn’t sticking around for it.

Speaking of dessert, we next found ourselves in Germany where we bought obscenely expensive candy. Several years ago, my wife and I were in New York City for a week and we took in a B’way show. At that time, orchestra tickets were $75 a pop plus taxes, handling charges and whatever fees we were assessed. I think the tickets ended up costing us right around $200 for the deuce. Until we went to Germany to buy candy, that was the previous example of the most ridiculous indulgence we’ve ever forked over money for.

I loved the candy we bought in Germany. But $22 for 5 pieces of chocolate is exorbitant even by Disney standards.

On the other hand, it was chocolate.

We continued on our brisk walking tour and stopped briefly in the model train display. While we were watching the train one of the kids in our party said, “Why are we standing here?” Since we stopped solely because we thought the kids would like to watch the train and evidently they were disinterested, we moved on.

We happened upon Snow White standing around looking desperate for some kid to come over and take a picture with her. Seriously. I saw this happen once before in Animal Kingdom with Eeyore and Piglet, but never thought it would happen with a princess. Certainly not in the middle of the Princess marketing onslaught we’re all currently enduring. But there she was, Snow White. Sad and alone. If it was up to me, I’d have left her there. Teach her a lesson about hawking her wares in Target, Walmart and every large gas station with a food mart in a the contiguous 48 states. But my daughter took pity on her and stood for her picture. Sure enough, as soon as we started with the pictures, a crowd formed. It’s true what they say about popularity.

We finally arrived at the American Pavilion and my plan to not have a plan finally revealed its fatal flaw. We arrived at the American Pavilion five minutes too late and the next show was set to start about 20 minutes before our priority seating at Le Cellier. I walked to the edge of the water so I could judge how far Canada was from America. (The joke is too obvious; I’m not making it). I knew it would take at least 15 minutes to walk there from where we were and I didn’t want to be late for dinner. The reality was we couldn’t watch the next show and still make our PS at Le Cellier. It was my own fault. No one in my family ever consults a park map or times guide when I’m around because they just assume I know where everything is and what time the shows start. Seriously. There have been many times when my sister is in Disney World and I’m in my office 3,000 miles away and she’ll call to ask me where something is or where they should eat. For whatever reason, on this day in Epcot, I decided to wing it. Like a tourist. On vacation. Idiot. Even though it was still relatively early, there was no way we were going to be able to catch the American Adventure and eat dinner at Le Cellier and watch Illuminations. Lesson learned for next time.

Forgive me, Disfriends, for I have sinned. I didn’t adequately plan for our day in Epcot.

So we sat for a minute and tried to decide what to do before dinner. We decided to do nothing but walk from America to Canada and enjoy the walk. If memory serves, we had a little less than an hour before our PS time and we didn’t think we had time to do anything else. My mistake turned out to pay a nice dividend. We got to enjoy Epcot and for the first time that day, other than on Soarin and Test Track, we really enjoyed the park. It was fun to walk through the countries, especially the UK. We spent a lot of time just walking around and I snapped several pictures of the buildings because I think the UK has really interesting architecture. Of course, the unintended consequence of all that walking around? My daughter fell asleep about 5 minutes before we checked in a Le Cellier.

Le Cellier was mobbed. It was insane. It was like they were giving away the food. Well for some of us they were. We’ve never eaten in there before and as you all know Le Cellier gets very good reviews on these boards.

Let me say right here and right now: we didn’t hate our meal.

We didn’t love it either.

Le Cellier was good, above average even. The atmosphere was fine. The service was attentive yet not intrusive Overall the experience was just not superlative. It was good, not great. It was like Bob Dole. It had its good points. But like Bob Dole couldn’t articulate a clear reason for his candidacy, Le Cellier just didn’t distinguish itself.

Unlike Bob Dole, who clearly has faults, I can’t point to anything that was wrong with Le Cellier, except maybe that it reminded me a bit of a Steak & Ale. In other words, I’ve eaten in nicer rooms. With higher ceilings. And lights. I would think my expectations were too high, except that my expectations for Cinderella’s Royal Table were in the stratosphere and it actually exceeded my expectations. (Not so much that I’m now willing to pay $40 a person for lunch mind you. I am, after all, still me). And therein lies the rub. CRT was truly an exceptional meal and dining experience. Le Cellier was just not.

Even as I write this, however, I can’t think of anything negative. Indeed, overall it was a very pleasant experience. After we checked in, we probably waited about 30 minutes for our table. My daughter was asleep in her stroller and I asked the hostess if it would be ok if we just kept her in the stroller during dinner so she could continue sleeping. This request was from the Department of Ridiculous Requests You Make Even Though You KNOW The Answer Will Be No. She surprised me and said, “no problem.” She may have actually said “no worries,” but since I hate that expression, I unwittingly blocked it from my memory of the evening.

After awhile, they showed us to our table and they cleared away a spot so we could just wheel the stroller up to the side. I thanked the hostess and then politely asked everyone in the dinning room to keep it down because my daughter was sleeping. No, I didn’t, but it was almost as if I did because it seemed the din in the room lessened somewhat.

I had the ribeye steak (which at that time was still on the menu) and my wife had some vegetarian plate that looked pretty good considering no animals died to make her dinner. My daughter had nothing. She was sleeping, remember? And we were not about to wake her up before her time. Not cheap; wise. It’s just one of the rules of life. You don’t start a land war in Asia and you don’t wake a sleeping toddler.

I also drank Coke with dinner. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ahem.

After dinner we had dessert because we were on the meal plan and you HAD to have dessert. Seriously, there was a gun at my head. I don’t remember what I had but I think it had some chocolate in it. I remember that it was very good.

The bill came and we laughed because we were on the free meal plan and you’re required to laugh when the bill comes or else you are just some idiots who paid rack rate for their room in order to score some free food at a restaurant you’d never go to otherwise.

To sum up: Le Celllier is good. Not great. It was worth eating there once. And lest you accuse me of having an unsophisticated palate and think I’m but a rube who wouldn’t know a good meal if it came up beside me and slapped me in the face, I say pooh pooh. First of all, if a good meal did slap me in the face, I think I’d notice that. I’m not that obtuse. Also, I regularly eat at nice places. Le Cellier just wasn’t all that. Still, I would eat there again. If I wasn’t paying for it. In fact, if I had to choose between Le Cellier and Chef Mickey’s, I’d choose the Mick. There. That should start it’s own thread. Discuss.

Next time: Illuminations and the Search for a Meaningful Hamburger.

 

[DianaPrincessofWales]

I'm still laughing way back on page 2 about the cat people. I can't be too loud, I just put my kids to bed! Can hardly wait to get to this page and be offended as a Canadian.

 

[Ellester]

Thanks for another great installment! It gave me something to read tonight while I see if the motrin is going to bring my 20 month old's 104.5 fever down.

It’s just one of the rules of life. You don’t start a land war in Asia and you don’t wake a sleeping toddler.

Another great movie, makes me want a mutton, lettuce, & tomato sandwich.

I also drank Coke with dinner. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ahem.

Glad to see you are keeping up with other classic reports!

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Oh I just found this thread tonight and even though I have a ton of things to do (and try to get some sleep too- tomorrow night is eldest's slumber party... a house full of pre-teens all night Friday night, and I'm sitting her reading this instead of getting some shut-eye!!!) .... I sat here and read every report! It was very entertaining... I should have waited until you were done though, I'm impatient. How can I wait until the next installment of your trip report???

 

[MazdaUK]

Another great installement!

I snapped several pictures of the buildings because I think the UK has really interesting architecture.

Ummmmm.... don't want to shatter any illusions here, but you won't find any houses in England thatched with bamboo matting (which is what they seemed to use) - in fact the UK area is the lamest, most least like its namesake, country in the whole World Showcase. And I have been to quite a lot of the others "in real life". Its about as much an experience of England as changing planes at Heathrow and only getting time to visit the overpriced "Harrods" gift shop - and the souvenirs are the same as you'd get at the airport! I don't know why this is - did the Imagineers think they knew about the UK because someone sent them a postcard of Stratford on Avon? Or did they ask for help from the UK Government at the time and not get any?

Yes, the UK does have some interesting architecture, but unfortunately you can't really tell that from Epcot! Come and visit, and if you're really good we'll let you take an overpriced train to experience Le Souris in France

 

[labdogs42]

It’s just one of the rules of life. You don’t start a land war in Asia and you don’t wake a sleeping toddler.

Another great movie, makes me want a mutton, lettuce, & tomato sandwich.

I also drank Coke with dinner. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ahem.

Glad to see you are keeping up with other classic reports!

Thank goodness for this additional quote, now I remember what movie the land war in Asia quote is from! (I won't spoil it for those that are still wracking their brains! <as you wiiiish....>)

Hmmm...not sure which trip report is referenced in the Coke with dinner comment. Perhaps vettechick's? Maybe I need to go catch up on that one...

I didn't know maelstrom was a FP attraction. Weird. That's the one thing my DH and I already decided we DON'T need to do on our next trip!

Thanks again for a great installment. The adrenaline rush I get from reading them at work and trying not to laugh out loud keeps me going all day!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Blue-ribbon! Again. I like the "Disclaimer". Very nice touch. And it sure covered me. More than one. But... I forgive you and will you adopt me?

I've GOT to stop hanging about on this thread like a groupie.

Maelstrom's a FAST-PASS???????????????????? ? ?

 

[**pixiedust**]

You expect us to take the advice of a person who PURPOSEFULLY eats at the Port Orleanes food court for dinner that Le Cellier is average?



I LOVE YOUR REPORTS!!!!!!!

 

[New England Eeyore]

Yay! 2 updates this week! Keep up the good work!!

I have a funny Maelstrom story. I took my father to WDW last fall. It was his first trip back in almost 20 years. He was reading one of those souvenir books they sell in the gift shops and said "Hey, it says there's an E-Ticket ride in Norway?" I snorted. I told him that was wishful thinking on Disney's part and we'd ride it later in the week and he could draw his own conclusions. I have the opposite view from ZZUB though - I think the ride is as lame as lame can be but the movie is a nice taste of Norway, along the lines of the Circlevisions. But I've never heard anyone mention the "Red Door of Death."

When you exit the ride, if there's a movie currently showing, you have to stand behind a giant red door and wait for it to be over before you can enter the theater and watch the movie or walk through. If you have unlucky timing, you can be there for what seems like an eternity. Boatloads after boatloads of people keep exiting the ride and crowding around you and you start to wonder, is this all an elaborate trick? They advertise it as a FP/E-ticket ride to lure you in, they herd you together like cattle and when those red doors finally open, they open to your death. We had ourselves in stitches imagining what could be behind the door and we were laughing all week about the Red Door of Death.

BTW, ZZUB, I've never laughed as much at WDW as I did that trip with my Dad, so there's something for you to look forward to: One day your daughter will grow up and to repay you for all the wonderful memories you gave her as a child, she'll take you on vacation. She'll have inherited your sense of humor, of course, and you guys will spend the week laughing and laughing and laughing.

 

[Diz-Mommy]

Thanks again ZZUB! You're a hoot, and like I said before I needed a laugh and a reminder of the good times in Disney this week. DH and I are actually thinking about venturing to Disney Land the next time we get the Disney itch... We'll have two little ones at that time and we were thinking it might be easier to take it easy with there just being two parks to visit...What do you think??

I also must agree skipping the film after your Maelstorm ride was a good choice, but I'm not one for those circular movies. For one a HATE standing in one place too long and two, the movies too remind me of Junior High and bore me to tears. My Grandma tortured me with these films all over The World Showcase on my first ever trip to Epcot and Disney World for that matter. I was thinking "Common Granny, this isn't why its cool to cut school to watch these goofy films!" Booooooorrrriiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg!

 

[LaLa]

On the way to Spaceship Earth, I got several more odd stares at my shirt. One guy told me he loved that movie. I responded, “what movie?” He looked confused and I left him that way.

I also drank Coke with dinner. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ahem.

Another great installment. You have outdone yourself, ZZUB. I ROTF when I read the Napoleon Dynamite comment.

Don't worry, there are other Coke With Dinner drinkers out there too. So what if Vettechick's not feelin' us.

 

[ziggystardust]

love it! and I'm a New Yorker!