The Bachelor - Brad Womack

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Exactly! The entire show was taped in less than a month. NO ONE honestly falls head over heels in love with someone in so short a time, especially when this person is also dating twenty other people! Both women wanted the fairy tale and it didn't pan out. If they were so "humiliated" by the experience, then their crying and whining two months after the show actually wrapped sure isn't helping.

I must be the exception then, because I met my husband and married him three months later (after we realized we loved each after after about a week) and have been married going on five years.

I realize that the show puts very unrealistic expectations on both people and relationships, but don't be so quick to say that NO ONE falls head over heels that quickly, because it can and does happen - and I'm no young women either. I was 36 when I met my husband and had been in a previous marriage for almost 18 years.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Congrats to you guys But would it have been the same if Ed was also dating 25 other women?

Actually I met my husband on match.com, so yes, he was seeing other women. 25? No... I don't think he was that lucky, but I had no idea what I was up against at first, and it was a major issue for me.

 

[babieemelly]

Actually I met my husband on match.com, so yes, he was seeing other women. 25? No... I don't think he was that lucky, but I had no idea what I was up against at first, and it was a major issue for me.

But you have to admit that falling for someone so fast is rare. A lot of times it's infatuation and lust rather than actual love. And Match.com is different that a Bachelor-type show. On Match.com I'm guessing you can write to people and meet them if you choose. On the Bachelor he has 25 women thrown at him and he dates them all at once, while he's expected to fall in love with them. It's not realistic and I don't see how anyone can take it seriously!

 

[goofy's friends]

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. I still think he decided at the last minute that he didn't love her and she thought that after all that time, he would have changed his mind. He stuck to his guns and did what he thought was best. Sad, but hopefully shows integrity rather than total jerkiness!! He even had her dad brought in--he intended to go through with it, just couldn't

Another thought: I think if his dad left him as a child, he has serious commitment issues explaining why he thinks it has to be perfect and he has to let her down early rather than develop more attachment and then both face a huge loss. Not right, but explains some.

 

[shortbun]

I was in love with my husband in one weekend. We didn't get married for 6 years but that was NOT because we didn't love each other. We were committed in 3 days. I didn't watch this show this time. I did watch last night 'after the last rose.' This guy just knew he wasn't in love. Why is that such a sin? Honestly, the guy just wasn't that much of a catch but neither were the women. They're all very lucky all they wasted was 5 weeks.

 

[java]

In listening last night I think that he really liked them both. And couldn't see commiting to one. As in he wanted to fool around with both of them. So if he could have feelings for both they clearly weren't THE ONE. I think that is what he was trying to say. But I felt bad for Deanna because I do think he is playing with her emotions with the "I will miss you more than you ever know comment" at the end.

 

[babieemelly]

I'm watching Regis and Kelly right now and Kelly had a great point. These women are so upset at themselves, not Brad, for not having walked away from the situation before he could end it with them. They didn't have the fairy tale they were hoping for, and now they're kicking themselves for not being the one's to end it and walk away with some integrity.

 

[ADisneygirl]

I felt sorry for Brad on the hot seat last night. Imagine yourself in that position, having to face 2 people who both expected you to propose and try and answer the impossible question: why don't you love me?

The show makes the bachelor go through the motions of picking out a ring. I don't think he had a choice to say no to that segment or we all would have known the outcome ahead of time. I believe that he liked both women as another poster said, and felt that if he liked them both at the same time, then neither was his "one".

I agree that he shouldn't have whispered how much he'd miss her in her ear -- sending mixed messages to an already distraught woman. He should have remained silent.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

But you have to admit that falling for someone so fast is rare. A lot of times it's infatuation and lust rather than actual love. And Match.com is different that a Bachelor-type show. On Match.com I'm guessing you can write to people and meet them if you choose. On the Bachelor he has 25 women thrown at him and he dates them all at once, while he's expected to fall in love with them. It's not realistic and I don't see how anyone can take it seriously!

Well, yeah, of course it's different, but when I met my husband I was seeing three other men, and he was seeing about the same number of women. Your profile stays up until you decide to remove it, so there was that nervousness about me falling for him and him still being able to see other women.

You'd be surprised by how many people fall in love that quickly. Once you start talking about it, others will start telling either their stories, or the story of someone that they know. It's just not something that people walk around openly discussing. My in-laws for instance - they've been married for 30 years and married after three weeks.

I agree about The Bachelor being unrealistic. It's about as unrealistic as it comes, just like any other reality show, IMO.

 

[DisneyBride'03]

I wonder how is dating life will be now......

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Obviously this dude has commitment issues and need therapy. Holy moly.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess. I still think he decided at the last minute that he didn't love her and she thought that after all that time, he would have changed his mind. He stuck to his guns and did what he thought was best. Sad, but hopefully shows integrity rather than total jerkiness!! He even had her dad brought in--he intended to go through with it, just couldn't

Another thought: I think if his dad left him as a child, he has serious commitment issues explaining why he thinks it has to be perfect and he has to let her down early rather than develop more attachment and then both face a huge loss. Not right, but explains some.

I still think this is what happened too, but what I don't understand is how it can go from that, to not even wanting to see the person again. That's what has me confused.

Several couples from the show have gone on to date in "the real world". Of course, there isn't such a great track record, but if he had feelings for her, any amount them even, why didn't he at least want to see her again?

And then to whisper that in her ear? That was just wrong and there's no spinning that one.

 

[DisneyBride'03]

Oh....I fell in love quickly as well....and DH and I endured a long distance (San Fran and Chicago) as well....for almost 2 years....alot of flying back and forth, but not easy.
We also met online....just in a chat room....I was never looking for anything...(both just divorced)...Our dates were pretty great in the beginning as well...
ANyway, I think being on the Bachelor is a tough gig for these women. I wonder with whom he got "freaky"..lol..with behind closed doors!!!!

 

[JunieJay]

Boviously this dude has commitment issues and need therapy. Holy moly.

I have to agree, although admittedly I never watched the show. I tuned in last night to watch my favorite show, Boston Legal, only to see it was pre-empted for the Bachelor. He gave me the heeby jeebies, big time. Both women seemed nice and way too good for him. That seems to be the case from what I have seen of this show as of late. I stopped watching the show after that rich guy from Northern California, the one whose family owned a winery, was the Bachelor. Or wait, maybe I stopped watching after that creepy "Bob" guy was on, the one who was slobbering all over each of the women. They seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrell with some of these guys, from what I can see.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I wonder how is dating life will be now......

He's still cute and he still has money. There are enough women that won't even give a rip about anything else.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I was going along a little with what he was saying, that neither was the one, UNTIL DeAnna got up to leave and he said he would always miss her or something like that. What crap was that??!!??!! I really do think he has issues with dating someone seriously. No one said he had to be in love. But to make such a statement and let her walk away AGAIN??!!??!! I feel bad for her, especially.

 

[Feralpeg]

Obviously this dude has commitment issues and need therapy. Holy moly.

Why? Not everyone is cut out for marriage. That doesn't mean they need therapy. I've never been married. I used to date a lot. I was in a very serious relationship, but it didn't work out. I have still had a very full and happy life. I don't think because I didn't decide to marry that I need therapy. IMHO, he showed integrity by going against the norm and walking away. He could have picked one of the girls and then dumped her.

On a previous bachelor (the prince), he picked a girl. But, if my memory serves, he didn't give her the ring. He told her that he would if it worked out, but he wasn't ready to commit. I'd rather see that instead of them jumping into a marriage that didn't work. I think I heard that the doctor bachelor dumped the girl he picked.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I was going along a little with what he was saying, that neither was the one, UNTIL DeAnna got up to leave and he said he would always miss her or something like that. What crap was that??!!??!! I really do think he has issues with dating someone seriously. No one said he had to be in love. But to make such a statement and let her walk away AGAIN??!!??!! I feel bad for her, especially.

I do too, and the funny thing is, I really didn't like her for the majority of the show. I think more went on between them than we know. She's really torn up. I truly think she cared deeply about him, and she thought they had something.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Why? Not everyone is cut out for marriage. That doesn't mean they need therapy. I've never been married. I used to date a lot. I was in a very serious relationship, but it didn't work out. I have still had a very full and happy life. I don't think because I didn't decide to marry that I need therapy. IMHO, he showed integrity by going against the norm and walking away. He could have picked one of the girls and then dumped her.

On a previous bachelor (the prince), he picked a girl. But, if my memory serves, he didn't give her the ring. He told her that he would if it worked out, but he wasn't ready to commit. I'd rather see that instead of them jumping into a marriage that didn't work. I think I heard that the doctor bachelor dumped the girl he picked.

See my further explanation in post 316. I have no problems with not giving a ring. I don't think a ring should be involved in the end anyway, more of a lets date and see where it takes us.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Why? Not everyone is cut out for marriage. That doesn't mean they need therapy. I've never been married. I used to date a lot. I was in a very serious relationship, but it didn't work out. I have still had a very full and happy life. I don't think because I didn't decide to marry that I need therapy. IMHO, he showed integrity by going against the norm and walking away. He could have picked one of the girls and then dumped her.

On a previous bachelor (the prince), he picked a girl. But, if my memory serves, he didn't give her the ring. He told her that he would if it worked out, but he wasn't ready to commit. I'd rather see that instead of them jumping into a marriage that didn't work. I think I heard that the doctor bachelor dumped the girl he picked.

I'm seeing a lot of different issues being discussed, but I don't think I've heard anyone berate him, or belittle him for not asking either girl to marry them. I think we all agree that it would be better if he didn't, unless they both were in love.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm confused more than anything else. He went from 60 to 0 in about two seconds.