The Bachelor - Brad Womack

[Albertan mom]

Just jumping in here, I haven't been on this thread the whole time, or the Dis for that matter, but thought I would come on over and see what you all are saying.
My 2 cents.....

I think he picked his favorite out of the 25.
But neither were the One.

I don't blame him for not taking either. I really do think he thought he was doing the right thing by not leading them on further.

We all know after watching the Bachelor other seasons, that he has to say he cares for them. He has to buy the ring. He has to make it look like he is going to pick one. Or we all would have changed the channel a few weeks ago.
Editing is huge on these shows.

If neither of them were the one, why should he pick one just to have it fail a couple of weeks later, like a PP said.?

DH and I fell in love and got engaged within 8 weeks. But it was just him and I. No other women, no camera crews and rose ceremonies. It can happen. It just didn't happen for him.

For people to say he is a commitment-phobe and all that, is way out to lunch. Sometimes people date for years, then break up realizing it isn't going anywhere. That is what he did.

Give the guy a break. He took the high road, by letting them both go so they could find their own 'the ones'.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I think he wanted to run away again during the show. He started tugging at his collar like he did just before he started pacing in the grass. Also, why have DeAnna's father come out??!!?!! Sorry, I am with DeAnna, none of it makes sense.

Again, I could understand sort of up until the part DeAnna went to leave and he said that crap to her. Obviously he does have feelings for her.

 

[lillygator]

I was shocked that the show was so sure he was going to pick Deanna, that they flew her father out. Very strange. I thought he was more into Jenni.

 

[minniecarousel]

I think the part that confused DeAnna, was Brad told her that he had thought of her every day since the taping ended - 2 1/2 months! So, if he thought of her every day since then, why not give the relationship a chance in the "real" world? She was hurt that he didn't want to persue a relationship. I think proposing to someone under those circumstances is risky. Although I believe in love at first sight, for it to happen under those odd circumstances adds another layer of difficulty. So why not try for a normal relationship with a girl you "like"?

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I think the part that confused DeAnna, was Brad told her that he had thought of her every day since the taping ended - 2 1/2 months! So, if he thought of her every day since then, why not give the relationship a chance in the "real" world? She was hurt that he didn't want to persue a relationship. I think proposing to someone under those circumstances is risky. Although I believe in love at first sight, for it to happen under those odd circumstances adds another layer of difficulty. So why not try for a normal relationship with a girl you "like"?

Bingo!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yep, count me in with those who see that Brad has some serious issues. He even admitted to it right there on the stage!!!

Good gracious, did you see everyone in the audience just shaking their heads and even rolling their eyes at this pitiful man.

To lead DeAnna on like that.. Fly her father out to ask for his blessing.. To tell her how he loved her and thought about her every single day... But, sorry, BUH-BYE!!!! That is not right. That is not normal.

This is a guy who is psychologically torn, and who is unable to commit.

He just tugs at his collar and wants to get up and run... I saw actual fear in his eyes several times.

How awful for everyone involved to have this come to light on national television.

All the woman involved should be thanking their lucky stars that it is over, and they are not stuck dealing with this Peter Pan, Man-child.

 

[lillygator]

I don't think Brad had anything to do with flying Deanna's father out there, the way I understood it was the show felt so sure he was going to pick Deanna, that they sent him out.

 

[babieemelly]

I'm no huge fan of Brad since he had no personality, but for everyone to say he's "psychologically torn" or needs therapy or has some serious mental problems or isn't normal, are you guys serious?! It's a TV show. He didn't find someone he loved enough to want to pursue a serious relationship. It's not just casually dating someone you met at the local coffee shop. Since they met on a TV show, just "casually dating" and hanging out in the real world would involve some serious life changes. As much as Brad may have cared about Deanna, if he didn't truly love her and believe that the relationship could progress, why would he have her move to Texas and restart her entire life with him? If he didn't think things would work out, wouldn't uprooting her entire life only for things to end a few months later only cause bigger problems?

Everyone's being very harsh. This is just some guy on a reality dating show who didn't find his match. Saying he needs therapy for not wanting to uproot a woman's life just for things not to work out is crazy. Worse things have happened on The Bachelor. Lorenzo dumped his pick (Jen) for the runner up (Sadie) after the show ended!

These women were willing to put themselves in the middle of a cattle call. They gave some random guy picked out by television producers the power to date 25 different women at once, wrap them all around his finger, and then pick and choose from them as he pleased. This is already the 11th season of the Bachelor, these women knew the format of the show. I just can't feel bad for them. Like I said, having your heart broken out in the real world sucks, but if you're that desperate to find "love" that you give some random guy the power to play with your heart (while he's already playing with 25 other women all on television!), then you're gonna have it coming to you. And to still be whining and crying about it two and a half months later is just sad. In my opinion, Deanna's gorgeous and a strong, successful woman. She needs to get over it and move on before she makes herself look any more humiliated.

 

[hipporina]

I don't think Brad had anything to do with flying Deanna's father out there, the way I understood it was the show felt so sure he was going to pick Deanna, that they sent him out.

Actually, they said on the show that Brad asked them to fly the dad out.

I agree with Deanna that it just didn't make sense. If he really cared for her like he did, why didn't he want to date her? If he has said, its just not there and I'm not that into you, that would have been different. But, he kept saying that he did care for her a lot and thought about her all the time. What more does he want in someone to date? It is very strange.

 

[Ride Junkie]

I liked how it ended. I think they usually get too wrapped up in all the engagement drama for the sake of television, then they break it off soon afterward.

Besides, seeing Deanna’s face after hearing that Jenni had been sent home…then finding out SHE was also being sent home... She was one of the meanest girls in the house, and she showed as much emotion as a parking meter. Brilliant ending!

 

[babieemelly]

Actually, they said on the show that Brad asked them to fly the dad out.

I agree with Deanna that it just didn't make sense. If he really cared for her like he did, why didn't he want to date her? If he has said, its just not there and I'm not that into you, that would have been different. But, he kept saying that he did care for her a lot and thought about her all the time. What more does he want in someone to date? It is very strange.

Like I said in my last post, why risk it if he just wasn't feeling it? It's completely possible to care about someone more than anything and to think about them all the time, but not to be in love with them. It's like that with my close friends and I. It's one of those "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" kinds of deals. And if he feels that way, why bother dating her? It's not like they live in the same area and could easily go out and see how the relationship progresses. Them dating would entail Deanna moving to Texas and uprooting her entire life. Why would she even want to leave her home, her family and friends, her job and the rest of her life to start over in a completely new and different place just to date some guy who kind of likes her but doesn't see himself ever loving her?!

THAT wouldn't make sense.

 

[Texa]

I still think this is what happened too, but what I don't understand is how it can go from that, to not even wanting to see the person again. That's what has me confused.

Several couples from the show have gone on to date in "the real world". Of course, there isn't such a great track record, but if he had feelings for her, any amount them even, why didn't he at least want to see her again?

And then to whisper that in her ear? That was just wrong and there's no spinning that one.

Yep. What she said. I'm all for the "well at least he had the integrity" except he should have let her go with dignity. Why did he have to say "I just said good-bye to Jenny"? There is no reason to think that it would do anything but get her hopes up. He may have done the right thing by not choosing either women, but he went about it the WRONG way.

 

[JanetRose]

He's just not that into you. The End.

 

[babieemelly]

Yep. What she said. I'm all for the "well at least he had the integrity" except he should have let her go with dignity. Why did he have to say "I just said good-bye to Jenny"? There is no reason to think that it would do anything but get her hopes up. He may have done the right thing by not choosing either women, but he went about it the WRONG way.

He said it that way because this is TV we're talking about. The Bachelor has nothing to do with finding true love and watching people ride off into the sunset; it's about ratings. As sad as it is, TV producers would rather have drama, broken hearts and big surprises. They're not about to spare anyone's feelings if their "pain" could equal bigger ratings.

 

[Robinrs]

Why? Not everyone is cut out for marriage. That doesn't mean they need therapy. I've never been married. I used to date a lot. I was in a very serious relationship, but it didn't work out. I have still had a very full and happy life. I don't think because I didn't decide to marry that I need therapy. IMHO, he showed integrity by going against the norm and walking away. He could have picked one of the girls and then dumped her.

On a previous bachelor (the prince), he picked a girl. But, if my memory serves, he didn't give her the ring. He told her that he would if it worked out, but he wasn't ready to commit. I'd rather see that instead of them jumping into a marriage that didn't work. I think I heard that the doctor bachelor dumped the girl he picked.

I'm in the same boat. I'm not a commitment phobe, either, I just am NOT the marrying type. I like VARIETY and to bring that into a marriage is NOT a good thing.. ...so I heard.

He's just not that into you. The End.

It's easier to tell someone you care but I think he said over and over that he did NOT LOVE THEM...

women tend to hear what they want to hear.

 

[Deb & Bill]

I think all the girls dodged a big bullet. But I have to wonder, who had the notion to recommend him for the role of Bachelor? Surely they must be laughing big time.

For someone who had no problem telling all the girls how fabulous they were, what great qualities they had, how they were just what he imagined for a wife, how he enjoyed being with them, ..., he sure had a problem getting out of that room last night.

 

[disykat]

I think Brad did the right thing not proposing or pretending he was almost ready to. I ccan see how dating two women pretty intimately - something he had to do due to the show's format - could lead to some real confusion. I find the fact that some DO go on to choose one actually more confusing than the fact that he couldn't. The whole show is built around "leading people on," a skill he seemed to have.

That said, Brad has issues with goodbyes. From the Hilary thing I already guessed that. I know people thought she was clueless, but he never SAID what he meant. He'd get as far as "we are great friends," but never quite made it to the BUT... She didn't hear it because he never came out with it.

Last night was more of the same. He said things like missing them, and how invested in them he was rather than telling them that, despite how wonderful they are, he just wasn't that into them.

He seems to have the "softening them for the blow" part down, but never gets to the actual blow. Even his last words to DeAnna were still trying to get back on her goodside and save himself the trauma of being "mean" to someone.

 

[goofy's friends]

I think Brad did the right thing not proposing or pretending he was almost ready to. I ccan see how dating two women pretty intimately - something he had to do due to the show's format - could lead to some real confusion. I find the fact that some DO go on to choose one actually more confusing than the fact that he couldn't. The whole show is built around "leading people on," a skill he seemed to have.

That said, Brad has issues with goodbyes. From the Hilary thing I already guessed that. I know people thought she was clueless, but he never SAID what he meant. He'd get as far as "we are great friends," but never quite made it to the BUT... She didn't hear it because he never came out with it.

Last night was more of the same. He said things like missing them, and how invested in them he was rather than telling them that, despite how wonderful they are, he just wasn't that into them.

He seems to have the "softening them for the blow" part down, but never gets to the actual blow. Even his last words to DeAnna were still trying to get back on her goodside and save himself the trauma of being "mean" to someone.

Excellent point! Throughout the whole show, I kept saying how bad with words he was! I think that combined with his father leaving him (causing fear of commitment, IMO) was a recipe for disaster for the bachelor. I still think he did the right thing, not moving her to Texas, etc. but he just didn't know how to explain himself even after 2 1/2 months of thinking it over!

 

[Steamboat Marti]

OK - here's my issue with it. I get that she's not the one and I understand that. But on the show last night Deanna said (and I'm paraphrasing) "you told me that you'd see me Saturday. And not to worry that it was going to be a good ending". That kind of sentence would lead me on whether or not I was on a reality show! Somebody tells me that it will be a good ending, I've got to figure that it meant we would be together. Maybe not engaged, but seeing each other after the show ended at least. So if Brad did say that (since none of us were there we'll never really be sure) then that's my problem with it. DON'T tell somebody it'll be a good ending and then wonder why they are upset when you take a powder.

I don't think Deanna was crying because they're not engaged, I think she's crying because he said some things and then took a powder. Quite confusing to say the least.

 

[Deb & Bill]

I agree with you, Marti. They kept hearing sweet things from him and then all of a sudden it's over??? I saw so much more from him with his brothers than I saw with him and his mom or any of the girls. He really looked happy to be with his brothers and not as much so with all the females. Not much different than a Woman Hater's Club that some 9 year old boys might have (I'm thinking Spanky, Alfalfa and the rest of the Little Rascals here), but more relationship with the brothers than anyone else.

I really think he's damaged goods and might need to talk to someone if he intends to ever develop a permanent relationship with a woman. Of course, I don't even play a psychologist on TV....