PrincessMomma - Are you a mom? I hope you're not laying guilt like that on your kids!
I think some of the dissenters must not have understood the whole of the situation.
It was explained on another thread that there are actually a lot of children and teens who visit this board and chime in about stuff, than we previously thought. It would definitely explain the reading comprehension problems so many people had reading this thread.
One person had it explained by different people
four times and
still got it wrong, then started guilt tripping for something they don't understand.
So this is not the first time your brother has tried this stunt. He sounds like a real charmer.
Some people have said that she is your mother so you should just do this for her. But she is also your brother's mother right so he should do this for her too. I hope this makes sense.
Good luck! and have a wonderful holiday.
no, you're right, i'd be aggravated too.
I kind of understand all of the "she's your mother" things, but honestly - all parties are adults capable of making their own decisions. I don't think it's right to suddenly expect someone else to change their plans just because you suddenly decided you wanted to do something, parental relationship or not. Respect goes both ways, ya know?
But really, if you don't want to drive your mom to your brother's house, just don't do it. It really is his responsibiity if he invited someone who he knows does not drive.
BINGO! These are it in a nutshell.
You invited your adult mom
twice. She declined for whatever reasons. Period.
She, instead, had decided to spend Thanksgiving at your brothers. This entire situation now doesn't involve you. In fact, you said her back up plans fell through, so again, she wasn't involving you. Once she declined you, her situation no longer involved you.
She is a lucid adult. She must by now, be aware of her actions and decisions and know that decisions have parameters with a limited amount of options and carry consequences.
Your brother is an adult. HE, TOO has consequences and responsibilities for his actions and decisions. If HE invites your mom and she accepts, knowing she doesn't drive, it is HIS responsibility to see that she gets back and forth round trip. (Not your responsibility for an event that no longer involved you.
Maybe you can give your brother's email to all those who've been guilt tripping YOU. So they can guilt trip him into getting his behind off the couch, since HE is the one HOSTING your mom, not you. HE should make her feel welcome by being excited to drive over and pick her up. that's an extra 2 hr 40 minutes he gets to spend with her,
than if you drove her.
Your mom and your brother are trying to use you. If either of them call you, you need to gently explain to them that you invited mom twice to be part of your family's plans. Since she and your brother made plans instead, great, but her travel arrangements really don't involve you. Your BROTHER and MOTHER need to work out plans themselves, which do not involve you.
For the continual guilt trippers: It's not like PD is putting his mom out homeless on the street.
You're just adding to the melodrama.
She made other plans and SHE and the other brother are responsible for carrying them out. There are also car services.
PD, Happy Thanksgiving!
Glad you will be getting away from all this drama. Don't cave or it will happen again next year.
And if you have great prime rib rub or au jus,
PLEASE PM it to me, pretty please.
(in my own mind, not that dmom would want me to feel tht way)
