Texting etiquette- parent/child

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

No, it wasn’t rude. The whole point of texting is to be quick and efficient in your communication.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

So I guess I’m the only one out there telling my kids that when they would like me to drop whatever I’m doing and pick them up because they’re done with whatever activity they have been enjoying, they can at least throw a “please” or even a “pls” in there? Because I’m neither their chauffeur nor their servant? Ok.

I’m fine with brevity, I’m not fine with commands or disrespect.

And yes, the convo my friend posted on fb was not particularly cute or funny. Yes, she shares a lot.

Is this going to be one of those posts where you ask if people agree with you and then you get irritated when they don’t?

 

[anniemae]

I think it was short and to the point, which is kind of the beauty of texting. If I am in a store and can't find DH, I'll text him "where r u?"

Would I say that IRL? No, if I called him, I would more likely say, "Hey honey, I'm over in the kids clothes looking for a dress for Callie but I can't find anything. I'm ready to go get lunch, where are you so we can get going?"

Now maybe the child in the OP's situation could have added a "please," or added a happy face to show he was appreciative, but I think what matters more is how he acts in person.

 

[BLAZEY]

look sms stands for SHORT MESSAGE SERVICE.

Its quick, short snappy communication, do not expect a novel. yet another dinosaur not getting that communication has evolved from telegrams!

Except telegrams were expected to be short and to the point, just like a text. The point of a telegraph was to send direct important messages over a long distance as quickly as possible. Our phones are just portable, paperless, telegraph offices.

 

[cabanafrau]

I see nothing wrong with the text if this was merely an informational text about timing for an anticipated pickup.

I do think it's lame that a parent needs to post it to FB to spur support, presumably to then take back to her son and bolster her point that she found his text unacceptable. If we're going to sink to needing social media hand holding in order to make minor parenting decisions we're doomed.

I also foresee a parent who cannot get their kid's attention later on when there are bigger issues because the kid has tuned out the parent's logic as ridiculous. This isn't even a molehill to engage in a skirmish over. Smart parents realize it's wise to conserve your ammo to avoid battle fatigue.

 

[fauna74]

Don't see anything wrong. Texting is supposed to be short and to the point. Hopefully the child said "Thanks Mom" when your friend showed up.

The only thing you are going to accomplish by telling your child to try again and use some manners is that your child will deem you an uninformed tech person and will just stop talking to you.

I find it much ruder to post and trash a 12 year old that is not yours on a discussion board.

No, when I point out to my kids they are being rude, they change their behavior. They’re certainly not going to stop talking to me because I’m teaching them how to be in the world. They are better people than that.

Please show me where I “trashed” anybody? I was looking for a discussion on texting vs etiquette. And really, I was curious as to what other people find appropriate or acceptable. It’s certainly been eye opening but not surprising considering the tenor of the discourse I see everyday.

 

[indimom]

Ours would have said...

Done.

where?

Back.


That's the beauty of text. Although my 18yo did warn me that my "thumbs up" that, to me, means okay or got it... can be a shut down to others. I appreciated the heads up. I never thought it could be taken as rude.

 

[cabanafrau]

Ours would have said...

Done.

where?

Back.


That's the beauty of text. Although my 18yo did warn me that my "thumbs up" that, to me, means okay or got it... can be a shut down to others. I appreciated the heads up. I never thought it could be taken as rude.

But do you really text to any and everybody like that, or simply close family or a close friend you're possibly picking up or meeting for a specific purpose? Such clipped messages are for very specific purposes, not any and all texting at all times.

 

[fauna74]

Is this going to be one of those posts where you ask if people agree with you and then you get irritated when they don’t?

I just thought this would maybe be an interesting discussion in this day and age where texting is probably the most common form of communication. It’s certainly been eye opening, but in the end not surprising.
And, honestly, the day I require validation from the Disboards is the day you can take me out back and shoot me.

 

[Hrhpd]

No, when I point out to my kids they are being rude, they change their behavior. They’re certainly not going to stop talking to me because I’m teaching them how to be in the world. They are better people than that.

Please show me where I “trashed” anybody? I was looking for a discussion on texting vs etiquette. And really, I was curious as to what other people find appropriate or acceptable. It’s certainly been eye opening but not surprising considering the tenor of the discourse I see everyday.

You said your children were polite and this 12 year old was rude. That you would not have accepted this text from your polite children.

The thing is, you are completely wrong. You are not teaching your polite children how to be in the world because texting is supposed to be short. That is not poor etiquette. Texting etiquette would suggest that a long and lengthy text would be impolite.

You have NO idea how polite the 12 year olds were when Mom arrived. They could have gushed all over, "Thanks Mom for coming and getting us." Since Mom thought it was cute, obviously, they have an understanding on how they text each other. Again, you have no idea how polite he was to his mother when she arrived, so you shouldn't judge.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Isn't it part of your job as an adult to pick your child from whatever event he or she is at? Like, it's band practice, and they need a ride home. Is a please necessary? Isn't a ride expected?

In this situation, maybe the child went somewhere with friends. I would assume the child asked politely ahead of time to go to wherever and ask for a ride home.

 

[RedAngie]

Except telegrams were expected to be short and to the point, just like a text. The point of a telegraph was to send direct important messages over a long distance as quickly as possible. Our phones are just portable, paperless, telegraph offices.

Yep, telegrams were charged by the word or the line of print so most were succinct and concise.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I just thought this would maybe be an interesting discussion in this day and age where texting is probably the most common form of communication. It’s certainly been eye opening, but in the end not surprising.
And, honestly, the day I require validation from the Disboards is the day you can take me out back and shoot me.

Sooooooooo...yes.

 

[fauna74]

You said your children were polite and this 12 year old was rude. That you would not have accepted this text from your polite children.

The thing is, you are completely wrong. You are not teaching your polite children how to be in the world because texting is supposed to be short. That is not poor etiquette. Texting etiquette would suggest that a long and lengthy text would be impolite.

You have NO idea how polite the 12 year olds were when Mom arrived. They could have gushed all over, "Thanks Mom for coming and getting us."

I’m sorry, you must be confusing my post with someone else’s. I never said the 12 year old was rude.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I’m sorry, you must be confusing my post with someone else’s. I never said the 12 year old was rude.

I’ve taught my kids to be polite and respectful in all forms of communication. But maybe it’s just me, as my friend posted this without a second thought and no one has commented that he was a little rude or demanding. (My answer to the above text would have been “Try again and use some manners this time”)

I'm confused. Isn't that exactly what you said?

 

[ashley0139]

Sometimes I can't believe the things people get worked up over.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Imagine this conversation.

Thursday afternoon:
Son: "Mom, would it be ok for some friends and I to go to a movie tomorrow?"
Mother: "Sure, honey. that's fine."
Son: "OK, Timmy's mom can take us, but could you please pick me up afterwards?"
Mother: "That's fine."


Friday evening text:
Son: “Come get me now, pull to the back and let me know when you get here”
Mother: "You didn't say please."

 

[lorimay]

You are on a form or social media right now and you are sharing your cute baby's picture and have shared parts of your life almost 8,000 times.

Nope, not really the same. I don't share intimate details of my life on this board or a minute by minute conversation.

 

[msjprincess]

Is this going to be one of those posts where you ask if people agree with you and then you get irritated when they don’t?

 

[Skellingtonj]

There is no need for etiquette here. It completely depends on the child/parent relationship. I see nothing wrong with this exchange.