Teenage Bullying-What do we do?

[Pea-n-Me]

All of the details have not been released yet. But bits and pieces are coming through.

Nine Massachusetts teens were indicted Monday for driving a pretty 15-year-old "new girl" from Ireland to suicide in a case that has become a symbol of high school bullying.

The sweeping charges - which come after months of complaints that the bullies weren't being punished - include statutory rape, violation of civil rights with bodily injury, criminal harassment and stalking.

Phoebe Prince, a new arrival at South Hadley High School from a tiny seaside hamlet in County Clare, was mercilessly tormented by a cadre of classmates later dubbed the "Mean Girls" by Massachusetts newspapers.

"The investigation revealed relentless activity directed toward Phoebe designed to humiliate her and to make it impossible for her to remain at school," District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel said.

"The bullying, for her, became intolerable."

Students said Phoebe was called "Irish slut" and "*****" on Twitter, Craigslist, Facebook and Formspring.

Her books were routinely knocked out of her hands, items were flung at her, her face was scribbled out of photographs on the school walls, and threatening text messages were sent to her cell phone.

Scheibel said she had drawn the ire of the "Mean Girls" by briefly dating a popular senior football player in her first freshman weeks at the school. One student later said it felt like the whole school ganged up on her.

On Jan. 14, Phoebe was harassed and threatened in the school library and in a hallway, Scheibel said. As she walked home, one of the "Mean Girls" drove by and threw a can of Red Bull at her.

Phoebe walked into her house and hung herself in a stairwell.

The nastiness didn't even end there. Her tormentors posted vicious comments on the dead girl's Facebook memorial page.
For months, community anger simmered that no punishment had befallen Phoebe's bullies. Petitions were signed and town hall meetings held.

Scheibel said her investigators were taking the time to investigate thoroughly, and she slammed "the inexplicable lack of cooperation from Internet service providers, in particular Facebook and Craigslist."

Seven of the nine teens indicted were girls charged with a range of crimes, from criminal harassment to stalking to civil rights violations. A juvenile girl was charged with assault by means of a dangerous weapon - the Red Bull can.

The two males, 17 and 18, were charged with statutory rape.

Unveiling the indictments, Scheibel said numerous faculty members, staff members and administrators at South Hadley High School were aware of the bullying - some even witnessed physical abuse - and did nothing.

She said the investigation looked at whether the adults' failure to help Phoebe amounted to criminal behavior.

"In our opinion, it did not," she said. "Nevertheless, the actions - or inactions - of some adults at the school are troublesome."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...new_girl_driven_to_suicide_by_teenage_cy.html

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Just HOW can you be cyber-bullied? If someone's being mean to you on a given site (say, Facebook), why would you continue to go back there to read more mean stuff? Why not avoid that place? Why purposefully walk back into it day after day?

What is Cyberbullying?
An explanation of the growing phenomenon of cyberbullying

Young people are using the Internet more than ever and most have Internet access from home. For many children, the Internet isn't simply a convenient way to research or a fun afterschool activity - it's a big part of their social life. Emailing and chatting with friends are children's most common online activities, after studying and playing games. But like many other social situations, some kids bully other kids online.

Cyberbullying is similar to other types of bullying, except it takes place online and through text messages sent to cell phones. Cyberbullies can be classmates, online acquaintances, and even anonymous users, but most often they do know their victims.

Some examples of ways kids bully online are

Sending someone mean or threatening emails, instant messages, or text messages
Excluding someone from an instant messenger buddy list or blocking their email for no reason
Tricking someone into revealing personal or embarrassing information and sending it to others
Breaking into someone's email or instant message account to send cruel or untrue messages while posing as that person
Creating websites to make fun of another person such as a classmate or teacher
Using websites to rate peers as prettiest, ugliest, etc.
Both boys and girls sometimes bully online and just as in face-to-face bullying, tend to do so in different ways. Boys more commonly bully by sending messages of a sexual nature or by threatening to fight or hurt someone. Girls more often bully by spreading rumors and by sending messages that make fun of someone or exclude others. They also tell secrets.

The Effects of Cyberbullying
Victims of cyberbullying may experience many of the same effects as children who are bullied in person, such as a drop in grades, low self-esteem, a change in interests, or depression. However cyberbullying can seem more extreme to its victims because of several factors:

It occurs in the child's home. Being bullied at home can take away the place children feel most safe.
It can be harsher. Often kids say things online that they wouldn't say in person, mainly because they can't see the other person's reaction.
It can be far reaching. Kids can send emails making fun of someone to their entire class or school with a few clicks, or post them on a website for the whole world to see.
It can be anonymous. Cyberbullies often hide behind screen names and email addresses that don't identify who they are. Not knowing who is responsible for bullying messages can add to a victim's insecurity.
It may seem inescapable. It may seem easy to get away from a cyberbully by just getting offline, but for some kids not going online takes away one of the major places they socialize.
Cyberbullying can be a complicated issue, especially for adults who are not as familiar with using the Internet, instant messenger, or chat rooms as kids. But like more typical forms of bullying, it can be prevented when kids know how to protect themselves and parents are available to help.

http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullying/what-is-cyberbullying

Bullying has become increasingly common in schools throughout the United States.

The National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center estimated that nearly 30 percent of American youth are either a bully or a target of bullying.

In addition, researchers at the Yale School of Medicine, in a new review of studies from 13 countries, found signs of an apparent connection between bullying, being bullied and suicide.

"The incidence of bullying is getting more and more frequent and takes lots of forms," said Herbert Nieberg, associate professor of criminal justice at Mitchell College in Connecticut and a psychologist who specializes in adolescents.

And when the bullying moves to the Internet, the trauma to the victim is "astronomically" escalated, according to Nieberg.

"In the old days kids would threaten to beat someone up, but now it's gone into the cyberworld," he told ABCNews.com. "Kids go on to Facebook because they get a wider audience than in the hallway."

Cyberbullying also appeals to the crowd instinct, according to Nieberg. "Everybody likes to watch the action. Why do three girls on Long Island beat up another young woman and put it on YouTube? They vicariously enjoy identifying with the aggressor."

Why some teens can survive their tormentors and others cannot depends on their self-image and psychological mood. "Anyone with a mood disorder is at risk," said Nieberg.

"The answer is vulnerability versus resiliency," he said. "Some kids are good copers."

But some advocates say Massachusetts, a typically progressive state, falls behind 37 other states that have taken action on school bullying. Several bills before the state legislature address school bullying.

House Bill 483, sponsored by the Anti-Defamation League of New England, would require schools to have anti-bullying training and procedures in place. It would also require districts to produce an annual report citing incidents for the state legislature and the department of primary and secondary education

"We take no comfort or false security that we grew up with bullying and what's the big deal, we survived," said Derrek Shulman, regional director of the ADL.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/cyber-...-teen-irish-immigrant/story?id=9660938&page=2

 

[themilesfamily]

The media contacted the parents of one of the boys who was charged with rape in this incident.

The parent's only comment:

"You don't know the whole story."

Pray tell, what would the rest of the story be? That your child is a sweet flower who would never do such a thing? That it was somehow the girl's fault? That's usually the route these parents go.

How about, at the very least, saying "I'm sorry that a life was lost here?"

They weren't able to reach the homes of any of the other students charged.

ETA: Oh, pardon me, I spoke too soon -- from today's paper:

Headline: "Mom of teen charged with bullying South Hadley H.S. student Phoebe Prince into suicide blames victim"

The mother of one of the "Mean Girls" charged with bullying 15-year-old Phoebe Prince to death defended her daughter Tuesday, saying she never lifted a hand against the tormented girl but just "called her names."

Angeles Chanon admitted that her daughter, Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16, had once been suspended from school for verbally abusing Phoebe - but blamed the bullied girl for starting it.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...ent_phoebe_prince_into_sui.html#ixzz0jj0JhoCH

 

[aristocatz]

Oh, pardon me, I spoke too soon -- from today's paper:

Headline: "Mom of teen charged with bullying South Hadley H.S. student Phoebe Prince into suicide blames victim"

The mother of one of the "Mean Girls" charged with bullying 15-year-old Phoebe Prince to death defended her daughter Tuesday, saying she never lifted a hand against the tormented girl but just "called her names."

Angeles Chanon admitted that her daughter, Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16, had once been suspended from school for verbally abusing Phoebe - but blamed the bullied girl for starting it.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...ent_phoebe_prince_into_sui.html#ixzz0jj0JhoCH

I read that too. Several parents of her classmates posted on our local message boards and stated that Phoebe never fought back when she was bullied. Occassionally, other kids would stick up for her, but otherwise, she just quietly took it

This is another article that tells some more info about this case. This article states that some of these kids could be locked up for 10 years. Here's hoping...
http://www.slate.com/id/2249307/

 

[Tomader]

I know you can't second guess now but the mother of the victim should have pulled her out of that school. There comes a point when you can't do anymore. If the authorities can't help you then who can?? That is why I stated in a previous post the parent has to take control. The only one who cares the most about the child is (most of the time) the parent's. I also think everyone needs a really 'BIG" friend. Someone people would not want to mess with. Or if the most popular kid would stand up and take a stand with a kid that is bullied others may back down. Kids need protectors. Maybe that could be a new service??? Bodyguards??? I'm joking but not a bad thought???

 

[hentob]

Could you imagine if you went to work every day and were harassed every minute of every day? If people called you stupid all day? If they physically assaulted you? If they posted things about you online?



You would have a lawsuit, people would lose their jobs, bosses would be fired

But in school, nothing is done It is “innocent bullying”

Schools need to revamp their systems and have stricter bullying rules.


This case is so sad. But, look at the parents of the bullies Pathetic.

 

[hentob]

I'm a couple of towns over from South Hadley and it's been on my mind since it happened. I too was bulllied in high school and have been dealing with it since then. I've been to therapy and I think I've overcome a lot of it, but it sucks.

 

[luvsJack]

Everyone keeps saying that the mother should have pulled her child out. Its easy to say that you would do that but much harder to know what you would do in the situation.

When ds was bullied (it was one boy not a group, Thank God) we went to the school administration ("just stay away from him or ignore him" was there advice to ds ), to the football coach (the only person who actually took action, sadly it didn't work), to the boy's step father (mother refused to let him do anything). None of this did anything. We were in the middle of all this trying to get action done and DS just started saying that the boy was leaving him alone (he later said that he figured no one could make him stop so why keep telling us). Until ds stood up and decided to strike back, we honestly thought that things were better for him.

They may have been trying to get something done and honestly believed that somebody would take action, they may have thought (from their daughter) that it was getting better, they may not have realized that they had the right to pull her out and home school her or what all that entailed.

The parents of these kids should be charged right along with their kids. If they are actually defending their actions now, chances are they knew about it all along. Secondly, the school administration should be charged too. They have a responsibility to protect the students and they failed to do that.

Our school now has a policy on bullies. Dd's class just went through all that because of a girl that decided she could bully anybody and everybody. I emailed the teacher about her and unknown to me, so did several other parents. They brought in an outside investigator (who is a former teacher and school district administrator). We are not sure what was done in the end but the girl has, so far, decided to behave herself. Maybe she was told that criminal charges could come next, that is what should have happened. Its past time to get tough on bullies and the time to stop it is before it becomes this big. (the girl in dd's class was already starting to get a couple of "followers" so luckily they stopped it before it went too far). I am amazed that in this day and time there are still school districts that do not have some type of policy on bullying.

 

[Tomader]

I'm afraid bullies will never go away. I think we have to teach our kids how to deal with them. Schools should be fined large amounts of money for failing to take action when problems arise. Parent's of kids that bully other kids should be fined a large amount of money for this behavior. It has to start with adults. If they are not being held accountable then how can we just blame the kids? Too many times we have to look back after the fact. We think how sad that something like this happened. I'm sure it's happening everyday to someone else. We need to have help for these kids! Kids should have resources available for them so if they need to talk to someone or file a complaint against a bully they have somewhere to go. These kids should have rights and be protected under the law!! If we can help them now think about all the future problems we could help go away. I think something needs to be added to the healthcare bill! This falls under Preventive Care. Take care of the problem today so that tomorrow the problem may not be as bad.

 

[hentob]

. Schools should be fined large amounts of money for failing to take action when problems arise. Parent's of kids that bully other kids should be fined a large amount of money for this behavior. It has to start with adults. If they are not being held accountable then how can we just blame the kids?

You bully? The school better SUSPEND you for a few days and let you think about what you are doing (and while your Bully Butt is collecting zeros on tests that you are NOT allowed to makeup)

Enough of this garbage at school. They force our children to go to public school (sorry, I can't afford $20K for private), yet they don't protect them from the "bad kids"

 

[hentob]

I would move, move to a new school district, and/or homeschool.

All of these things are easier said than done

 

[aristocatz]

Again, I want to bring up the possibility of how much did the parents know about what was going on? This was a very quiet little girl who moved here from Ireland only a year ago. She was likely humiliated and embarrassed. I know when I was bullied as a child, I did not tell my parents everything. I was embarrassed and I remember my mom always saying things like "Oh, you should be friends with so & so-they come from a nice family" The reason why they moved to America was that the parents wanted the kids to "experience America". Phoebe might have felt uncomfortable telling her mom that the dream mom had for her kids was not working out. The other piece of info that I've been reading about on local message boards is that I do not think the dad was in the U.S. I think it was just mom & the kids (and some relatives who lived here) & dad was back in Ireland. I read an article that stated that Phoebe was looking forward to taking an upcoming trip to Ireland to see her dad who she had not seen in a while.

I'm just not sure that the mom knew her options. & again the s.o.b.'s n the school district who the mom complained to LIE. They have been lying to cover their a--es since this whole thing came about-saying that they had a bullying task force (which did not actually get put into place until right after her death), saying that they had instilled disciplinary action on these kids prior to her death (when 3 of them were still walking the school halls up until this past Monday-she died in January), saying that they enrolled Phoebe in therapy at school (utter BS-they actually had an adjustment councilor follow her case at school. Adjustment councilors in my area have anywhere between 50-100 kids on their caseload. They likely popped in and observed her for a few minutes every once in a while or talked to her once or twice briefly. The principal dd not even spurt out this lie until he was recently interviewed.). The family is now gone-they up & left South Hadley & headed back to Ireland soon after Phoebe's death, so of course the school system is now saying whatever they want to make it look like they did something to help this poor girl.

Anyways, my point is, if they are lying to all of us, they likely lied to the mom and said that they were taking care of it but it would take time.

& the sickest thing is, even after her death, they have done very little to rectify the bullying issue in their school The had a few school & town meetings to save face, but that's really it. Not too long ago, a news station went to the school & interviewed some students. One student who was interviewed admitted on camera that bullying was very prevalent and current in their school. After the cameramen left, this poor girl was shoved against a locker and punched in the head for saying that on camera. This is not an urban school district with inner city kids where fights are prevalent. This is your all american middle class rural town.

 

[luvmy3]

The media contacted the parents of one of the boys who was charged with rape in this incident.

The parent's only comment:

"You don't know the whole story."

Pray tell, what would the rest of the story be? That your child is a sweet flower who would never do such a thing? That it was somehow the girl's fault? That's usually the route these parents go.

Were the 2 males charged with anything other that statutory rape? I'm not sure if in the bolded statement you are referring to her death, or the "rape" but if this girl had sex with these boys willingly then there was no rape, so that wasn't the boys fault. I'm not quite sure what else these boys are charged with, if its none of the things that the 7 "mean girls" were charged with I can totally see their parents defending them.
I'm not excusing these kid's behaviors but from the article it seems that all the incidents involved a certain group of girls. The victim dated a boy, it is claimed he was using her, for what, sex? for some plot so that they could start bullying her? was it typical boyfriend/girlfriend stuff that made some other one of the mean girls jealous? There are plenty of reasons why that parent would say "you don't know the whole story".

I may have missed it in this thread, but if there is a post stating just what the boys did, could someone post the # TIA

 

[luvmy3]

& the sickest thing is, even after her death, they have done very little to rectify the bullying issue in their school The had a few school & town meetings to save face, but that's really it. Not too long ago, a news station went to the school & interviewed some students. One student who was interviewed admitted on camera that bullying was very prevalent and current in their school. After the cameramen left, this poor girl was shoved against a locker and punched in the head for saying that on camera. This is not an urban school district with inner city kids where fights are prevalent. This is your all american middle class rural town.

Maybe its time for the school to have a police officer on duty permanently to handle these types of situations.

 

[hentob]

One student who was interviewed admitted on camera that bullying was very prevalent and current in their school. After the cameramen left, this poor girl was shoved against a locker and punched in the head for saying that on camera.

The principal should be fired. He/she is doing an awful job. The students are running that school

 

[threecrazykids]

All I have to say is this...Karma is a B*tch and these kids will all meet their maker some day. This poor girl took her own life due to all of these kids actions. Trust me...the big man upstairs saw it all happen and will take care of it accordingly.
These kids will live a life of hell regardless of what the justice system decides for them. They will live with this every single day and I'm sure the townspeople will NEVER let them forget what they did. The parents can move, pull their kids from the school, etc...but I'm sure regardless of where they move to people are going to make sure they never forget. Would YOU welcome those people into your town? I know I wouldn't. They SHOULD be labeled and God willing, they will.

 

[threecrazykids]

This is a recap on who/what is being charged.


* Sean Mulveyhill, 17, of South Hadley, has been charged with statutory rape, criminal harrassment, violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, and disturbing a school assembly.
* Austin Renaud, 18, of Springfield has been charged with statutory rape.
* Kayla Narey, 17, of South Hadley, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, criminal harrassment, disturbing a school assembly.
* Ashley Longe, 16, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury.
* Flannery Mullins, 16, South Hadley, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury and stalking.
* Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16, of South Hadley, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury and stalking.

Three 16-year-old South Hadley girls, whose names were not released, are also facing delinquency charges of violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, criminal harassment, disturbance of a school assembly, and assault by means of a dangerous weapon.

 

[Pikester]

Were the 2 males charged with anything other that statutory rape? I'm not sure if in the bolded statement you are referring to her death, or the "rape" but if this girl had sex with these boys willingly then there was no rape, so that wasn't the boys fault. I'm not quite sure what else these boys are charged with, if its none of the things that the 7 "mean girls" were charged with I can totally see their parents defending them.
I'm not excusing these kid's behaviors but from the article it seems that all the incidents involved a certain group of girls. The victim dated a boy, it is claimed he was using her, for what, sex? for some plot so that they could start bullying her? was it typical boyfriend/girlfriend stuff that made some other one of the mean girls jealous? There are plenty of reasons why that parent would say "you don't know the whole story".

I may have missed it in this thread, but if there is a post stating just what the boys did, could someone post the # TIA

It doesn't matter if she slept with them willingly or not if there is a law in place that states a certain aged boy (legal consent) can not have sex with a certain aged girl (under age of consent). That is called Statutory Rape.

 

[KingstonGirl77]

My 15 yo DD is currently going through this. It started on facebook and has spread to the school and txts. She is very strong and is handling it well. They even started a facebook group against her. I am happy to say her highschool found out about it within a day and the boy who started the group was called in a told to close it and his parents were informed. They also assigned a youth counsellor to my DD.

It will die down eventually we hope but the thing I am most enraged about is that facebook takes forever to respond to reporting of groups. I have been reporting the group for 2 days. The original admin left the group (coward!) and now it cannot be closed until facebook responds to my DD's request to become admin. We are still waiting 24 hrs later!

 

[EMom]

I haven't read all the posts, so I apologize if someone has already made this point......

Yes, bullying is a part of life. But so is rape, murder, child abuse, child molestation, drunk driving and lots of other horrible stuff. Just because something is "a part of life" doesn't mean we should tolerate it. Bullying, to a large extent, can be stopped in its tracks by swift and severe action by the authorities in charge, whether that be school officials or parents. If that involves bringing in the police, so be it. Let a few bullies get the message the hard way and others will get the message too. You may not be able to stop the behavior 100%, but you can decrease it.