Teenage Bullying-What do we do?

[luvmy3]

This is a recap on who/what is being charged.


* Sean Mulveyhill, 17, of South Hadley, has been charged with statutory rape, criminal harrassment, violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, and disturbing a school assembly.
* Austin Renaud, 18, of Springfield has been charged with statutory rape.
* Kayla Narey, 17, of South Hadley, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, criminal harrassment, disturbing a school assembly.
* Ashley Longe, 16, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury.
* Flannery Mullins, 16, South Hadley, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury and stalking.
* Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16, of South Hadley, has been charged with violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury and stalking.

Three 16-year-old South Hadley girls, whose names were not released, are also facing delinquency charges of violation of civil rights resulting in bodily injury, criminal harassment, disturbance of a school assembly, and assault by means of a dangerous weapon.

Thanks for posting, I wasn't sure how the males were involved and what they were charged with.

It doesn't matter if she slept with them willingly or not if there is a law in place that states a certain aged boy (legal consent) can not have sex with a certain aged girl (under age of consent). That is called Statutory Rape.

A boyfriend and girlfriend under the age of consent having consentual sex is not the same crime as rape So for a poster to say that the boy was charged with rape is wrong and for a psoter to say that he is the only one at fault is wrong (if of course the girl was a willing participant, which I don't see anything that says she wasn't).

 

[Hubbs]

Were the 2 males charged with anything other that statutory rape? I'm not sure if in the bolded statement you are referring to her death, or the "rape" but if this girl had sex with these boys willingly then there was no rape, so that wasn't the boys fault. I'm not quite sure what else these boys are charged with, if its none of the things that the 7 "mean girls" were charged with I can totally see their parents defending them.
I'm not excusing these kid's behaviors but from the article it seems that all the incidents involved a certain group of girls. The victim dated a boy, it is claimed he was using her, for what, sex? for some plot so that they could start bullying her? was it typical boyfriend/girlfriend stuff that made some other one of the mean girls jealous? There are plenty of reasons why that parent would say "you don't know the whole story".

I may have missed it in this thread, but if there is a post stating just what the boys did, could someone post the # TIA

Sorry, but adults having sex with children is never ok.

 

[FireDancer]

Sorry, but adults having sex with children is never ok.

A 17 year old and 15 year old are both children (actually minors) so no adult was involved. The 18 year old is probably in trouble but I don't see how the 17 year old is. In many states, including mine, there are allowances for age proximity which might be the only defense for the 18 year old. I don't know how Mass law works.

 

[luvmy3]

Sorry, but adults having sex with children is never ok.

Sorry, a 17 or 18 year old highschool student having sex with his 15 year old highschool student girlfriend is hardly the same a 40 year old pedophile having sex with a child.
BTW, I never said that there shouldn't be a law against statutory rape, however it cannot be compared to the violent crime of rape

 

[Motherofboys]

Sorry, but adults having sex with children is never ok.

One of the boys was 17, that may be an adult under MA laws for a boy, I don't know.

It really does not seem fair to consider a 17 year old boy that has sex with a willing 15 year old girl to be a rapist.

As of May, 2006 - Kansas has a minimum marriage age of 15....the age of consent in Ireland is 17.

Just a few things to think about when taking these young men's actions into account.

I am not condoning their behavior at all, but I don't think it is fair to equate statutory rape with rape either.

 

[agnes!]

The boy or boys had sex with the girl who took her own life and then the two boys apparently spread the news far and wide. I think the girl was 14, a HS freshman, when the acts occurred. The boys were both seniors, 17 or 18.

I am surprised that no charges have been filed against the adults who stood by and apparently did nothing to help this girl. Sounds to me like there were many adults who should at least be fired form the school system because they had knowledge that this issue was an ongoing problem.

agnes!

 

[Motherofboys]

The boy or boys had sex with the girl who took her own life and then the two boys apparently spread the news far and wide. I think the girl was 14, a HS freshman, when the acts occurred. The boys were both seniors, 17 or 18.

I am surprised that no charges have been filed against the adults who stood by and apparently did nothing to help this girl. Sounds to me like there were many adults who should at least be fired form the school system because they had knowledge that this issue was an ongoing problem.

agnes!

What happened to this girl was a tragedy and the response of the school is certainly alarming, that is true.

But I think it is a huge jump to say that somehow the school/teachers/administrators should have been involved in anything to do with the girl and the two boys.

The school and teachers should get involved everytime that they hear a senior is having sex with a freshman? Willing sex? Every time a girl is called a mean name for sleeping around? Every time they hear that a boy is bragging about who he nailed? Really? What else would they have time to do in a high school if they were doing this?

Do people here remember high school???

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I may have missed it in this thread, but if there is a post stating just what the boys did, could someone post the # TIA

That exact information has not been released to the public yet.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

There is disagreement re charges among some of the officials investigating and prosecuting this case. I saw one article where a former DA was angry that school officials weren't charged.

The problem is that we don't HAVE laws right now that address these types of things (bullying, cyberbullying, etc.) so they're coming up with charges that they CAN prosecute. If you think this is harsh, in part it was to protect the perpetrators from a lynch mob mentality - people were OUTRAGED pure and simple that this was allowed to go on for so long. Groups even formed because of this case that helped push through the anti bullying laws we're now forming in MA (and will probably be called Phoebe's Law).

The civil rights violations are in place because these bullies violated her civil rights by making school an intolerable place for her and therefore denying her her right to an education. As for the statuatory rape charges, seeing as these boys "used" Pheobe (and probably taking their actions post relationship into account since, in part because of them, Phoebe was bullied by them and others and eventually killed herself), it was something they could be charged with. Regardless of the outcome, the history of being charged with rape is something they'll have to bear for the rest of their lives, I imagine. We here can disagree about it until the cows come home, but the fact is that those involved believed the charges were warranted based on what facts they do know.

 

[DawnCt1]

It doesn't matter if she slept with them willingly or not if there is a law in place that states a certain aged boy (legal consent) can not have sex with a certain aged girl (under age of consent). That is called Statutory Rape.

I think she was making a point that it wasn't "forceable rape", not that Statutory Rape isn't bad. The adults who knew this was going on should also be held responsible. Schools in Ct. are becoming very proactive with regard to bullying. Last week a local school spent an entire day, every class, talking about bullying and its consequences, both to the victim, the bulliers, the school environment and the community.

 

[Pikester]

I would like everyone to know that when I posted my response:

"It doesn't matter if she slept with them willingly or not if there is a law in place that states a certain aged boy (legal consent) can not have sex with a certain aged girl (under age of consent). That is called Statutory Rape."



I was trying to be informative. I thought that the poster to whom I was responding was asking why the boys were being charged if the sex had been consensual with the girl. I was stating that it did not matter if the girl was agreeable IF the state of MA had an age of consent law therefore allowing for the boys to be charged with Statutory Rape.


I gave no opinion of what I thought should happen.

 

[Hubbs]

One of the boys was 17, that may be an adult under MA laws for a boy, I don't know.

It really does not seem fair to consider a 17 year old boy that has sex with a willing 15 year old girl to be a rapist.

As of May, 2006 - Kansas has a minimum marriage age of 15....the age of consent in Ireland is 17.

Just a few things to think about when taking these young men's actions into account.

I am not condoning their behavior at all, but I don't think it is fair to equate statutory rape with rape either.

Sorry, a 17 or 18 year old highschool student having sex with his 15 year old highschool student girlfriend is hardly the same a 40 year old pedophile having sex with a child.
BTW, I never said that there shouldn't be a law against statutory rape, however it cannot be compared to the violent crime of rape

Massachusetts does allow for age differences, but only in regard to the punishment for the crime. It just seems that some posters here think that because the 14 yo gave consent then the act is defendable. IMO anyone old enough to drive is an adult.

 

[FireDancer]

Massachusetts does allow for age differences, but only in regard to the punishment for the crime. It just seems that some posters here think that because the 14 yo gave consent then the act is defendable. IMO anyone old enough to drive is an adult.

You are an adult when you can vote, join the military, and enter into a legally binding contract. With a few exceptions that is 18 just about everywhere.

Also, logically, if a 14 year old girl had consensual sex with an equally under the age of consent 17 year old boy (if 18 is the age of consent) they actually raped each other. It doesn't matter who is older and who is younger. They are both not old enough to consent and therefore raped each other. That is just silly.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I would like everyone to know that when I posted my response:

"It doesn't matter if she slept with them willingly or not if there is a law in place that states a certain aged boy (legal consent) can not have sex with a certain aged girl (under age of consent). That is called Statutory Rape."

I was trying to be informative. I thought that the poster to whom I was responding was asking why the boys were being charged if the sex had been consensual with the girl. I was stating that it did not matter if the girl was agreeable IF the state of MA had an age of consent law therefore allowing for the boys to be charged with Statutory Rape.

I gave no opinion of what I thought should happen.

You were correct. My "till the cows come home" comment was more a reaction to knowing how some of these types of threads get bogged down with arguing back and forth about semantics.

 

[Hubbs]

You are an adult when you can vote, join the military, and enter into a legally binding contract. With a few exceptions that is 18 just about everywhere.

Also, logically, if a 14 year old girl had consensual sex with an equally under the age of consent 17 year old boy (if 18 is the age of consent) they actually raped each other. It doesn't matter who is older and who is younger. They are both not old enough to consent and therefore raped each other. That is just silly.

In Massachusetts having sex with someone under the age of 16 is rape. The problem is that people think that because the 14 yo girl gave consent then there was no rape.

 

[luvmy3]

I would like everyone to know that when I posted my response:

"It doesn't matter if she slept with them willingly or not if there is a law in place that states a certain aged boy (legal consent) can not have sex with a certain aged girl (under age of consent). That is called Statutory Rape."



I was trying to be informative. I thought that the poster to whom I was responding was asking why the boys were being charged if the sex had been consensual with the girl. I was stating that it did not matter if the girl was agreeable IF the state of MA had an age of consent law therefore allowing for the boys to be charged with Statutory Rape.


I gave no opinion of what I thought should happen.

My post was directed at a pp who was stated the boy was charged with rape and that the parent of one of the boys said "you don't know the whole story". I was just trying to point out there is a difference between rape and statutory rape and that 2 consenting teens having sex is not just one of the parties fault.

Massachusetts does allow for age differences, but only in regard to the punishment for the crime. It just seems that some posters here think that because the 14 yo gave consent then the act is defendable. IMO anyone old enough to drive is an adult.

I would say that if that 14 year old willingly gave her consent to have sex then yes the act is defendable because they are just as responsible for having sex as the 17 year old. The circumstances of this case are different because of the bullying and suicide that followed. In other cases of statutory rape I think its sad and unfortunate that these boys are now considered sex offenders because they had sex with their girlfriends.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

I think this has been made pretty clear. From the evidence we have now it was statuatory rape not forcible. It is still a crime but not the same thing.

You can't get rid of bullying, it will always exist. We all saw some bullying when we were growing up. Everyone wants to blame the schools for almost anything any more but I believe all of this comes down to the parents.
The worst thing a school can do is suspend or expel a student and when the kid KNOWS that helicopter mom will go running to the school and say "OH not my baby" it doesn't mean much. The kid gets a free vacation and a hug.
We have created an atmosphere in the schools where the administrators really can't do anything to the students. I'm sure the administration and the teachers feel completely helpless even dealing with this stuff, they have no power.
Remember the administration and teachers are fighting this battle every day on SO many levels. If little Johnny doesn't do his homework it's not his fault. They pass kids along just to avoid the conflicts.
It's getting worse, recently they have started firing all of the teachers in entire schools if the school is underperforming. Can you imagine any business doing this? They can't evaluate the employees individually?
I'm sure teachers are feeling incredibly empowered by that idiotic move.
So the fact the school did nothing doesn't shock or surprise me at all. It would have surprised me more if they actually did do something.
They are just doing what we have empowered them to do.... nothing!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We have created an atmosphere in the schools where the administrators really can't do anything to the students. I'm sure the administration and the teachers feel completely helpless even dealing with this stuff, they have no power.

We have had some issues in our schools (like every other, I suppose) and I have to say I'm quite impressed with the school's handling of them. Infractions are investigated and swift action is taken. Parents are called and expulsion or threats of expulsion (depending on the kids' history and nature of infraction, etc) are real. Efforts are being made to educate students and parents to the ins and outs of bullying and cyberbullying, etc. I'm hearing this more and more from others I know in these parts, too. Their emphasis is on the fact that kids should feel safe at school. They've also said that even if an event hasn't occurred on school property, if it occurs in an area the school serves, ie the community, then it involves the school as well. (Just the messenger on that one, don't shoot me. ) Yes, changes are on the horizon. Parents really need to prepare their kids for them so they're VERY careful about not getting caught up in things that they may think are innocent, like making fun of someone online, going along with the crowd, text teasing, etc. With all the technology we have today, kids using them need to be taught how to use them responsibly if they want to stay out of trouble. (Admittedly, quite challenging for tweens and teens without a lot of maturity and life experience. Even more so why it needs to come from parents.)

 

[mickeylove2]

Wow! While I wouldn't classify rape as bullying- I think there are 2 different instances being dealt with here- obviously the statutory rape charge needs to be dealt with on it's own. As for the bullying, IMO the bullies and their parents, in the parents were aware and didn't intervene, should be charged and sued. The school should be sued, and any adminstrators that were aware and did nothing should be charged. I'd be damned if my DD was treated that way for that long and nothing got done! I don't know a whole lot about the story, just skimmed the article, what exactly did the girls' parents do??? Did they call the school once or 100 times? Did they involved the police? Did they physically go to the school? Why did they let their DD continue to go to that school? Did they try to get her transferred? Did they try to HS her? I'm really confused by a lot of this

My DDs are in ES and they have a zero tolerance policy. My DD was being kicked on the bus daily for 3 days, the 1st 2 times I told her to avoid the kid, the 3rd time I called the principal, was nice but firm, he took care of it right away. It hasn't happened since. He told me the 1st time he spoke to the boy was a warning, if it happened 1 more time he would be suspended and have a parent conference and if it happened ahgain after that he would involve the police and the kid would have to go up in front of the school board and possibly be expelled and have to go to alternate school. If he hadn't gotten it taken care of, I def would have pursued this- I don't care if I have to go to the police myself and pressed charges against the kid and parents- my kids will NOT be bullied in PUBLIC school! This kid is in 5th grade! I can't imagine high schoolers not being punished that effectively!

 

[themilesfamily]

The worst thing a school can do is suspend or expel a student and when the kid KNOWS that helicopter mom will go running to the school and say "OH not my baby" it doesn't mean much. The kid gets a free vacation and a hug.

THANK YOU! This is exactly how I feel. It's become so predictable. When the press gets a hold of these parents the only thing these parents have to say is, "My child is an angel" and "it wasn't their fault."

We have a case in our town where three teens went into a backyard where a little boy was playing and they broke his nose. The police were called and when an officer responded and tracked down these kids, the three boys beat the officer within an inch of his life. He was in the hospital for a very long time. He will never be the same. He has a wife and two young children to support and there is question as to whether he'll be able to work again.

So, when the press contacted the mothers of these boys they got the same old story. "My son is wonderful. He's a lovely church-going boy." Followed by, "The police instigated this. It was the policeman's fault." Even though exactly ZERO witness statements back that up, including the statements by the boys themselves. And one of these boys already has a rap sheet a mile long.

We have two types of families in our neighborhood. The families who, when there has been an issue between kids and we have to talk to the parents they say, "Thanks for letting us know. We'll deal with it." And they do.

And then there's the other type. We have two nightmare teens in our neighborhood who vandalize constantly, break bottles in the street, etc.. When we talk to the mom she 100% denies her kids have done anything wrong. Her kids are perfect, we're delusional. Her kids throw wild parties the second she walks out the door -- and I have a really hard time believing she doesn't see some evidence of this. And I've seen the police at her door numerous times. But she'd prefer to maintain that her kids are angels. Is she doing her kids any favors by not holding them accountable, absolutely not.

Take a guess as to whose kids are doing well in school. Whose kids are overall nice kids who know right from wrong.

I DO think schools should become mandatory reporters in cases of bullying -- harassment, stalking, cyberbullying, etc. I think that just as they are mandatory reporters of abuse in the home, they should be mandatory reporters of criminal behavior in the area of bullying. I don't think schools are equipped to handle criminal issues. I believe the police are and that's where these issues should go.

But do I blame the schools for creating these kinds of kids -- no way.