Tee'd off at sons' school!

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Another one not buying the "Boys will be boys" statement. I also find it sad and rather scary that the mother is blaming everyone OTHER than her own children - the ones that seem to be making all the problems. I guess its just the difference in personalities, but if my childs teacher were to tell me something bad about my child, I would take it up with my child, not sit and point fingers to all the "bad kids" and annoying principal/teacher. Maybe OP, you need to take yourself out of it, and think of the instances from another POV - like if its someone elses child, and your child is in danger of getting hurt due to their rough-housing and not listening- how would you feel then??

 

[Mouse House Mama]

So you don't believe there are any innate differences between the genders that affect behavior? Science has proven them to be quite different.

Of course there is! That doesn't mean though that boys will just run wild and can't be taught anything and you will only get calls from school about the boys. That is what I find idiotic. As a parent of boys and girls, I know they are different but that does not mean that they get a free pass to act like heathens. They are not being raised by wolves. They are being raised by us and we expect them to follow the rules wherever they are.

 

[pweyl36]

I don't know, I have to agree with Dawn to an extent. There is a HUGE difference in the way boys play compared with girls. And that's fine with me! I would much rather my son (when he was this age) be wrestling, rolling around on the ground, playing cowboys or army men, or whatever it was than sitting with the girls talking about their latest barbie accessories.
HOWEVER, boys have to know the limits of what is and is not acceptable playground behavior. I would ask the school to define "rough play" and be very specific about what is not allowed and then proceed to teach your boys how to stay inside those limits. At least while at school. Once they are home in the backyard, then they can let off some steam!

Hey,my ds6 loves to play with bratz doll, and still knows that he has to behave in school and in public.

 

[Mom2Nick]

My 2 ds' just entered 1st grade. last yr in kdg their teachers repeatedly told me they were sweet, kind, considerate, followed all rules, helped in class. and I know that they are all of that- they are just very active and play rough at times.

each of my sons has visited the vice principal's office once for "rough play" at recess. and each time I get a solemn phone call about how I need to speak with my sons about this behavior. OK, reality check- they are six yr old BOYS! that's what little boys do, they play rough and active. they love sports and are always trying to emulate football players, etc.

I hardly feel this marks them as trouble makers. it seems to me that maybe they need better supervision and direction at recess. little boys left to their own devices get into trouble. they need supervision and direction- that's why it's illegal to leave a six yr old home alone- they cannot yet always make good decisions on their own!

I do speak to my kids, but they seem drawn to the bad kids- they hold more appeal than the quiet little ones.

ugh! by the way, I am a teacher myself, so I know first hand that almost all boys this age can get into mischief at recess.

thanks for listening! please, no flames.

I am sorry you are going through this but the old "Boys will be boys" saying as an excuse for unacceptable behavior is a pet peeve of mine.

It is not ok and the school is asking for your help to get them to play in an acceptable manner at recess. I suggest you talk with them immediately and get them to understand that rough play is flat out not ok at school.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

This isn't meant as a flame, but you are in for a very long road if you are already excusing their behavior when they are 6 and trying to pile the blame on others.

Perhaps you might want to actually look at why they were sent to the principal's office and correct your child's behavior rather than trying to blame it on the teachers that they don't discipline your children enough on the playground or the "bad boys". I agree with the other poster that perhaps the other children are the ones attracted to yours - that they might be the bad boys.

My boys were always the rough and tumble kind. They played football with a vengence from the time they were 7 all through high school.

And although never perfect, they did have the sense and discipline to know when it is appropriate rough and tumble time and when different behavior was expected, even in first grade. I have never had a call from the principal's office and my boys have always been boys.

 

[PrincessPAC]

This isn't meant as a flame, but you are in for a very long road if you are already excusing their behavior when they are 6 and trying to pile the blame on others.

I agree with this. What surprises me most, though, is that the OP is a teacher.

Believe me, my DS (who never gets into trouble - well...at school) got in trouble a couple of weeks ago for being rowdy in the lunchroom -- as in "talking too loudly with his tablemates." Even though I thought it was kind of silly (I mean, what kid doesn't like to laugh it up at lunch with his friends?), and his teacher and the principal both told me not to worry - that the teacher on duty gives detention for ANYTHING she can think of, I still respected the teacher's decision to punish my son.

I also thought the 2 days of having to eat lunch by himself was kind of excessive, but I never let my son hear what I thought. There are rules he has to follow (one of them being to keep his voice at a minimal tone in the cafeteria), and if he doesn't follow them, then he needs to suffer the consequences.

He needs to understand this, and I do too.

OP, as a teacher, wouldn't you rather deal with a student who has been taught (at home) to follow the rules and to respect authority? By making excuses - you are setting yourself up to become one of "those" moms and your boys becoming one of "those" kids. Surely, you don't want that?

I'm sure this was just a vent for you (and it's better that you vent here than at the school!), but I just think that you need to be careful with how much you defend your boys. I admit that I've used the expression "boys will be boys" - but that doesn't mean that I'm saying what they did wasn't wrong.

Good luck!

 

[daisax]

"Boys will be boys" just means that it's perfectly predictable behavior... not necessarily EXCUSABLE behavior.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

"Boys will be boys" just means that it's perfectly predictable behavior... not necessarily EXCUSABLE behavior.

That is what it should mean. Far too many use it as an excuse for poor behavior. IMO.

 

[Kathi OD]

Just like most other things in the world, there is a time and a place. School is not the place to be playing in a rough manner, where other children might be inadvertently hurt by their roughhousing. Unless these boys have some type of behavior disorder or cognitive delay, here's no reason in the world that they cannot learn when it is acceptable to play "like boys" and when it isn't.

I know this from experience. I raised two boys who, when left to their own devices, played like boys. They were as rough as they come, as were their friends. It was my responsibility to set limits for them so they would know when such play was unacceptable.

 

[KadysMom]

I've raised 4 boys and I never bought into that boys will be boys excuse. They just need to learn acceptable behavior while at school.

When people say boys will be boys, i think they are making an excuse for bad behavior.