Tee'd off at sons' school!

[tchrchgo]

My 2 ds' just entered 1st grade. last yr in kdg their teachers repeatedly told me they were sweet, kind, considerate, followed all rules, helped in class. and I know that they are all of that- they are just very active and play rough at times.

each of my sons has visited the vice principal's office once for "rough play" at recess. and each time I get a solemn phone call about how I need to speak with my sons about this behavior. OK, reality check- they are six yr old BOYS! that's what little boys do, they play rough and active. they love sports and are always trying to emulate football players, etc.

I hardly feel this marks them as trouble makers. it seems to me that maybe they need better supervision and direction at recess. little boys left to their own devices get into trouble. they need supervision and direction- that's why it's illegal to leave a six yr old home alone- they cannot yet always make good decisions on their own!

I do speak to my kids, but they seem drawn to the bad kids- they hold more appeal than the quiet little ones.

ugh! by the way, I am a teacher myself, so I know first hand that almost all boys this age can get into mischief at recess.

thanks for listening! please, no flames.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, as someone with 2 VERY active boys, who tended/tend to get into trouble, I feel for their teachers! Trips to the principal's office, red cards, are just tools to "remind" them how to behave. They are also drawn to the rougher boys. Luckily, ds10 has matured a lot, and we don't have these issues anymore. Ds5 isn't quite there yet - I did warn his teacher, and gave her some heads up on not letting him get to the point where he's going to get out of control.

Some boys need time to learn self control - in the interum, they need to be disciplined. I'm sure the school doesn't have it in for your boys.

 

[KerriSue]

Just let your boys know that they cant do contact sports at recess.

Good Luck

 

[daisyduck123]

OK, reality check- they are six yr old BOYS! that's what little boys do, they play rough and active.

No, but not at school they don't. I teach 1st grade & along with some aides, I supervise over 90 1st graders at recess. Most of them totally "get" that rough play is not allowed at school. There are only one or two boys that I have to speak with every time I have recess duty. You've just got to get it thru your sons' heads that this play is not allowed. Drill it to them & they'll catch on.

 

[okeydokey]

I don't understand what you expect them to do when your sons act up at recess?

 

[phorsenuf]

I've raised 4 boys and I never bought into that boys will be boys excuse. They just need to learn acceptable behavior while at school.

 

[Mkrop]

I've raised 4 boys and I never bought into that boys will be boys excuse. They just need to learn acceptable behavior while at school.

 

[Minnie_me]

I tell my students that rough play is fun! And that my family enjoys playing rough, too. But that it is an activity that is not safe or appropriate at school. Then we talk about some examples of rough play (because sometimes they don't even know what I mean) - - pushing, grabbing, wrestling, even tickling!

Your sons just need the law put down for them. Boys will be boys, of course, and even girls enjoy rough play --- but there are different rules at school, and children need to learn to make that distinction.

 

[Bob NC]

Why are you tee'd off at the school?

I don't think the teachers and principal really have time to pick on your kids just for the fun of it.

I believe you have a right to be tee'd off, but it should be directed at the kids.

 

[C.Ann]

The fact that they are "boys" doesn't absolve them from acting appropriately during recess.. They may think they are only "playing rough", but what happens when their rough play injures another child? If you had a daughter in the first grade and she was injured by a little boy that was "only being a boy", wouldn't that upset you?

You have to make it perfectly clear to them that their behavior is unacceptable.. Perhaps on the days that they are sent to the principals office for not playing properly during recess, you should follow up with not allowing them to play at home after school on those days..

It's really not fair to the other kids on the playground.. And I don't understand why you are angry with the school about this..

 

[pweyl36]

I just hate that phrase " boys will be boys", are they aloud to be wild in church, in stores or restrants? You must get control now,because the older that they get the harder it is to get control.

 

[scottishduffy]

Boys will be Boys is not a reason for their behavior. Have a talk with them that the rough play may be OK at home but that other kids at school don't like it. maybe they are trying to wrestle or tackle other kids and just don't understand why others do not like it as much as they do.

As far as being drawn to bad kids, that is also taking away their accountability in the situation. When I was a counselor I had a boy whose mom said he was only an issue cause he was drawn to bad boys. We switched him to 3 different groups and each time he was drawn to the bad boys in the group and caused trouble. Strangely, my bad boys were 10 times better after T was gone. We figured out that this boy, T, wasjust the brains behind the operation. These bad boys were not so big an influence as mom thought, her son shared similar play interests and while the 'bad boys' carried out bad ideas guess who was suggesting them? This may not be the case with your boys, but keep in mind they hold equal accountability with the 'bad boys' as they choose to follow along.

Chat with them about the differene between home play and school play and then follow up with school to make sure they are behaving better. It is hard for little boys to calm down but i'm sure with a little help they can!

 

[imabrat]

Boys will be boys is not an acceptable excuse. Bottom line, they need to be told rough play is not for school. If they choose to still play rough at school, they WILL be labeled as a trouble maker.

 

[C.Ann]

If they choose to still play rough at school, they WILL be labeled as a trouble maker.

--------------------

And that would be a very, very bad thing - beginning as early as 1st grade.. It will follow them all the way through the upcoming grades..

 

[just4today]

This is just one instance of many to come where your sons will have to modify their behavior at school. The earlier they learn that, the better off everyone will be. They need to understand that rough play does not belong at school.

 

[4greatboys]

I don't buy into the "boys will be boys" stuff. It's been my experience that most of the people who say that have boys who do not or cannot control themselves.

I have 4 boys. Two are grown, 21 and 18 and 2 are little, 8 and 6. None of them were ever sent to the prinicpals office for any reason. I'm not saying they are perfect but they did and do know how to control themselves and they know what behavior is appriopriate and what is not. They did get a conduct mark now and then at school if they were out of line but that was the extent of it.

 

[MossMan]

I've raised 4 boys and I never bought into that boys will be boys excuse. They just need to learn acceptable behavior while at school.

I've completely bought into the boys will be boys excuse.

We often talk about activity that is accepted now in schools, that wouldn't have been accepted just a generation or two ago. (the tendency for girls to socially ostracize other girls - the tendency of boys to exercise physical dominance over each other)

But schools are also moving in the opposite direction simultaneously. There is activity that was once mostly overlooked that is now being shut down whether it needs to be shut down or not. This is, I believe, one of the reasons for the drastic increase in ritalin use among children. The acting out that was once almost expected from boys is no longer classified as normal and instead seen as the first step to anti-social tendencies.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I've raised 4 boys and I never bought into that boys will be boys excuse. They just need to learn acceptable behavior while at school.

I so agree with this.

 

[TomLovesBecky]

My 2 ds' just entered 1st grade. last yr in kdg their teachers repeatedly told me they were sweet, kind, considerate, followed all rules, helped in class. and I know that they are all of that- they are just very active and play rough at times.

each of my sons has visited the vice principal's office once for "rough play" at recess. and each time I get a solemn phone call about how I need to speak with my sons about this behavior. OK, reality check- they are six yr old BOYS! that's what little boys do, they play rough and active. they love sports and are always trying to emulate football players, etc.

I hardly feel this marks them as trouble makers. it seems to me that maybe they need better supervision and direction at recess. little boys left to their own devices get into trouble. they need supervision and direction- that's why it's illegal to leave a six yr old home alone- they cannot yet always make good decisions on their own!

I do speak to my kids, but they seem drawn to the bad kids- they hold more appeal than the quiet little ones.

ugh! by the way, I am a teacher myself, so I know first hand that almost all boys this age can get into mischief at recess.

thanks for listening! please, no flames.

Boy do I understand this post...I have "one of those" as well and it came as quite a shock to me!

 

[famofsix]

We have a "no touching rule" for play that could esculate to rough play in an inappropriate setting.

This means recess would have flag football, tagging a flag on a runner, running races with a baton etc. You can play most of the same playground games by adding a variation to the rules.

This goes for boys and girls