OK. I need some advice on how to respond to this. I got an email today from my aunt. She's my mom's SisIL, married to mom's brother. Jerry, my mom's brother, is 58. They are the ones that moved to MO without selling their house that is a block away from my grandparents with all the issues. Neither of them have jobs, and they moved into my 30-year-old cousin's house.
Now, I know that my mom's view is NOT unskewed. But she is retired, where Aunt Linda & Uncle Jerry were not, so the bulk of the care of my grandparents has always fallen on my mom, even when they lived a block away. I know they helped, which is why my parents are so angry and confused by them moving away with this all going on - whilst not having jobs or a house or any money.
Here is my aunt's message, my edits are in black:
You know CE, we didn't know until yesterday that your mom wasn't supposed to drive. Just yesterday Nan mentioned it. We have been concerned also about your mom, but she just has a hard time hearing us as we have tried and tried to get her to see that this is a long haul with Shelton (my grandpa) and keeping a 24 watch isn't mentally or physically possible. Living so close to them, Jerry had been running over there 4 or 5 times a day for the last year and half, getting them dinners, doing the appliance thing, and tons of other things and truly it was becoming too much. They seemed to prefer just Jerry or Linda (just FYI, my mom is ALSO Linda, so she's talking about my mom here), so I worked, cooked for them sometimes and helped where I could. Jerry and I felt we needed more help over a year or more ago.
I have been trying to earn enough to keep us afloat so he could help with them these past several years, while he worked part-time. I am looking for full-time here, I need to work more, the school job just isn't enough. Jer's Dr's are here and I have been concerned about him also. The load has been heavy for a long time, that's for sure.
We are a lot closer to jobs here, and hoping to find work soon. Looking for jobs at our age is a lot of work! We are hoping the your mom will let Tally (Tally is the girl that has been the home helper for my grandparents for about a month) do more, because it seems hard for your mom to let go and accept help. We offered a year ago to sell our house and move in with Nan and Pa to care for them, but I don't think your mom thought that was a good idea, so we backed off. We are trying to hold our own also, and hopefully things will quiet down with Shelton for a spell. If he goes to a nursing home, close to home would help cutting down on all that running and gas. If he goes home(?) I would guess it would take 2 people to over see things. Jer and I have to work and it was becoming impossible for Jer to even focus on that or get rest. His parents called quite often during the middle of the night, during most dinners and he was on-call. It helps to have Shelton being cared for by others, but it hard to let go of his care to others, most likely that's what your mom is struggling with. Please let us know along the way how you think things are going as we do want to keep helping, but are at a loss as to what some of the solutions are. We love your mom, and hope and pray that some rest will be coming. We are trying to build ourselves up also to make it for the long haul. Thanks for writing, we love you and will keep praying. If you think we need to do something, please let us know. Love, Linda and Jer
So, just a few things. My grandmother really, really doesn't like my aunt, so when she talks about Mom thinking it wasn't a good idea for them to move into my grandparents' house, it wasn't Mom's problem, it was Grandma's, but my aunt obviously doesn't know that.
Also, this really all comes down to money. No, it's not physically or mentally possible for my mother to care for them 24/7, but they don't have the money to go to the nursing home or anywhere else. Linda & Jerry obviously can't help with anything, being unemployed and living with their son. When they did live in the house near my grandparents, their water and such was being turned off due to non-payment.
My uncle is trained as a medical machine repairman, but hasn't worked at that since a mental breakdown kind of thing about 10 years ago. He tried a bunch of different jobs and kept quitting because "he needs to be outside, can't be outside, the gas is too expensive to drive to work" etc., etc. So him running to my grandparents 4-5 times a day was doubtless annoying, but he wasn't doing anything else...
She had been working as a teacher's aide at a local school, though she does have a teaching degree and used to own her own preschool/daycare, back when I was young.
Anyway, I just don't know what, if anything to say... Should I tell her that mom WOULD let go of care, if there was anyone to let go to? Or any money to do that? Should I tell her it wasn't mom who didn't want them in the house with grandma? Should I say, (and no, I know I shouldn't) "Since you don't have jobs, come back and take care of them, then, especially since you can't contribute to the helper's salary?" Or should I just say, "Yeah, we're all concerned," and nothing else?
Family. Ugh.
And it sounds quite good news about your Grandpa 
and finally awake... we got in at about 1:30 this morning... 
Thanks to a tip on the Resorts Codes & Rates board, I checked Hotels.com for Oct. rates at WDW resorts... and found ASSp for $59/night! 
I have no desire to go in at 8:00! 
It's just sad all around.
Only once with fast pass. Then we rode ToT 3 times. No fast pass needed! 
Me too, but my bank account disagrees. 
