Teachers have any of you had bad PARENTS?

[Lionqueen2]

The big difference between school and a retail setting is we have NO ability to "kick them out of the store". As teachers, unless a parent becomes violent or makes threats, we have to take whatever it is they choose to dish out with a smile on our face and a professional response. It doesn't matter how irrational or nasty they get. In some schools it also means that you end up having to cave to thier demands if they cannot be pacified. Fortunately, in my school policy is policy, and they are told to take it up with the school baord if they do not like the resolution on a school level. Not all schools are like that. In some places, especially with new, untenured administration, these parents can get what they want if they make enough of a fuss. That is why it continues to happen.

And one of the reasons why the quality of education continues to decline.

 

[DVCJones]

Oh please, that is exactly what you are doing. I feel sorry for the children you teach if you hold this much animosity towards the parents.

I feel the mods should just close this thread immediately, no good can come of it.

I think there is a clear difference!!!!

A lot (not all) parents are so quick to blame their child's teacher for their child's bad behavior, poor grades, etc. Sadly, I see this every year.

As a teacher and a parent of a child on an IEP, I know it is possible to support your child's learning AND support the teacher who is trying to do their job. Some parents believe it is one or the other.

Also, the general behavior of kids these days is awful. I have watched the entitled attitudes among kids these days EXPLODE of the charts in recent years.

 

[DVCJones]

The big difference between school and a retail setting is we have NO ability to "kick them out of the store". As teachers, unless a parent becomes violent or makes threats, we have to take whatever it is they choose to dish out with a smile on our face and a professional response. It doesn't matter how irrational or nasty they get. In some schools it also means that you end up having to cave to thier demands if they cannot be pacified. Fortunately, in my school policy is policy, and they are told to take it up with the school baord if they do not like the resolution on a school level. Not all schools are like that. In some places, especially with new, untenured administration, these parents can get what they want if they make enough of a fuss. That is why it continues to happen.

In my school, we actually keep files on parents who behave badly too. We document all explosive, threatening and crazy behavior. We actually have several parents with their own file.....

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

Oh please, that is exactly what you are doing. I feel sorry for the children you teach if you hold this much animosity towards the parents.

I feel the mods should just close this thread immediately, no good can come of it.

Well if the mods close this thread then they should close the myriad of teacher bashing threads. After all it would only be fair. Each year I have many parents request that their child be put in my room. I am not being defensive.....just stating know the facts. Apparently when the shoe is on the other foot it hurts.

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

I have about 1 per year that keeps me on my toes and says lots of fun things to me and my sped team like "I pay my taxes". I wish parents knew saying that just makes us not want to bend over backwards, really. The opposite happens. My heart actually starts racing when I see a certain parent has emailed me. It sucks. I know, I know, don't take it personally...but it's personal when it's a daily questioning of what I'm doing.

I wish that parent would realize I'm not in this for the $. I really want to help her child and see him succeed.

I also realize my yearly parent trouble is probably a result of their stage of grief about their child's disability. I just keep happening to get them during the blame and anger...I feel bad sometimes, but sometimes I wish they'd find someone that's not trying to help their child to take it out on.

Aren't you glad you asked

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

Well if the mods close this thread then they should close the myriad of teacher bashing threads. After all it would only be fair. Each year I have many parents request that their child be put in my room. I am not being defensive.....just stating know the facts. Apparently when the shoe is on the other foot it hurts.

You've got a point Bella...there are quite a few teacher specific threads started up on a regular basis. Thanks for giving teachers the chance to show the other side too. I think people are mostly good, but teaching/parenting are such emotional topics. Hard to not get folks riled up on either side...

This is why I already opened the reese's pb cups that are supposed to be in the halloween bowl tomorrow! stress!

 

[hambirg]

Of course I have dealt with bad parents. Is that even a question???

Teaching is HARD! None of us are in it for the money. I don't know why there are some parents that don't understand that we are really there to help their kids.

Now as a parent, I have also ran into a few bad teachers. I think, being a teacher myself, they are easy to spot. It's actually when my kids were in private school. .mostly teachers that are past their retirement age and just don't want to deal with issues in their classrooms. Every friggin time I have called them on it. I got called into a conference with the principal and teacher to talk about what was happening with my oldest (btw. .smartest kid in her class) and what did I do? Hahaha. . .they were ready for me. . .notepads out. I was not confrontational AT ALL! I told them. . .we are in this together to help my daughter. Their jaws were on the floor. Then I went on to explain how most of the "problems" were facilitated by this teachers hands off attitude. I told what I knew. . .and the fact, that being a teacher, I was well aware of what the teacher's responsibilities are. The principal kept looking at the teacher like. .is this true?

Speaking of bad parents though. I had a boy in my class, an inclusion student, moderately CP. . .his records show that he was the way he was because Mom shook him as a toddler. He was taken out of the home but was eventually placed back with the parents. I hated that *****! Dad was very soft spoken and they were having marital problems while the boy was my student. Well, poor little "Johnny" needed glasses. And they picked the flimsy wire rims for him. One day he went to pull out OT with his glasses on. He was dismissed from OT to recess and came back to the class afterward with broken glasses. He spun some story for Mom, because he was terrified of her, that some other student punched him in the face while they were in the lunch line. I knew for a fact that that wasn't true! She made the biggest stink! I'm really glad that I had the admins backing on that. She was going to sue the district. . .blah blah blah! Thankfully, the Dad when told the story, understood the dynamics. He filed for divorce and got custody of the son. But, just let me say, that lil "Johnny" came in the following week with his hand in a cast because Mom "accidentally" slammed his hand in the car door. She's really lucky I didn't show up on her front porch for fear of losing my job. Now that I'm not teaching, if I ever run into that shrew, all bets are off.

Soooo. . .again. Most teachers are not there for the money. They love your kids! I spent many a sleepless nights worrying about my students. They were my kids. . .all of them! Teaching is HARD!!!!!!

 

[luvmythree]

Nope, shoe doesn't hurt, I don't complain about teachers and our teachers are great. I think you need counseling at the least. You have so much animosity towards parents. You don't even have a specific event, just gross generalizations. I'll pray for you sweetie.

Wow uncalled for and condescending!

 

[spacemountainmom]

Hambirg-

That is so horrible. I admire your restraint, because I would not have any.

If you ever run into that woman (I won't refer to her as a mother), I'll gladly help you out.

 

[kirstenb1]

Nope, shoe doesn't hurt, I don't complain about teachers and our teachers are great. I think you need counseling at the least. You have so much animosity towards parents. You don't even have a specific event, just gross generalizations. I'll pray for you sweetie.

I don't even know what to say to this. However, to the OP, I'm guessing you're just tired of the teacher bashing threads.

Also, are you a SLP? Or do I have you mixed up with another teacher? Anyway, if you are an SLP, thanks from the parent of a child benefitting from Speech Therapy. I love our SLP. She's been with dd since dd was 3. I can always email or talk with her about ever changing goals and challenges.

If not, then thanks for everything you do regardless. I give teachers every benefit of the doubt and courtesy, exactly as I hope they do with me as parent.

 

[C.Ann]

In my school, we actually keep files on parents who behave badly too. We document all explosive, threatening and crazy behavior. We actually have several parents with their own file.....

I can believe it.. Of course teachers have bad parents.. It would be ridiculous to think there are only bad "teachers".. It's a two-way street..

 

[torinsmom]

Teachers don't need counseling, because they can always find another teacher to vent to, LOL. All teachers have had those kind of parents, so we can commiserate with each other. And even though we have to deal with a few over the top parents, the joy of teaching great kids and dealing with the other 85% of families makes it totally bearable.

There are a lot of teacher bashing threads on here, whether anyone wants to admit it or not. But anytime a teacher posts a problem involving a parent, they are attacked and told they shouldn't be a teacher. It just gets kind of old for those of us who work really hard to teach kids all day and then have to deal with some silly, petty stuff with some parents. If parents can post about a problem they have with a teacher and get support, it seems like the opposite would be true as well.

 

[mhsjax]

I am not a teacher, I would NEVER be a teacher for only one reason, THE PARENTS. People are crazy.

FWIW< I have friends that are teachers, they claim some of the worst parents are fellow teachers, go figure.

 

[princessmom29]

I am not a teacher, I would NEVER be a teacher for only one reason, THE PARENTS. People are crazy.

FWIW< I have friends that are teachers, they claim some of the worst parents are fellow teachers, go figure.

The absolute worst "bad" parent i had was also a really, really bad teacher. She knew how to work the system form the inside out and attempted to do so to see that her child got a passing grade in my class without actually doing anything to earn it. When her child cussed me out in front of the entire class, rather than holing her child accountable, she spent half an hour trying to trip me up and make me say something that would get her child out of being suspended for it. Things like "how can you be sure it was her?" Uh, She was screaming in my face. She told me her 14 year old child didn't use that kind of language or even know what those words meant. Yea, sure...She didn't win, but ONLY becuase the other children had heard what the girl said and were willing to say so to the administration. She was CONSTANTLY trying to invalidate one failing grade or another for some trumped up reason. It got to the point that the only communication I would have with her was with an administrator in the room. She would often call me about something while she was in the classroom, and stop periodically to yell at 1st graders to shut up, she was on the phone. A real winner, as a mom and a teacher.
Let me say that the vast majority of my parents who are also teachers are NOT like this. They usually hold thier kids to a higher standard than most parents and tend to hold the child accoutable rather than blaming the teacher. I think that when a teacher is a bad teacher, they assume that all teachers are like them, and are treating thier child the way they would treat a student in thier classroom.

 

[Jennasis]

Nope, shoe doesn't hurt, I don't complain about teachers and our teachers are great. I think you need counseling at the least. You have so much animosity towards parents. You don't even have a specific event, just gross generalizations. I'll pray for you sweetie.

For someone who asked for the thread to be closed because "no good can come of it", YOU seem to be the one causing the problem and heaping on the insulting 'tude.

 

[Wadecool]

Nope, shoe doesn't hurt, I don't complain about teachers and our teachers are great. I think you need counseling at the least. You have so much animosity towards parents. You don't even have a specific event, just gross generalizations. I'll pray for you sweetie.

Someone definitely needs prayer alright, but it most likely involves you and a mirror...

 

[Wadecool]

I feel the mods should just close this thread immediately, no good can come of it.

Would you please direct us to your posts where you plead with the mods to close the teacher bashing threads...

 

[Becky2005]

You can disagree- but I'm talking about not just parents who dont' care enough to say when something is wrong, I mean parents who don't go to Open House or Parent Teacher Conference or PTO meetings or a Concert or an Art show or a Gym Program etc. Parent's who seriously have ZERO interest in their kids education and school life.

I guess it all depends on the situation on that. My parents literally never came to anything for me. I straight up told the teachers that would be the case. I'm the youngest and my parents were basically BTDT for the open house type of things. Now if there was a problem & the teachers let them know, they would have been involved, otherwise...not so much.

Of course, I can only imagine what the teachers think of me...I think it's pretty funny since I have 4 kids, all with very different personalities. I quit going to DD's conferences in Middle School (mostly because they tell you that you don't NEED to as they don't have enough space to meet with everyone -- so no problem, no need to meet)...by 5th grade I could literally tell you what her teachers were going to say "Great girl, would love to have 25 just like her, she needs to work on her spelling".

Funny...I have NEVER had a teacher say they want 25 of my son! I think that poor child pushed the 3rd grade teacher over the edge (I magically got a shared aide in 4th grade & didn't even ASK for it. I hear you have to move mountains to get an aide in the classroom but I was offered one -- true not 1:1 but enough...all I could think was thank goodness my DD went through the school first but she never had this teacher!) & the funniest thing is now my youngest has that same teacher but in 2nd grade. I was wondering if he saw the last name and wanted to run for the hills. He actually seemed happy we were there though because it was a name he recognized (it's mostly the oldest of the families in my youngests class, so new families to the school, etc... I've just been around there forever so it seems).

 

[Mokat76]

I'm neither a teacher nor a parent, but I have a great "bad parent" story. When I moved to town I inherited a phone number. All last school year I got countless calls from "Johnny's" school concerned about his absences, behavioral issues, etc. Apparently his mom and/or dad couldn't even be bothered to give the school the right phone number. All I could think was what would happen if the boy got hurt or sick and no one could reach a parent. I'm sure his teacher was going nuts wondering why the parents never called back.

 

[palavra]

Don't the online grade programs make it easier for parents to keep track of their kids grades and understand why and when there are problems? Or do the online systems just give more opportunities for needed explanations, e.g., instead of every quarter seeing a grade, the parents see them every day?

Bingo! Since grades are online all the time now, we not only hear about the grades, but we get comments from parents about the types of assignments, frequency of assignments, etc. I had a parent email me to tell me that I had mistakenly put the same grade online twice. Since she could only see her child's grade, and the assignments had similar titles-one was a quiz and the other a homework grade-and her child had the same grade for both, she assumed I had made a mistake. Of course, I could see the whole grade book and knew the assignments were in different catagories. Now, this doesn't make her a bad parent, but it does make me wonder what she was thinking. Does she think that I just never look at the grade book online and have no idea what I'm doing?