Teachers are giving me a hard time pulling kids out of school

[CPT Tripss]

I was in a similar situation when I was in school. I had a terrible substitute for one semester, though my teacher wasn't pregnant - she had MS. I think the problem lies with the substitute, not the teacher. I think it's unrealistic to think that a teacher should not have children because they might be born at a time that would interfere with her job. Again, I think that there is a really big difference between situations like illness or pregnancy and a vacation.




Most people on this thread aren't saying you should never take kids out of school for vacations. They are just saying that if you choose to do so you also need to accept the consequences of that choice. Many of us are also saying it's unfair and unreasonable to expect a teacher to do even more work because of your personal choice to take a vacation during school.

I've taken my son out of school for trips before. If it would hurt his grades significantly to do so - as it likely will for the rest of his school career - then I wouldn't do it any longer. If my husband and I couldn't get away when my son was out of school and he couldn't get away during the school year, then yes - we would do without vacations for a few years. In fact, we had to cancel a trip we had planned for July because my husband couldn't get away from work. Now my son is in school and so we can't get away because of that. We'll go on a family vacation next time we are able to, whenever that might be. But we won't be taking my son out of school in order to do it.

Not sure what grade is involved, but if it makes you feel any better, through middle school and high school DD missed between 8 and 12 days a year for non-school sponsored athletic competitions. We never tried to claim it was educational, nor did anyone ask us to.

She did school work during the travel to and from the events on the plane, bus or in the airport. A couple of middle school teachers were not cooperative in giving her notice of what they planned to cover, and the principal administered any missed tests quizzes on the first day back. That meant she usually missed another class or two.

By HS, no problems at all - might have been because it was a private school and while the Fathers were generally strict, they understood those kids that had outside activities. No issues with grades, honor roll and honor society all along. As it turned out she went to a university that didn't have he sport and she stopped competing . . . now she is beginning to get back into it again through "masters" events.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

"The same"? No. But here's the sum total of my family's vacations when we were growing up:
One weekend (only) trip to a timeshare presentation in New Hampshire
One August 1964 visit to the World's Fair
Two summertime trips to visit grandparents in New Jersey
One summer week in New York City, across the street from the Empire State Building.

That's it. I missed school only when I was sick. My brother never missed a day of school (and who knows with the younger kids ). But we have family memories - of going to the movies with Dad on Sunday so Mom could rest; day/weekend trip to New Hampshire to stay with friends who had a summer home there; local zoos; local amusement parks; cookouts/parties/softball in the back yard...

"The same" memories? Technically, no - because they're not the same activities. But they were done with the SAME PEOPLE - and THOSE are the memories that count. Not what you did, but with whom you did it.

I see your point and totally agree. My mom was a nurse, worked holidays, and as a single mom, could not afford to take us on vacations. We took our first when I was 11, for a weekend trip to the Smithsonian, and then at 13 we went to Florida for a full 4 days. 1 day in St. Augustine, 2 days at the MK, 1 at Gatorland, and we went to the Movieland Wax Museum. We weren't deprived, and frankly, I can't imagine anyone having a better kidhood.

I get that people want to take family vacations, and I get that disney is favorite. I don't get that someone would post about the wicked teacher who didn't want to put in extra work, because that family wants to take a vacation. I still think that many people who travel during school time could travel at other times, not disrupt their child's education, and still have happy memories.

The poster who called that new mom is evil.

 

[JPN4265]

We leave next friday and this makes our fourth trip to WDW. This is the first year the teachers at school are giving us a hard time. They implimented a new attendance policy. I thought we were going early enough in the year that it wouldn't be such a big deal- both my DH and I have jobs that it is difficult to travel any other time then the fall-

I emailed the teachers and stated that we are taking a laptop and that I would email them daily to receive assignments since most of them can not give me a prepared lesson prior to our trip. No disrespect to teachers out there but I don't understand why they can not email me daily to let me know what pages in the text book they went over and what homework they assigned. I can not even get excited about our trip because this has become such an ordeal... Anyone else experience this with their trips?

The first thing you have to do is to be honest with us. You are going in the fall, not because you can't go any other time, but because it is less crowded, less expensive, and cooler. That being said, do what you want, just don't expect other people to cater to your wishes just because you want it all. We would all like to go in the fall for the reasons I just explained. You make the call, just don't expect the teacher to take time out of her busy schedule to accommodate you and your family. If she wants to work with you fine, if not, that is her choice, just like it is your choice to take your kids out of school.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I asked this before, more generally. If you had a job that precluded travel during school breaks, would you simply stop traveling for the years you had school aged children?

Yes. Vacations, while fun/enjoyable/enriching, are not a necessity. Education and earning a living are necessities.

 

[JPN4265]

Yes. Vacations, while fun/enjoyable/enriching, are not a necessity. Education and earning a living are necessities.

What she said....

 

[Colleen27]

The first thing you have to do is to be honest with us. You are going in the fall, not because you can't go any other time, but because it is less crowded, less expensive, and cooler. That being said, do what you want, just don't expect other people to cater to your wishes just because you want it all. We would all like to go in the fall for the reasons I just explained. You make the call, just don't expect the teacher to take time out of her busy schedule to accommodate you and your family. If she wants to work with you fine, if not, that is her choice, just like it is your choice to take your kids out of school.

How is it that you know the OP's circumstances regarding time off work? Late Sept isn't noticeably cooler, less crowded, or cheaper than early Sept, and the OP lives in a state where BY LAW public schools cannot start before Labor Day. She could have gotten the same low crowds, low prices, and high temperatures the first week of Sept without the hassles of missing school, so I don't think it is logical to assume she's being anything less than honest about her reasons for going when she is.

 

[Colleen27]

Most people on this thread aren't saying you should never take kids out of school for vacations. They are just saying that if you choose to do so you also need to accept the consequences of that choice. Many of us are also saying it's unfair and unreasonable to expect a teacher to do even more work because of your personal choice to take a vacation during school.

Many have said that kids should never miss school for vacation, and even more have supported/defended school policies and state laws that prohibit vacationing during the school year. Some have even defended teachers who take it upon themselves to assign punitive amounts of "make up" work and otherwise give traveling families a hard time even when they aren't going against any school or district policy.

I don't think it is unfair or unreasonable to expect a professional to do his/her job even when it is inconvenient. I'm not talking about daily e-mails, but a teacher should be able to set aside any personal opinions about the trip and be willing to work with parents on how best to handle make up work (within district policy, of course).

 

[rgf207]

We don't just contribute - we pay every dollar.

Your point?

 

[pandora174]

I don't know OP but my DS is in first grade & 5 days from school would be a lot for him to make up when he gets back. His school is a small Christian school with a fairly strict attendance policy. He is also ESE so I while I would love to go in Sept (we always used to go in Sept & early Dec) we wouldn't pull him out for so long b/c I wouldn't want him to fall behind.

Not that in your home you don't emphasize the importance of school but my DS himself would be asking why are we going on vacation when it's school time ? Just my opinion. But I definitely would not ask the teacher to go out her way with the assignments.

DS hasn't been "into" Disney since he was 3 but we've started taking vacations when shcool is out since he started Kinder. Something I wanted us as a family to get used to once school started. Next year we'll probably try Disney but during his summer vacation. One day but a whole week off during school, maybe it's my mom I'm channeling but she was really big on school & attendance. But if the school is ok with the absences & it doesn't affect their grades & they are your children after all & not mine then go for it but I would not expect the teacher to e-mail their assignments.

 

[Colleen27]

Yes. Vacations, while fun/enjoyable/enriching, are not a necessity. Education and earning a living are necessities.

I admire your consistency and commitment to your beliefs, but I'd hate to live that way... For us, that would mean 23 years, from the time my oldest started school until my youngest graduates, with no vacations longer than 2 or 3 nights and never going further than a few hundred miles from home. I agree that vacation isn't a necessity but I think it is one of life's most valuable extras, and I'm not going to limit my kids to our narrow corner of the world when we can afford to raise them with broader horizons.

 

[JPN4265]

How is it that you know the OP's circumstances regarding time off work? Late Sept isn't noticeably cooler, less crowded, or cheaper than early Sept, and the OP lives in a state where BY LAW public schools cannot start before Labor Day. She could have gotten the same low crowds, low prices, and high temperatures the first week of Sept without the hassles of missing school, so I don't think it is logical to assume she's being anything less than honest about her reasons for going when she is.

you are so sweet.... But it still doesn't change the reasons for taking her kids out of school during the school year.

 

[jodifla]

I admire your consistency and commitment to your beliefs, but I'd hate to live that way... For us, that would mean 23 years, from the time my oldest started school until my youngest graduates, with no vacations longer than 2 or 3 nights and never going further than a few hundred miles from home. I agree that vacation isn't a necessity but I think it is one of life's most valuable extras, and I'm not going to limit my kids to our narrow corner of the world when we can afford to raise them with broader horizons.

I think most studies actually show that people who vacation are healthier than those who never do. I know they are certainly happier.

It's abhorent that schools think they have the right to tell you what to do with your kids -- the truancy laws in some states are completely over the top. No wonder so many people homeschool (And enough people homeschool, those teachers will be out of a job!)

That said, I can't even FIND the absence policy for the school where my son goes, and it's in the same state as the OP. I asked his teacher last year, and she didn't know either.

And yet, even with this lax attendance policy, this school has one of the highest testing performance rates around.


I don't write notes that explain why were are going. I say, "DS will be out from X to X. Please let me know what assignments you would like done in our absence. Thank you."

 

[rgf207]

I think most studies actually show that people who vacation are healthier than those who never do. I know they are certainly happier.

It's abhorent that schools think they have the right to tell you what to do with your kids -- the truancy laws in some states are completely over the top. No wonder so many people homeschool (And enough people homeschool, those teachers will be out of a job!)

That said, I can't even FIND the absence policy for the school where my son goes, and it's in the same state as the OP. I asked his teacher last year, and she didn't know either.

And yet, even with this lax attendance policy, this school has one of the highest testing performance rates around.


I don't write notes that explain why were are going. I say, "DS will be out from X to X. Please let me know what assignments you would like done in our absence. Thank you."

Yeah!!! Let's get all the teachers out of their jobs. All the problems will be fixed then. Great idea!!!

 

[MushyMushy]

I must be the worst mother ever. I don't know how my poor urchins ever survived without big trips to here, there and yonder during the school year or whenever we pleased. They must be so limited from going to little day trips to zoos, museums, science centers and short weekends to nearby attractions!

I must go apologize to them for the miserable childhood I provided to them.

 

[jodifla]

How is it that you know the OP's circumstances regarding time off work? Late Sept isn't noticeably cooler, less crowded, or cheaper than early Sept, and the OP lives in a state where BY LAW public schools cannot start before Labor Day. She could have gotten the same low crowds, low prices, and high temperatures the first week of Sept without the hassles of missing school, so I don't think it is logical to assume she's being anything less than honest about her reasons for going when she is.

And for the record, this is what we did this year...we were at WDW from Aug. 29 throught Sept. 5. The crowds were really low, and the temperature was in the high 80s low 90s most days, so it worked out great.

 

[jodifla]

Yeah!!! Let's get all the teachers out of their jobs. All the problems will be fixed then. Great idea!!!

Not sure why you felt the need to be sarcastic. Fact is, homeschooling is skyrocketing, and the attitude that your children belong to the school instead of to you fuels the fire in many instances.



Again, it's not little Johnny missing 5 days of school for vacation that is hampering American education. My school shows that with its "what attendance policy?" attitude.

What DOES make a difference is high parent involvement. My DS's school also shows that. Parents are VERY active in the school.

I overheard a parent telling my son's teacher that they were off to WDW in October. Her response was an enthusiastic "Great!"

 

[C&G'sMama]

I’ll admit I like to go when the crowds are lighter and there are better deals. That is absolutely why we go during the school year. We were going to go in April/May 2010 but NYS moved their standardized test this year to that week so we won’t pull them out. We will however pull them out at the beginning of December. It’s a personal choice. Why does one parent have to be right? We all have different parenting styles and beliefs. My kids are not allowed to watch the newer Hannah Montana and ICarly because we feel it’s too mature for them. On the other hand her best friend’s parents would never dream of taking their daughter out of school for Disney but allows their daughter to watch more mature TV and movies. That is their choice. If you do not believe it is a good idea to take your child out of school for vacation, then don’t and I’m not going to judge you for. But please don’t judge me either.
This discussion reminds me of the great breast feeding vs. non-breast feeding debate. There is always this "need" for someone to be right. Why?

 

[MrsPete]

Okay I'm assuming this is a joke, but. . . Vacations are pretty easy to plan. Babies, not so much. You have complete control of when your vacation happens. People don't always have the ability to plan exactly when their babies will be born, for a variety of reasons. It's a ridiculous comparison - and I imagine any parent who would actually do something this absurd would be the laughingstock of their entire school district for years to come.

Any parent who actually said such a thing to a teacher was DEFINITELY made a laughing stock in the staff room!

Furthermore, it's a ridiculous comparison:

A child who misses school misses lessons. No one else can learn for that child; so if the child is out while the class is learning multiplication tables, he's just missed that instruction. The child loses out.

However, a teacher is an employee doing a job. A qualified sub can step in and do that job. Any teacher can teach the child his multiplication tables, so no one loses anything.

 

[MrsPete]

It's abhorent that schools think they have the right to tell you what to do with your kids -- the truancy laws in some states are completely over the top.

Then you're arguing that schools should be responsible for educating children, yet they shouldn't be able to require students to attend? Or have any "right to tell you what to do with your kids"?

How do you think that could possibly work?​

If you're going to have a large number of people working together towards a common goal, rules must be a part of that system. With no rules, nothing could ever be completed. Each individual, of course, has the option NOT to be a part of that system.

 

[jodifla]

Then you're arguing that schools should be responsible for educating children, yet they shouldn't be able to require students to attend? Or have any "right to tell you what to do with your kids"?

How do you think that could possibly work?​

If you're going to have a large number of people working together towards a common goal, rules must be a part of that system. With no rules, nothing could ever be completed. Each individual, of course, has the option NOT to be a part of that system.

It's worked for years. We didn't have these over the top attendance rules when I was growing up.

Attendance rules, yes. Onerous rules, no.

Just because you send your kids to school doesn't mean you turn over your rights as a parent.

This is one of the biggest problem with schools: the sheeple mentality.