Taking the "boyfriend"?

[Rneighh]

LOL --- now I am really laughing. But now that I look back at my pictures hubby is not in very many. He is the camera nut. I never knew getting divorced would be so easy I sure am glad my pictures with Goofy are not going to be garbarge.

Renee

 

[MemphisDad]

My wife crops me out of pictures as it is so she can insert pictures of Jon Bon Jovi.

 

[Cailin'sMom]

I can see both sides of this...somewhat. As a teenager, would I have been Thrilled if my parents had allowed my bf to go with us to Disney. YES!!! However, did the world come to the end when they refused....NO!!! In fact, I will say that it was the BEST family trip that we ever had. My sister is 4 years younger and we went when I was 19 and she was 15. We had an awesome time. And actually during the trip I was GLAD that he wasn't there. We got my parents to ride things like Space Mtn, Big Thunder Mtn, although my mom did chicken out at Tower of Terror.

My sister and I also hung out with my parents the entire time. I will echo that it was the BEST family trip that we have ever taken. Had the boyfriend been there we would have not been around parents and my sister would have felt like the 3rd wheel.

So from that perspective, I would suggest that if you are going to take the BF that you consider the other children and the possibility that they will feel left out. Therefore, I would either allow other friends or leave the BF at home. After all, at this point your family is the most important. And one day...if they do get married and have their own children, they will appreciate these dynamics more.

And as for "keeping her from being pouty or cranky" If this is a consideration then she is not nearly as "mature" as she would like us to believe.

 

[theboysmom]

I too married my high school sweethear. We never traveled together and were not allowed to be with each other 24/7 while in high school. The reason for this is that both of our parents wanted us to be individuals. We did trips together and with friends when we were in college. After college we broke up, dated otheres and got engaged to others, called off the engagements and the we were married. The point is we became individuals who could do things for ourselves and by ourselves, we each had individual accomplishments and didnt rely on each other for our sole happiness. My point is that we were not at all afraid to be alone and responsible for ourselves. We now look back fondly on our pasts and the things we did.

I hope this doesnt come across as an attack. This is just my experience.

 

[mrskay9]

As far as pictures of old boyfriends, well, they're like pictures of awful outfits we wore. They're funny to look at, and ya laugh and move on.

And as far as money is concerned, I don't know your specifics, but I had a girlfriend and when we'd go places w/ her parents they'd buy me stuff and vice versa. It all worked out in the end.

Good luck!

 

[sconnell]

Ok, I know I'm late and most everything I'm going to say has already been said, but...
I started dating my first serious BF when I had just turned 15, he was 17. Within a few months, we new we were going to be married one day. Our favorite dates were renting movies and watching them at my house, going to the movies and back to my house, ...
In the beginning, our parents were sceptical about our seriousness, but after a while, we became a part of each other's family. He had a sister a year younger than I and we were friends. (We met at our church youth group and had all of the same friends.) Near the end of our first year of dating, I stayed over at their house on New Year's Eve, because it was late and they didn't want him to have to drive the 30 min to my house to drop me off. I stayed with his sister. We had tons of fun and it became an annual event. As the years passed, I began to do more and more things with his family and he with mine. I was a little hurt when they would have "family" birthday celebrations, but in the long run, I learned a lot about families from his parents. They are great examples of parents and of a husband and wife (but that's a different thread). 8 years later, we are married, with our second child on the way. We are the ones who got married, then had the babies. We cherish all of the photos and memories of the times we had together before we were married, but we also cherish the times we had with our own families. I think it made our family stronger. The trips I took with his family were great, but I did have his sister. He never went on trips with my family, because it was just my parents and me.
Either way, if the relationship is truely mature, then she will understand your reasoning. Whatever YOUR decision is. But, being supportive of her relationship is great. Not too far one way or the other though.

 

[Rneighh]

As the original poster I have to address something-----

I never said she would be pouty or cranky -- someone else seems to have mentioned that and now it is being attributed to my daughter with references about that not being very mature.

I was not and still am not asking for everyone's morality or parenting comments.

Renee

 

[GIOny]

O.K. no morality here! Just speaking from experience with my daughters, once you start bringing boyfriends or girlfriends on vacation with you it is almost expected that every time you go anywhere that they are part of the deal. We no longer go anywhere without the boyfriends. It can get expensive if your not careful, so if you do decide to bring him, make sure you set down the ground rules before you go as far as who pays for what and what is expected of them as far as staying with you in the parks. Also, just keep in mind what you do for one child you will have to follow through and do for all of them. To answer your question about the room, although I have never been to AKL, so I am not familiar with their room size but yes it will probally get crowded in the room but the big problem will be the bathroom, again, set down the ground rules for shower times! Good luck with whatever decision you make and let us know how the trip goes.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

Well after reading everyones post Good Luck!!My parents took my ex with us to Montreal after college. It was great. They got us are own room and the night we got there my dad gave matt my ex 100 bucks to take me out. I dont regret any of it and neither do my parents. Matt and I are no longer together we were for over 2 years and still talk, but I love my pics from Montreal and have fond memories of the trip. I guess it just depends on how comfortable you are. My parents paid for everything and we took them out for a expensive dinner one night. Good Luck with making a decision cant wait to see how it turns out.

 

[jorosam]

We leave in 3 days for WDW with 15 year old daughter and her 16 year old boyfriend. We are all looking foward to this trip. It is BF's first trip to WDW and DD can't wait to show him around. We will be staying off site this trip so we could have a little more room. DD will stay with us in bedroom and BF will sleep in living room of the suite we have rented. They are great kids and we know it will be a lot of fun. BF's mother has no problem with him coming along with us. He paid for his park hopper passes and we are paying for hotel. It is actually cheaper than what we would have spent if we stayed on site for the 3 of us. We will be paying for food ( feed him most of the time anyway) and he will have some spending money of his own. Can't wait to leave--will let you know how all works out when we get back. By the way, they have been going out almost 1 year and spend all their free time together.

 

[HenDuck]

Ok, I'll add my 2 cents in.

I would be ok with the BF coming but only if there were separate sleeping arrangements. Like all the boys in one room, girls in the other (or DD with parents). If I could not afford the extra room, I'd tell my DD, "sorry, but it's just not doable". It's only one week.

You still pay the bills and therefore, make the rules too!

If you are uncomfortable with him going, he should stay home.

Good luck!

 

[dg39]

I don't see anything wrong with bringing the boyfriend. If he's a nice kid, gets along good with everyone in the family and is respectful, then go right ahead and bring him. Why not make your daughters vacation alittle more happier for her. This is only a week's vacation to disney. Whats the big deal. So in my opinion take him and I hope everyone has a GREAT time.....

 

[GeoffM24]

Originally posted by Rneighh
As the original poster I have to address something-----

I never said she would be pouty or cranky -- someone else seems to have mentioned that and now it is being attributed to my daughter with references about that not being very mature.

I was not and still am not asking for everyone's morality or parenting comments.

Renee

The point is that she probably wouldn't have as much fun without him then with.

If you told me I could go to WDW but I couldn't take my wife or friends I'm sure I'd be pouty or cranky! It isn't about maturity, it is about preference!

 

[mommyto3]

The only problem I would have with the situation is this, I have 3 kids and when one brings a friend, or in your case a boyfriend, then the other two ask to bring friends also.

We have brought my oldest daughters best friend with us on trips in the past, but started to get "Why can't I bring a friend?" from my son. Only a matter of time before my youngest daughter starts asking also.

I realize your situations is with a "boyfriend" not a "friend", but for me, this would not be a trust issue, or they may break up in the future issue, ect.... For us it would be a "we can't afford to bring a friend for every one" And as someone has already said, when you do it once, they expect it each time.

So for me, I wouldn't be able to do it mainly for financial reasons. I can NOT afford to bring a friend for each of my children. And because they are close enough in age it really wouldn't be fair to let one and not the others.

I'm not sure if this is an issue for you. If it's not, and you like the boy and can afford the extra person then I say, why not?

 

[redskiesx25]

my brother is 16 and he has a girlfriend the same age. We recently came back from Disney...he never asked about bringing her, but he deffinetly missed her, and talked to her on the phone and everything...and he bought her gifts... but i dont think he wanted to bring her with OUR family... they are all kinda crazy, lol

 

[kidzmom3]

I wondered if anyones opinion has changed since the thread about the daughter who slept with her boyfriend for the first time, while they were on vacation with the daughters parents. I know it could happen any where, but it did happen at the hotel

 

[Becky2005]

Originally posted by BrianMonk
LOL -

As we're standing in front of Cindy's Castle, "uh honey, can you step to the side for this picture?"

"Why Dear?"

"Well in case we get divorced, I don't want you to screw up all of our Disney pictures!"


So when you see the wife smacking the husband around in front of the castle, come introduce yourself and let me know you're a fellow Dis member.

That is hilarious but you know what? I have TONS of pictures (not Disney) without my DH in it because he *hates* having his picture taken so if given the choice he would gladly move out of the way for the picture, I'm usually dragging him INTO the frame for family pictures (or putting him to use making him hold one of the kids!)

 

[ErinInCT]

I'm curious at to what the OP decided? Did dbf come or not? We don't even share a room with our own kids, I would certainly not share a room w/dbf. I would get 2 rooms & us girls could be in one & the boys in another. If dbf agreed to sleep with dad then it's a go!!!
Man, I wasn't even allowed to date until I was 16. I never went on vacation with any of my MANY dbf's (or girl friends either) & none came on vacation with us either. I guess times have changed!

 

[bettyann29]

Just my opinion but.... a family vacation is a family vacation... thats all there is to it.. Once you bring a friend/boyfriend than you would have to realize that it may be expected from here onin.. I would say to maybe invite on a weekend getaway or a day out or something, but I wouldnt want to be responsible for another child so far from home..

 

[MELSMICE]

We just returned from our trip this evening. Oldest DD (15) did not bring her boyfriend & I wouldn't recommend it. They talked on the phone every evening after 9 p.m. (free minutes!) She sent him postcards & even sent him an e-mail post card from EPCOT.

He was over visiting an hour after we got home & is still here right now. I know they missed each other, but that is what part of a relationship is about. This was our family time. We had a lot of laughs & I just don't think it would have been the same with a BF there. My DD had a great time & acted like a real kid again - in fact I said to DH today that it was like stepping back in time a few years & it was great!

I say go with your own family & enjoy the time you can have together. In too short a time you won't be able to enjoy time alone with just your kids - they'll be at college or have families of their own much too soon!