Taking family vent

[Shleedogg]

When DH and I bought in at BLT in July we were so excited because that meant we could start helping family and friends take cheaper vacations but stay at nicer resorts. SIL (DH's sister) is driving me crazy. At first she was really excited that she, her husband and our niece could stay at AKV. DN LOVES giraffes. I mean LOVES. Rack rate for when we're going would put AKL way out of their price range OOP. She's insisting that we stay over a weekend, which uses more points. She's a middle school principal and feels that the superintendent wouldn't give her a whole school week off.

So she calls me last weekend to say that her in laws have decided to come too, AND they've already bought airfare! They're just going to stay in the room w/ her family. I said that first, I didn't think that was legal since DN is 4. Second, there weren't two beds, just a bed and pull out couch. She says "well can't we just pay a little more and get a bigger room?" So I explain DVC to her again and that since we're staying over a weekend, that drained our points. If we stayed Sun-Thurs, we'd have enough points to cover 3 rooms.

I've been on the rent/trade board looking for someone to rent points from, but the price per point is almost double what we're charging SIL and she doesn't think her ILs can afford it. This is just so frustrating because I love SIL, she's DD's guardian if something happens to DH and I, clearly our favorite of his 7 siblings. I was so excited about this trip and now it's turning into a big pita.

How do you keep your sanity when renting points to family? Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[disney1990]

If it were me, I would be directing the inlaws over to All Stars or to Pop Century where they can actually afford a room at Disney.

 

[Louiepipbgeeco]

 

[Disney Princess]

I'm so sorry! Family is one of life's biggest mysteries - you love them, and yet they can cause the most grief.

I would probably tell her that they can't stay in the room with her as they would be over limit which will mess up EMH (no room ID) and the dining plan if you do it. Furthermore, I'd explain that YOU don't want to be in trouble for HER breaking the rules. I would kindly say "because of the time of year we've chosen, the type of room, and the days of the week, we don't have enough points to treat his parents as well. If they would like to come, here are the options." Then tell them that they can rent (give pricing) and explain the values, mods, etc. If they are onsite SOMEWHERE, you can still meet up together each day for your park touring and dining quite easily as everyone will have the transportation available. Also, everyone might want a separate space to themselves during the week for breaks.

If that doesn't help, then I'd say, well we can get three rooms if we change to XYZ. Maybe a different room view, dates, etc. Leave it in her court that you are willing to work with what you have and now she needs to be flexible in her demands.

Hang in there! It'll work out.

 

[Dean]

When DH and I bought in at BLT in July we were so excited because that meant we could start helping family and friends take cheaper vacations but stay at nicer resorts. SIL (DH's sister) is driving me crazy. At first she was really excited that she, her husband and our niece could stay at AKV. DN LOVES giraffes. I mean LOVES. Rack rate for when we're going would put AKL way out of their price range OOP. She's insisting that we stay over a weekend, which uses more points. She's a middle school principal and feels that the superintendent wouldn't give her a whole school week off.

So she calls me last weekend to say that her in laws have decided to come too, AND they've already bought airfare! They're just going to stay in the room w/ her family. I said that first, I didn't think that was legal since DN is 4. Second, there weren't two beds, just a bed and pull out couch. She says "well can't we just pay a little more and get a bigger room?" So I explain DVC to her again and that since we're staying over a weekend, that drained our points. If we stayed Sun-Thurs, we'd have enough points to cover 3 rooms.

I've been on the rent/trade board looking for someone to rent points from, but the price per point is almost double what we're charging SIL and she doesn't think her ILs can afford it. This is just so frustrating because I love SIL, she's DD's guardian if something happens to DH and I, clearly our favorite of his 7 siblings. I was so excited about this trip and now it's turning into a big pita.

How do you keep your sanity when renting points to family? Thanks for letting me vent!

Same old story it seems from other's experiences in this area. What gets me is how people are willing to take advantage of other friends and family without thinking anything about it. I'm guessing this is not the first similar thoughtless action you've seen from your SIL. Hopefully her brother (your spouse) is stepping up or at the very least not making things worse. I'm not sure why you're killing yourself in this situation, I'd put it back on them. One thing you might consider offering is to have them pay cash for the weekend nights for all of them (2 villas) then you can use the points you've already allotted for the rest. Somehow though I suspect they'll have other issues along the way but I hope I'm wrong for your sake.

 

[StitchFan73]

First let me say you don't owe it to anyone to make yourself crazy. But if you are looking for a solution that involves everyone, perhaps if you take you niece in your room. Then SIL parents can stay with her and your DD has her cousin to have fun sleepovers with.

Just throwing it out there. Sorry for your frustration.

 

[quentina]

Although I don't think this is something you should have to do considering your generosity, my thoughts would be to see if you could get a value room. A valus 2 bedroom is less than a savannah view 1 bedroom.

I am not sure if you are in a studio............then that wouldn't help.

Otherwise, good luck.

 

[crisi]

"I'm sorry, they can't stay in our room because we'll be over the occupancy limit. You'd hate to see my DVC privledges suspended, I'm sure. All my points for my timeshare are used - I don't have any to spare. They will need to pay cash somewhere else. I'm sorry, you really should have checked with me before they booked airfare."

(They won't suspend them, but she doesn't need to know that).

Do not offer to pay for a room or help them rent points or even suggest a resort for them.

 

[Minniemama350]

I think if it were me I would come up with two scenerios that are do-able and let SIL choose the one she thinks is best. That way, you are really still in control(as you should be) even though she may feel she made the decision. It sounds like your options are pretty clear: either stay during the week or her folks are on their own. I would be very clear about not letting extra people stay in her room and why that cannot happen(maybe you already have).

 

[robertdangelo]

I feel your pain! I don't like it when you give an inch and they take a mile.

 

[dianeschlicht]

You need to be firm about the occupancy thing and make suggestions for her in-laws. I'd probably suggest they try for one of the value resort deals (since they are doing the extra free days now) and make sure you play the "we don't want to get our membership into trouble" card big enough so they are scared to go over the occupancy. Sure, it will mean her in-laws will be in a different resort, but if they aren't going to pay the price, then they'll have to pay the inconvenience.

 

[smjj]

It took 2+ years to get all things settled for our upcoming family trip. I actually read many stories here on the DIS about the pitfalls of others family trips and took them into account planning ours. Hope all works out for you...smjj

 

[DenLo]

I think you have to admit your SIL is taking advantage of your generosity. Since it was her decision to move the dates from the week days to the weekend, there should be consequences. I think you need to move your reservation to a resort with cheaper points so you are not spending anymore points than you planned. And tell her this change has to be done since she changed the dates. Also tell her that since she wants her in-laws to come, they need to buy the points to stay in their own room.

If you don't set your SIL straight now she will continue to do whatever she wants with your points in the future.

 

[pilgrimr]

I would have been upset with them buying tickets w/out talking to me first about whether it was possible to add the in-laws.

One option you might think about doing is adding the niece to your room, but still have her sleep w/ sil room (have them bring a sleeping bag and she can sleep on floor).

Other than that I would tell her that these are the points that she has available and that she has to make it work even if it means making some hard decisions like moving to a different resort w/ cheaper points or doing a value room at AKV. If she really has her heart set on it, then you need to direct her to where she can rent the points to make it happen.

I know you want to help her and her family have a great time, and that is very understandable. We also got DVC so we can have family come with us. But I don't think your sil understands or appreciates what it takes to schedule a room.

Good luck and I hope you are able to have a great time.

 

[Shleedogg]

I did tell her that they couldn't have that many people in the room. I then also explained to her that besides not being allowed, it would be very uncomfortable since there's just one bed and one pullout couch. She now is of the mindset that they need two rooms.

We're actually already staying in a value studio at AKV, plus borrowing 6 points from next year (we already took a trip in Nov and used some points at AKV). So, there's no way to downgrade the room any more. I called member services this morning, no more value studios for the length of our stay. There's a standard view studio at Kidani and a savannah view studio at Jambo. I told her those were her two options and the prices or she could just book another resort on her own and pay cash and I wouldn't be offended at all.

DH is on my side, love him! He's definitely not trying to bend over backwards for his sister, it's all me, lol. We do feel like SIL is really ungrateful considering she was going to be paying about $85/night for AKV. Rack rate is over $300 for the time we're going. She's acting like we're inconveniencing her. She decided fly out a day early, without checking with me, and was annoyed that she'd have to stay at a value and move or pay the full price for the AK room. We're both hoping she'll take the out we gave her and book a room at a value with her in-laws. When I was on the phone w/ member services I checked on availability at BLT, they had a studio available. So if they go value, we're going home!

Thanks for the advice and letting me vent! Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol. Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.

 

[LSchrow]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? .

yup, but i think we're one of the few lucky ones
i told sil everything in detail before i booked the room the first time, & informed her that they would have to pay if there were any additional charges for changes to room size, view (bwv), dates, etc.
i'll absorb up to about $100, anything over that, they pay (i don't tell her i've absorbed some costs, just that if they don't pay for any changes, i can't book them a room anymore....said with love & a smile of course).

i told db & dsil that i won't jeopardize my other trips with dh and/or dd (by not having enough points), so all plans need to be firm before i make the first call to ms. we've been booking their every other year trips for the past ten years, reminding them every year of the "rules" & haven't had a problem (yet)
good luck

 

[Lynne M]

Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.

I think that's a fabulous idea for anyone thinking about inviting family or friends. It can be done in a humorous way to keep things friendly, but it's so important for guests to understand the basics of DVC's workings, and that there can be a real cost to you (in real money, or lost future vacations) if they screw things up.

There have been so many horror stories on these boards about family trips gone wrong, and in so many cases, it's been because of a misconception that you stay free when you own DVC, or that it's like owning a vacation home, where there's tons of space, and it's available any time you (or they) want to use it.

I'm still reeling over her inviting additional people along without asking you. Oh, my. That'd get her on my DVC blacklist for all time...no more invites for her.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol. Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.

Yes, we bring both family and friends along all the time, and while we sometimes have a few minor glitches, it has usually gone very well. I always explain right at the beginning, that there will be NO changes to the plans once the dates are set. This includes extra folks (unless there is room in the occupancy rules) and extra nights or dates. If they can't agree to the nigh ts I provide, then it's up to them to pay their own way for the additional. I have had one group do that for a night, but there was no hard feelings about it, because they knew up front they had to do that. The key is preparing the guests for what DVC is and what it means. They have to realize it is NOT the same as booking a room from CRO.

Do you think perhaps your low price to them had them thinking it was "no big deal" to add people?

When we invite folks, it is our treat. That way they don't feel they have any right to "change" things around. If they do...they get to pay the OOP price from CRO.

 

[culli]

No good deed shall go unpunished

 

[Deb & Bill]

Yes, we bring both family and friends along all the time, and while we sometimes have a few minor glitches, it has usually gone very well. I always explain right at the beginning, that there will be NO changes to the plans once the dates are set. This includes extra folks (unless there is room in the occupancy rules) and extra nights or dates. If they can't agree to the nigh ts I provide, then it's up to them to pay their own way for the additional. I have had one group do that for a night, but there was no hard feelings about it, because they knew up front they had to do that. The key is preparing the guests for what DVC is and what it means. They have to realize it is NOT the same as booking a room from CRO.

Do you think perhaps your low price to them had them thinking it was "no big deal" to add people?

When we invite folks, it is our treat. That way they don't feel they have any right to "change" things around. If they do...they get to pay the OOP price from CRO.

We've done our trips with family and friends like Diane. No cost to them, but they are at our mercy for dates, times, resort. If they want to cut the trip short, that's fine, we can use the space. We only invite the grateful ones who either provide a dinner or two or when our son was little kept him for the evening while Bill & I had a night out alone.

But, then again, we never bought with the intention of bringing anyone but just the three of us.