Taking family vent

[rentayenta]

How do you keep your sanity when renting points to family? Thanks for letting me vent!

I would not rent to family or friends but I would offer for them to join us.

I like robinb's idea the best!!!!!!

 

[kikiq]

We've taken one big family trip and thanks to the wonderful DISers here, I booked a 2 bdrm and 1 studios instead of a grand villa for 12 people. At the last minute my brother's fil went into the hospital and they had to cancel. I could have then canceled the studio but my DDs decided that they needed private space from the rest of the family and used it. It was close to perfect except for my other brother not being able to come.

We picked the time because of my school schedule. They booked their own air and bought their tickets. We provided the room, they paid for everything else and in our time frame. Maybe our families are use to vacationing together, no one would even think to ask to change the dates once the primary planner had set the wheels in motion. Sort of like "We're going to be here on these dates and if you would like to join us, here is the info...where we're staying and IF there is room for them, flights we're taking and where they can get tickets".

But to be honest, we are limited by the number of points we have. And I don't think my DH is going to give up his Disney fix to have family with us too often.

 

[ppony]

OP, I'm SOOOO glad your DH is on your side. I FEAR brining family along for this reason among others. Honestly, the larger a group gets, the more concessions I/we/our family needs to make and I'm just not wliling to make them. Of course, with the ownership in DVC comes the generosity in us and I have mentioned to my BIL and my SIL about it. I worry about the pickle that could get us into but we'll see. Next year we'll bring my mom and she's already a bit of a handful, but I feel sorry for her. She never gets vacations because my father won't ALLOW her to leave or spend a dime on herself.

I'm SO sorry your SIL is being insanely ungrateful and demanding. This is YOUR property, not theirs and it is yours to use as you see fit. She must have encouraged her other inlaws to come w/o your knowledge for them to even book. Seriously, who does that!?!??! I hope you can draw the line and keep your arrangement as it was and THEY will have to make their own arrangements. I hope your DH will step in and put his foot down.

BIG hugs for you. I hope this all works out...SOON for your sake.

 

[Disney Princess]

Is anyone but me agast over inviting your husband's sister - only to be told HER HUSBAND'S PARENTS are coming along on your vacation.

I cannot imagine - in my wildest dreams - having my sister invite us somewhere, and inviting my husband's family along without talking to her first. Or that they would invite themselves along under those circumstances.

Actually, the first time I read the post I thought the sister invited her own parents - the mutual grandparents to the two little girls. My first thought was that it was awkward that the SIL did the inviting, but then I realized it isn't even the mutual grandparents.

I do find it "strange" just because I am picturing the situation in my family with my husband's sister wondering what I would feel/think/do. I have come to realize that many people (family included ) do things I would never dream of doing.

I am so happy the OP has the situation resolved in a way that makes everyone happy. I hope it turns out to be a great trip!

 

[Dean]

Is anyone but me agast over inviting your husband's sister - only to be told HER HUSBAND'S PARENTS are coming along on your vacation.

I cannot imagine - in my wildest dreams - having my sister invite us somewhere, and inviting my husband's family along without talking to her first. Or that they would invite themselves along under those circumstances.

I agree, it's plan rude. That was one of the main reasons I wondered if this was the first issue between the OP and the SIL. Fortunately it's working out without major issues and there doesn't appear to be the major personality issues that I feared after reading the original posts.

As I hinted above, many people have different ideas about timeshares and vacations in geneal and they are often very wrong. Many assume a timeshare is free once you have bought it and therefore even charging them a fraction of the actual cost can be seen by some as taking advantage of them. That's not the reason I do family trips all on my dime for accommodations but it is a reason I would not rent to family/friends unless they first came to me and I was very comfortable they knew exactly what they were getting into and the true and actual benefit involved.

 

[Coach81]

Gotta love family

 

[StitchFan73]

If there we no occupancy issues, I honestly would be fine with them coming. They are really nice people. My problem was just that they booked airfare and just assumed that it would be no problem to add them.

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)

All is well now that I candidly (but nicely) told SIL how difficult it would be. She understands and says that they just want to go and don't care where they stay. Thanks for the place to let me vent my frustrations. I did learn a lot over the last few days and will know what to do/not to do in the future re: family.

I am really glad it's all working out in a way that's good for you. Vacation should not be stressful, but family can drive you crazy like no one else

Have a great time!

P.S. I do agree with Robin as well-direct them to the rent/trade board and let them do the work. It might make them a bit more appreciative of how hard planning something like this can be

 

[dmoore22]

"Familiarity breeds contempt, --- and children." Mark Twain

 

[BroganMc]

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)

All is well now that I candidly (but nicely) told SIL how difficult it would be. She understands and says that they just want to go and don't care where they stay. Thanks for the place to let me vent my frustrations. I did learn a lot over the last few days and will know what to do/not to do in the future re: family.

I'm glad to hear that. When I read your OP I was having major deja vu from my issues trying to arrange a trip for me and my siblings last year. Not everyone understood the complexities of DVC membership and travel preferences. My SILs were more concerned about their kids' school schedules and pushing for summer and I'm so used to travelling off-season with my semi-retired dad (who can't handle summer heat and crowds).

It did all work out in the end. The one thing I learned was to make our plans first (what worked better for my dad and I) and then give them the option of joining us. I did move it to a weekend and had to reduce room sizes and trip length, but now we're all (that's 4 families, 17 people) happy as clams to be leaving Friday.

It was a faux pas for your SIL to invite her in-laws along on your trip. That would annoy me as it seems to color the trip differently than what you envisioned. But you have to allot for a bit of Disney excitement getting the better of folks. I'm guessing when they thought of going to Disney they were so excited by the possibility they didn't use their common sense.

One thing you learn when bringing others along on trips is that everyone has a different vacationing style. If you try to force guests to go in your direction they'll make you miserable.

Also, I do not rent to anyone, especially family and friends. As soon as money changes hands things get wonky. So when I invite, I'm prepared to cover the bill. If I can't, then I resist the temptation to invite. If people want to pay, then I give them the costs and make a mental note to put them on the Preferred Guest list for next time.

Hang in there! By the time you get to the trip and especially after when you rehash the memories you'll have so much fun laughing you won't have time for the tears.

 

[Shleedogg]

Actually, the first time I read the post I thought the sister invited her own parents - the mutual grandparents to the two little girls. My first thought was that it was awkward that the SIL did the inviting, but then I realized it isn't even the mutual grandparents.

I do find it "strange" just because I am picturing the situation in my family with my husband's sister wondering what I would feel/think/do. I have come to realize that many people (family included ) do things I would never dream of doing.

I am so happy the OP has the situation resolved in a way that makes everyone happy. I hope it turns out to be a great trip!

funny you should mention that, SIL did invite the mutual grandparents! lol. That's fine with us though, we've been to WDW with them twice now. They're paying cash for their room, not counting on us to plan for them.

Because of SIL's job (middle school principal) she doesn't get to go to Disney often, so I think she's just really excited and wants everyone to be able to experience it with her family and see how much her daughter is enjoying it.

 

[corpcomp]

Welcome to family!

We don't tell our extended family for that exact reaon. We bought a beach house that we rent out and ended up not talking to some of them that wanted to stay there for free for the summer. There seems to be an entitlement mentality in most families that when they get a free deal from another family member, they complain about why they cannot have more.

 

[Disney Princess]

funny you should mention that, SIL did invite the mutual grandparents! lol. That's fine with us though, we've been to WDW with them twice now. They're paying cash for their room, not counting on us to plan for them.

Because of SIL's job (middle school principal) she doesn't get to go to Disney often, so I think she's just really excited and wants everyone to be able to experience it with her family and see how much her daughter is enjoying it.

That is too funny that she invited both sets. It does seem like she is very excited for this trip. I hope it all continues to work out.

 

[Shleedogg]

Welcome to family!

We don't tell our extended family for that exact reaon. We bought a beach house that we rent out and ended up not talking to some of them that wanted to stay there for free for the summer. There seems to be an entitlement mentality in most families that when they get a free deal from another family member, they complain about why they cannot have more.

We run into this ALL the time w/ DH's brothers and sisters. DH has his BS in Comp Sci and works as a CTO, so knows his computers. He's constantly being asked to come fix a computer. One brother in particular is really bad. His girls get on there and are always getting viruses on it and calling DH. Meanwhile, we live an hour away and they never say they'll bring it here, they always just assume it's no big deal to drive out there. His girls are really bad about it. They were badgering him a couple months ago, constantly calling within a 2 hr period(we only have one car so he had to wait for me to get home). I got sick of it and politely told the girls that he's busy and does have other things he has to do and they can't always be a priority. Now some in the family think I'm a witch, but I don't care, it was getting out of hand. Two brothers won't even talk to me anymore, lol. Family relations are so complicated! Thank god for forums to vent!

 

[BeccaG]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol.

Yes but the invites were like this, "we are going on such and such dates to WDW? Want to come? If so, we will cover your room. Now this is a timeshare so I have to know by 6 months out if you won't be able to come so I don't lose money." I have never given options on the room, just booked what I felt was best for the group and its worked out all 3 times, 4th coming up in March is a little different, but I don't see any problems. . .yet

 

[Jets fan]

My sister and I own at OKW and have taken family on three occasions. Parents twice and another sisters family once. When we invited them we explained about DVC and what they could expect, what the sleeping arrangments would be etc - they knew that their son would need to sleep on the pull out bed in the lounge, so there could be no misunderstandings.

My other sister and her family booked their flights independently of us as they wanted to save money on them (so they could shop more!) so they flew indirectly. We never do this as I liked to get to Disney asap, regardless of the cost involved

We met up just before we could make dinner reservations and picked the restaurants we wanted to eat at. We printed off menues from about 30 Disney retaurants (we had DDP) and everybody, including the children choose where they fancied eating. We then collated the answers and booked the top 14 restaurants. This way we could all meet up for dinner every evening and go our own ways during the day, but this never really happened as we tended to stick together, except me who went to parks for a couple of hours and then caught the bus back to OKW to sun worship!

My sis and I purchased DVC simply so we could take family with us as our guests and I'm really glad we did.

All trips worked out really well and they all loved OKW simply because of the space.

Tina

 

[jpeka65844]

We've taken family once and will be taking friends in January. The family trip was without a hitch.

We took the IL's and DH's aunt/uncle, cousin/husband/daughter, from CO. We got 2 2-Bdrm units at WL for a Sun-Fri stay. IL's didn't pay a cent; they do so much for us that it was never a question of them paying for their room. We told our other relatives to "pay us what they thought was fair" We were NOT out to make money on this venture. It drove my DH's aunt crazy; she even went as far as calling a TA and investigating a fake trip to find out what a stay would cost. They wound up giving us $1K for their stay. Works out to about $40 per person per day. Not a bad deal for them. Trip was fine; only thing that bothered us was they're late risers we never seemed to get as early as a start as we would've liked.

We're taking friends in January. We've got a 2 Bdrm and a 1 Bdrm. The friends that are staying in the 2 Bdrm with us are getting it for free. Our friends in the 1 Bdrm are paying us what it would've cost them to stay at Pop. They're a family of 5 (with one infant; don't worry!!!) and were going to squeeze into one room over there. We said nu-huh; we're getting you a bigger room.

We've had nothing but good luck in sharing DVC with friends and family. I'm so sorry for the people who it doesn't work out for!!!