Table Manners....

[DeaverTex]

I think that the only thing that really skeeves me out (well, other than picking your teeth with a fork ) has to be someone chewing with their mouth open. It turns my stomach.

Other than that, I guess my formal table manners must really suck because I:

Butter all of my bread while it's hot. If it's a roll, I use my knife (assuming a sharp one has been provided and not a dull table knife) to cut it open.

Eat pizza, fried chicken, french fries, bacon, and sandwiches with my fingers. (I don't eat peas with my knife, although I tried once just for giggles. Disastrous.)

Cut my salad with a knife and fork if the greens or something else is in too big of a chunk for one bite.

Double dip if it's just Mrs. Tex and me. She does too, and have you seen the Mythbusters episode where they explore double dipping?


By the way, I can eat both American style (the knife and fork dance, which -- at least back in the 1970's -- mesmerizes Germans) and European style. I prefer American, but it's just a preference.

 

[jujube]

smacking
chewing with mouth open
elbows on the table
no napkin on the lap
singing at the table
talking with food in the mouth

 

[kaytieeldr]

Call me crass baby AND I've taken etiquette classes and was never taught that!!

That's nice. I've taken etiquette classes, but not for well over forty years and never related to dining.

Yet I've always known this is the proper way to eat bread/rolls.

From the Etiquette For Dummies book:

I will have to get that book! Thank you .
Um, is there anything in there about the etiquette of taking advantage of one's friendship with an employee of the publisher, to get a discount?

 

[happygirl]

blowing your nose at the table. It makes me physically ill

 

[Ceila]

Things like chewing with your mouth open really get to me. Improper table manners don't bother me personally, although I do think it says something about the person. I agree that there are different levels of dining, so when eating at a pub with the family, picking up french fries is fine. However, we do teach our kids things like the correct way to butter a roll, how to place utensils during the meal and when finished eating, etc.

 

[Squidgyness]

I'm from England and I've never ever ever heard of the bread rule. In fact, we often eat whole buttered slices of bread even in fairly upmarket resteraunts (with Fish and Chips) and no one bats an eyelid. If it is an etiquette rule, it doesn't exist here.

I follow basic rules of cleanliness regards to germs (sticking forks you have eaten from into serving dishes etc is my biggest pet peeve), but elbows etc are taking it too far. "No elbows on the table" sounds more like a childrens game than a sensible rule, but thats just me.

I've no doubt many of you would consider me crass if you saw me eat. I really don't care though Not being offensive, I just really couldn't give a hoot if you get bothered. Don't like the way I eat, don't invite me. If in a resteraunt, as a PP said look away.

 

[cornflake]

I am just amazed that so many people watch how others are eating, I don't mean the nose blowing, open mouth chewing I mean, I never watch how someone eats a roll, or what hand their utelnsils are in or if they cut up all their meat before they eat it. I guess I pay attention to my own plate and worry about my own food and I look at a person when I am talking to them not if their meat is cut up on their plate.

It's not about watching like you're sitting staring at people waiting to catch them out. It's just you'd notice, same as you'd notice if someone was sitting with their elbows on the table.

The bread thing is hilarious to me, just because I didn't know so many people didn't know that. It's a very basic bit of etiqette, imo. In the 'don't shove a giant thing into your mouth' category that would have you cut a hamburger in half before you began to eat it in a decent restaurant.

That's how it's not about watching other people, it's just something you'd notice, because it's ingrained in you, if it is. Same as 'no elbows on the table' or 'hold your fork properly' or 'place your napkin in your lap/wipe your mouth' etc., every other thing you say to small kids to teach them table manners. If your parents did that, you end up doing it by rote and yes, notice when someone breaks a basic rule. I wouldn't say anything, I wouldn't think them infantile (I think that's a strange word to use in this context), but I'd notice and find it sortof odd, ill-mannered, uncouth what have you, if someone took a whole roll, cut it in half with a knife and buttered it all and chomped on it and put the half-chomped piece down. It's not like I'd go home and tell my friends, but you notice in passing when someone does something that breaks a basic rule of etiqette. If someone over the age of three licks their fingers at the table, that I'm going home and telling people.

You select a piece of bread, put it on your bread plate or, lacking a bread plate, on the side of your plate, tear off a piece and put on a bit of butter or dip it in oil and eat it. If you'd like more, repeat. That's just what you do, I don't even remember being taught that, same as I don't remember being taught how to hold a fork - though I do remember having 'elbows!' hissed at me 4,000x growing up, as I tend to lean as the night goes on, heh.

 

[2girls4me]

Serioulsy? Bread and butter is controversial now? That ridiculous.

I think there are far, far worse offenses then eating a buttered roll improperly. Like how about watching your bil shovel food into his mouth, like a bulldozer. That's gross.

My other pet peeve happened at my old job all the time with the girl who,sat next to me. She would eat at her desk and constantly ask "can you hear me chewing?". Yes and I can see the food in your mouth too. Gag! That's just gross.

 

[Ceila]

Serioulsy? Bread and butter is controversial now? That ridiculous.

I think there are far, far worse offenses then eating a buttered roll improperly. Like how about watching your bil shovel food into his mouth, like a bulldozer. That's gross.

My other pet peeve happened at my old job all the time with the girl who,sat next to me. She would eat at her desk and constantly ask "can you hear me chewing?". Yes and I can see the food in your mouth too. Gag! That's just gross.

I think you're taking the bread thing a little too seriously. Others have posted the proper etiquette, and obviously some people have never heard of it. Not a huge deal. Wasn't this just a pet peeve thread? I don't remember any rule saying that only the worst offenses could be posted.

Your BIL and former co-worker are clearly lacking in social graces, though. At least you only have to deal with one of them now, lol.

 

[Carrie_Cat]

It's not about watching like you're sitting staring at people waiting to catch them out. It's just you'd notice, same as you'd notice if someone was sitting with their elbows on the table.

The bread thing is hilarious to me, just because I didn't know so many people didn't know that. It's a very basic bit of etiqette, imo. In the 'don't shove a giant thing into your mouth' category that would have you cut a hamburger in half before you began to eat it in a decent restaurant.

That's how it's not about watching other people, it's just something you'd notice, because it's ingrained in you, if it is. Same as 'no elbows on the table' or 'hold your fork properly' or 'place your napkin in your lap/wipe your mouth' etc., every other thing you say to small kids to teach them table manners. If your parents did that, you end up doing it by rote and yes, notice when someone breaks a basic rule. I wouldn't say anything, I wouldn't think them infantile (I think that's a strange word to use in this context), but I'd notice and find it sortof odd, ill-mannered, uncouth what have you, if someone took a whole roll, cut it in half with a knife and buttered it all and chomped on it and put the half-chomped piece down. It's not like I'd go home and tell my friends, but you notice in passing when someone does something that breaks a basic rule of etiqette. If someone over the age of three licks their fingers at the table, that I'm going home and telling people.

You select a piece of bread, put it on your bread plate or, lacking a bread plate, on the side of your plate, tear off a piece and put on a bit of butter or dip it in oil and eat it. If you'd like more, repeat. That's just what you do, I don't even remember being taught that, same as I don't remember being taught how to hold a fork - though I do remember having 'elbows!' hissed at me 4,000x growing up, as I tend to lean as the night goes on, heh.

I could have wrote the above...It's a question of upbringing and I can hear my mother saying "no elbows on the table" as I'm reading your post

Imagine when I came here and you have to keep your hands on the table (no elbows still though) rather than in your lap ... confusing wasn't the word.

And then there's the flowers

 

[Ceila]

I could have wrote the above...It's a question of upbringing and I can hear my mother saying "no elbows on the table" as I'm reading your post

Imagine when I came here and you have to keep your hands on the table (no elbows still though) rather than in your lap ... confusing wasn't the word.

And then there's the flowers

Hmm, what about the flowers?

 

[Carrie_Cat]

Never offer chrysanthemums to your host or as a gift to anyone as it's the flower associated with death and funerals

That's all you see on sale to put on the tombs here on the 2nd of November.

This I found out to my cost btw at one of the first dinner parties I was invited to

 

[MzDiz]

Quick, someone make a rule and a sticky about how we aren't allowed to talk about bread. Too much controversy, apparently.

Oh, and some of you are crazy.

 

[KristaTX]

All due respect, I think criticizing posters' pet peeves in this topic because one isn't familiar with a particular rule of etiquette, or thinks it's silly, is unreasonable.

Yes, I'm aware this is a public forum and once you put something out there yadda yadda yadda... but judging the annoyances really isn't necessary, is it?

I'm curious more than anything and trying to figure out the logic of it. The majority of things on this thread are offensive for obvious reasons (germs, rudeness, general disgustingness). But I don't understand the buttering the bread/roll thing.

I just want to know what bothers people in buttering the whole piece of bread/roll and taking bites of it, other than that it is an official etiquette rule. Most etiquette rules make some sense to me, even if I don't always take heed of them all. But this one doesn't.

One person may have indicated that they don't take a bite of anything ever and put it back on the plate and are disgusted if someone else does so in front of them. So if that is the issue, then I can see how it might gross them out (which would be like me having to watch someone slather mayonnaise on something and then watch them eat it ). So if it's a gross-out thing I see why it might be a major pet peeve. But for some people it sounds like it was just ingrained in them so much as a child that it has become an obsession - like the elbows on the table rule that is part of the fun and joking at the '50s Prime Time.

 

[cornflake]

I'm curious more than anything and trying to figure out the logic of it. The majority of things on this thread are offensive for obvious reasons (germs, rudeness, general disgustingness). But I don't understand the buttering the bread/roll thing.

I just want to know what bothers people in buttering the whole piece of bread/roll and taking bites of it, other than that it is an official etiquette rule. Most etiquette rules make some sense to me, even if I don't always take heed of them all. But this one doesn't.

One person may have indicated that they don't take a bite of anything ever and put it back on the plate and are disgusted if someone else does so in front of them. So if that is the issue, then I can see how it might gross them out (which would be like me having to watch someone slather mayonnaise on something and then watch them eat it ). So if it's a gross-out thing I see why it might be a major pet peeve. But for some people it sounds like it was just ingrained in them so much as a child that it has become an obsession - like the elbows on the table rule that is part of the fun and joking at the '50s Prime Time.

It's not an obsession, I have no idea where you're getting that.

It's a few things - one, one does not put giant things in one's mouth.

Hence you cut a hamburger in at least half before you'd even attempt to eat it, in even a moderately decent place (some crappy fast food thing is one thing, but we're talking about actual restaurants), you cut pizza, etc.

Two, no, one does not generally bite things and then put the bitten thing back on the plate in full view of others (a part of a burger may be an exception but one is discreet).

Three, it looks greedy and presumptive.

Same as one deals with the bread basket in a general sense, one deals with bread. If the bread basket has very large slices of something, one breaks one and takes half a slice. Later, if one wants the second half, one takes that.

Same as one does not serve onesself a giant serving of anything from a communal serving dish. One takes an appropriate, small serving and then, if one wishes to have more, one may take a second serving.

If one takes a small roll, one eats it as its eaten; one doesn't presume they're going to consume the entire thing, though one certainly may.

*This post is a demonstration of the dangers of using 'one' as a pronoun, as once one begins, one cannot waver from it.

 

[islandmum]

I hate all the usual stuff .... mouth open, other bodily noises, etc

but what I also can't stand is people using a fork like a shovel .... knife and fork, work together, but it seems to many that the fork has become the lone eating tool .. knife and shovel all in one.

and should they make it to the knife ... you dont hold it like a pen!

 

[Conkozan]

Mine is the cutting of the meat thing.

Cut a bite off, and eat it. Cut a bite off, and eat it. Do not cut it all up on your plate (like you do for a toddler) before you start to eat. Even my kids were able to cut their own meat properly by the time they were in first grade.

I cannot tell you how many business dinners I have been to, and witnessed adults cutting everything on their plate and then eating.


(and I do the bite size bits of bread too, buttering as I go along)

 

[kaytieeldr]

I just want to know what bothers people in buttering the whole piece of bread/roll and taking bites of it, other than that it is an official etiquette rule. Most etiquette rules make some sense to me, even if I don't always take heed of them all. But this one doesn't.

It's messy - and then you get into the whole 'licking your lips/fingers' issue.

Nobody cared when a poster in this thread complained (wrong word, but I'm too tired to think of the one I mean ) about people who cut up their entire piece of meat into bite-size pieces before they start eating. Maybe it's greed, I don't know - but it's about only prepping what you need as you need it.

Maybe back in the olden days, when etiquette was invented people were thriftier (not a bad thing) and kept over unused food for another meal. Easier to do with an unbuttered roll or slice of bread, or a chunk of steak...

 

[KristaTX]

I don't really care if people cut all their meat up or not, but I've always understood the reasoning for that as being that the meat gets cold faster if it's cut up into smaller bits.

I don't see how the butter melts if it's put on each small piece of bread. Maybe some people like their butter cold and unmelted as they eat it, which is fine if that's what they like.

 

[cornflake]

I don't really care if people cut all their meat up or not, but I've always understood the reasoning for that as being that the meat gets cold faster if it's cut up into smaller bits.

I don't see how the butter melts if it's put on each small piece of bread. Maybe some people like their butter cold and unmelted as they eat it, which is fine if that's what they like.

It has nothing to do with someone else's food getting cold or warm - that's not etiquette, unless you're the one somehow changing the temperature of their food (like if you're serving the meal incorrectly).

It is, as she said, about looking greedy and presumptive, same as the roll. Cutting up all one's food (I've never seen an adult do that), would also look daft as the day is long. I think that falls in the finger licking territory, in that I'd tell people after the fact. Like 'I was at dinner with these people and this guy cut up all his food into little bits like an anorexic, it was so weird.'