Table Manners....

[EPCOTatNight]

Please tell me you don't pick up a whole chicken leg, bite a piece off, and then put it down on the plate! There are utensils, such as a knife and fork, for eating large pieces of meat.

I agree with the PP - we don't have bread plates for daily meals, although my entire extended family always provides them for holiday meals. The butter knife is on the butter plate, but not used for buttering bread. I think some people are really defensive about this - I'm sorry you weren't better educated about table manners while growing up.

Your manners aren't that great if you feel the need to take shots at someone who disagrees with YOUR version of table manners. Tell me this. Who said your way is the right way and who made you or them the table manner authority?

 

[joviroxx]

Does continental style grate on your nerves? My parents are European and I was taught the continental style, so my knife always stays in my right hand and my fork never switches over to my right to eat.

The knife and for are not always put down while you chew because you do not have to switch all the time like in the American zig-zag style.

And I was taught the tear/butter/eat way of eating bread. Although at home, we are more relaxed just because of some of the reasons some have listed, ie: wanting the butter to melt into your warm bread.

Funny you should bring that up and it used to bother me. Ive since realized there are two ways to do things and Continental is one of them..When I say putting the fork down, I mean more along the lines of keeping it in your hand while you are talking and swinging it around. If you are talking, not eating, you should put your fork down!

 

[joviroxx]

Your manners aren't that great if you feel the need to take shots at someone who disagrees with YOUR version of table manners. Tell me this. Who said your way is the right way and who made you or them the table manner authority?

Why do people always have to get so defensive? Its a thread about table manners.... Everyone relax LOL!

 

[goofy!]

I believe you guys that it is an official rule of etiquette. I just think it is a curious one, and I don't get the logic in why it would ever have become a rule. It sounds like one of those rules that someone made up long ago and some group of aristocrats said, "Yes, let's make that a rule so that we can distinguish those who are not properly trained in dining from those of us who are ." Yeah, if you were in etiquette class I can see why it would bug you; someone is breaking a rule. But if you're just casually eating at home or out with family or friends .

Whereas eating with one's mouth open, talking with food in one's mouth, eating noisily, burping, blowing your nose, double dipping, being rude to the waitstaff, slurping soup, being a cheap tipper, using your phone the whole time, reaching right in front of someone's face - those are obviously offensive, embarrassing, or just plain gross and make the dining experience uncomfortable for everyone else. I'm not sure how the bread thing can be more offensive.

So is there something inherently wrong with buttering the bread/roll? Is it watching the person make it, or watching them eat it? Don't you eat sandwiches anyway, or are sandwiches themselves gross to you? The latter would make this make more sense to me.

Funny thing - as I mentioned before, my parents were European and very European manners maniacs.

Everything was eaten with a fork and knife, including sandwiches. Although, they were usually served open faced. It was hysterical to watch my mother eat an apple with the fork in it, peeling it with her knife and then slicing it and eating it with her fork. Food was rarely a finger food. I still cannot eat french fries off my plate without a fork. It was drilled into my head that fries were only finger food when they were served in a bag while you were walking around. Never at the table.

Thank goodness they became much more Americanized as I grew older (around 8) and we could munch on an apple with our fingers or eat a sandwich with, oh the horrors, two pieces of bread and our fingers.

Edited to add: I am in my mid 50's, so this was way back when. I am glad to report that even some of my very proper European relatives have relaxed a bit. Real sandwiches are common in our family, etc.

 

[aimyourarrowshigh]

Bad table manners I've seen? I know someone who has no problem passing gas at the dining table.

 

[MIGrandma]

Bad table manners I've seen? I know someone who has no problem passing gas at the dining table.

Now that definitely is bad table manners!!

 

[Tozzie]

I am just amazed that so many people watch how others are eating, I don't mean the nose blowing, open mouth chewing I mean, I never watch how someone eats a roll, or what hand their utelnsils are in or if they cut up all their meat before they eat it. I guess I pay attention to my own plate and worry about my own food and I look at a person when I am talking to them not if their meat is cut up on their plate.

 

[TinkerBelled]

I am just amazed that so many people watch how others are eating, I don't mean the nose blowing, open mouth chewing I mean, I never watch how someone eats a roll, or what hand their utelnsils are in or if they cut up all their meat before they eat it. I guess I pay attention to my own plate and worry about my own food and I look at a person when I am talking to them not if their meat is cut up on their plate.

Yes, generally, don't be gross is a pretty good hallmark for getting along at the table. (Followed closely by don't be rude.)

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Once again, you don't rip it all into small piece first! First take a pat of butter from the butter dish and place it on the your bread plate, you tear a SINGLE bite leaving the rest of the bread/roll whole, smear the single bite with a dab of butter, consume the bite by placing the bite inside your mouth. Tear another small bite, smear with a dab of butter, place the bite in the mouth. Gnawing on a whole smeared slice of bread is so crass. Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking. Lip licking is poor table manners. Yes a sandwich is similar, but then again a sandwich is a casual meal and would never be served at a formal dinner.

What other food would you put the whole portion to your lips, gnaw off a section, then place the bitten food item back on the plate?

Call me crass baby AND I've taken etiquette classes and was never taught that!!

 

[goofy!]

My pet peeve, and I know it is ridiculous, but it just bothers me is when people hold their utensils improperly while cutting. I have been out to business dinners and it just astounds me the number of grown adults who still hold their forks in a fist as if they are stabbing their meat. You would think that while out at a business dinner, amongst your colleagues and customers, that you would at least hold your fork properly. And funny, it only bothers me in a business or formal setting. At a barbecue, heck do what you want.

 

[akhenaten]

Those are not items that one would typically have in a formal dining establishment, unless of course you think Applebees is a formal dining establishmet.

Yes, apples and watermelon may be included in a fruit salad, but I have never seen a whole apple or watermelon served to me in a white table cloth restaurant.I would not consume hot dogs and hamburgers (or any sandwich) at a formal restaurant.

I use the white tablecloth to wipe my mouth... is that wrong? I though it was a big napkin...

 

[mjkacmom]

Your manners aren't that great if you feel the need to take shots at someone who disagrees with YOUR version of table manners. Tell me this. Who said your way is the right way and who made you or them the table manner authority?

The proper way to eat a roll has existed way before my time, the same with the many other proper ways to do things at the table. I also didn't create the proper way to hold a fork and knife, but that certainly exists, as well. I will pass these things on to my children, the same way my parents taught me.

Just because you never learned how to eat a roll at the table doesn't mean that others haven't learned.

 

[brunette8706]

My pet peeve, and I know it is ridiculous, but it just bothers me is when people hold their utensils improperly while cutting. I have been out to business dinners and it just astounds me the number of grown adults who still hold their forks in a fist as if they are stabbing their meat. You would think that while out at a business dinner, amongst your colleagues and customers, that you would at least hold your fork properly. And funny, it only bothers me in a business or formal setting. At a barbecue, heck do what you want.

*
You must have read my post a few back! This is my pet peeve also! lol

 

[Carrie_Cat]

We don't butter bread to eat with our meals. There is a bread basket but it's there to be eaten with certain foods - pâté and cheese comes to mind

You don't cut salad with your knife or push food with your knife that's also what the bread is there for.

You never cut the bread with your knife, you seperate it with your hands

Hamburgers and pizza is always eaten with a knife and fork as are club sandwiches and the like.
But baguette sandwiches are eaten held in the hand and posed again between mouthfuls.

Hand are always above the table never in your lap

And so on and so on

Things I can't do with are burping, farting, people talking and chewing at the same time and those who throw themselves at their plates as if it was their last meal

 

[goofy!]

Call me crass baby AND I've taken etiquette classes and was never taught that!!

From the Etiquette For Dummies book:

Don't butter an entire slice or roll at once. And don't butter your bread in the air above your plate! Break off one piece, butter it over the plate, and then eat it. If it's a crunchy hard roll, keep it as close to your bread plate as possible. And you can relax - it's not the end of the world if a few bread crumbs get on the table.

(Faux Pas)
Dipping, dunking or wiping sauces with your bread isn't polite, unless in the most informal gatherings or with certain dishes that are designed to do just that - such as fondues, certain au jus dishes, and olive oil. If you are dipping your bread into a communal sauce, never double dip!

So, it is considered "proper" etiquette by most, if not all etiquette experts. But as others have said, things are more relaxed in certain regions. It is a good thing to know though if you are out with business associates and your potential new boss is a manners aficionado.

 

[goofy!]

You don't cut salad with your knife or push food with your knife that's also what the bread is there for.

You never cut the bread with your knife, you seperate it with your hands

Hamburgers and pizza is always eaten with a knife and fork as are club sandwiches and the like.

But baguette sandwiches are eaten held in the hand and posed again between mouthfuls.

Hand are always above the table never in your lap

Mom, is that you?

My mother nannied for a VERY proper family in Paris while attending the Sorbonne, so alas, those French manners were passed down to us. Although they were not that different from her own European country. So, between the proper Dutch grandmother and my Dutch/French mannered mother, my brother and I were doomed

I still think I am going to hell if I pick up a piece of bacon with my fingers. Have you ever tried to eat crispy bacon with a fork? There are times for "proper" manners and times when they are ridiculous!

 

[KristaTX]

I use the white tablecloth to wipe my mouth... is that wrong? I though it was a big napkin...

 

[Carrie_Cat]

Mom, is that you?

My mother nannied for a VERY proper family in Paris while attending the Sorbonne, so alas, those French manners were passed down to us. Although they were not that different from her own European country. So, between the proper Dutch grandmother and my Dutch/French mannered mother, my brother and I were doomed

I still think I am going to hell if I pick up a piece of bacon with my fingers. Have you ever tried to eat crispy bacon with a fork? There are times for "proper" manners and times when they are ridiculous!

I was also a nanny here at first and that's where I got a top up and the Continental twist on what my English grandmother drummed into us

The rare times I get real bacon ie English style I eat it with a knife and fork as it's grilled. The French don't do bacon and the American sort is normally crumbled on salads. Stops the shattering

 

[kaytieeldr]

Well, la-dee-frickin'-da....

Gnawing? Crass? Seriously?

I rarely agree with the poster you quoted, but - THIS response was necessary? Really?

 

[kaytieeldr]

I don't see where the OP said "in fine dining establishments and at formal meals."

I just think the bread thing is an odd first choice pet peeve.

All due respect, I think criticizing posters' pet peeves in this topic because one isn't familiar with a particular rule of etiquette, or thinks it's silly, is unreasonable.

Yes, I'm aware this is a public forum and once you put something out there yadda yadda yadda... but judging the annoyances really isn't necessary, is it?