Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[Mrs. The King]

to you and Erin. You're a great friend for just being there for her.

Thank you

Great Update

I feel like I typed that. Oh that's right, I did!

I've fallen pretty far behind on TRs the past couple weeks, so please accept these belatedly: You are a good, good friend.



I don't know, but I can say that it's a learned skill. I definitely did NOT have it when I first moved down some 20 years ago, but boy oh boy do I have it now!

Behind is where my report belongs. Thank you for your prayers! And I knew you Floridians had it in for us.

Oh. My. Sweet. Goodness. How is it possible that I just now found this trip report? I loved your first one. Your other trip report was actually one of the first I had read, after joining the DIS.

You have such a wonderful writing style. Whether knocking me out of my chair laughing, or bringing me to tears. Both have happened several times in this report.

I am thrilled you found me and quite honored to be your first trip report. I am even more impressed you came back for more.

Poor Mother the King

We have Mini Golf on our list for August. We would have tried it this year but I was leary of giving a 4 year old a weapon

4 year olds with weapons are never a good thing

You made me cry again. This time because I was laughing so hard. Your mom called the internet police on you

You are too funny. Thanks for the laugh.


Laura

Sure Laura. laugh away. You don't have to wear internet handcuffs.

It types?!

What types?

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Mrs. The King, I adore and love your TR's, but I have to say this:

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting in BIG FONTS!!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Mrs. The King, I adore and love your TR's, but I have to say this:

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting in BIG FONTS!!

You are Welcome!!

 

[Goofyluver]

Dude...you gave your *** a voice.

I'm a speech therapist...and there's only so much I can do with my skillz. And that ain't one of them.



For the record...if I gave my *** a voice...it would probably say:

"I should not be used as a weapon against your child. And quit trying to stuff me into size 4's...you haven't been a size 4 since you were 4."

 

[Baloo]

She logs in, plugs her web cam into her coffee maker and things fall apart from there.

OY! Now that made me snort!


I think I need to go to bed because I'm delirious...I swear the Jiggler had some things to say tonight.

 

[askelton]

You're mom sounds like my mom; without the funny.

 

[MommyPoppins]

lol great update. I was thinking mini golf would be a great activity when we go over Christmas. Sounds like fun.


I can't believe your Mom has been reporting your posts. LOL!

 

[Laneychris]

Great report!

 

[burly]

Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha I love you two.

 

[PrincessV]

~”Well, I press the little red triangle with the exclamation point, type my reply, and send it off. It always “Thank you Mother The King, for reporting this post”

NOOOO?!?!?! I'm sorry Deb - this is destined for the annals of DIS history!

Note to the Jiggler: that was two n's. I was not giving you props. TFI.

 

[praisehisname]

NOOOO?!?!?! I'm sorry Deb - this is destined for the annals of DIS history!

Note to the Jiggler: that was two n's. I was not giving you props. TFI.

I was so ready to quote this and make a funny joke, but then I saw the PS... Still funny, though!

Denise

 

[Mrs. The King]

Dude...you gave your *** a voice.

I'm a speech therapist...and there's only so much I can do with my skillz. And that ain't one of them.



For the record...if I gave my *** a voice...it would probably say:

"I should not be used as a weapon against your child. And quit trying to stuff me into size 4's...you haven't been a size 4 since you were 4."

What ***? I am confused. But I love the voice on yours.

OY! Now that made me snort!


I think I need to go to bed because I'm delirious...I swear the Jiggler had some things to say tonight.

Sorry. I had chili.

You're mom sounds like my mom; without the funny.

My condolences Only Kidding Mom!!! Don't call in the Swat team!!

lol great update. I was thinking mini golf would be a great activity when we go over Christmas. Sounds like fun.


I can't believe your Mom has been reporting your posts. LOL!

Believe it. I am thrilled I still have an active account!

Great report!

Thank you!

Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha I love you two.

We love you back!

NOOOO?!?!?! I'm sorry Deb - this is destined for the annals of DIS history!

Note to the Jiggler: that was two n's. I was not giving you props. TFI.

Thanks. Great.

I love props. I dance for props.

I was so ready to quote this and make a funny joke, but then I saw the PS... Still funny, though!

Denise

 

[ZZUB]

Now Mother the King has made this complaint a lot recently. But just like the cell phone difficulties from my first trip report, I take all of Mom’s electronic efforts with a grain of salt. We have been trying to talk on Skype using web cams for months. She logs in, plugs her web cam into her coffee maker and things fall apart from there. She is on, I think, her third webcam. The last ill-fated one actually exploded it’s own lens to end it’s own suffering. Before we figured out the glass was shattered, we tried to pretend that the images the shattered cam were broadcasting were normal. It is fun to explain to the kids that Grandma and Grandpa live in complete darkness, except for their eyes which light up like creepy owl eyes.

Anyhow, back to the mystery of Mother’s loving replies to support her daughter’s effort.

She and I both log into The Dis as her, from our separate computers. We find my Trip report. I ask her to explain what she does.

~”Well, I press the little red triangle with the exclamation point, type my reply, and send it off. It always “Thank you Mother The King, for reporting this post”

Me~ Mom, you have been reporting me to the moderators. Over and over and over.”

I don't care if this has nothing to do with Disney World. This is one of the FUNNIEST freakin things I've read. How funny is your mom reporting you? That kills me DED!

Good show, MTK.

 

[TarzansKat]

You know what?

Just when I think that I've reached the epitome of humor...toilet, or otherwise...

you go and bring out the funny! And not just the little chuckle funny. The full on snort laughing funny.

Why is that you are so apt to inspire bodily functions in others?

It's the JIGGLER, I know it!!!!

 

[linmc1129]

I was thinking it might be fun to do miniature golf at Disney. I'm glad y'all had fun. The only problem I see now is we have 5 in our party. Maybe my MIL will need a break that day. Great update!

 

[lazydoxy66]

Ok, now I have to add time for miniature golf the next time DH and I go.

Gotta love your mom. Sounds like my Granny, God rest her soul. She never did understand why you shouldn't put aluminum foil in the microwave. I give your mom kudos for trying!

 

[askelton]

She never did understand why you shouldn't put aluminum foil in the microwave.

 

[Mrs. The King]

You know, some days are more interesting than others. Last night, Mr. The King took the kids outside to play. I was commencing the rigmarole that it takes to get my family ready for a weekday. Lunches, ironing, folders
signed.

Lots of stuff.

My telephone rings. I glance at the caller id. The number calling me has an area code of “000”. Now this perks my interest. Because as far as I know the “000” area code does not exist. But here it is, calling me. Maybe the call is originating in the Bermuda triangle. Maybe they installed a phone in Area 51 next to the black mailbox.

My curiosity gets the best of me.

Me (somewhat timidly)~”Hello?”
Expecting the high pitched squeal of an alien , or the deep timbre of a pirate swirling in the lost waters in Bermuda.

I get:

Mother the King ~”Hello” She says it in a real chipper, nothing is wrong kind of voice.
Me~”Mom?! Where are you calling me from?!”
~”My computer!”
Her voice resonates with an electronic echo. I am perplexed.
Me~”How in God’s name did you manage that?”
giggles~”I don’t know!”
Our conversation is interrupted by the beep of call waiting on my phone. I tell my mother to hold on. I am picturing her all Max Headroom stuck in her laptop.

I glance at my phone’s display. Showing, like nothing could ever be more normal, is my mother’s home phone number.
I am not sure what to do. So I answer it.
Me~ ”Hello?!”
~ “Hello!” She is all happy.
Me ~ “Mom?”
~” It’s me!”
Me~ ”Holy Matrimony. How are you doing this?”
~”I am not sure.”

The best part is she does not care. She is not the least bit interested how she has somehow bridged the time space continuum and called me from two places at once, one of the places not actually a phone to start with.
She wants to talk to the grandkids and is frustrated that I am having trouble comprehending the impossibilities I have been presented with. In her mind, she is on the phone and I am wasting grandchild time with my slack jawed amazement.



I was reading an advertisement for the Disney parks recently when I noticed something surprising. For the past handful of years Disney has had a theme that they center on. It might have started with the 50th anniversary doodad. There is themed signage, commercials are set to carefully orchestrated music that is designed to make your eye tear up. There was the sleepy kids talking smack about meeting Mickey. Then they had The Happiest Celebration on Earth, rolling right into the Year of a Million Dreams. Gosh, it sounds so majestic. A million dreams! That is so very many.

You could see the progression in there marketing. Good, Better, Best. A matter of fact, Disney can actually force 2007 and 2008 into 2006. Our year of a Million dreams has been stretched to fit three years. So I am wondering has there been 3 million Dreams? Or are we still on that first million? I loved the advertising campaign for the Million Years, with the high budget horses clattering down a silky wet boulevard to pick up two wide eyed children whose parents found that they could count to 1,500 on the internet.

It is heart pounding wonderfulness. You can taste Disney on the tip of your tongue after viewing the commercial.

But this year. This year something is up. Instead of upgrading The Year of a Million Dreams to “Your Vacation with Disney will give you wings like Tinkerbell and a Million Dollars”, we get the very low end “Get in free on your Birthday”. It reminds me of the free watered down, sneezed on Happy Ending Sundae at Friendly’s after a kid’s meal on your birthday. I think there should be something more special at Disney for something as important as the day your mother worked so hard for.

Maybe they should have a “Year of Mickey Pooping Gold”. If it is your birthday you could get a piece of cheese and a nice size fishing net, to increase your chance of scoring a nugget.


Either way. The Kings were ready for their next day in Disney. We had a reasonable morning in Epcot. Epcot is Mr. The King’s favorite park. Actually, it is probably the kids favorite park as well. They love Innoventions. PS also is crazy about the characters. I dressed her up in her custom Donald Duck outfit. Because I was pretty sure we would see him at the Character Connections. Last time we were there I danced with Donald. He was one hell of a dancer too.

So we parked. In the cast parking. Illegally. This is right up my ally, but Mr. The King likes to follow the rules and the signs. This was a flouting. But Grandpa, who is also a rule follower, had suggested it. Which was very confusing. It was like getting handed a box of doughnuts from your weight watchers consultant. So we got out, slapped up the sun reflectors in the van and marched towards the ball.

We got our free two strollers. First up, we headed to the free soda samples. Who doesn’t think of adorable Utah mama here? We try all the flavors. Turns out regular Coke is better than any of the slop they serve up in other countries. We motor on, I want to get to the character connection to match Donald up with PS’s outfit. It is hot outside in Epcot. And it is crowded. But it is amazing. The music swells. The large expanse of sidewalk leading you to endless possibilities of fun. It is like the first few bites of a meal when you are really hungry. You have to slow down and remember to taste it.
We get in line for the characters. Though we had an excellent selection of fuzzy things, there was no Donald. Sure Chip and Dale were there.

But that outfit was at Pop. And now needed to be cleaned. Mickey, Minnie, Pluto and Goofy rounded out the crew. Oh, well. Maybe late today we will score the Duck.

Next up was PC’s dream. Last few trips to Disney, PC fell in love with a game played in Innoventions. There were three players, each handed a long stick with what looked like a dinner plate on the bottom. The teams would distribute products by sliding the plates around. And there were trucks. And PC loves anything with wheels. And anything that flies. And anything you drive, in general.

Flashback: PC was just a little guy maybe 10 months old. We lived on farmland. Which happened to be on the path of an Air Base. So we had heavy traffic of spectacular planes and helicopters. As soon as I noticed how much he loved to look at the planes, I started a crazy tradition. Whenever we heard a plane or helicopter coming, we busted out of the house to look at it. We would point and wave. No matter what we were wearing. If we were in pajamas, we were in pajamas. By the time he could walk , he knew the drill. We would run at each other in the house, I would scoop him up and we would rush outside. And we would watch until it was gone. I remember one day, folding laundry, staring out at the beautiful farmland, when I noticed something in the air. It was so quiet. I squinted my eyes until my head could believe what it was seeing. I ran to him and scooped him up. PC being practical even then, looked at me suspiciously. He had not heard any plane. I pointed out to him A BLIMP!

Amazing. We clapped our hands and danced around. The farmland we lived on was always so desolate during the day, so we were free to behave like wackos when we were excited. The huge, slow moving Blimp was in the distance, and obviously not headed towards us. But we could still see it. I was teaching him to say the word blimp while his delighted eyes followed its progress. I kept looking back at it. Sure enough, it started to change course. It was headed right for us!! As we watched, it dropped lower in the sky and floated right over our heads. It was like seeing a whale swim over you. It was so immense. We were shaded from the sun by its bulk for a little while. The blimp turned again and resumed its original path. I was so grateful to the pilots for giving a pj wearing mom and her dancing baby such a treat. My eyes filled with tears at their kindness. I loved that moment.
End flashback!

So when we walked into Innovations to see it had become Renovations we were worried. PC was so disappointed he would not play his game. We walked around and stumbled on a different game. There was a huge Waste Management Garbage truck, so PC was willing to give it a shot.
Let me just tell you. This garbage truck game was awesome! It totally took the place as PC’s favorite game of all time. Each team gets a kid’s sized garbage truck to push around. At each station there is interactive games that teach about recycling.

It rocked. We found our way there many times. I think we played it about 5 times. I highly recommend this cute game. It had a short wait every time, although the park was packed.

It was getting time to move on. We had our dinner plans for O’Hana that evening. We found a family to bestow our naked strollers on. (We did this every time we could, I was happiest when we found kids that were on the cusp of not using a stroller, so the family didn’t have to make the decision to spend the money). We hopped on the monorail to head to dinner. Giant balls of flames and the Kings? I am sure that will be just fine. Fine I tell you.

Sorry everyone, I have got to go. Caller id is showing a phone call from one of the rovers on Mars. I think it's my Mom

Chapter 22 One Girl is Deflated

 

[Goofyluver]

So...lemme get this straight.

Mother the King has the ability to float in water WITHOUT movement.

You...can attract blimps.

Dude...can I be your friend?

 

[Mrs. The King]

You know what?

Just when I think that I've reached the epitome of humor...toilet, or otherwise...

you go and bring out the funny! And not just the little chuckle funny. The full on snort laughing funny.

Why is that you are so apt to inspire bodily functions in others?

It's the JIGGLER, I know it!!!!

The Jiggler takes all the credit. It's so proud of itself.

I was thinking it might be fun to do miniature golf at Disney. I'm glad y'all had fun. The only problem I see now is we have 5 in our party. Maybe my MIL will need a break that day. Great update!

You could do 3 and 2? Or off load the MIL

Ok, now I have to add time for miniature golf the next time DH and I go.

It is very cool.

Gotta love your mom. Sounds like my Granny, God rest her soul. She never did understand why you shouldn't put aluminum foil in the microwave. I give your mom kudos for trying!

Scary, right?

So...lemme get this straight.

Mother the King has the ability to float in water WITHOUT movement.

You...can attract blimps.

Dude...can I be your friend?

Sure thing. Calling a blimp like a taxi is a great skill