Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[elbow mac]

I will pray for Erin and for those who will be left behind. You are such a good friend. It reminds me again to be thankful for what I have and happy in my life. I try everyday to apprecitate all I am surrounded with- and be grateful for it all. I know this is not in the same league, but my neighbor's dog is missing from their yard- she(the dog) is a dachund, old,blind and deaf. We think a coyote or fox took her. It makes me think of my own dog- who has been on a downhill slide for a while now. I love him and the thought of losing him makes me cry. I hope that my neighbors will find their dog- she and my dog are the same age. Sorry- I just needed to vent.

 

[Goofyluver]

So what you're saying is...there are two weather trends in Florida.

Hot.

And Wet.

(NOWet t-shirtcontest)



FWIW...I break out the dancing only at times when it benefits me the most.

1. When my son is moving too slowly in the grocery store...I pop a move off that rivals Janet Jackson...first not in front of anyone...and then I threaten to do it in front of EVERYONE if Jon doesn't get a move on.

2. In front of Jon's friends at home...if he throws a "teen tude"...I don't fret. No yelling from this momma. Nope...this momma shakes what her momma gave her...just to put that boy right back in his place. It's better than yelling...trust me.

3. When I have a strawberry starburst. Just cause.


Great update Deb.

You da bomb.

 

[burly]

U brought on the funny baby! Great update.
When is the next one I'm not , i mean, really, i'll wait.............................................................................................................................................la la la la.
..........................................................................................................................No pressure.....

 

[KatGarcia]

 

[lazydoxy66]

Erin has a very good friend in you! Thanks for giving us that story of strength and courage and true friendship!


Poor jiggler!

 

[BLLB]

subbing

 

[ZZUB]

You know, it’s weird. Lately I have been developing new, annoying habits.

And we discover yet another ideal title for your Trip Report.

Ok. That was a tangent. That never happens. I am all business now.
We were delighted to find that they were showing a clip from Wall*e. Our favorite movie that Disney has decided to not put out any merchandise over. Why not? Who knows. But I do know I can buy crap for the freaking Fairy movie that they have been pimping but not releasing since 1983. Where is the Tinkerbell movie? The merchandise has been out so long you can buy fairy themed nose hair clippers at the dollar store. But the movie? That is just a pipe dream. But Wall*e, an actual movie, shown in actual movie theaters, has nada.

The rare relevant point. Why Disney is shunning Wall*e is beyond me. While we didn't like the movie as much as Cars or Toy Story, it was a pretty good movie. I can't believe they couldn't even create one Wall*e for a picture. The cut out was insulting. NOHarryReid.

Oops. Another tangent slipped out. Pardon me.

Considering the things which slip out of you, a tangent is preferable.

Yet another fun-filled chapter replete with scatological humor and snapshots of life in the King world.

 

[TarzansKat]

I love the space you take up!! But Flashbacks in yours sounds awesome!!!

There's a little sumpin' for you on my trip report.

Just sayin'.

 

[Pollito916]

I remembered your cockroach story and just found this one - off to another good start! Also, I was in LA for work a couple times this summer and saw TONS of Wall-e merchandise at the Disney Soda Fountain in Hollywood. If I knew then your trouble finding stuff, I could have sent some to you!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Deb, Your writing is beautiful! Erin is very special person. She will be in my prayers.
I will go back now to read your latest update.

BTW: I love,love HSM!!! Never seen the show at DHS though.

I suggest seeing it at night. It is one hot sucker. Thanks for praying for my girl, I appreciate it so much!

Death is not the end of our life we just move on. Just continue to be there for Erin and love her. Let her just unleash all her tears and worries on you. Listen to her be there for her. I am going to pray for a miracle. It just breaks my heart to think of her leaving her precious children.

It takes such courage to pray for a miracle. Thank you for having the guts to do it Thank you so much for sharing your stories with me.

I will pray for Erin and for those who will be left behind. You are such a good friend. It reminds me again to be thankful for what I have and happy in my life. I try everyday to apprecitate all I am surrounded with- and be grateful for it all. I know this is not in the same league, but my neighbor's dog is missing from their yard- she(the dog) is a dachund, old,blind and deaf. We think a coyote or fox took her. It makes me think of my own dog- who has been on a downhill slide for a while now. I love him and the thought of losing him makes me cry. I hope that my neighbors will find their dog- she and my dog are the same age. Sorry- I just needed to vent.

You hit the nail on the head. Being thankful for what you have. Thank you for prayers for Erin and her family.

So what you're saying is...there are two weather trends in Florida.

Hot.

And Wet.

(NOWet t-shirtcontest)



FWIW...I break out the dancing only at times when it benefits me the most.

1. When my son is moving too slowly in the grocery store...I pop a move off that rivals Janet Jackson...first not in front of anyone...and then I threaten to do it in front of EVERYONE if Jon doesn't get a move on.

2. In front of Jon's friends at home...if he throws a "teen tude"...I don't fret. No yelling from this momma. Nope...this momma shakes what her momma gave her...just to put that boy right back in his place. It's better than yelling...trust me.

3. When I have a strawberry starburst. Just cause.


Great update Deb.

You da bomb.

Rock on with your dancing self. I am sending you a boatload of strawberry starburst now!!

U brought on the funny baby! Great update.
When is the next one I'm not , i mean, really, i'll wait.............................................................................................................................................la la la la.
..........................................................................................................................No pressure.....

No pressure felt. None at all

Erin has a very good friend in you! Thanks for giving us that story of strength and courage and true friendship!


Poor jiggler!

Thanks for feeling for the Jiggler. It loves attention.

subbing

Subbing dance

The rare relevant point.

Considering the things which slip out of you, a tangent is preferable.

Yet another fun-filled chapter replete with scatological humor and snapshots of life in the King world.

Lots of my points are relevant. Especially to blonde polish mothers. I really like the words "The King World"

There's a little sumpin' for you on my trip report.

Just sayin'.

Loved my little sumpin'

I remembered your cockroach story and just found this one - off to another good start! Also, I was in LA for work a couple times this summer and saw TONS of Wall-e merchandise at the Disney Soda Fountain in Hollywood. If I knew then your trouble finding stuff, I could have sent some to you!

You mean your still having nightmares, right? If I knew you were the official Wall*e smuggler, I would have so got on that bandwagon

 

[askelton]

to you and Erin. You're a great friend for just being there for her.

 

[Mother the King]

Great Update

 

[myrsfmly]

Phew ... I am all caught up!!! You made me laugh and cry.... People in the office were beginning to stare -

I will keep Erin in my thoughts and prayers - as well as you and yours. She is fortunate and blessed to have such friends in her life.

 

[EPRV We love Disney]

I found a reference to your TR in ZZUB's (non) trip report and scooted over to give it a read. I've spent the last two days reading your TR and I wanted to say "Thanks!". I read the chapter where you relive your "auto flush" toilet experience with your daughter in the stall on my lunch break at work. I was sitting with my back to my boss, eating a tuna sandwich when I started laughing so hard I inhaled a piece of it. I was trying so hard to be quiet, but after I hacked up the piece of bread, I couldn't stop laughing. I was doing that deep, no air in lungs laugh where you're trying not to make any sound with tears running down your face and hacked up tuna sandwich on your keyboard. It was awesome. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. I loved that story and all of the subsequent chapters.
Thanks so much and my prayers to Erin.

 

[PrincessV]

I've fallen pretty far behind on TRs the past couple weeks, so please accept these belatedly: You are a good, good friend.

What makes Floridians such perfect weather people? They can stand there and point out lightening strikes like Babe Ruth calling a home run.

I don't know, but I can say that it's a learned skill. I definitely did NOT have it when I first moved down some 20 years ago, but boy oh boy do I have it now!

Is there some sort of Floridian pact where you can’t tell the outsiders what is going to hit them next?

 

[Mrs. The King]

I am a head curser. I say a lot of curses in my head. They very rarely make it out of my mouth. I am so tired tonight, but like a typical mom, I am numb to it. The only reason I know I am tired is the silly mistakes that keep popping up in my day. Ever wear two pairs of sunglasses? One on the top of your head, like a headband, and than go ahead and put another pair of your face? It doesn’t feel weird, but it sure looks weird.

Or you take a shower; remembering to put in your deep conditioner because you burnt the crap out of your hair with an ill chosen hair dye, shave the pits. Great, you are doing good. Then you get out and realize you never actually used body soap. You are toweling off and all you got in the shower was wet, not necessarily clean. Then you decide, the hell with it, I am not going back in. That sure felt like a shower, so it is going to count. I almost closed our sliding door on my head today, because I forgot to take my noggin out of the way.

Mother the King was frustrated lately. She would read a new chapter I wrote and dutifully type out a reply along the lines of “My daughter is a beautiful woman”. Nice mother type stuff. She likes me. Or so I thought.

While chit chatting on the phone, she mentioned “Did you read my reply to you?”

Me~ “No, Mom There is no reply from you. Maybe you emailed me by accident.”

Mother “This is so frustrating, I have written a reply to every chapter”

Now Mother the King has made this complaint a lot recently. But just like the cell phone difficulties from my first trip report, I take all of Mom’s electronic efforts with a grain of salt. We have been trying to talk on Skype using web cams for months. She logs in, plugs her web cam into her coffee maker and things fall apart from there. She is on, I think, her third webcam. The last ill-fated one actually exploded it’s own lens to end it’s own suffering. Before we figured out the glass was shattered, we tried to pretend that the images the shattered cam were broadcasting were normal. It is fun to explain to the kids that Grandma and Grandpa live in complete darkness, except for their eyes which light up like creepy owl eyes.

Anyhow, back to the mystery of Mother’s loving replies to support her daughter’s effort.

She and I both log into The Dis as her, from our separate computers. We find my Trip report. I ask her to explain what she does.

~”Well, I press the little red triangle with the exclamation point, type my reply, and send it off. It always “Thank you Mother The King, for reporting this post”

Me~ Mom, you have been reporting me to the moderators. Over and over and over.”

~”Oh, Good, then my replies are somewhere, do you think we could get copies?”

Me~ “MOM! It is like you are calling the cops on the internet me!! A lot!!”

~”Ooops”

And she laughed her head off. No remorse. Just giggling.

So here’s a thank you to the mods for not deleting me and blowing up my computer. I can’t promise she won’t do it again. I am sure you keep a close eye on me anyway with my spicy potty humor, but now I will really feel the spotlight. The whole thing is exhausting


Maybe if I just closed my eyes for a few minutes here in the computer chair…….


ZZZZzzz Snort, Snore, Fart. ZZZzz.


Good. She’s asleep. I thought I would never get this chance. To talk to my fans!! That’s right.
This is The Jiggler.

I know! How cool is that. No one knows I can type. And please don’t tell Mrs. The King. If she knew I was writing this she would be furious. And I think she might be crazy. Yesterday, she was making dinner and dancing around to some hip hop music, which just hurts me with all the recent droopage. And she kept shouting out words like ”Zester”. I would like to lodge a formal complaint. For 34 years I have been silent. Ok, not completely silent. Fine, I am noisy, but it is her fault. If she didn’t like soda and hot dogs I would be a whole lot more ladylike. And honestly, some of the noises she forces me to make just hurt. And what does she do? Cackle like a third grader. Sometimes she even holds door frames before making me scream like a sheep being shaved. The shame! Or worse, she will call her adorable children close to her and say things like “ Listen children, I have something important to tell you.” They listen intently with their innocent faces, and then she forces me to rip one that would make a camel cough.
And another thing. Her underwear shows no respect for me as a valued body part. Her granny panties could be mistaken for shorts.

I think I am through with her. Sure, she keeps me out of the sun. But she trots me out in the middle of a trip report that thousands of people read. My moment to shine. And all people know about me is that I like Fudge. I guess I will have to wake her up. I have her smooshed in the chair while I type this and I think she is getting a crick in her neck. And no one really want to hear a trip report typed by a butt. I spend a lot of time jammed in chairs, looking little kids in the eye , underwater and all the rides are the same to me. I did hear Zzub was trying to wager me in a bet. Please save me Zzub! I would like to belong to a country club lady who plays a lot of tennis and wears those stylish white skorts!!

I’ll give her back to all of you now…..


That was weird. Why does my neck hurt? I have such a craving for fudge. I guess I should get back to the Trip report. We met Grandma and Grandpa at Winter Summerland minigolf. At Disney. Didn’t know it existed? Neither did I. PC saw a picture and determined it was the only thing he had to do in Orlando. Personally, I thought it was a waste of Florida time. Mini golf is for home, before or after a movie. But, of course, Grandma and Grandpa seek to make his every wish come true.

So we parked in the tiny lot and stomped our way down an obscure path. Signs littered our way setting the Christmassy mode. Piped in music floated to our ears. I hate Christmas music after Christmas. Or before Christmas. It has to be Christmas officially (the day after Thanksgiving).
Well, it turns out that personal rule is happily flouted in Disney. I loved the music. We picked up our clubs. There was a rule that groups could only be four at a time. So the grandparents took the grandkids and set up ahead of us. The first shot, taken by PC was lodged in a thick bush. Their whole party spent about 75% of the time in the shrubbery. Mr. the King and I brought up the rear.

This place was spanktastic. The themeing was adorable. We had to choose Winter or Summer. We picked winter. It was the cutest, most fun mini golf we have ever played. I, of course, rocked. My ridiculous and unnecessary skill with aim and holes beat Mr. The King down. I am a sore winner too. I rub it in. Poor guy. It was sort of a date, which is a rare treat for Mr. The King and I.
Favorite holes had to be, the snowman that nailed you in the head with a stream of water from his carrot nose, the barber shop pole that took the balls and twisted them to the top and plopped them out the other side. I made Mr. the King take tons of pictures.

We finished our 18 holes and received a free clip on mini sharpie on the way out. I love free things!! And we got souvenir balls! Six souvenir balls! We had a fabulous time. It is a must do for all future trips. Though Grandpa recommends we try the Fantasia Mini Golf next time. I am so up for it. I never thought I would like not being in the parks, but Disney has so much more to offer. It was a absolutely fun. We got back to my beloved Pop and enjoyed tucking into bed.
Up Next: What ever we did next!!!


P.S. Anyone know why my Jiggler keeps seizing up? It feels like it has carpel tunnel syndrome. Weird.


Chapter 21 Time and Space Continuum

 

[ddstratton]

Oh. My. Sweet. Goodness. How is it possible that I just now found this trip report? I loved your first one. Your other trip report was actually one of the first I had read, after joining the DIS.

You have such a wonderful writing style. Whether knocking me out of my chair laughing, or bringing me to tears. Both have happened several times in this report.

 

[jcc0621]

Poor Mother the King

We have Mini Golf on our list for August. We would have tried it this year but I was leary of giving a 4 year old a weapon

 

[coteau_chick]

You made me cry again. This time because I was laughing so hard. Your mom called the internet police on you

You are too funny. Thanks for the laugh.


Laura

 

[HomeschoolMama]

It types?!