Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[mkluvsmickey]

Too funny about your House Hunters observations - does anyone really say those things when looking at a house?

I wish I could shop in "the Tents" - sounds awesome!

Great update as usual!

 

[HomeschoolMama]

I warn my kids every time we swim not to drink the "booty water."

 

[jcc0621]

I love, love, love cast connections. Unfortunately I didn't get to go there this year. We just didn't have time I am always able to get Jimmy some great sweatshirts there.

My best find ever was last year. Jimmy wanted to be Mr. Incredible for Halloween. That costume was $40 at Disney online, plus shipping and handling. I got it at CC for $12.00

Great update Deb!

 

[Goofyluver]

I'm jealous. Of the "tents". Can your mommy be my mommy???

 

[jcc0621]

I'm jealous. Of the "tents". Can your mommy be my mommy???

Didn't Deb already agree to buy the Motha off of Ebay? Maybe you can just work out a trade

 

[PrincessV]

So, today I was watching House Hunters. The Dude and his wife were checking out three separate houses. The only comment people on those shows can come up with to say about a prospective house is, “This is a nice space”.

Seriously, it should be a drinking game. Every time a couple comments on space, throw back a brewski.

I LOVE House Hunters! And I think you should add "granite" into the game. Every house/condo/villa, someone will inevitably comment on teh kitchen coutners: "Look honey, granit!" Or, "If only it had granite coutners, we'd have bought the over-priced hole in teh wall."

What I love about Disney Pools, (or Florida pools for that matter) is the water temperature.

BUT, not all Fl pools are equal. My pool, for insance, is not heated. We've actually spent the ocassional May weekend in WDW just to get into a warm pool!

Until you spot the annoying full grown adult with a pair of goggles suction cupped to their eyes.

Oooops. Sorry!

Worse yet is when they swim underwater, close to your jiggler and pop up, spitting a geyser full of water out of their mouths.

But I DON'T do that.

Didn't Deb already agree to buy the Motha off of Ebay? Maybe you can just work out a trade

 

[KatGarcia]

Well, Disney Pools are like pee without the yellow.

Priceless.

I missed our chance to go CM shopping last year, I think it's better that I don't really know what I missed.

 

[AZMickeyfans]

Great update!!

I loved the Tents! I bought everything there. I still have my umbrellas that I bought there. The handle string came unraveled and it had to be put into damaged merchandise sent to the tent. Snipped it with scissors and I got a brand new mickey umbrella that still works 15 years later for next to nothing! plush with loose strings were always a fav of mine to grab at the tent! The tent ROCKS! Ask your mom if they still have bargain basement in the bowels of the MK? That was seperate from the Tent. That might be too old school.

Poop like a starfish? We watch House Hunters too and I have to admit they do use the word Space often. I never call my house a "space". maybe I will start now. "Kids, clean up your space" "I need to vacuum the family space" I start it and see how long it takes before they put me on crazy meds.

 

[DisneyJo]

OMG I don't know what to quote

I'll never look at WDW pools the same way again

Oh wow I'd love to see the tents, they sound fantastic

 

[AZMickeyfans]

I just reread this again. HOW did I miss the part where your bowling pool got crowded because of the serial pooper? I thought it just got crowded. Oh My! POP=POOP POOLS. I'll have to send out the poop patrol on our trip.

 

[Baloo]

The Butt Jut – This stance requires the butt to stick and the legs to bend.

That's too funny and describes it perfectly!!!



I loved your description of getting into a cold pool !!! Especially this part.....

Getting the girls under is almost painful. I take to screaming like a rabid monkey. The kids plug their ears and Mr. The King rolls his eyes at me.

 

[jewjubean]

hehe what a great start to my morning...I havnt had a chance to read because of the hurricanes but your tr is better than ever! keep it coming!

 

[onestepcloser]

I don't think I've ever been quite so entertained by a trip report before. Thanks for writing out your adventure, lol! Eagerly awaiting more...

 

[lazydoxy66]

Ok, I just got caught up! Can I just say, you never cease to amaze me with the humor.
I used to be a jerk, soda jerk. No poop in my sodas! My dogs were never wimpy either. I like me some peppy wieners.
Bras were invented during the Spanish Inquisition! Their proud decendents still carry on the making of these mini iron maidens - ever heard of maidenform!???

Oh the line moments DH and I had more moments in line and just walking about than we've had in the privacy of our own home in the last 10 years. Sounds kinda dirty - I'm talkin' about the smile and the look. No words needed. No worries, no schedules, no work. We were truly happy! It felt good!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Chapter 13 Below the Crown and Above the Pearls

So today, I was in a classroom and the teacher had finally settled the kids down. What a rowdy group. But finally, they were attentive as she read a story to them. My job that day was to support the teacher. I started futzing around, just like the kids are not supposed to be doing. I started flipping my Croc on and off my foot while I was standing in the back of the room. I guess my foot was a little sweaty. I wound up pressing the middle of my foot down on top of the heel divot. I had unexpectedly created an unusually strong suction cementing the Croc to the middle of my foot.

Now, this is a dilemma because I know when I break the suction there will be a large fart noise. My trapped foot starts to throb. It feels like a dinosaur is giving my foot a hickie. Who knew this could happen? I slipped my other foot out and used my big toe to release the seal. Thwarp!
Well that was new. The kindergarteners bust into a fit of giggles.
I tried to disappear in my own mind. I casually reached to itch the middle of my back, I wound up unlatching my bra. My eyes pop out of my head.

Ultimately, instead of supporting the teacher, I became the farting braless distraction in the back of the room. I am not even supporting the girls, never mind the unlucky teacher.

After the kids had left and I had discreetly gathered the troops, I tried to explain what happened. It just sounded like a lame excuse for ripping a massive fart. Until I showed her the hickie on the bottom of my foot.

So back to Disney. We had readied ourselves and took the long walk to the van. Our Table service meal was, of course, All you Care to Eat. Or as we interpret it, Fill yourself so your last bite knocks on the back of your teeth.

Clog the toilet and impress the Janitors with the ferocity of your power.

Seatbelt yourself to the potty to restrain yourself from popping off when you release the dogs.

So, we went to the Super Classy Animal Kingdom Lodge, where I am sure we fit in like cats in the middle of a pack of wolves.

Grandma and Grandpa had dined at Boma before. They were thrilled it was on the schedule, feeling that we would enjoy it. I looked at my son, the little Carnivore. Here is his dream. Meat, meat and more meat. He didn’t actually have to eat anything else if he did not want to.

We enter the beautiful AKL. Stunning. There is too much to look at. I want to grab the kids’ hands and show them every little detail. We sign in and receive a pager. Soon, it goes off. We are lead to our table.

The server could not be any nicer. We tromp off to get some grub. This is unlike any buffet I have ever seen. It is all so tempting. Food I would never touch is getting loaded on my plate like my hands don’t recognize my head’s complaining about trying new foods.

I am loading a plate for PS, who really subsists mostly on noodles and butter. One of the chefs in the back asks me if he can make anything special for her. I order white rice with butter. He smiles and says, give me a few minutes, I will find you.

For a minute I was having a Last of the Mohegains moment. Daniel Day Lewis is dressed in a loincloth holding a bowl of white rice “I WILL FIND YOU!”

I nod and smile. It wasn’t until I turned around that I realized the enormity of his promise. The restaurant covered at least 14 acres filled with humans. Just from where I was standing I could see five woman who looked exactly like me. One had her Croc suction cupped to her forehead while she unlatched her bra.

The other me was marching to the restrooms carrying her own plunger. I shook my head and turned back to the chef, determined to give him directions to our table.

But like a ghost he was gone.

I grabbed a handful of hard flat bread the size of poster board. I made my way back to the table. One of the “me” ladies gave me a dirty look when I poked her in the Jiggler with my surfboard sized bread.

They had placed the actual me and my family in the tippy corner by the check in desk. I could actually reach out and pinch the butt of the Maître de, and point my finger at Mr. The King when he turned around.

Not that I would do that. The authentic Jiggler was placed in the corner like a red hot radiator. People warning small children not to get too close.
I look at my little carnivore. Gone is the look of a conquering hearo. PC has pushed his meat away and claimed to be “not hungry”. This never happens. The child is always hungry. Even when he has the flu, he will pack it down, even though he knows it will come right back up.

I start to hack into the mattress of bread with my teeth.

I hear “Rice for the Princess”
I look up shocked.

Daniel Chef Lewis HAS found us!

We thanked him. After many trips back to the Original Buffet, It was dessert time. PC started to perk up at the idea of some sugar. We all filled our plates with mounds of delicious looking delights. Mr. The King suggested the Zebra Domes.

Apparently, they are beyond yummy as he has learned in his Boma research here on The Dis. We returned to our butt pinching corner table. All you could hear was lip smacking, slurping and munching.

Then we started to eat. PC proclaimed “The Zebra Balls are the best!” Grandma who never lets a dead horse die, proceeded to comment on the Zebra Balls all night long, while we all chuckled like seventh graders.
What a successful meal. PC had managed to eat a little dessert and I was able to pound down four Zebra Balls. Yummo, as my best friend Rachael Ray would say.

Sloshing away from a Buffet is a disgusting feeling, isn’t it? I remember when Grandma :darth and Grandpa took us to one of their favorite quick eating restaurant, Cici’s. We were treated to Pizza, bread knots, apple crumble, and brownies. Grandma asked how we liked in as we all rolled, bloated to the van.

The only words I could think of to describe the experience were “That sure was a lot of ….dough.”

I wound up ruining that restaurant for them after that observation. (sorry Mom and Dad)

We had to explore the AKL some more. Grandma and Grandpa showed us to all the sneaky balconies. The kids were charmed by Real Zebra’s, goats with some sort of special curly cue horns,

and pelicans (which is what I call any bird that is not a duck or a robin).

It started to rain as we sludged inside.
Grandpa had to turn in for the evening after letting us into the Animal Kingdom(working is tiring). Grandma joined us for the Extra Magic Hours in AK.

We snagged the free stroller on our way in. I have a love/hate relationship with Animal Kingdom. I find it very, very sunny there. And extraordinarily humid and hot. Which is insane. In Florida. In July. I was told once that the Animal Kingdom was designed to be more hot and humid to better support the wildlife. And that is fine, but all my Animal Kingdom memories seem to be shrouded in the heat. Almost like I wonder the grounds with a fever, while my feet are on fire. So we were looking forward to our first late night trip into Animal Kingdom.

It was night. But it was still stinking hot and humid. As we walked in the park, there was a poorly designed wrist band delivery system. They had ten people handing them out, but they stood in a line and only the first guys was applying the bracelets.

Full up on Zebra balls , I was not interested in waiting for the incompetence. Which was surprising to everyone in my party. Grandma had even hoodwinked the last guy in line to give us the bracelets with no wait, but I stomped on. I can’t figure out why I did that now? Maybe the Boma food was turning on me. We were approached a little further in
Happy Cast Member ~ “Can I see your bracelets?”

Actually. You can’t. Because we have not gotten them yet.

Next: What happens when Mrs. The King balks at the established Disney bracelet applying stations.


Chapter 14 Bar Brawls and Croc Hunts

 

[Goofyluver]

Ewwww. Disgusto. I think the zebra balls taste like dirt. And G-luv doesn't like dirty tasting zebra balls.

 

[scottny]

your tr makes me crack up every time I read it.

thanks for posting.

 

[winkers]

I've never contemplated dinosaur hickeys before!

 

[Mrs. The King]

I know the crotch crab!! great update Deb!! funny about grandma floating and kicking every 7 minutes!!

Well tell that Crab I said hi! Grandma really does it too.

great funny update.

Thank you for reading!

The mental image of that is too much!!

There's just too much to quote in that update that was hilarious! The thought of a be-goggled adult getting a full view of me in the crouch position!
I hadn't thought of it before, but you're right. Florida swimming pools feel like pee spots!

I love wipeout too! The big balls are my favorite!

Big Balls! I can't believe I find this show and three episodes later the season ends!

Too funny about your House Hunters observations - does anyone really say those things when looking at a house?

I wish I could shop in "the Tents" - sounds awesome!

Great update as usual!

The tents rock. They should have a webcam from those things! The House Hunter people are getting more annoying.

I love, love, love cast connections. Unfortunately I didn't get to go there this year. We just didn't have time I am always able to get Jimmy some great sweatshirts there.

My best find ever was last year. Jimmy wanted to be Mr. Incredible for Halloween. That costume was $40 at Disney online, plus shipping and handling. I got it at CC for $12.00

Great update Deb!

Don't you Jones for that place. Seriously it is heaven!

I'm jealous. Of the "tents". Can your mommy be my mommy???

Absolutely. She is not high maintenance either

Didn't Deb already agree to buy the Motha off of Ebay? Maybe you can just work out a trade

Trade. Hmm. I would have to get Motha a job a Disney. Does she like dressing up as a chipmunk?

 

[Mrs. The King]

I LOVE House Hunters! And I think you should add "granite" into the game. Every house/condo/villa, someone will inevitably comment on teh kitchen coutners: "Look honey, granit!" Or, "If only it had granite coutners, we'd have bought the over-priced hole in teh wall."


BUT, not all Fl pools are equal. My pool, for insance, is not heated. We've actually spent the ocassional May weekend in WDW just to get into a warm pool!

Granite! Yes people are always impressed with that.

Priceless.

I missed our chance to go CM shopping last year, I think it's better that I don't really know what I missed.

It is better that way

Great update!!

I loved the Tents! I bought everything there. I still have my umbrellas that I bought there. The handle string came unraveled and it had to be put into damaged merchandise sent to the tent. Snipped it with scissors and I got a brand new mickey umbrella that still works 15 years later for next to nothing! plush with loose strings were always a fav of mine to grab at the tent! The tent ROCKS! Ask your mom if they still have bargain basement in the bowels of the MK? That was seperate from the Tent. That might be too old school.

Poop like a starfish? We watch House Hunters too and I have to admit they do use the word Space often. I never call my house a "space". maybe I will start now. "Kids, clean up your space" "I need to vacuum the family space" I start it and see how long it takes before they put me on crazy meds.

I will have to ask Mom about the Bargain basement! Space, that's right let's get fancy with it!

OMG I don't know what to quote

I'll never look at WDW pools the same way again

Oh wow I'd love to see the tents, they sound fantastic

Sorry, I ruined the pools for you The tents are too fun!

I just reread this again. HOW did I miss the part where your bowling pool got crowded because of the serial pooper? I thought it just got crowded. Oh My! POP=POOP POOLS. I'll have to send out the poop patrol on our trip.

That is a great job!

That's too funny and describes it perfectly!!!



I loved your description of getting into a cold pool !!! Especially this part.....

Cold pools hurt. Hard.

hehe what a great start to my morning...I havnt had a chance to read because of the hurricanes but your tr is better than ever! keep it coming!

That annoying hurricane is just a trouble maker. I hope everything is ok at your place

I don't think I've ever been quite so entertained by a trip report before. Thanks for writing out your adventure, lol! Eagerly awaiting more...

Hi, Onestep. I like your sense of humor if this craziness entertains you

Ok, I just got caught up! Can I just say, you never cease to amaze me with the humor.
I used to be a jerk, soda jerk. No poop in my sodas! My dogs were never wimpy either. I like me some peppy wieners.
Bras were invented during the Spanish Inquisition! Their proud decendents still carry on the making of these mini iron maidens - ever heard of maidenform!???

Oh the line moments DH and I had more moments in line and just walking about than we've had in the privacy of our own home in the last 10 years. Sounds kinda dirty - I'm talkin' about the smile and the look. No words needed. No worries, no schedules, no work. We were truly happy! It felt good!

Love you sweet romance story!

Ewwww. Disgusto. I think the zebra balls taste like dirt. And G-luv doesn't like dirty tasting zebra balls.

Well Jen, the kids were calling them balls, but they are known as domes. So if you were requesting balls, maybe the staff was too accommodating

your tr makes me crack up every time I read it.

thanks for posting.

I am so glad scott!!

I've never contemplated dinosaur hickeys before!

Keep telling yourself that winkers