I know you thought I forgot about all of you, but I didn't - honest. First off, I love all of you SO MUCH!!!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! You are wonderful people to continue to check in and let me know you are thinking of me when I am unable to find the time to get on here to post. I appreciate your continued interest in what's going on with me and your support means the world to me, truly it does!
Linda: I am glad your friend doesn't have celiac, but I am wondering if she might have food allergies or intolerances of some sort that are making her ill. She might benefit from an elimination diet, which helps you to see how you react to foods by cutting them out of your diet for a period of time and then adding them back to check for symptoms. I don't know the details, but you can look up information on the internet to see how it's done. Might be worth looking into.
Beth: Thanks for the Tofutti suggestion - I tried it, and it was okay (better than Rice Dream), but I still didn't care for it all that much. I guess I'm just an ice cream purist!! That's okay, I need to leave it alone anyway, but thank you for the suggestion. Most of the time I am content with popsicles, so I just need to stick with those all the time. And the only website I have seen of the ones you listed is the living without one, so I am definitely going to check out the others - thanks again for thinking of me!!
My life has been so crazy lately that I am beginning to wonder how long I can keep up this pace. I guess I don't really have a choice, but I think they finally realized if they didn't give me a break here at work soon they would be sending flowers to my funeral!! (And then somebody else would have to do their neverending filing and incessant paperwork.) The exhaustion has been overwhelming - I haven't cooked a meal at home in almost a week now, I just can't summon the energy needed to do it. Fortunately, my family is understanding - they just fend for themselves - but it's not good because the choices they make if I don't prepare the meals are not the healthiest (they tend to choose junk food or take out, neither of which is the best option) and you can only eat Chinese so many times before you're sick of it. Today has been the slowest day I've had in several weeks (so far, knock on wood), so I am hoping I can make a decent meal tonight and enjoy some family dinner time - that's important to me!
I went to my doctor's visit on April 7 and, for those of you following my health saga, here are the details:
My thyroid tests had numbers that she termed "okay" - she would prefer they be a little higher than they are, but they aren't low enough for me to have to take medication. So my thyroid functioning is not optimal, but it's not bad enough to treat it. I told her that I am frustrated at how much illness I've had since the first of the year - the flu, two sinus infections, and two nasty stomach bugs that have left me with ongoing stomach issues. She reminded me that I am not completely recovered from the celiac damage yet. As she put it, "Remember, Susan, you are better but you are not well yet." And since I still have some malabsorption issues, I am not able to fully benefit from what I eat yet so I am still deficient in some vitamins and minerals. She recommended a particular kind of multi-vitamin that is more easily absorbed, and said she felt this would help, but in truth it will just take time for my immune system to recover enough to fight off the germies we all encounter every day. She also said that since I had to take two courses of antibiotics to fight the two sinus infections, that killed off the good bacteria in my gut as well as the bad and that's probably why my stomach is still bothering me. So I need to take probiotics to correct that. She also suspects that the systemic yeast problem is back, so I need Nystatin to kill the yeast off and reduce my cravings for sugar and carbs. This is going to sound bad, but I haven't been to get all the supplements and medications yet - I just haven't had time!! But I will as soon as I can to try to address some of these issues and feel a little better!
I must admit that in talking with her, I realized that my health is still more fragile than I would like to admit. I am so impatient to have more energy and feel well that whenever I get any glimmer of improvement, I immediately take off trying to get everything done that I need to do without thinking about what toll it is taking on my poor battered system. So I started thinking long-term, and realized that it probably isn't the the best idea to try to work a full-time job, go to school full-time and try to do the other things I have to do with my system still trying to recover and regenerate. As much as I want to make a new career happen, I don't want to kill myself in the process. Even doing school part-time would be too much when I have weeks where work is like it has been over the last couple of months (plus it would take FOREVER to graduate that way). So I have decided to put my educational plans on hold for another year. Hopefully that extra year will give me the time I need to recuperate more fully and not be behind the eight ball when I take on the challenge that two full-time pursuits at one time will present. As I always do, I talked it out with Larry and his response was, "I just want you to be happy. Do whatever you think will work for you - it's totally your call." Which I knew already, but he has been my sounding board through all of this (and for most other things for the last 24 years, come to think of it), so I was glad to hear him voice his support that way.
So, on to the 5K at Disney in TWO WEEKS!! (How did it come up this quickly? Wasn't it just January last week?) Stacie and I have discussed my expectations for this race. She reminded me that I have had a ton of illness since the first of the year, and therefore haven't been able to train as I intended to do for the race. She also reminded me that there will be other races - I don't have to do this one - and that I shouldn't feel as if I HAVE to do this race for my family. They will love me and support me no matter if I do the race or not - they are most concerned about my health and wellbeing, and just want us all to be together no matter what we are doing on our trip. I knew all of that, but it was nice to hear her say it because it helped me clarify what my motivation is for this race. It truly has nothing to do with my family (although I'm glad they will be there) - it is all about me. I feel as if this past year has been one of the most important years of my life because it has been the beginning of my journey back to being healthy again after so many years of overwhelming illness. I know I am not all the way there yet, but I am better than I was, and I want to celebrate that fact. A year ago I would never even have entertained the idea of participating in any kind of physical activity like this - it would not have been possible to do a dozen steps, if that. So to come from that to being able to do ANY of the race is a true miracle, and I intend to accept it as such and rejoice in it. My victory will not be in crossing the finish line - it will be in the journey through the race course itself. However much of the course I complete will be such a rush - I can't wait to see how well I do! I have been walking to the degree that I can, although I freely admit that the frantic pace I have had to keep at work has affected how much I've been able to do. Still, I have managed to walk ALMOST three miles at one stretch and am still attempting to get to that point before the actual race itself. I am very slow - it takes me about 15 minutes to do 3/4 mile - but I am out there doing it! And that's the whole point of this event for me. So, if I manage to speed up enough to do a 15-minute mile and cross the finish line in two weeks, that would be SUPER terrific!!! But if I don't, it won't take anything away from my sense of personal accomplishment - 'cause I am FABULOUS no matter what!!
And, here's the best part - Larry is going to walk it with me!!! I think he decided to do this because he wants to support me in however much of the course I am able to do. As he put it, "Why don't we walk as much of it as we can together - the way we do everything else?" How can I argue with that? Of course, he hasn't trained ONE STEP for this and refuses to acknowledge how difficult it will really be, but I love him for being willing to walk by my side while I make my personal statement of victory over adversity.
So that's what's happening in my world. I am SO SORRY that I haven't had the time to catch up with each of you. I will do my best to get to journals as soon as I can and see what's happening. No matter how long I go between posts, please know that I am thinking of all of you and carrying you with me on every step of this better health path. You all rock!
Have a great weekend.
Susan
You know what energizes you & what you need to do to make you happy. And Larry sounds like a heck of a guy. 
I hope all is well with you...post when you get a chance and give us an update 
We'll be cheering you on from Ohio!
