sure wish parents would watch their kids

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

But it's also well documented that physical punishment does negatively impact children. Put another way: if you think it's okay for you to hit your kids to get them to listen, can teachers? Other people on buses that think your children are misbehaving? What if they too think your children just need a "shock?" If not, why is it okay for you?

It used to be okay for men to beat their wives too because otherwise they just couldn't learn. Thinking you have to physically hit a child to get their attention is ridiculous.

Is your child allowed to hit you to get your attention?

The PP's comments read like some sort of "this was my experience" thing rather than reviewing the literature behind it but in a way I get it because that's what many people were told was okay, many people were raised under it themselves. But we just have all sorts of data that contradicts what norms of society were years ago.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

So it does have effects on future generations.

Def. does.

Intergenerational/multi-generational trauma is a real thing that I think probably a decent amount of can find we have in our own families that have influenced relationships to everyday decisions to how we feel about this and that.

 

[lowlight]

I remember, before I had kids, judging other parents and saying “mine will never behave like that!” I also have quickly forgotten how hard it is to have multiple small children when one is a baby and I was reminded, once again, when I had my youngest.

I think there is a tendency to make it to older age and see how well your children have turned out and pat yourself on the back for a job well done instead of realizing it was likely an equal combination of genetic luck (I firmly believe some children are born more wild than others), environmental factors (did parents have to work a lot, daycare, multiple young children, good teachers at school and a million others), and good parenting by both parents (not just one, which is often the case). Sometimes parents have/do all these things and their kid just turns out badly. Some parents also really think their kid has turned into a lovely adult, but they are blinded by a parents love and they’ve actually birthed a hellspawn that wreaks havoc on everyone around them who isn’t their parents. You’ll never meet a better group of parents than right here, just ask them yourself if you don’t believe me.

 

[LSUmiss]

I don't think you can confuse "sometimes kids need an old fashioned whoppin" pretty sure we all know that means a lot more than a pat on the bum.

That’s my thing. The comment that made ppl start discussing spanking sounded more harsh than a swat on the butt.

 

[gardenrooms]

Let’s take this thread in a different direction — can we all agree that people watching is an odd and somewhat perverse pastime? Seriously, mind your own business, ya weirdo!

ETA: I want to be clear that I’m not specifically referring to the OP. She saw what was happening because she found their behavior distracting. The “weirdos” I’m referring to are the people who admit to sitting on benches and people-watching to pass the time.

I have always enjoyed people watching. It can be enjoyable and relaxing. So, no, I, for one, don't agree.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

I don't think you can confuse "sometimes kids need an old fashioned whoppin" pretty sure we all know that means a lot more than a pat on the bum.

It's obvious we all do not know what that means lol. I for one know what it means since I am the one that wrote it. 3-4 firm swats on the butt is "an old fashioned butt whoppin from where I am from. Never once did I advocate or state that I beat my kids. You have escalated this way too far from what was posted. My kids are great and I don't "Hit" them, ever. I have popped their behind when they were little but now that they are 9 / 11 no need as like I have clearly stated, we take things away. But I am curious about one thing as you have such strong opinions on what I have posted. How do you punish your kids? Maybe it will give me some insight as I am always looking to improve mine and my families lives.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

I remove them from the situation. I have left movies halfway through. Left stores halfway through shopping. Sent one of them back to the hotel one day at Disney! Sometimes I just let them lay on the floor and scream until they're ready to talk about it. My six year old is prone to tantrums and will outright say she just gets so mad she doesn't know what else to do so we work on trying to recognize when those feelings are building and ways to help de-escalate both on her side and ours. If she is out of control and lashing out we sit her on the stairs where she can still see us and wait until she calms down. But she's six. I don't expect her to have control over these big emotions and new social situations she's expose to at school now. How I react to these outbursts is key to how she will end up handling them in the future.

One of their favorite things to do is 'be a starfish' when they feel like their emotions are getting out of control. They lay down on the floor with their arms and legs out, close their eyes, and "breathe in the sunshine, breathe out the bad feelings." Bonus points if it's in a patch of sunlight. It usually ends in them laughing and then we talk about what just happened.

Mostly I ask them "what do you need" because a lot of times they just want to be heard. My kids aren't perfect, I am not perfect, there are times I lose my temper and yell and I always apologize when those times happen and tell them that is not the behavior I want them to follow.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It's obvious we all do not know what that means lol. I for one know what it means since I am the one that wrote it. 3-4 firm swats on the butt is "an old fashioned butt whoppin from where I am from. Never once did I advocate or state that I beat my kids. You have escalated this way too far from what was posted. My kids are great and I don't "Hit" them, ever. I have popped their behind when they were little but now that they are 9 / 11 no need as like I have clearly stated, we take things away. But I am curious about one thing as you have such strong opinions on what I have posted. How do you punish your kids? Maybe it will give me some insight as I am always looking to improve mine and my families lives.

I'm sorry you don't like the impressions others have from what you said, not much I can do about that, maybe don't suggest kids just need an old fashion whooping IDK

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

I'm sorry you don't like the impressions others have from what you said, not much I can do about that, maybe don't suggest kids just need an old fashion whooping IDK

I don't like or dislike what others have said. I'm pretty neutral but are you going to answer my question?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don't like or dislike what others have said. I'm pretty neutral but are you going to answer my question?

You seemed to not like the responses you got saying people were blowing it out of proportion, twisting your words, etc. If I was the only one I'd be down to say yeah maybe I saw something that wasn't there but pretty much every poster who replied or liked the various responses seemed to get it as well. You seem far from neutral, I'd say you're just entrenched in your viewpoint on the matter which is your right.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

You seemed to not like the responses you got saying people were blowing it out of proportion, twisting your words, etc. If I was the only one I'd be down to say yeah maybe I saw something that wasn't there but pretty much every poster who replied or liked the various responses seemed to get it as well. You seem far from neutral, I'd say you're just entrenched in your viewpoint on the matter which is your right.

I actually like some of the responses and actually looked at a couple of the suggestions as it can't hurt right? But you still haven't answered my question.

 

[gardenrooms]

OMG! This thead....LOL

!

 

[gardenrooms]

Eh, I've done that. Left the car running, emergency brake on, doors locked to run inside to pay for gas or pick up pizza. If I can see my car thru the window of the business and keep an eye on it the whole time I don't think it's a big deal. But I've always been so strict about car seats and seatbelts, that I don't think it ever would have occured to them to unbuckle and climb around the car like that.

A parent did that in my son's middle school parking lot. The parking brake apparently failed (child was still in the back seat) and the car jumped a divider and was heading straight for another car. My very brave (and also strong son) stepped in front of the car before I could stop him and stopped it from moving. The parent never even thanked him.

I always consider what could happen if another car hit my car with my child in it - not worth the few moments it would save not to bring him with me.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I have always enjoyed people watching. It can be enjoyable and relaxing. So, no, I, for one, don't agree.

Can you explain why you enjoy it?

 

[gardenrooms]

Done!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

It's relaxing. It's a nice way to take a time out. I don't judge, I just like to observe life going on around me.

Reading this thread is much the same a people watching. A bit more intense.

And what about eavesdropping on people’s conversations? Is that something you’d enjoy doing?

 

[gardenrooms]

And what about eavesdropping on people’s conversations? Is that something you’d enjoy doing?

Wow. People watching and eavesdropping are 2 different things. I am done "speaking" with you.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Wow. People watching and eavesdropping are 2 different things. I am done "speaking" with you.

Interesting. Thanks for answering.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I've said it a million times - I'll take teens over toddlers any day! I really like the teen stage, when they stop being kids and start being people.

I'm exactly the opposite! I wasn't good with teens when I was one , but I love watching toddlers turn from babies to kids.

Most of my teaching career has been spent with the little ones, and one of my best friends is like you and teaches middle school. We marvel at each other's skills constantly!

I think it's great that there are always the right adults out there for our kids at every stage.

 

[dvcgirl67]

Yeah, it really has gotten ridiculous. I inadvertently set off quite the little controversy on our city's FB page when my youngest was in maybe 1st grade by letting her walk to school. Two blocks, 25mph speed limits, only one residential street to cross at a stop sign, and I kept an eye on her until she was across that street. Someone posted in our city group that they thought about calling the police because they saw a young child walking alone. At 8am. In May. In a town with no actual crime to speak of. And it turned into a big debate between the "kids should never be unsupervised" and "in my day, we walked uphill both ways in sub-zero temps" camp that was absolutely hilarious to watch. Better than even the Karen-est of DIS threads.

Not judging you at all...and I have no kids, but I am out and about most days walking other people's dogs (my business). Anyway, the town over from me....very wealthy town, lets kids, even the little ones go home for lunch every day if they'd like....and, most of them ride their bikes to school. There's a bike "route" that is closed down in the middle of the town three times a day, and many parents will escort their kids to some point along the "route" to and from school....and then the kids ride independently, or in packs of kids to school. I definitely see some adults out on porches with coffee in the morning along the route keeping an eye out. But...it's nice to see it and it's sort of a middle ground...giving the kids a bit of independence in their "commute" to school.

However, that's a pretty controlled setting for the most part. Whenever I see a small kid...say, under 10 walking alone anywhere, it catches my eye immediately....because it's so rare. This past summer there was a tennis camp for kids in that same town....on courts that are part of a big park that has multiple soccer fields, baseball fields, a big loop for runners. It's surrounded by woods on two sides. Again....was walking a dog and saw the camp end for the morning....kids are collected...go off with parents to cars, some parents ride off on bikes with their kids...also on bikes. But I see one little girl, no older than 6 years old, shoulder her racket and walk off alone. I kept scanning for a parent who was about to collect her....but no parent did, so she continued to walk....all the way across that park to a street that dead ends into the park...down that street, easily a 3/4 mile walk...to her house. I followed her at a distance because I was so freaked out by it...lol! Far enough behind her until she walked into her house. On the way back an older gentleman, who was outside gardening, said to me...."she does that every day, so I come out to make sure she gets home.....don't know what the parents are thinking". It's amazing how times have changed....I'm 55 and when I was a kid I was crossing a pretty busy two lane road near my home to go to the convenience store for snacks...etc.