SUggestions for sad vacation-Update pg 4

[HALEYSMOMMOM]

I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation before but....

My mother in law has just been told she has 3-6 months to live, maybe less. She has cancer. Her wish is take her family to DW with some inheritance money that she has put back. It will be my DH and I, our two kids almost 3 & 6, Dh's brother and SIL, MIL & FIL. Any suggestions on how to make this special? The kids don't yet know anything is wrong with Grandma. We might stay on site, I'm not sure yet, its whatever she wants.

Thanks!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I just wanted to say I'm sorry. The trip is a good idea. I would definitly stay on-site as MIL could get back to the room for rest easier. Maybe even a monorail or Epcot resort so there are less bus rides involved. Plan some special dinners too. Then she can have some rest time and eat at a slower pace.

 

[eeyore45]

May your mil spirit remain strong, and confident!! I'm sorry for all the sadness you must all be feeling, what a shock.

We all learn that life is short, (and life is not fair!) so if at all possible, follow your heart and let her enjoy DW with her family! I remember a poster talking about taking her kids and dh, and her dh passed away at WDW - she still goes, and takes the kids, there is still magic at Disney!!

Make it a grand gathering!! Do small things that wont tire you mil out, but will give the whole family memories of a lifetime!! If at all possible try and stay onsite - Wilderness Lodge - or Grand FLoridian!! (or even consider renting DVC points - its a 'risk' but so many have found it affordable, and a wonderful experience - and its economical!!)

Check out the DisABILITY threads here on the DIS and have your mil rent an ecv so she can enjoy some of the park without all the walking!!

Maybe try for a 'cruise' firework, oh the dessert illumination? Keep it simple, and loving - and best wishes for you and your family!!

 

[KelNottAt]

I don't have any meaningful suggestions right now, but I'll do some thinking and post them later.

In the meantime, I want you to know your MIL and the whole family will be in my prayers.

 

[mjmcca]

Also depending on how ill or tired she is rent a W/C or Scooter for her.

 

[pamouselover]

So sorry. I think just spending magical time with each other in the most magicalist place on earth, will be a memory for everyone. Take lot sof pictures, relax and enjoy your time with each other.

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

My heart goes out to your MIL and family. I pray that you all find comfort and strength in each other during this difficult time.

Two years ago, my DB and DSIL went on a WISH trip with my nephew. We all knew that Lukie would never recover and that he probably would not survive the summer. The one thing that I can recommend is to take lots of video and pictures with your MIL. It's the one thing that the family treasures the most from Lukie's trip. Seeing those happy moments when he was healthy enough to enjoy life helps to wipe out the memories of the suffering he went thru later.

God Bless You All.

 

[ktglads]

Even though I don't like them, the Leave a Legacy tiles in Epcot might be a great option to put a pic of Gramdma on so that the grandkids could see her picture on future trips and rememer the trip with her

 

[nbodyhome]

I am sorry about your mother-in-law. But you don't want to make it a sad vacation, you should try to make it a really happy one - and who knows, maybe she'll have some extra time left here also.

Just see what she wants to do - if it's go to Disney, stay offsite, do whatever - leave as much of it up to her as possible. I am not sure I'd rush in and do the Grand Floridian, unless that is what she wants. (I wasn't impressed enough with the GF to spend the money again). The vacation is about making memories, not necessarily about spending a lot of money, unless she wants a big, expensive type celebration.

If I was going to spend a lot of money on anything, it'd probably be to reserve a boat (pontoon, Grand 1 - which I really liked when I did it!), Breathless - see the fireworks, etc. Or get facials together, or just something where you feel like you have a very specific time away from the hustle and bustle of the crowds. Maybe go mini-golfing, that is such a nice thing to do in the evenings (I like Fantasia Gardens). Go canoeing or biking, or do the wagon ride at FW (I don't know how mobile your MIL will be). There are so many wonderful things to do.

 

[mickeyluv'r]

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Several years ago, my brother in-law's mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was very severe. She was also only given a few months to live, but she kept her spirits up, and the family visited her frequently. I'm sorry to say, she did pass away, but it was over six years later!!!

More recently, my aunt was told her heart was only working at 20% capacity, and that she'd probably die soon! The nurses there confirmed this. A few weeks later, the doctor said her heart was fine! Imagine! Make sure she gets a second opinion, if she hasn't done so!

I think taking this vacation is a wonderful idea! Pull out all the stops and laugh hard!
I strongly suggest that you remain open to talking about the situation with her, while trying to give her as much encouragement and hope as you can muster. I truly believe that the more positive your mind, the more likely a person is to survive longer, or at least to suffer less, becuse they are enjoying the time they have left.

Good luck!

 

[sajetto]

I just wanted to say that I am sorry to hear about what you are facing and that you and my family will be in my prayers.

I agree with another poster that you should make this as happy as a vacation as possible and to do your best to keep the reasoning behind the trip out of your mind. God bless

 

[bopper]

Consider staying at a monorail resort if possible so that she doesn't get tired from the travelling...also it would be easier to take her back to the hotel if she gets tired. This of course depends on her budget. If she had never been to WDW, and can affort id, then just show her the monorail resorts and let her pick a favorite based on theme. , Take lots of pictures and videos. Pick out some nice restaurants in the styles that she might like. Make sure she gets down time to relax. Consider a wheel chair or ECV if she is getting tired. Get pictures of her with Mickey.

My dad passed away from Lung cancer a few years back. That last year we knew this was the last Easter, last Thanksgiving, etc. On the last thanksgiving I had my dad tell me all his recipes as we made Thanksgiving dinner together. I took lots of pictures and bound the recipes and pictures into a book for me and my brothers.

 

[msklcassidy]

They are in a similar situation. Their dad is really ill (though you wouldn't know it by looking at him). My friend contacted me since I've been to Disney many times. What I arranged for them was to their liking (and budget). My advice...get a good planning book (I prefer the passporter)...sit down with your MIL and figure out what you want/must do/etc. Then call Disney. Explain your situation and they will work with you.

We did a grand gathering for my friend's family. We also arranged a scooter (blaming it on Pop's bad knee -- which he really does have) in case he's a bit more tired. They leave in a week! We also put in some special tours (Pop's taking the boys fishing) and arranged for breakfast at CRT (so Pop can see all the Princesses with his 3 grand daughters).

Yeah...it's kind of a sad trip for the grown-ups. But Pop is feeling like a kid and the kids (who don't know yet...it's a BIG surprise when the limo picks them all up) who are all under the age of 9 are in for a BIG surprise trip for their birthdays (all of them are in late March - late April).

PM me if I can help in any way. One really neat thing to do is register for post cards from a "Fairy Godmailer" at the Paying it forward area. People (I've done it) take a few minutes from their vacation to send a few post cards to kids (and adults) to get them excited about their upcoming trip. Usually it's a "can't wait to see you soon....love, Alice (or any other character)" type of message.

One last thing...get a journal for your MIL and ask her to write her favorite things about the trip in it for the kids later. I pre-made a small Disney scrapbook for my friend so that she can have the characters sign the scrapbook and she can insert the pictures (as soon as she has them developed) into the appropriate area. I also left room for Pop to write. Finally, be sure to get LOTS of those group photos taken by the Disney folks. They are great family keepsakes....(my absolutely favorite Disney photo is the one of my mom and dad, me with my husband and son and my brother and his wife and 2 kids...we gave it to my mom and she has it on the piano...displayed prominently since it's the only one of us all in a long time!) My son looks at this photo everytime he's over there and says...remember when Goofy made fun of Uncle Mike! It makes us all laugh!

Karen

 

[Ozymoe]

I'd iterate what others have said:

MIL should stay at a monorail resort, rent an ECV (possibly from an independent company for the week so she has it to go back and forth to the monorail resort). Go sooner rather than later, even if it interferes with school.

I think the Leave a Legacy might be a nice thing to do so MIL will know on future visits the family will always stop here...maybe even with her! Don't rule that out...one never knows for sure what will happen.

This will be a special trip no matter what happens in the future. Be good to one another.

 

[funnybunny921]

When I was young (about 10) my entire faimly went to WDW with my uncle for Christmas. It was the last christmas he was alive. I will always remeber the time spent with him and have many pictures to remember him by. I would get a scooter or a wheelchair if she wants to walk part of the time. Take many pictures. One thing that my mom had us kids do was to have a section in our auto graph books for our family to write "autographs" You could have grandma write them each a note to keep with a picture in an album or autograph book.

Try to stay positive. That year that my uncle died my brothers were much younger and we lost both grandparents on one side and my uncle on the other side of our family. My parents really helped us through that by staying positive and making as many memories with the time we do had left with them.

 

[Ozymoe]

My dad passed away from Lung cancer a few years back. That last year we knew this was the last Easter, last Thanksgiving, etc. On the last thanksgiving I had my dad tell me all his recipes as we made Thanksgiving dinner together. I took lots of pictures and bound the recipes and pictures into a book for me and my brothers.

...this touches me deeply.

 

[alacazander]

I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation before but....

My mother in law has just been told she has 3-6 months to live, maybe less. She has cancer. Her wish is take her family to DW with some inheritance money that she has put back. It will be my DH and I, our two kids almost 3 & 6, Dh's brother and SIL, MIL & FIL. Any suggestions on how to make this special? The kids don't yet know anything is wrong with Grandma. We might stay on site, I'm not sure yet, its whatever she wants.

Thanks!

Oh that is so sad. I"m so sorry to hear that! My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
I don't have any suggestions for WDW but a friend of ours went through something similar a few years ago and one thing they did was to go to Build a Bear and have Grandma build a bear with Josh and they put her voice in the bear saying how much she loved him. So when he needs to hear her voice he just hugs the bear and listens. He loves that bear!

 

[jersygrl111]

you will be in my prayers....can't imagine what you must be going through...
I agree with everyone's suggestions....talk to whole family and just make this a non hectic relaxing disney vacation...you all will get more out of it that way...i really would advise calling Walt Disney World directly...maybe they will do something special for you...maybe they are able to do some kind of special thing or dedication etc....for a surprise for her...I know there are luaus, dinner specials, etc...maybe you can arrange for some kind of special treatment of sorts...I dont think it would hurt to ask..that is if you really want to DO something...otherwise relax, dont run park to park....spending time with her will be the most rewarding for her...not the attractions!!!

 

[BethR]

There is nothing that I can add. Just .

I hope that the next months are very meaningful for all of you...

 

[nbodyhome]

I think the Leave a Legacy might be a nice thing to do so MIL will know on future visits the family will always stop here...maybe even with her! Don't rule that out...one never knows for sure what will happen.

I wouldn't do the Leave a Legacy (maybe that is just me), but it looks too much like a memorial/graveyard to me already.

I didn't see where MIL wasn't up and around? There are a lot of people who are terminal who are very mobile (look at Dana Reeve - she was the picture of health only 7 weeks prior to her death).

Thay may end up spending lots of time at Epcot/MGM - in that case, the Boardwalk resorts are a good way to go. There is also the Swan and Dolphin, and the buses do take the ECV's if they'd prefer to stay at a moderate or value. Or offsite - there are lots of choices, and I'd let your MIL's wishes be what happens.