Sticky Work Situation

[va32h]

I am the manager - i.e. the boss, for my division. Occasionally, I bring my children to work with me; they behave, I don't expect anyone else to supervise them for me and...well...I'm the boss.

One of my employees brought her son to work with her, on a day when I was not there. She did not ask me first, but I wasn't upset about that - he is 13, so I would most likely have said "yes" anyway. However, the other people working that day complained about him, that he was loud, obnoxious, disruptive.

I didn't say anything to her at the time (a mistake, I see now) because I thought it would be a one time deal. Well, she brought him again, on a day when I was there, and they weren't kidding. He is noisy and constantl getting in everyone's way, and he ended up tripping one of our alarms by accident. I was very annoyed and told him to stop touching everything...he just couldn't be still.

His mother confessed to me that he has ADD - okay I am sympathetic to that, but that is not my problem. Well, then he was horsing around and ending up breaking something that a customer had purchased. After that I just said "you can't bring him anymore, period." She is angry because "you bring your kids all the time."

Well that's true, but my children haven't broken anything. And I'm the boss, and too bad, the boss gets to do things employees don't get to do.

Some of my staff suggested that making a general rule "no children at work" would be the least offensive way to handle it. I guess I'm being stubborn, but I don't see why I should be inconvenienced because someone else's child cannot behave, regardless of the reason they cannot behave.

Your thoughts?

 

[auntpolly]

I hope this doesn't sound judgemental because I sympathize, but I never do things that I think people who work under me shouldn't be doing. I feel a rule is a rule. This is no flame! I understand how hard it is sometimes.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Do other employees have children? If so, I'd make a blanket rule that employees can bring their children if there is an emergency, but the children must stay in the employee's area and not misbehave. If that won't go over, I think it would only be fair if you made a rule saying no children (including your own) can come to work with their parent.

 

[MushyMushy]

Sorry, I sympathize as well, but I think a boss should be willing to follow the same rules they expect the employees to follow.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

At my former office, people were allowed to bring children IF they requested in advance and the children had to stay in the parents workspace. They were not allowed to run around, be loud, or disruptive.

No one had any issues with this at all.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Should be the same for everyone.

 

[Devil_Dog99]

Unless you have sitter issues, who brings kids to work??? If you are going to allow it though, one rule and it applies to EVERYONE

 

[YachtClubWoman]

Some of my staff suggested that making a general rule "no children at work" would be the least offensive way to handle it. I guess I'm being stubborn, but I don't see why I should be inconvenienced because someone else's child cannot behave, regardless of the reason they cannot behave.

Your thoughts?

The rule should be "no children" - you cannot expect your employees to follow the rules if you are not. I have never had a job where it was permissable to bring your children to work. How do you know your direct reports don't want your children around either?

 

[Patch'sD]

You are providing a perk, That if necessary you can exclude based upon behavior. Yes, You can take your child to work with approval. If the child is disruptive to the office environmnet, you will have to make other arrangements.

 

[MareQ]

I hope this doesn't sound judgemental because I sympathize, but I never do things that I think people who work under me shouldn't be doing. I feel a rule is a rule. This is no flame! I understand how hard it is sometimes.

I agree. IMO -Boss or not - I think it's bad business to bring your own children to work but not allow anybody else to do the same.

We allow children to be brought to work on occasion - when sick - when school is closed etc. We have no other restriction on that and you can BET yourself that there's NO WAY I would bring my children in but tell my employees - "Sorry it's OK for me to do this - but NOT ok for you because I am the Boss and my kid behaves".

 

[dcgrumpy]

Sorry, I sympathize as well, but I think a boss should be willing to follow the same rules they expect the employees to follow.

ITA.

 

[GoofyBaseballMom26]

I'm a manager and I won't do anything like this that I wouldn't allow others to do. I don't think that because you are the boss allows you special privileges over others in most cases. I do however think that you have the right to set rules that don't allow children at all just be willing to follow them also.

I agree with the OP, maybe a rule that allows children with approval (but that might rule out real emergencies) but I definately would not allow them if they were disruptive, regardless of the reason. The "stay in your area and not bother others" should be part of the ruling.

Good luck, being the boss is not always fun is it?

 

[horseshowmom]

His mother confessed to me that he has ADD - okay I am sympathetic to that, but that is not my problem. Well, then he was horsing around and ending up breaking something that a customer had purchased. After that I just said "you can't bring him anymore, period." She is angry because "you bring your kids all the time."

Well that's true, but my children haven't broken anything. And I'm the boss, and too bad, the boss gets to do things employees don't get to do.

Some of my staff suggested that making a general rule "no children at work" would be the least offensive way to handle it. I guess I'm being stubborn, but I don't see why I should be inconvenienced because someone else's child cannot behave, regardless of the reason they cannot behave.

Your thoughts?

Okay, here are my thoughts. Your employees are right, the "easiest" way to handle it is to make a blanket policy of no children at work. I wouldn't do that though. I get so sick of "blanket policies" being made that hurt everybody just because one person is the problem. That's happened in our organization many times.

Personally, I would tell her just what you said. You didn't tell her not to bring him until he created a problem. I would tell her that he was loud, disruptive, other employees complained, and he caused damage. If she wants to bring up your kids, you can tell her that yours haven't done those things.

She won't like it, and she'll think you're kids aren't any better than hers (even though they are). BUT, the only person who will be inconvenienced is HER, not the rest of the office.

I hope this doesn't sound judgemental because I sympathize, but I never do things that I think people who work under me shouldn't be doing. I feel a rule is a rule. This is no flame! I understand how hard it is sometimes.

I agree with your thoughts completely. I am very much a rule follower and never expect anything from anybody else that I wouldn't/don't do myself, but this isn't an office rule, thus far.

If my child can come in an behave herself (work or play quietly and not disrupt anything), I don't think it's fair to penalize myself or other workers who might like to use the same privilege from time to time just because this woman's child won't behave.

As a whole, I think our society bends over too far backward to compensate for things like this. JMHO though.

 

[va32h]

The rule should be "no children" - you cannot expect your employees to follow the rules if you are not. I have never had a job where it was permissable to bring your children to work. How do you know your direct reports don't want your children around either?

My boss does know and he doesn't mind because I am available virtually round the clock and on a moment's notice. He understands that to get this extreme flexibility from me, the flipside is that sometimes my children have to come with me.

I should also point out that about 80% of the time I am working (and the kids are with me) we are the only people actually there. No customers, no other employees. I work all sorts of odd hours.

That if necessary you can exclude based upon behavior. Yes, You can take your child to work with approval. If the child is disruptive to the office environmnet, you will have to make other arrangements.

Isn't that essentially what I did though? I told the one person with a disruptive child that she could not bring that child to work anymore.

 

[jrmasm]

I agree. IMO -Boss or not - I think it's bad business to bring your own children to work but not allow anybody else to do the same.

We allow children to be brought to work on occasion - when sick - when school is closed etc. We have no other restriction on that and you can BET yourself that there's NO WAY I would bring my children in but tell my employees - "Sorry it's OK for me to do this - but NOT ok for you because I am the Boss and my kid behaves".

Maybe I'm a dope but why the heck would sick children be allowed at your work??

 

[Serena]

I think you're fine. It is alright in an occassional basis to bring your children, as long as they aren't disruptive. If she can control him, then she can bring him. But she can't, or she didn't, two seperate times.

I wouldn't make the rule that no one is allowed to bring children except you.

 

[disykat]

You ARE allowing them to do what you do - bring them to work. The reason he is being excluded is because of his behavior. You have a very lenient policy IMO. They can bring them unless they become a disruption, at which point they lose those priviledges.

I don't see a double standard. The only concern I would have as a boss is, who will tell you if your children are becoming a disruption?

 

[mommasita]

I agree with the majority here. If you allow preferences for yourself, your employees will start to hate you, and hate work...One for all, and all for one..

I have never worked where this is allowed on a regular basis, In an emergency circumstance only.

 

[dbk1029]

Is there a policy about this in your Employee/Company Handbook? Honestly that whole "I'm the boss" mentality really irks me. Everyone should have to follow the same rules. You may not like it but it is the FAIREST way to handle this.

 

[sugarpie]

I think if you're going to have a no children at work policy (which is a good idea, IMO) then that includes your children.

How are you going to handle which children are allowed to come and which are not, otherwise?

I would not like working for someone who has policies, but does not follow them.