Sticky Work Situation

[imsorry]

I am the manager - i.e. the boss, for my division. Occasionally, I bring my children to work with me; they behave, I don't expect anyone else to supervise them for me and...well...I'm the boss. One of my employees brought her son to work with her, on a day when I was not there. She did not ask me first, but I wasn't upset about that - he is 13, so I would most likely have said "yes" anyway. However, the other people working that day complained about him, that he was loud, obnoxious, disruptive.

I didn't say anything to her at the time (a mistake, I see now) because I thought it would be a one time deal. Well, she brought him again, on a day when I was there, and they weren't kidding. He is noisy and constantl getting in everyone's way, and he ended up tripping one of our alarms by accident. I was very annoyed and told him to stop touching everything...he just couldn't be still.

His mother confessed to me that he has ADD - okay I am sympathetic to that, but that is not my problem. Well, then he was horsing around and ending up breaking something that a customer had purchased. After that I just said "you can't bring him anymore, period." She is angry because "you bring your kids all the time."

Well that's true, but my children haven't broken anything. And I'm the boss, and too bad, the boss gets to do things employees don't get to do.

Some of my staff suggested that making a general rule "no children at work" would be the least offensive way to handle it. I guess I'm being stubborn, but I don't see why I should be inconvenienced because someone else's child cannot behave, regardless of the reason they cannot behave.
Your thoughts?

Ummmm, so let me get this straight, you're the boss?

 

[lillygator]

Is there a policy about this in your Employee/Company Handbook? Honestly that whole "I'm the boss" mentality really irks me. Everyone should have to follow the same rules. You may not like it but it is the FAIREST way to handle this.

Exactly...if you are able to bring your kids in because you are "the boss" and no one else is allowed think of the bitterness and resentment the people you have working for you it will create.

 

[PhotobearSam]

That if necessary you can exclude based upon behavior. Yes, You can take your child to work with approval. If the child is disruptive to the office environmnet, you will have to make other arrangements.

I totally agree with this.

First off, if someone is disruptive, they have to go. It's not like you don't allow anyone to bring kids to work if they have to, it's you gave this person a chance and they blew it. Others should not have to pay because she can't control him.

I grew up no questioning the boss because he/she is the BOSS...PERIOD.

I hate that we are now a bunch of people who have to bend in every direction to make sure we don't hurt anyone's feelings. It's a job, not kindergarden, if you screw up, you lose the right to bring kids to work.

I am the boss at my business and I had an employee remark that I got to the office 5 minutes late one morning. I guess it did not matter that I work 7 days a week 12 to 15 hrs a day all summer but she had to comment.

I told her, when she owns the place, I will be happy to explain. In my past I never would have questioned my boss on their actions. If you don't like it, quit but question, never.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[va32h]

You ARE allowing them to do what you do - bring them to work. The reason he is being excluded is because of his behavior. You have a very lenient policy IMO. They can bring them unless they become a disruption, at which point they lose those priviledges.

I don't see a double standard. The only concern I would have as a boss is, who will tell you if your children are becoming a disruption?

That did occur to me. I really do think I am harder on both myself and my kids than other people though.

A few weeks ago, I was sick with worry because our office had lost $100 -- I honestly agonized over whether I'd get fired. Well, my boss' secretary was certainly down on me, but my actual boss just laughed and said that it was exactly because I was the type of person to agonize over losing $100 that made me such a valuable employee.

There is one employee who has been there forever, and is sort of a "grandma" type. I totally think she would tell me if my children were annoying her, and not mince words about it either.

 

[KelNottAt]

Managers have to lead by example. Either let her bring her kid to work b/c that's what you do, or - keep your kids at home because that's what you expect her to do.

Placing yourself above the rules is a sure-fire way to undermine your credibility and your employees' loyalty.

 

[JKanownik]

I don't believe that bringing your child to work is appropriate whether you are the boss or not. It is not fair to the child or the other employees. You can't expect a child to sit through an entire work day and behave. I have never met a child that could sit quietly for 8 or 9 hours and not act up once. If you can't find a sitter, stay home.

 

[va32h]

Ummmm, so let me get this straight, you're the boss?

Now see - this is exactly why I had to put it in there three times. You are being sarcastic of course, but how many threads are full of replies that ask about things that were explained in the OP?

 

[DawnCt1]

Isn't that essentially what I did though? I told the one person with a disruptive child that she could not bring that child to work anymore.

I am a big one for second chances. I would tell all of the employees that disruptive children cannot come to work. I would tell this particular employee that if her child is disruptive again he will not be allowed to return to work with her. This will give her an opportunity to correct the past situation, exert parental authority to make him behave and "save face". If he is disruptive again, well, you gave her another chance.

 

[lillygator]

Placing yourself above the rules is a sure-fire way to undermine your credibility and your employees' loyalty.

I think so too...and as a PP mentioned bending over backwards to be nice to employees...I don't think it is that at all. A good leader, manager, boss, etc leads by example. That doesn't mean feelings are never going to be hurt or everyone gets to do whatever they want.

 

[taylor1293]

Well, I'm going to go against the flow here. I think since you are always available (and i'm sure this is expected of you) and your boss approves, you should be able to bring your children.

Most people in management get special perks. Such as longer vacations and greater benefits. This is no different.

I would put out a policy that says "no children permitted without prior authorization from you" and include a statement about expected behavior. Be clear on what is and is not acceptable.

Good luck!

 

[va32h]

I don't believe that bringing your child to work is appropriate whether you are the boss or not. It is not fair to the child or the other employees. You can't expect a child to sit through an entire work day and behave. I have never met a child that could sit quietly for 8 or 9 hours and not act up once. If you can't find a sitter, stay home.

At the moment, I am home! I frequently work from home. I also frequently work early in the am, late at night, on weekends, holidays, and at the drop of a hat.

I did mention in another post that I work a variety of odd hours, and often when I am in the office with my kids, no one else is there. So no other employees or customers to inconvenience.

I seldom have to work 8 or 9 hours in a row, and on the occasions that I do, I definitely have a sitter, because I agree that it is asking too much of a child be at work with me for that long.

 

[imsorry]

Now see - this is exactly why I had to put it in there three times. You are being sarcastic of course, but how many threads are full of replies that ask about things that were explained in the OP?

 

[auntpolly]

See the reason you have to go all the way - one way or the other - is because it just creates more trouble than it is worth.

Someone will always think that someone else is getting preferential treatement (His kids were bouncing off the walls and she didn't say a word!") What if you aren't there - who decides? I believe that you are hard on yourself too, but trust me, there will be talk behind your back that this is not so.

All this leads to an unprofessional workplace, IMO, because no one will ever be happy unless the rules apply to all. I see this as a rule, not a perk.

If you are doing it outside office hours, I don't see a problem.

 

[MareQ]

Maybe I'm a dope but why the heck would sick children be allowed at your work??

Why not? If the parent chooses to bring in a sick child that's their business not ours

 

[jrmasm]

Why not? If the parent chooses to bring in a sick child that's their business not ours

you're kidding right? Please tell me you're kdding.

 

[lillygator]

Why not? If the parent chooses to bring in a sick child that's their business not ours

If their child is contagious it becomes everyone in the office's business.

OP, if it's after hours I see no issue....

 

[n2dzny]

And I'm the boss, and too bad, the boss gets to do things employees don't get to do.




**Not to flame, but I have a degree in Public Administration and one thing I learned is that this is NOT the attitude to have. It is like everyother situation-one bad apple ruins it for the whole bunch. Point out to her what her kid does (trip the alarm, break things, etc) and if she can't control him, then tell her that she can't bring him back. If you make it a blanket rule that no one can bring their kids to work, you are punishing everyone (not to mention yourself). I see your point, but you need to have a different attitude about it-at least don't verbalize it like that.

 

[MareQ]

you're kidding right? Please tell me you're kdding.

Nope.

 

[sugarpie]

Why not? If the parent chooses to bring in a sick child that's their business not ours

If a child is too sick to be at school or daycare, then the child should be at home, not at a workplace possibly spreading a virus to your co-workers.

If you choose to have kids, then they need to take priority over work.

 

[lillygator]

Why not? If the parent chooses to bring in a sick child that's their business not ours

And I'm the boss, and too bad, the boss gets to do things employees don't get to do.




**Not to flame, but I have a degree in Public Administration and one thing I learned is that this is NOT the attitude to have. It is like everyother situation-one bad apple ruins it for the whole bunch. Point out to her what her kid does (trip the alarm, break things, etc) and if she can't control him, then tell her that she can't bring him back. If you make it a blanket rule that no one can bring their kids to work, you are punishing everyone (not to mention yourself). I see your point, but you need to have a different attitude about it-at least don't verbalize it like that.

To me the "boss" is getting paid for their additional duties in such a role, does not mean they should be able to write their own rules.