Steps in relationships, when to move to another level?

[Wishing on a star]

Like I said, even if the situation is not real.
There is a real person posting all of this.
And, again... I consider that to be really really 'off'.

And, like I have been saying...
At this point, doesn't matter.
I don't really care.

I am here, just in everyone's best interests, both the OP and those who have been 'sucked in'.

Those who enable are complicit.

(And, guess what.. Yes, I have every right to do so.)

 

[Hikergirl]

Like I said, even if the situation is not real.
There is a real person posting all of this.
And, again... I consider that to be really really 'off'.

And, like I have been saying...
At this point, doesn't matter.
I don't really care.

Sure you do, you are still here posting.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I have not, and will not, post to the OP.
I do not care.

And, now that I have stated the obvious, for the third time, I am

 

[Vijoge]

As a glasses wearer, this bothers me. I can't imagine wandering around in a blur because my husband can't see me at my best. (No pun intended lol)

Maybe she has really ugly glasses????

 

[Vijoge]

Yes I realize how crazy it sounds considering marriage at this point. I definitely get that. I guess maybe he does not know the real me, heck I will not even wear glasses around him. I put my best foot forward with him, even after 6 months. I do not want him to see me without make up or dressed to look my best. It is exhausting really. He builds me up though, he really does make me feel good about myself. When I was married I reached the point that I just did not care. I was a lot heavier than I am now, my hair was awful, and I just did not care what I looked like. I suppose I should motivate myself to be my best instead of letting somebody else do it.

I totally KNOW I am not ready to get married to anybody at this point in life.

From DH: Let him see you at your worst. No make up, ratty sweats, hair wild, yes, even the dreaded glasses. Crappy attitude-the whole bit. See if he leaves you then. If he doesn't, he didn't love you anyway. If you can't love someone on their worst day you don't deserve to love them on their best day.

From me: A relationship shouldn't be exhausting and you don't feel good about yourself. If you felt good about yourself you wouldn't be exhausting yourself trying to hide the real you.

 

[Nancyg56]

I have not, and will not, post to the OP.
I do not care.

And, now that I have stated the obvious, for the third time, I am

What has been obvious to me is that you feel the need to insist that you are right. And admonish others for not following your lead when YOU say that it is enough.

 

[Poohforyou]

From DH: Let him see you at your worst. No make up, ratty sweats, hair wild, yes, even the dreaded glasses. Crappy attitude-the whole bit. See if he leaves you then. If he does, he didn't love you anyway. If you can't love someone on their worst day you don't deserve to love them on their best day.

From me: A relationship shouldn't be exhausting and you don't feel good about yourself. If you felt good about yourself you wouldn't be exhausting yourself trying to hide the real you.

This is exactly how I knew dh was the one.

The primping is what you do for the 1st handful of dates.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Do you wear your contacts to sleep? I assume you two spend nights together.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

 

[Tasha228]

Do you wear your contacts to sleep? I assume you two spend nights together.

Oh, certainly! How else could she see him as she watches him adoringly while he sleeps?

 

[Wishing on a star]

If people don't want to comment to the OP for whatever reason then they don't have too. If people don't want to read the comments to the OP, then don't. Move along and don't open the thread. Its really simple.

Nope.... Nancy, I can assure you that your comments specifically about me (a thinly veiled personal attack which does not add to this thread) are not true.
It doesn't matter whether anyone or everyone thinks I am right or not. So what...

Some simple reading and comprehension might show that in my post, I was simply answering your comments, and other comments like the one, quoted above, from a poster who thinks that only those with their opinion (the right opinion) should be here, and that others who seem to be thinking along the same lines as myself, don't have the right and shouldn't be posting here. Like they are right, and everyone who thinks otherwise should shut up and go away...

 

[cabanafrau]

Nope.... Nancy, I can assure you that your comments specifically about me (a thinly veiled personal attack which does not add to this thread) are not true.
It doesn't matter whether anyone or everyone thinks I am right or not. So what...

Some simple reading and comprehension might show that in my post, I was simply answering the comment, quoted above, from a poster who thinks that only those with their opinion (the right opinion) should be here, and that others who seem to be thinking along the same lines as myself, don't have the right and shouldn't be posting here. Like they are right, and everyone who thinks otherwise should shut up and go away...

For what it's worth, my reading and comprehension skills(which admittedly are likely sorely lacking and flawed) don't read or comprehend the post you've quoted in the vein you seem to have done. It's not like I don't struggle on a daily basis to make a point clear when I post, only to discover I didn't even come close. So I'll leave room that I'm misunderstanding your habitual comments in threads regarding the pointlessness of continuing the thread and suggestions you are done with it, etc. which I've repeatedly understood as your criticism of a discussion continuing and registering your disapproval that anyone should choose to do so.

Clearly something is very wrong with me, because it tickles my funny bone and makes me giggle to call someone out for a thinly veiled personal attack by suggesting some simple reading and comprehension might show -- well anything.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Oh, certainly! How else could she see him as she watches him adoringly while he sleeps?

My eyes hurt now. If I fall asleep for 20 minutes with my contacts it hurts bad enough. I can't imagine a whole night!

 

[weeniecat2442]

This is exactly how I knew dh was the one.

The primping is what you do for the 1st handful of dates.

ahhhh isnt it so much easier and relaxing when you get past all of that primping! i think my boyfriend sees me more in pj's than any other clothes!

 

[Tasha228]

My eyes hurt now. If I fall asleep for 20 minutes with my contacts it hurts bad enough. I can't imagine a whole night!

Oh, I hear ya! I can't imagine either. That's the least of the things that I can't imagine about the exhausting lengths the OP will go to just to have a man though.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

Yes, especially for someone who has been dating 6 months and is "pre-engaged".

Agreed

 

[lustergirl]

Just unbelievable.....

 

[phorsenuf]

From DH: Let him see you at your worst. No make up, ratty sweats, hair wild, yes, even the dreaded glasses. Crappy attitude-the whole bit. See if he leaves you then. If he doesn't, he didn't love you anyway. If you can't love someone on their worst day you don't deserve to love them on their best day.

From me: A relationship shouldn't be exhausting and you don't feel good about yourself. If you felt good about yourself you wouldn't be exhausting yourself trying to hide the real you.

I was dating a guy once and on our second date we were at a party and I passed out. Did a swan dive under the coffee table and tore my back up, then went outside and puked several times. My date was kind enough to hold my hair back. Now, 34 years later we can still laugh about it. Yep, we married. Now if that's not love, I don't know what is.

 

[Tasha228]

I was dating a guy once and on our second date we were at a party and I passed out. Did a swan dive under the coffee table and tore my back up, then went outside and puked several times. My date was kind enough to hold my hair back. Now, 34 years later we can still laugh about it. Yep, we married. Now if that's not love, I don't know what is.

Hahaha, this reminds me...when dh and I were newly sorta dating (as in we were literally best friends first and didn't realize we would become more) and he met my ds for the first time (2nd time with dd), my ds puked in the parking lot after we ate at Olive Garden. He wasn't sick, just ate too much, and gave it allll back in the parking lot. I remember thinking, 'Well, that's it for us!' Because dh does not handle stuff like that well so I knew that would be the end. Instead he helped me! And that was supposed to be the end of the experience. We had already gone to a movie and dinner. I had to run across the street to Walmart to get ds a quick change of pants and he asked if he could go with us. Afterwards he asked if we wanted to go to the park since ds was back to normal. Then after that the kids fell asleep in the car and he stayed in the passenger side of my car talking for an hour before I finally had to make him get in his own car and go home lol! I started realizing then there was probably something there. I was more right about that than I realized at the time!

 

[Vijoge]

I was dating a guy once and on our second date we were at a party and I passed out. Did a swan dive under the coffee table and tore my back up, then went outside and puked several times. My date was kind enough to hold my hair back. Now, 34 years later we can still laugh about it. Yep, we married. Now if that's not love, I don't know what is.

And your DH has complete understanding of what my DH was talking about. Once they've held your hair while you've puked. . .if they're still there in the morning it's got to be love.